Earth & Sky (9 page)

Father shook his head.  “And you believed the word of one
of them?  Those monsters?  The ones who killed your mother?”  That stung.

“Not my mother,” I whispered.  I lifted my eyes to meet
his.  “Winona’s right, isn’t she?”

Winona laughed.  “Do you see anything in you that
resembles a queen?  Your mother was a servant.  Hardly better than a human. 
We’ve only cared for you all these years out of pity.”

“Cared for me?”  My voice was bitter.  “You’ve used me as
a whipping boy and your personal slave- a toy to amuse you when you were
bored!”

Father stood.  “It was a mistake,” he said tiredly.  “A
moment of weakness on my part that brought you into this world.”  He sighed. 
“I had hoped you would be of some value to Winona, be a friend to her when she
took on her lonely duties as ruler.”

I put my hands over my face, pushing my fingers into my
eye sockets.  “I’ve been so stupid,” I said from behind my hands.

 I had taken it all, every slight, every challenge-
because deep down inside I believed that they loved me, in their own twisted
way.  That they just didn’t know how to show it.  That they pushed me to be
strong for my own good.  I dropped my hands. 

“It was a lie.  My entire life was a lie.”

Winona laughed, a cruel, tinkling thing like breaking
glass.  “I’ve never thought of you as my sister,” she said with a sneer.  “It
always irritated me that you had the gall to think you could possibly be on the
same level as me.”

I wanted to punch her, wanted to wipe the sneer right off
her face.  But my conditioning was too deep.  I couldn’t lift a finger against
her. 

Father spoke again.  “I think it’s best if you leave,” he
said levelly.  “Go to the village, if you wish, but don’t show yourself here. 
You’ve betrayed your clan, and no one will trust you again.  You’ve failed me
for the last time.”

I shook my head, not believing what I was hearing.

“Go back to where you were meant to be…and Wren,” he said
flatly.  “If you ever use your powers again, if I get one whiff of your
dominance, I’ll kill you myself.”

I turned on a heel and left the room.  I passed Logan in
the hallway.  “Wren, what’s happened?”  His voice was full of concern.  I
pushed past him and clattered up the stairs.

When I reached my room, I bolted the door and stood there,
staring in the mirror, shaking.  I was filthy, covered in dirt and gore.  I
slowly stripped off my clothes, feeling detached and unreal.  The black
feather, dangling from a chain between my breasts, tickled my skin as I moved. 
A choking urge to cry kept creeping up on me, but I shoved it down.  My throat burned
and my chest ached.  I didn’t make a sound, but I couldn’t stop the hot flow
that filled my eyes and spilled over. 

I had endured so much up until now.  I was born a king’s
second daughter.  I lived a charmed life.  I had told myself that any hardship
I endured was simply to be taken in stride- a king’s daughter has no reason for
self-pity.  I looked in the mirror now and saw myself for the first time.  When
did my shoulders become so wide?  When did that defiant look enter my eyes?  I
was soft and weak-hearted.  When had I begun to look so fierce?

For my entire eighteen years, others never saw me.  How
could they when I couldn’t even see myself.  My presence had always been a
thing to those around me- a commodity.  All the kids had to be nice to me,
because I was the king’s daughter- but not too nice, since I was only the
second daughter.  They could take things out on me when no one was looking. 
But they always had to be good to Winona, because one day she would be their
queen.

It was the same with the adults.  I was encouraged to live
up to her shadow- but they always seemed surprised when I succeeded.  It’s
amazing what people will say when they don’t think you can hear them.  It’s
even more amazing what they will say in front of a child when no other adults
are near.  Things like how they should use a younger daughter to climb the
social ladder, for example.

 I remembered, very clearly, playing at a friend’s house. 
I remembered the joy of feeling wanted and liked.  But I heard them- the adults
plotting with the child, encouraging them to be nice to me even though I was so
unlikeable, using me to get to my sister and my father.  Maybe that’s when I
started to frown this way.

No one ever saw me.  They only saw my many uses.  If I
could fight as well as my sister, then I would make a perfect training dummy. 
If I was smart, I could help her with her studies.  If the boys dated me, they
could get to Winona.  If they used me and cast me off, no one would notice. 

