Eagle's Destiny (24 page)

“What?”  I questioned.  “Tammy can I come in, I’m not feeling very
well.” 
She
moved from the door and followed me into the kitchen.  She poured me a glass of water while I sat at the kitchen table.  “Kevin talked to Michael?”

“Yeah, I didn’t hear the entire conversation, but he told Dad that the two of you spent the night together last night and decided to get back together again.  He said that he was looking forward to being our neighbor.”  Tammy paused, looked down at her hands, and then back up at me.  Her eyes looked hurt and betrayed.  “I can’t believe you would hurt
my d
ad like this.”

I tried to take her hands but she pulled away from me.  The tension between us was thick. 

“Tammy, whatever Kevin told your dad, it was a lie.  I am not getting back together with my ex-husband.  I did not spend the night with him.  Well, he did stay in the house, but that is all.  Your dad knew he was staying at my house, because I called him last night.”  I shook my head and covered my face with my hands.  My head started throbbing now and it was making me nauseous.  “I’ve got to go home and try to reach your dad to clear up this mess.  Are you still coming over for pizza tonight?”

She looked at me, trying to see the truth in my eyes, and I do not know what my eyes showed.  “Do you still want me to come over?  I mean now that you’re back with your ex-husband.  Will he be back tonight?”

I closed my eyes and sighed.  “Yes Tammy I want you to come over tonight.  Kevin will not be there, he will never be there again.  We are not getting back together.  Kevin was lying.  I don’t know why?”  Well I actually did, but that was a more complicated explanation than I could handle now.

My head was pounding when I walked into my kitchen.  I took two aspirin first, and then picked up the phone.  I dialed Michael’s cell phone, and it rang and then went to voice mail.  I wanted to talk to him not to the voice mail, but I had no choice. 

“Michael, it is Elizabeth, please call me back I need to talk to you.”

That was the best I would be able to do for now.  I stripped the sheets in both rooms.  I wanted to burn the sheets but my practicality got the better of me.  I washed the sheets in hot water.  Twice.  Then I took a shower, as hot as I could take it.  My headache had lessened but it was not gone completely.  I remade my bed and put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.  I looked at my cell phone.  Damn!  How had I missed the call?

The voicemail was from Michael.  It simply said that we would talk when he got back from his trip.  Had he forgotten that when he got back I would be gone for two weeks?  I called his cell phone again.  The voicemail picked up immediately which meant his phone was off. 

“Michael, we really need to talk.  Tammy told me what Kevin had told you. 
He
lied to you.  We are not getting back together.  Please call me back I need to speak with you.”

I lay down to take a nap.  My head started to hurt again and I did not feel like doing anything else.  When I awoke, the headache was gone and I felt better.  I was hungry too, which was always a good sign.  I checked my cell phone, and again there was another message.  How was I missing these calls? 

I listened to the message and it made me angry.  Michael
again
said that we could talk about our relationship when he got home.  I called his phone again, and the phone rang four times before it went to voice mail.  Was he screening my calls?  I could feel the irritation build in me.

“Michael, this is Elizabeth.  Since it appears you really don’t want to talk to me,” I ignored the fact that he had been returning my calls and that my phone had gone to voice mail too.  “We won’t have the opportunity to see each other face to face for another 3 weeks to discuss our relationship.”  The way I said relationship it sounded as if there were quotation marks around the word.  “What really gets me though is your jump to believe Kevin without bothering to talk to me first.  So maybe we don’t really have a relationship,” again with the quote marks inference, “to talk about.  Furthermore, perhaps our intimacy was a mistake since we don’t have a relationship.”

I ended the call and turned the phone off.  I was not prepared to talk to him but wanted to get the last word.  I was like that when I was angry.

The television would keep me company.  After I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I plopped down in front of the television with the dogs.  Both dogs helped me by eating the crusts and I ate the soft interior.  We watched a romantic movie on one of the women’s channels.

