Each Time We Love (46 page)

All through that seemingly endless night, Adam had sat at
Savanna's bedside, sometimes wiping her brow with a damp cloth, other
times just helplessly holding her limp hand, willing her to wake and
look at him. He had thought a lot about the baby during those long,
black, lonely hours, and the heaviness in his spirit had grown. The
baby hadn't even been real to him until last night, it had merely been
the means to make Savanna marry him, but the knowledge that the child
was dead had made him feel as if his living heart had been ripped out
of his chest. It hurt him deeply to know that there was nothing he
could do, nothing he could do for either his lost child or Savanna, but
wait here and pray that when morning came, Savanna would indeed wake.
He had been in the other roon ordering a pot of coffee when Savanna had
awakened, and upon returning to the bedchamber, he had heard her soft
sob.

That sound had rent his very heart and as he gathered her
closer, he kissed her cheek and murmured, "Don't talk now, darling. The
physician said you were to rest."

"But how can I rest if my mind is going to be full of
questions?" Savanna asked softly. "Please, Adam, tell me what happened."

Reluctantly he told her what he knew: she and Betsey Asher had
been on their way for some lemonade, and she had somehow missed her
step and fallen down the stairs.

Looking down into her pale face, he inquired gently, "Do you
remember any of it?"

Savanna shook her head, wincing as her bruised muscles
protested. "Only that we were going for the lemonade and that I was
standing at the top of the stairs… after that it is all a total blank,
until I woke up here."

"The physician believes that you might have suffered a
fainting spell and that's what caused you to fall. It sounds
reasonable. Betsey says that one minute you were there at the top of
the stairs and the next you were tumbling downward."

"Oh," Savanna said blankly, something niggling at the back of
her mind. She frowned. She had never fainted before in her life, and
somehow that explanation didn't satisfy her. There was something…

"About the baby," Adam began tentatively. "Do you want to talk
about it?"

A
smothered sob came from her and she
nodded. "I wanted it, Adam. Despite everything."

"I know, sweetheart," he replied softly. "I know. I did, too."

There was silence between them for a long time, each lost in
their thoughts about the child who had died, but eventually they began
to talk of their loss, sharing the sorrow only those who have suffered
the same devastating experience can understand.

Adam watched Savanna's expressive features closely, and after
the first outpouring of grief had subsided and he saw that she was
tiring, he carefully guided the conversation away from the child and
convinced her to rest. She slept nearly the entire day, waking in the
early evening to the aroma of chicken soup and freshly baked bread.

She lay there for a moment, her first waking thoughts of the
child she had lost. Her eyes clouded and she knew that the pain would
never truly go away. It might lessen, but the memory would always be
there within her.

With an effort she tore her melancholy thoughts away from the
loss and tried to concentrate on more practical things. To her
surprise, she discovered she was ravenously hungry and she started to
sit up, only to give a soft moan as wrenched muscles made themselves
felt.

Once again the bed-curtains were jerked aside and Adam stared
in at her. He looked much better this time, his jaw clean-shaven and a
warm expression glinting in those sapphire-blue eyes. Sending her a
smile that turned her heart right over in her breast, he murmured, "I
thought the smell of food would waken you! How are you feeling? Well
enough to eat?"

Savanna nodded, and felt much improved after she had hungrily
consumed two bowls of the soup and half a loaf of
still-warm-from-the-oven bread. When Adam tenderly escorted her back to
the bed, she eyed it with loathing. With a look of entreaty at him, she
said, "Please! I am not an invalid!
Must
I go
back to bed? I'm sure I would feel much better if I could change my
clothes and sit up for a while."

Adam eyed her keenly. Her color was good and she did not seem
unsteady on her feet. He shrugged. "I don't think there can be any
objection to your resting on the sofa in the other room."

Shortly thereafter, feeling refreshed from the sponge bath she
had taken, with her hair falling in a glorious red-gold cloud about her
shoulders and wearing one of the becoming gowns that had arrived from
Madame Galland's, Savanna was regally ensconced in the sitting room,
pillows behind her back and a soft blanket across her lap. She wasn't
about to admit it, but the effort had tired her slightly and she was
very glad to do nothing more than sink down onto the sofa and allow
Adam to drape a lovely paisley shawl, also from Madame Galland's,
around her shoulders. Having seen to all her needs, he took a seat in a
high-backed chair directly across from her.