I was never good enough, but I couldn’t ever do less than
my best, lest I be chastised for embarrassing my sister and disappointing my
father.  At some point, I had begun to see only ugliness in the mirror.  I
flexed my arm, wondering when I had become so strong and cold.

This thing in the mirror, this strong, hard woman they had
made me into- it wasn’t who I wanted to be.  I was just a tool.  A servant. 
And I had had enough.  Something inside of me snapped. 

I called to my power and shifted.  My wolf didn’t care
about such things.  She only cared about running.  I would run until I couldn’t
feel this pain anymore.  I tore out of my room and down the stairs, letting out
an inhuman howl that could probably be heard in the village below.  I flowed
out of the house, snarling and snapping at anyone unlucky enough to get in my
way. 

I dashed to the meadow, rushing through the wildflowers in
a blur of red and gold.  It was too open there, I felt too exposed.  The cool
embrace of the forest was like a black veil, hiding me from sight.  I thundered
on and on, through miles and miles of forest, my heart feeling as if it would
burst.  I didn’t run in any particular direction, thinking of nothing but the
primal urge to escape.

I
skirted the battlefield and continued through the forest, eeling my way through
the dense underbrush.  It wasn’t hard to find the clearing where we had ported
only this morning.  I could smell him, stronger than anything else, despite the
deep musky scents of night damp earth and leaves, and the cloying scent of
magic used to cleanse the area after the battle. 

My paws were quiet on the soft earth.  I pricked my ears
forward and, hesitant, padded into the clearing.  He was there, a darker shadow
among the rest.  He was leaning against the trunk of a massive oak tree,
waiting.  My night vision made out the glint of his silvery blue eyes, and the
long, lean shape of him.  He was a study in light and dark, dressed in a long,
Japanese style shirt with a silvery background and little black velvet flowers
that glinted with the sheen of silk as he moved.  The sleeveless shirt left his
long, muscular arms exposed, and his pale skin gleamed dully in the dark.  His
long, bare feet poked out from the bottom of his loose, flowing black pants.  A
thin leather strap crossed his chest, and I could just make out the hilt of his
katana over one shoulder.

He crossed the clearing in a flash, crouching down so that
he was at eye level, his glorious wings spread slightly for balance.  “You
came,” he said softly, his deep voice full of happy surprise.  “I didn’t think
you would.”  He stretched out a hand, and I was still as his long, cool fingers
ruffled the fur behind my ear. 

His gaze traveled over my wolf form with curiosity.  “I’ve
never seen a red wolf before,” he said in wonder.  I flattened my ears, unable
to tell him that was because we were hated.

“Has something happened?”  His voice was soft, and full of
concern- my beautiful monster.  I let a small whine escape my throat. 

His hands were still gentling my fur, stroking over my
muzzle and between my shoulder blades.  Under normal circumstances, he would
have lost a limb for treating me like a pet, but my nerves were raw, and my
entire body ached with tension.  His touch was calming, the faint buzz of his
energy a balm. 

“Shift back and tell me what’s wrong.”

I stepped back, away from his hands, a soft, rumbling
growl slipping from me.  He stood, his hands going to the frogs of his shirt. 
“You can wear this,” he said quickly. 

One side of his wide mouth quirked up in a wry smile.  The
shirt came to mid thigh on him, and was split at the sides.  On me, it would
look like a cocktail dress.  I snorted and shook my head.  It didn’t matter.  I
couldn’t shift.

He glanced down at me and stopped undressing.  Under other
circumstances, I would have been disappointed.  As it was, I could only focus
on the constant ebb and flow of pain in my chest.  I tucked my tail and hunched
into myself, fighting to keep a grip on the human portion of my brain.

Ville regarded me for a moment, his eyes sad, as if he
could feel my hurt.  Then he flashed another one of those soft smiles and
gestured at the forest behind him.  “You can stay just as you are.  Will you
come with me?”

I looked back the way I had come, back toward the home
that was no longer a home.  Then I turned and followed the enemy into the
woods.