I felt like crying, but the tears would not come.  I was fuming at both Michael and Kevin.  This morning had been more than Kevin had ever done to me.  His sex play had always been rough which I had never enjoyed, but this morning there was a mean nastiness that was frightening.  He had used the violence to excite himself.  Had I not used the dad card
,
Kevin
would have forced sex on me.  My father scared him.  I am sure somewhere along the line my dad had a talk with him because Kevin had always cut a wide circle around him.  What had Kevin said to Michael that made him so angry?  It made me sad that Michael had believed him.

It was late in the afternoon and the ringing phone made me jump.  I heard Michael’s voice on the machine, “Elizabeth
it’s Michael.  Please pick up the phone.  I know you’re home.”  I frowned, so much for screening my calls.  Tammy had probably told him I was home.  I picked up the receiver on the table next to the couch.

“Michael?”  I answered, not sure of my own voice.  My body began to tremble.

“Elizabeth, I tried reaching you on your cell phone, you must have it turned off because it is going straight to voice mail.”

I was so happy to hear his voice.  His voice sounded only tired, not angry, as I had feared.  “Oh Michael…”  I trailed off because the tears started coming down my face.  “It was awful, really awful, and then when Tammy told me that Kevin had spoken to you, he lied to you…”  I stopped short again, because I could not talk and cry at the same time.

“Babe, what’s wrong.  Elizabeth, tell me what happened.”  The concern in his voice took over the tiredness.

“Michael,” I snuffled, but the tears were continuing to stream down my face, “tell me you’re not mad at me.”

“Babe, I’m not mad at you.  Elizabeth, you’re worrying me, can you stop crying to tell me what happened?”

I wiped my eyes and blew my nose on my t-shirt.  I started to explain what had happened with Kevin this morning and stopped short of finishing the story when Michael interrupted me.  “Oh shit Elizabeth, did he rape you?”  The anguish in his voice was unmistakable.

I started crying again.  Reliving the episode just brought it back to me in waves.  “No,” my voice shook, “no, he stopped.” 

“Elizabeth, I can rearrange my schedule here.  I’m coming home to be with you.”

“No Michael.  You don’t have to do that.  I’m okay.  I’m just a little shaky.”  I gave
him
the rest of the story including threatening Kevin with my dad.

“Oh, babe, I’m so sorry, when Kevin spoke to me I jumped to the wrong conclusion.  I should have stayed and talked to you first, but damn,” he paused, and then continued softly.  “
He
handed me your panties from yesterday and told me you had sent them over as a souvenir.  I couldn’t believe it.  I just exploded when I saw them.”

“He handed you my panties?  Oh Michael, no wonder you reacted the way you did.  Kevin could not have possibly known what that underwear meant to the two of us.  It was just a lucky chance on his part.”

Michael’s voice became serious, “Are you going to press charges against Kevin?”

I hesitated a moment, “Michael I just can’t.”

“Why not?”  He questioned me.

“Michael, what I said about my father was serious.  My dad would hurt Kevin if he ever found out.  I’m not protecting
him
, but I am protecting my dad.  I don’t think he meant to do what he did to me this morning.  I doubt that he will bother me again.”

Michael sounded unconvinced, “I don’t know after what he pulled with me, I think he’s capable of anything.  At the very least you should get a restraining order against him.”

“I’ll think about it, okay?”  I promised.

“Okay.”  He said.  “I’m sorry Babe.  I should have better control of my
temper.  I was glad I had the plane trip to think things through and I realized what an ass I had been.”

“Michael, are we okay now?”  I asked.

“Do you forgive me?”

“There is nothing to forgive.”  I said softly.  “By the way, what did you do with my underwear?  It is part of a matching set.”

He
laughed, “They were my souvenir weren’t they?  I have them in my carryon bag.”

I exclaimed giggling, “Michael you didn’t?”

It was good to hear him laugh, “I didn’t know what to do with them.  Truthfully, now I’m glad I have them.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, Tammy lent me your new book, I especially like page 75.  I think we should try it.”

“Page 75?”  I hesitated a moment and then giggled, “Oh, page 75.  I don’t really think that’s physically possible, you know, creative license.”

Michael laughed low, “Trust me I’m working it out in my head.”

