Eagle River (14 page)

Still holding his forehead, he focused, on recollecting the events of the previous night.
Kjersten.
He focused.
Oh, God, no.
He groaned, completely mortified; he’d been a total idiot in front of her again, in fact, in front of the whole town, and the worst part about the whole thing was that he could remember almost all of it.

He rose heavily to his feet and stumbled to his bedroom. Slowly, awkwardly, he stripped and kicked the offending garments into a far corner, pulled some old, soft sweats out of a drawer and put them on. The material was comforting, warm, and fresh smelling next to his skin. It was a start to feeling almost human.

Next, he dragged himself in the direction of the kitchen. He was dehydrated, downright parched. He needed a glass of water, some aspirin, and then some sleep.
I acted like a jerk. Think. Think of what to do. How can I make up for how I acted? For what I said?
He groaned as he made his way down the hall. He could see that a light was already on in the kitchen.

He staggered his way in to find a surprisingly clear-eyed Jim Odgers already seated at the kitchen table. Surprisingly, he had a big mug of coffee on the table in front of him.

It hurts to think
. Galen staggered over to the fridge. “Hi Pop.”
Something to drink. Kjersten.

“You’re up early,” Jim muttered.

“Did you go to bed last night?” Galen asked. He was very familiar with his father’s Canadian Windsor habit.

Jim shook his head. “Doesn’t look like you did much sleeping either,” Jim said. “There’s hot coffee in the pot.”

“You make it?” Galen glanced over in surprise. His father never bothered himself to do much these days.

“I use it as a chaser for the Windsor.”

He shook his head, but coffee sounded good so he went and got a mug from a cabinet. He poured himself cup of thick, black coffee.

“Thanks, Pop.” He kept his eyes down.
I’m not up for any father-son bonding, and I really don’t want to talk.

“Rough night?” Jim questioned.

Galen grunted, not quite sure how to handle this midnight interview with his usually taciturn father.

“Been there myself once or twice.”

Galen had to fight to keep from snorting at the blatant understatement.

“I been meanin’ to talk to you, Galen. You know of all you kids, you were the one that bugged me the most. I never did like your looks. You were always kind of spooky, all quiet and big eyed, watching me. But I want you to know...” The older man paused, then continued, “I think you’re gonna do all right with your football. It’s a crime that a man can make a fortune playin’ a game when a man can’t hardly make a decent living farming no more, but that’s how the world is. Like that Tom Murphy. He’s a worthless piece of crap. Never did a full day’s work in his life.”

Galen sat stunned by chattiness of a man who, for most of his life, barely managed to be civil.

“You listenin’, boy?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Your mom spoiled you. I always told her that but she wouldn’t hear it.” For a moment, it appeared that Jim was lost in memories.

Galen just waited, cradling the mug in his hands, shivering with the after effects of his night of overindulgence.

“You’re looking rough.” Jim chuckled. “Never did have much respect for a man that couldn’t handle his booze or fists. You still ain’t much of a man, despite being a fancy football player and all.”

Galen allowed the cruel remark to wash right over him. It was a skill that he had relied on throughout his childhood.

“Pop, I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Slow down, slow down. I got somethin’ I’ve been wanting to say to you. I know you don’t have much respect for me. You think I’m a drunk, which I am, that I’ve been worthless since the accident, which is also true. I’ve been a shitty father. I’ll admit it. Don’t try to bullshit me. I know what you and your brother and sister think... Did Sandra tell you that she’s been taking me to a doctor? Yeah, I’ve been seeing a shrink. The doc told me that I have depression problems, manic depression. That jerk is making a hundred bucks an hour to tell me something that I’ve known for years, that I’m blue, sometimes for no reason at all, and that’s why I drink. The drinking dulls things when they seem too bad. I think it’s because my brain doesn’t work right that I didn’t know that I had it good for a while, what with your mom and Kyle and Sandra. Then, after the accident, my brain worked even worse.”

“You don’t need to tell me any of this, and I don’t really want to hear it.”

“Listen up. I’m not making excuses. I made my choices, but now I want to set things straight, have my say. The doc has me on some pills, but the liver is shot and so are the lungs. I’m not gonna live much longer and I can’t change what’s past. But I do want to take care of some business.”

Galen rose abruptly, knocking his chair over as he did so. His hangover had eroded even the little pity that he felt for this man. “You’ve never had anything worthwhile to say to me before. Let’s not waste each other’s time now.”

“Sit down and shut up. You’re gonna hear what I gotta say.” Jim slammed his fist down on the kitchen table. The rheumy eyes were firm and unyielding in the wrinkled and sun damaged face. The thin, proud features from which the skin hung limply suddenly revealed their resemblance to Kyle’s. “I know I ain’t done right by you kids.”

Because of the uncharacteristic quiver in his father’s voice, Galen sat reluctantly back down.

“Your mama was fourteen years younger than me and so pretty and alive. I still don’t know why she married me. Jess thought I was something fine at first, because I’d served in the military overseas. We were married real fast, before she figured out that I was just a farmer and an ornery cuss at that. I knew better, but I let her anyway. Then, when things got bad for me, well she stuck by me for as long as she could. You know your mother was like that, always taking care of sick or weak animals. You remember that damned three-legged cat? It followed her everywhere. Your mom was wrecked when I drove over it.”

“That cat always slept under the trunk. You just were too drunk that night to remember to check.”

“Don’t interrupt me, boy. I was just like that cat, worthless. You know your mom and I had split up before you were born? We were heading for divorce, then I had that accident.”

“When you nearly killed yourself.”