There was an awkward silence between them and Savanna's
fingers nervously plucked at the gown of delicate fawn cambric that she
was wearing. With nothing better to talk about, she said softly, "Thank
you for the beautiful clothes. There seem so many of them! I can't
imagine that I shall be able to wear them all!"

There were many other things that Adam would have preferred to
talk about, but if she wanted to exchange polite nonsense, he could see
no harm in it. A sardonic smile on his lips, he replied, "You're
welcome. As for not being able to wear all of them— believe me, from
what I know of your sex, before very long you shall be telling me that
you haven't a thing to wear and that we must repair immediately to
Madame Galland's in order for you to select some other outrageous,
expensive bit of feminine apparel!"

At the stricken expression that crossed Savanna's face, Adam
could have torn out his tongue. Flying from his chair, he knelt beside
her, one knee on the floor, and grasping her hand, he said urgently,
"Oh, sweetheart! Don't look so! I only meant to tease you!"

Her face averted, in a constricted tone Savanna mumbled, "If
you are so ashamed of me and my clothes, I don't see why you went ahead
and married me!"

A ludicrous expression on his handsome features, Adam stared
at her. "Ashamed of you?" he exclaimed in shocked, angry accents. "Good
God! How could you think I am ashamed of you?"

Savanna risked a glance at him. He looked totally at sea. Just
as if he had no idea what she was talking about. Baffled, she stared at
him. "But that's why you took me to Madame Galland's, isn't it?" she
demanded huskily. "Because you were ashamed of my old gowns and didn't
want to be seen in public with me?"

"Of all the nonsensical notions!" Adam growled disgustedly.
Springing up to sit on the sofa beside her, he took both of her hands
in his. "Sweetheart," he began passionately, "the only reason I took
you to Madame Galland's is because I thought you would
like
some new gowns! Not to wrap it up in clean linen—I'm a rich man and it
gave me pleasure to buy things for you. It had nothing to do with being
ashamed of you! Good Lord! What sort of coxcomb do you take me for?"
His blue eyes almost black with emotion, he said deliberately, "You are
the most exciting woman I have ever met, whether you are garbed in that
frightful brown, er, frock you wore when we first met or wearing the
most fashionable clothes money can buy. Wear what you damn well please!
It makes no difference to me!"

There was such vehement sincerity in his words, such
heartwarming candor in his eyes, that Savanna had no choice but to
believe him… and to feel slightly foolish for having doubted his
motives. Her cheeks flushed, she lowered her eyes to their clasped
hands and muttered, "I'm sorry! I should have realized that!" She
swallowed and met his gaze. "I apologize."

"Well, I should hope so!" Adam returned smartly, a teasing
twinkle in the depths of his eyes. As he stared intently at her, the
twinkle faded and he said softly, "You can't have thought I was ashamed
of you, sweetheart! You silly goose! Whatever gave you that idea?"

Her cheeks blazing with embarrassment, Savanna wanted to look
anywhere but into those mesmerizing sapphire-blue eyes. Nervously she
cleared her throat and confessed, "When we met your friends, the
Ashers, you seemed in a hurry to get away from them—as if you didn't
really want to introduce me to them."

"I didn't," Adam admitted frankly, and when Savanna's outraged
gaze swung back to him, he smiled. "But not because I was ashamed of
you!" A scowl darkened his brow and his mouth twisted wryly.
"Sweetheart, it wasn't
you
I was ashamed of, but
that I found myself in an, er, embarrassing situation. I was once, er—"
Adam stopped, and to Savanna's astonishment, she distinctly saw a flush
mount his lean cheeks. Adam, that cool, uncaring sophisticate, actually
blushed. "You see," he finally said lamely, "I was once, ah,
friendly
with Miss Asher— before I ever knew you!"

"Oh," said Savanna hollowly, her aquamarine gaze fixed
accusingly on her husband.

"Savanna! I didn't even know you existed. Surely you cannot
hold past peccadilloes against me?"

