Dylan (10 page)

It feels good to get angry. I don’t want to
stop shouting. I want to scream so loud my voice goes raw. So I do.
I climb out of the car, shut the door behind me, and scream into
the darkness surrounding me as if it’s the only thing that can
understand my pain.

I don’t realize my legs have given out until
I’m falling toward the cement beneath my feet. Uncle Jim catches
me, scoops me up in his arms, opens the car door, and gently tucks
me back inside. He kisses my forehead while running his fingers
over my cheeks to wipe away the tears I hadn’t known were still
falling down my face.

“Never again, Raven. I will never let anyone
else hurt you again.” Uncle Jim promises me. Allowing for the first
time in years a feeling of acceptance to fill me.

I can’t change what that monster did to me.
I can’t take it away and pretend it didn’t happen. However, I need
to start accepting
everything
about myself that I’ve denied
for so long.

Chapter Ten

Dylan

“Wake up, pussy.”
A grin pulls at my lips. I crack my eyes open to see Troy hovering
over me.

Unlike when I fell asleep late last night,
the sun is now streaming through the open windows. It’s slanting
across the room and highlighting everything in its path, including
Troy’s playfully annoyed glare.

“I get shot, so you try to burn yourself
alive. You’re such an attention seeker.” I sit up on a chuckle, and
run a hand through my sleep-mussed hair. “Don’t bother trying to
primp for me. It looks just as shitty as it does every time I see
your ugly mug.”

“Fuck you, man. That’s the respect you show
a guy who almost died?” There is humor in my voice and in Troy’s
expression, but we both know there is nothing humorous about this
situation.

He sits down beside me, his gaze dropping to
my now bandaged leg. “Are you alright?”

I nod my head on an exhale. “I’m
alright.”

“Ardon will make Fuentes pay for this.”

“I know, and I hope my leg is in a much
better condition when he does. I want to watch.” I blink a couple
times before I shift my gaze back to his as another thought pops
into my head. “Addie is here with the baby.”

Troy nods while running his hands over his
jean-covered thighs. The nervous tick he has had for as long as I
can remember. “I know. It’s awkward to say the least, but Kace
seems to be handling it well. She’s out there gushing over Benjamin
now.”

I figured she would be. The little guy is
pretty adorable. “Ethan said they’re staying here until Addie is
finished with her postpartum. Whatever the fuck that is—it sounds
fucking disgusting.”

Troy laughs, leaning back into the cushions.
“Kaci has been reading a bit about it, and honestly, it is fucking
disgusting. I have to tune her out just to keep my food down.”

I lean back too muttering a curse at the
fact that in losing my jeans last night I also lost my gun, my cell
phone, and my pot. I groan as I run a hand over the stubble on my
face. “I need a joint.”

Troy scoffs in mock disgust. “You need a
joint! I haven’t gotten high in almost nine months!”

“Hey, I didn’t tie you to her pussy. You did
that all on your own.” Troy’s grin lights up his face.

“Yeah, I did, and I’d do it again in a
fucking heartbeat.” Then, as if another thought just occurred to
him, his eyes narrow at me. “And don’t talk about my wife’s
pussy.”

I shake my head as I laugh at him. “I’m so
damn happy for you, man.”

The door swings open allowing Ethan to limp
into the room. The doctor said he had a mild fracture in his ankle
from the fall, but that with an ace wrap, rest, and elevation it
would heal fine on its own. Yet, he’s up walking. Typical
Ethan.

“Mom has breakfast ready, and Kaci needs to
be rescued from my mother.” He chuckles. “Your poor kid is going
acrobatic to avoid my mom’s hands.”

Troy jumps up from his seat like he’s
fucking Superman and the world is on fire. I don’t even try to stop
the laugh that bubbles up as he rushes out of the room to save Kaci
from Deirdre’s probing. Ethan walks over, and helps me pull myself
up into a standing positon even though I really don’t need him
to.

“I can walk, man.”

Ethan laughs, stepping back with his hands
raised in surrender. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I’m still a
little jittery.”

I slap a hand on his shoulder before heading
for the door. “I need to head out. I’ll say goodbye to everyone,
but I need to go check on Mom.”