I was happy we had gotten to the easy part of talking with each other again.  I felt refreshed again and the tension that Kevin had caused was slipping off my shoulders.

“Do me a favor, call Tammy, and let her know we’re okay again.  She gets a bit possessive of her dad, especially when she thought I had hurt you.”

“I will,” he said.  “
Is she
staying with you tonight?”

“Yeah, she should be over in a little while.”

“Thanks for keeping an eye on her for me.  Since Katy is gone, I’m glad she has some company.  It was lucky she didn’t hear the entire conversation I had with Kevin.  Tell me, did he ever hit you, besides today?”

“Yes,” my voice became quiet.  “But, it wasn’t all physical.  Most of it was mental and emotional.”

“I’m sorry Elizabeth,”
he
said softly.

“It’s over Michael.  I need the pain to be behind me so that I can get on with my life.”

“I know.”

As we reached the end of the conversation, I asked, “Call me again tomorrow night, okay?”  I knew my voice sounded hopeful, but I could not contain it.

“I’ll call you every night Babe,” he promised.

When I hung up the phone my heart was lighter, he had left me with a warm, happy feeling.  My problems with Kevin were behind me.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The dogs started barking while I was changing my t-shirt.  Tammy had called and she was on her way over.  When I answered the door, she looked like she was ready for a sleep over.  Both dogs were with her too.  Since she would be caring for Topper and Samantha while I was on the book tour, we wanted all the dogs to be as comfortable as possible with each other.  We put her stuff in the guest room and agreed on the pizza ingredients.  The pizza would be half vegetarian and half meat.

Tammy groaned when I ordered a salad to go with the pizza.  “You’re as bad as my dad making me eat salad!”

I smiled at the comparison liking the compliment.  “Hey, count yourself lucky, I’m letting you drink a cola.  Do you miss Jason yet?”

Tammy frowned and threw herself on the coach
in drama queen fashion
.  “Miss him?  I’ve thought of nothing but him all day long.”  She said with emphasis.  Jason, Don, and Debi had driven down to Palo Alto since he would be starting at Stanford the following Monday.  She frowned again, “He’s not answering any of my text messages either.”  Tammy waved her phone at me.

I handed her the soda and sat down next to her on the coach.  “Give him a chance to get settled, he’ll call you.”

“You think so?”  She smiled brightly at me. 

The smiled reminded me of Michael, her dimples were the same as her dad
’
s.  Just thinking of him made me miss him.  I shook my head silently and wondered if I had a teenage crush like Tammy. 

“I’m sure of it.  It’s not like he’s going to be gone forever, he’ll be home on the weekends.”

“I know,” she answered, “but, it’s not like having him nearby.  Besides, when I go to UC Davis we’ll be on different schedules.  We won’t have any time for each other.”  She drew a heavy sigh.  “Dad told me that if our
relationship can’t stand a little time apart then it’s not a real bond.”

I nodded my head, “You know he’s right.  School will be so exciting for both of you.  You are both taking on big challenges and you’re young, you will change a lot.  Don’t stress out about it now.  Email and cell phones make it much easier to communicate than when I went to school.”

Tammy flashed me a look and then giggled, “Oh yeah, I forgot, you and dad are ancient.  Did they even have phones when you went to school?”

I smacked her with a couch pillow, “Watch it or all the pizza will be mine and I’ll make you eat just the salad!”

“Okay, not fair.”  She giggled.  “So can I ask you something?”  Her faced turned serious and she blushed.”

I smiled, “Ask away.”

“Okay, please don’t think this is stupid, okay?  How old were you the first time you did it?”  She blushed and did not look me straight in the face.

“Did what?”  I asked with puzzlement on my face.  I paused while she pressed her lips together.  “Oh, you mean that!”  I tried not to blush myself when I finally figured out that she was talking about sex.  “You really want to know?”  I knew only two reasons she could want to know, one that she had already slept with Jason, or she was about ready to and wanted to compare her actions with my own.

Tammy nodded her head.  How do I answer this question?  What is the right answer?  My mother always answered me truthfully, so I decided on that tactic. 

“I was eighteen, about the same age as you, but for each person it’s different.”