"Probably not," she admitted primly, "but it does explain a
lot." She frowned. "Except her excessive friendliness with me. I'd want
to scratch her eyes out if our situations were reversed!"

Adam grinned with such masculine satisfaction that Savanna
wished the floor would open up and swallow her. The heat in her cheeks
became an inferno, but lifting her chin pugnaciously, she said with
suspect airiness, "Of course, that's only the way I would feel if we
had married under
normal
circumstances!"

"Oh, absolutely!" Adam returned, an unholy gleam of amusement
dancing in his eyes, his heart rejoicing at this first sign that
Savanna cared for him. "Only under normal circumstances, of course!"

Savanna sent him a quelling look. "Are you teasing me?"

Adam flashed her one of those knee-weakening smiles and slowly
pulled her toward him. "Definitely! But I'd much rather kiss you!" And
suiting words to action, he pressed his warm mouth to hers.

It was a tender kiss, a wealth of never-spoken emotion behind
it, and Savanna's defenses crumbled, her arms creeping around his neck.
He kissed her for a long, dreamy time, his firm lips moving in gentle
eroticism against hers, but never plunging them into wild passion.

When his head finally lifted, Savanna was still flushed, but
for far different reasons, and there was a soft, bemused expression on
her features. His hands cupped her face and locking his gaze with hers,
he said clearly, "I could
never
be ashamed of
you! You are my wife! And if there is any shame between us, it is
because I did not come to you as innocent as you came to me. And if I
hurried you away from the Ashers, it was more because they are not very
nice people and because I did not like the notion of my wife consorting
with a former mistress than because of any shame for having married
you." He stared at her keenly. "Understand?"

Dazedly Savanna nodded, her heart suddenly light and filled
with hope. He had not said the words aloud she yearned to hear, but she
would have had to be a silly goose indeed not to have concluded that
his emotions for her ran very deep. She smiled at him, a dazzling smile
of such warmth and brilliance that Adam nearly blinked at the sheer
wonder of it. "I
am
a silly goose!" she admitted.
"I should have known better."

Adam knew he was grinning idiotically, but he suddenly felt
drunk, and striving to regain command of the situation, he said
gruffly, "Yes, you should! And because you must be punished for
thinking so ill of me, I shall insist that Madame Galland come to call
here at the hotel and you shall be forced to select at least three more
gowns!" An enchanting gurgle of laughter came from Savanna, and Adam
tried to look stern. "Now, don't trifle with me! Or you'll see what a
really clutch-fisted husband you've married—I'll increase the number to
five!"

They sat there on the sofa grinning at each other, but as the
minutes passed, their amusement fled. His face suddenly intent, Adam
leaned forward and with fingers that trembled slightly he touched her
cheek. "Oh, Savanna," he breathed passionately, "I do lov—!"

There was a sharp rap on the door, which shattered the mood
and interrupted Adam's words. A vexed expression on his face, he sprang
up from the sofa, smothered a curse under his breath and walked to the
door.

Flinging open the door, he didn't change his expression; if
anything, it increased. And as soon as Savanna recognized the voice of
their unexpected and decidedly unwanted visitor, she knew the reason
for his darkening scowl.

"Oh, Adam! I just
had
to see you before
we leave," Betsey began in a breathless tone. "Charles just insists
that we leave tomorrow morning and this is the only moment I shall have
to see you." Peeping up at Adam's unrelenting expression, she asked
concernedly, "How is Savanna? Has there been any improvement?"

"See for yourself," Adam said ungraciously, reluctantly
allowing Betsey to enter the room.

If Betsey was disappointed to see Savanna sitting up and
looking, if not in blooming health, certainly enchantingly attractive,
with her aquamarine eyes appearing enormous in her pale face, the fiery
glow of her hair intensifying the alabaster purity of her skin, no sign
of this showed outwardly. There wasn't even a sign of the trepidation
Betsey must have felt, wondering if Savanna had remembered her part in
the fall. Rushing to Savanna's side, she gushed, "Oh, my dear! How well
you look! My goodness, but you gave me
such
a
scare yesterday! I swear I didn't sleep a wink last night worrying
about you!"