I don’t have to explain myself. Everyone
knows exactly where I’m going. Thankfully nobody looks at me with
pity anymore. The looks of pity that I got right after Mom’s
accident had been more than I could handle. Nobody thought I could
take care of her, but I showed all the naysayers that I was all she
really needed.

I make the rounds, saying goodbye to
everyone individually, and ending with a soft kiss to Benjamin’s
head. The kid really is cute. I notice that Addie barely looks at
Troy. I wonder if her baby daddy notices it too. Does he realize
how much they look alike? Does he notice Addie’s distance? She
talks comfortably with everyone in this room, except Troy.

Ethan follows me out, knowing that I will
need a ride, and that Troy won’t leave Kaci. He’s getting more and
more protective the closer it gets to baby time. They opted not to
find out the gender, but if the baby is a girl, her name will be
Skyla, and if it’s a boy his name will be Luke. Troy’s dad was
beyond thrilled to hear that bit of news.

I limp my way into Ethan’s car, but he
doesn’t laugh because he’s limping more than I am. We make quite
the pair of bad asses right now.

We don’t talk much during the drive, and I
don’t even try to force conversation. I am mentally and physically
exhausted. Ethan pulls up outside the hardware store slowly. I limp
my way out of the car feeling like an eighty year old.
This is
fucking pathetic.
“I’ll catch you at the meeting tonight.”

“I’ll swing by to pick you up.”

I nod, because that’s probably for the best.
Shoving into Troy’s car with a gimp leg sounds like an excruciating
experience. I close the car door and turn to stumble up the steps
into my apartment. As soon as I walk in, I feel like I can breathe
again. Everything is exactly how I left it, and words cannot
explain how good it feels to be home. I strip off Ethan’s shorts
while still standing at the front door.

I toss them to the side before shamelessly
pacing through my apartment in my
happy boxers
. I head
straight for my bedroom. I have a couple joints lined up in the top
drawer of my dresser, and after the last twenty-four hours, I
really need at least one. I open the drawer, pull one out, place it
between my lips, and reach back in for my lighter.

I hesitate. Out of nowhere, my interaction
with Raven flashes through my mind. What in the hell is happening
to me. I barely know the girl, and she’s twisting up my thought
process. I shake it off while lighting the joint. I’ve never hurt
anyone who didn’t deserve it, and drugs or no drugs, I’d never hurt
her.

I hold it between my lips as I gather up
jeans, a t-shirt, and a fresh pair of boxers. The relaxation from
my high settles into me with every inhale. I sit all my shit on the
bathroom counter before turning on the shower. The billowing steam
washing over me feels perfect against my aching body. I finish off
my joint before stripping and climbing into the heavenly water.

It takes me twice the amount of time it
should to accomplish even the simplest task, but I somehow manage
to rush through my shower without getting the bandage wet. Getting
dressed afterward is another task all in of itself. It takes
forever before I give up and decide jeans will not be a wardrobe
choice for a week at least. I grab a gray pair of basketball shorts
that actually fit me, and slide them on easily and without
fuss.

My next stop is the store so I can replace
my cell phone before I head to Mom’s place. Thankfully, there is a
small electronics store in the same plaza as the hardware store I
live above so the walk is minimal. Unfortunately, the lady at the
counter doesn’t appear to be a people person. She appears annoyed
at best with her thin lips pressed into an overly exaggerated
frown. I buy a new phone easily enough, and she manages to keep me
from needing to change my number as well. I thank her, and walk
away feeling her irritated gaze follow me until I’m out of the
shop.

By the time I’ve wrapped everything up and
I’m heading to Mom’s, I am completely drained. I need another joint
and a nap, but I know I need to check on her first, so those two
things will have to wait. I don’t smoke anything more than tobacco
in front of my mother. I know she wouldn’t appreciate me acting so
much like my old man. As soon as I reach the beach I slip off my
sandals, and the sand slipping beneath my toes has the most
relaxing effect on me. I sigh contently to myself before I continue
walking through the warm grains. Even if I didn’t have Mom to care
for, I would never leave this beach.