“You know the story. She took me back and took care of me.” Jim’s voice was matter of fact. “But things were over between us after that... Sometimes I think I should have died in that accident. You all would have been better off without me. I know Jess would have been. I always thought that when we were split up, there was another man, someone she never got over.”

“We all turned out fine.”
No thanks to you. I am so done with this conversation.

“I’m not done. Just wait.”

“What are you getting at?” Galen felt the hair at the back of his neck rise up. “What is this really about, Dad?”

Jim leaned forward and grabbed Galen’s wrist. “We’ve never liked each other much. You were always a mama’s boy, and close to that damn football coach who was always sniffing’ around after your mother. They thought I didn’t know, but I did. But there was no point in bringing it up when she took me back. I wasn’t in any condition to.”

Galen pulled his arm away and leaned back from his father, trying to avoid the spittle shooting out of the man’s mouth

“You and your mama are both the same,” Jim’s tone was bitter. “She thought that I was blind and deaf, too. But I knew about it all along. There are no secrets in this family that I don’t know. You think you’re so smart. You don’t know nothing. But I know! I know!” This final exclamation was punctuated with an outburst of shrill laughter that dissolved into a hacking cough. “I may already be dead to you all, but me and this farm, we’re still here. That’s not going to change no matter what Kyle thinks. He’s just like his mother, too, with his plans and his secrets. But I know. I know!”

Galen stared at Jim despairingly.
The old man’s gone, lost in the hateful, tormented world of his own mind.
This strange conversation had just come to an abrupt end. “Night, Pop. Thanks for the coffee.” He rose to his feet.

Jim Odgers merely grunted in response, lost in his own thoughts.

As for Galen, he slowly made his way back down the hall to his bedroom.
What a fiasco.
He shook his head.
Pop’s mind is gone. Who knows how long he’ll be able to live out here with Kyle out working all day? He’s just not well in the head anymore. Crazy.

Upon reaching his room, he lay back down.
Should I call Kjersten and apologize? But it’s already so late
, he rationalized. He didn’t want to disturb the entire Solheim house.
Calling her now will just make a bad situation worse.

Chapter Nineteen

An Unexpected Phone Call

~ Galen ~

That night slipped by, and so did the following morning, and the right moment to call Kjersten never came. Then, it just felt too late.
What can I say? That I was in idiot... She knows that already.

Galen returned to school after the weekend a more somber, serious young man. One afternoon, he was listening to a melancholy love song on the radio when, suddenly, the music was cut off.

“Hey, What’ya doin’?”

“Can’t stand that country shit,” Marvin scowled. “It ain’t got no beat. All it is is whining. ‘My wife left with my best friend. My truck broke down. My dog ran off, so I’ll just ride my horse.’” He had a smooth tenor and he did a slick job of mimicking the typical country western twang. He shook his head in disgust. Then, tuned the radio in to some rap.

“Not rap. I just don’t get rap,” Galen groaned.

“It’s about attitude and you gotta get yourself some. What’re you doing up here in the middle of the afternoon?”

“I gotta get this paper done.”

“It’s Sunday.”

“Yeah, and it was due on Thursday.”

Marvin eyed his friend. “You been blue for a long time, man. What’s been up with you?”

“I just wish that...” Galen muttered and then his voice trailed off.

“What?”

“This weekend, the whole campus is a ghost town. Everyone is going home.”

“But not us,” Marvin commented as he lay down on his bed tucking his arms behind his head. “Chantelle’s coming down to spend it with me.”

“Guess that means I’m on the couch in the lounge.”

“Do you mind?” Marvin questioned.

“Nah.” He paused for a moment. “You’re a lucky man. She’s a cool girl, and hot, too.”

“She is fine,” Marvin agreed with relish. “But don’t you go getting ideas.”

“Of course not. I thought that I had something special with someone once,” he sort of stumbled over the words. “But I messed it up, and then she moved on.”

“You’ll find a special gal someday. You just gotta get out more.”

Galen shook his head in response. “That’s low yield.”

“No, I’m serious. A special lady isn’t gonna come hunt you down. You gotta go out and find her. It’s not like chicks don’t dig you. You just gotta sift through them a little bit. I’ve seen what happens with you. You go out with a chick a few times, maybe mess around a little bit, then you decide that something is wrong with her. You don’t give anyone a chance. Every time you meet a girl, it’s like you’ve already decided that it’s not going to work out. That’s no good.”

“Yeah, I know,” Galen responded. “But I blew it with the one I wanted.”

“You need a lady,” Marvin repeated. “My momma would say it’s all about balance. You need more balance in your life. It can’t all be football and school.”

“I suck at balance,” he countered. “I also suck at relationships.”

“And dancing. You definitely suck at dancing.”

“Hey,” Galen protested, throwing a pillow at Marvin.

“By the way, you get your message on the machine?”

“Nope, didn’t check it.”

Marvin tapped the machine.

Tom Murray’s familiar tones filled the air. “Galen. Big news! I’m getting married and Maggie wants to have a big, old fashioned wedding. It would mean a lot to me if you could come and be one of my groomsmen. It’ll be in May, six months from now. Give me a call.”

“I can’t believe it.” Galen gaped.

“Who’s that?”

“My high school coach. The one who played pro-ball, Tom Murray. I’m surprised he’s getting married. He seemed like the confirmed bachelor type to me. He was always dating some lady, but rumor had it that he was mourning some long lost love.”

“Kind of like you,” Marvin observed.

Galen thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. And now he’s getting married.”

“You gonna go?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”
Would Kjersten be at the wedding?
He was afraid to hope, afraid of being disappointed.
This time, I’m going to speak with her, make it right. Who knows if there ever will be another next time?