“Was it what you thought it was going to be?”  Tammy asked.  She was looking down at her hands, again not wanting to look me in the face.

I lifted her head up with my hand and looked her in the eyes.  She had answered my question without having me ask it, she had already slept with Jason. 

“Tammy what are you trying to ask me?”

“Well, were you disappointed by, you know…” she trailed off.  She kept looking at me, her eyes searching mine.

I nodded my head, “Yes, it definitely was not worth all the hype.”  I smiled, “It could have been better if one of us had some experience.  He was my high school sweetheart and we had dated our entire senior year, then shortly before we left for college, we decided to commit to each other.  His parents had gone on a trip and we found ourselves alone in his house.  One thing led to another, it wasn’t something I had planned.  We fumbled and stumbled through it.” 

“What happened to the two of you?” she asked.

I smiled gently, “We both met other people in college and we drifted apart.  I saw him once or twice after that, but I didn’t sleep with him again.”

Tammy did not start crying even though she looked like she was going to burst into tears.  “Jason and I slept together Saturday night while you and dad were with the eagles.”

“And you were disappointed?”  I questioned.

She nodded and again pressed her lips together.  “It was just like you said a little stumbling and fumbling around.  Then all of a sudden it was over, well at least for Jason.”

I slipped my arm around her and she rested her head on my shoulder.  “Are you in love with Jason?”

“Yes, I think so,” she answered.

“Would you understand if I said what happened to me is not necessarily what will happen to you and that it does get better with practice?”

Tammy giggled, “I hope so.  Everyone makes such a big deal about it.”

“When you love someone and want to spend time with them the intimacy that you share becomes very special. 
The
time you are together then becomes wonderful and that leads to a greater fulfillment.”  I explained.  “Give it some time.”

Tammy looked up at me with an uncertain look, “You won’t tell my dad, will you?”

I shook my head and squeezed her, “Absolutely not, you’re an adult, and you’re not doing anything illegal.  It’s none of his business, and it’s just between us girls.  Okay?”

“Thanks Elizabeth.  You are easy to talk to, and I appreciate it.  So do you love my
dad
?”  She asked with a serious look on her face.  Tammy certainly had been listening to me.

A knock on the back door interrupted us.  All four dogs rushed to the door.  For me, it was the proverbial saved by the bell.  The rest of the night we had a real girl’s night, we ate pizza and salad much to the distaste of Tammy.  We laughed and giggled at the chick flick we had on television.  We argued about baseball, it turned out like her dad she was a Giants fan.  Finally, we parted ways to our bedrooms at the end of the evening.

The next morning I could smell baking cinnamon and another sniff told me there was brewing coffee.  It was quite a difference from yesterday morning with Kevin in my bed.  I rolled over and glanced at the clock, I could not believe I had slept so late.  The dogs were not on the bed with me
so
I assumed that Tammy must have let them out. I threw the covers back and got out of bed. 
Slipping
on my robe
, I
poked my head out of the bedroom door. 

“Mmmmm, it certainly smells good out here.”

Tammy peeking her head around the kitchen wall, “Good morning Elizabeth!  I figured the coffee smell would wake you up.  The coffee is done brewing and I just pulled the cinnamon buns out of the oven.  I thought we could use a treat this morning.”

I laughed and joined her in the kitchen, “Where did you find cinnamon in my house?”

Tammy laughed with me, “You had coffee and sugar, which was the total sum of your ingredients.  The rest came from my house.”

“Whew, you had me worried,” I teased her, “I thought if I have spices
,
someone is sneaking stuff into my kitchen.”

“You don’t like to cook?” she asked.

“When I was younger I cooked with my mom and sister, but my sister was much better at it, so I gave up.  I do other things better, probably just like you and your sister.”

“Are you still competitive with you sister?”  Tammy paused cutting the cinnamon rolls to look at me.

I had to think about the question for a moment.  Were we still competitive?  No, not really, but we certainly had some unresolved issues.  It had worked out that I was closer to our mother and she had become closer to our dad.  Mom and I had shared more interests.  Moreover, quite frequently, I had trouble seeing the world from my father’s perspective.  Lisa saw the world more in the black and white of our dad, the world of law enforcement, right and wrong, good and evil.  Even though I did not do anything with my music, as my mother had wanted, she had been proud when I had chosen to write.