It takes less than ten minutes to reach
Mom’s house, and as soon as I arrive at the small plank board house
I take the steps two at a time. The first thing I notice is Mom’s
front door is open. Mom hates when the door is left like this.
She’s always been afraid of bugs, and even this slight hint at a
possible entrance for them sends her into a fit. I’ll have to talk
to June about this.

The door squeaks open as I step inside
before it swings shut behind me. The lights are on, but nobody is
in the living room or the open kitchen. I walk down the small
hallway and into Mom’s room. She is asleep in bed. I think about
just turning around and leaving, but I don’t know when I will get
the chance to stop by again. It could be days.

I pace over, drop into the wicker chair next
to her bed, and run my fingers over her cheek until her eyes peek
open at me. She looks sicker today than the last time I saw her.
The worrier in me is now front and center. I can never be too
careful when it comes to my mother’s health. I’ll need to call her
doctor as soon as I step out of the room.

“Hey, Mama. Did you miss me?” I smile softly
with a wink, but her face stays just as neutral as it always is.
“Troy and Kaci are going to stop by soon. That will be fun, right?”
I sigh as I play with the loose strands of her brown hair. I let
them slip through my fingers gently before re-looping them to do it
again. “So there’s this girl.”

I blink my eyes up to my mother as I let my
words sink in. Not just for her, but for me as well. I hadn’t
expected to have this conversation with her, but since I’ve already
opened my mouth, I might as well get it out there.

“She’s beautiful.” I hold Mom’s gaze as I
tell her all about the girl that I don’t really know, but who’s
starting to turn my world upside down. “I don’t really know her
that well.” I admit. “I met her at a party, but don’t worry, she’s
not that kind of girl. In fact she’s made it very clear nothing
like that is likely to ever happen.” I smile. For a second, I want
to believe I see a little relief flicker in her eyes, maybe a small
smile touching her lips as well.

“I did convince her to hang out with me
though. One step at a time, right Mama?” I lean over pressing my
lips to her forehead. When I sit back, I swear there is a tiny
spark of happiness in her eyes. “If it comes to anything, I’ll
bring her by to meet you.”
Shit.
I never bring girls to meet
my mother. I never talk about girls with my mother either, though.
What is this girl doing to me?

I run my fingers across her cheek again
before I stand. “I love you, Mama. I promise I’ll stop by again
soon. Why don’t you finish your nap?”

As if she understands exactly what I’m
saying, and I hope she does, her eyes slide closed and a soft sound
of contentment fills the room. I close the door behind me as I step
out of the room. When I turn around to leave, I practically fall
into June.
Had she been listening the whole time?
That might
not be such a bad thing. It might keep her from trying so hard.

I glance down to look in her eyes. Judging
by the heat I see in them, there is no way she heard me gushing
over another woman.
Well, damn.
Her hands are resting on my
chest, and we are standing so close I can feel the heat radiating
off her body. I know if it weren’t for Raven, I would fuck her
right this second, but even though there is nothing real between me
and Raven, yet. I just can’t.

It’s only as she shifts closer that I
realize my hands are on her hips, not squeezing, but just resting
there from my stumble into her. I move them away as soon as I
realize I’m touching her, but she just smiles at me.

“What happened to your leg? Do you need me
to look at it?”

I shake my head while mentally cursing
myself for not thinking about the bandage and the fact that June is
a nurse. “It’s fine, already been looked at. Make sure you close
the front door. Mom doesn’t like bugs.” I keep my eyes on hers, and
my hands to myself, but she doesn’t back down.

Her hands begin a leisurely caress across my
chest. They dip to the waist of my shorts before making their way
back up again. “I’m sorry. It was just so hot in here, and she was
sleeping.”

I nod while pulling in a deep breath. She’s
trying to break me, and I’m terrified it might be working. “Yeah,
okay. Just make sure no bugs get in, and that she doesn’t see
it.”

She smiles brightly up at me as she steps
impossibly closer. Now her tits are pressing against my chest, and
my dick is defiantly taking notice. It feels good, too fucking
good. I put my hands back on her hips before I remember what a
horribly bad idea this is. Reflexively, I lean down, letting my
lips hover just above hers. Thankfully, before I did something I
would immediately regret, my cell phone blares to life in my
pocket.
Saved by the fucking ringtone!