Tammy looked at me waiting for an answer.  I looked back her and shook my head, “No, we’re not competitive any longer.  We just chose very different lifestyles.”

Tammy nodded in agreement, “I guess that will happen to Katy and me too.  Everyone thinks we’re a lot alike, but we’re not.  Katy is way too serious, and she doesn’t like to have fun.”

“Katy does like to have fun, but it’s different than the type of fun you like to have.”  I countered with a different viewpoint. 

Reaching
up
, I
retrieved two small plates from the cupboard.  “Coffee is done!”  We put the cinnamon rolls on the plates and carried them to the table with the coffee mugs.  I inhaled the cinnamon bun deeply, “This is too incredible for words, Tammy.  Thank you!”

Tammy beamed, “They are Dad’s favorites too.  He has a big sweet tooth.”

“Does he?”  I asked.

Tammy giggled, “He has to replace meat with something.”

I laughed and nodded my head.  Just the mention of Michael made my heart skip a beat somewhere deep in my chest.  I wondered what he was doing at that moment.  It made me feel good just to think about him.  All of a sudden, I realized that Tammy had been talking to me and I had not heard a word.  I frowned inwardly and chastised myself.  I would need to pay attention and stop being a silly teenager.

Tammy and I enjoyed our day together.  We took my boat out onto the lake.  I worked on my laptop and she read.  It was a relaxing day.  We went to the local diner for dinner.  After dinner, Tammy decided to turn in early.  She had too much fresh air today and had woken very early.  I sat at my desk trying to finish the chapter I was working on earlier.

When the cell phone rang, I almost jumped out of my skin.  I had not been expecting a call tonight and then I remember that Michael would be calling me.  How had I forgotten that?

“Hello?”  I answered quietly.

“Hey Babe, how was your day?”  He asked.

Just the sound of Michael’s voice made me thrill.  My face immediately lit up with a smile.  “Great.  I enjoyed Tammy’s company today.”

Michael chuckled, “She told me she made cinnamon rolls for you, and you didn’t have any of the ingredients in your house.”

“Guilty as charged.”  I said.  “How was your day?  Did you take lots of pictures?”

“Yeah, I’m in picture heaven.  I’m glad I made the second trip down here.  We traveled a little further into the bayou and it certainly has been worth the time.”

“Good, then I’m glad you went.”

“Yeah, but I miss you.”

I giggled, “That’s good too, but it’s only been two days.  I’ll be gone for two weeks when you get home.”

Michael sighed, “That thought is killing me too.  The wife of the biologist I’m working with is a big fan of yours, and she tried to talk me out of the copy of your new book.  But since
it
i
s
Tammy’s book I couldn’t give it away, besides with it I feel like I have you with me.”

“How did you find that out?”  I asked wondering how he would find one of my readers.

“She saw the book in my camera bag and almost came unglued.  When I told her that you were my girlfriend she almost passed out, and told me the book I had
would
n
o
t com
e
out until next Tuesday.”

Hearing his description of me as his girlfriend had my head spinning.  Was that what I was?  I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.  I liked the description a lot.  I tried to even out the tone of my voice, it was difficult because I wanted jump around the room and celebrate. 

“Tell her that I’ll be in New Orleans at the end of next week and if she comes to the book signing, I’ll make sure she gets a special copy from me.”

“You are so sweet Elizabeth, I’ll be sure to let her know.  She is going to be thrilled.”

“I have to take care of the fan base you know.”

“So what are you and Tammy going to do tomorrow?” he asked.

“We are going to visit your grandmother.  It was Tammy’s idea.  She
told me that you go at least once a week and your grandmother would miss you.”  I let Michael know that we had planned on taking Grandmother Helen out to lunch and maybe a movie or shopping.

“Like I said, you’re too sweet.  You know Tammy could go by herself, she has Katy’s car.”

“I know but I want to go.  I’m enjoying Tammy.”  I said.