We walked on in silence for some time; me stuck in wolf
form, and Ville looking awkward with his wings tucked tightly to his back to
avoid catching them on branches and vines.  Our passage startled a big owl from
its perch and it launched its heavy body into flight above us.  I froze at the
movement, abashed when I noticed that Ville hadn’t been surprised.  I wondered
if he shared some connection with the all creatures of the sky.  His gentle
demeanor now was nothing like the fierce warrior from the battlefield.  Maybe this
was what drew Raven and the others to his clan.  Where was the bloodthirsty
monster?

Frogs called in the stillness, and the damp, rich scent of
water filled my senses.  We skirted it for some time, Ville squelching along
the bank with his bare feet like an oversized child.  I hopped from dry spot to
dry spot, feeling some of my tension ease as I watched his antics. 

Finally, we came to the far side of the water.  He paused
to dip his feet in the cold depths, rinsing off the mud.  “Were you punished
for calling a retreat?”  He kept his eyes on the water, and his deep voice held
no clue as to what he was thinking.

    I growled, my hackles rising involuntarily as I
recalled Winona denouncing my parentage.  Ville straightened, and continued on,
ghosting through the thinning trees.  I was so caught up in my thoughts that I
stumbled in surprise when I caught sight of the house, a big, rambling thing
built into the side of a cliff.  “We’ll go in the back door.”  His voice was
confident, as if this were an everyday occurrence.

The stone path leading from the forest to the back
courtyard was illuminated with softly glowing light orbs, set among manicured
shrubs.  I felt a tingle of sky magic, and thought the way must be warded, but
the whatever-it-was let me pass.  My nails clicked over the smooth stone, and I
breathed deep of the cool, flower-scented night air.  The stone path slowly
gave way to an arched entryway, and we entered the main house.  The contrast to
my home- what had been my home- was surreal.  Everything here was soft and
warm, lit by dimly glowing orbs. 

Ville paused in the entryway.  “You can change now,” he
said, watching me.  “You’re safe here.”

I flattened my ears to my head, feeling my tail curve
under wearily.  Ville paced back to me, crouching again.  He held out his
hand.  “May I?”

I ducked my head in acceptance and his long fingers sank
into my thick fur.  He did something, and I felt his magic running over me like
a gentle blue current.  “Something happened,” he said softly.  “You can’t go
back?”

I stared into his blue eyes, wanting to explain, wanting
nothing of the sort, wanting to be a wolf forever. 

“You have a place here with me, if you wish, for as long
as you need.”  A feeling of peace washed over me.  He stopped the magic and
patted me fondly.  “It’s okay.”  Standing, he headed inside, gesturing for me
to follow.  “Come.”

It’s okay? Nothing was okay.  But I reluctantly paced
behind him.  I had nowhere else to go.  And, right now, only he felt safe.

We entered the main house and I took in the dully gleaming
wood and soft, creamy fabrics that adorned every surface.  We crossed into what
seemed to be a small dining room.  I halted in the doorway, immediately on
guard.  A brown-haired Fallen sat at the table, sipping something dark from a
wine glass.  He wore a silk brocade vest and thick black cravat over a glowing
white shirt, looking every bit like a member of nobility.  

“You’re back!”  He grinned at Ville and gestured toward
the decanter on the table.  “Join us.”

Ville smiled at him and nodded to the tall, thin beauty
that drifted into the room.  She was a Fallen as well, with pale blonde hair
and angelic white wings.  The soft soles of her shoes were soundless on the
hardwood as she came and filled a glass for Ville. 

“You shouldn’t wander off at night,” she admonished. 
Then, shooting a glare at the other man, “and you shouldn’t be so amused by his
foolish habits, Marshall.”

Ville took the proffered glass and glanced back my way. 
“Come on,” he said softly, as if he were cajoling a reluctant pet.  I bristled
slightly and he pressed his lips together, clearly trying not to laugh.

“Gods!  Where did you get that thing?”  The brown haired
man came to stand by Ville, regarding me with a kind of wary fascination.

Ville shrugged.  “I found her in the woods.  I think she
was lost.”

The woman shook her head and took a seat at the table,
regarding me with sharp, dark blue eyes.  “It looks like a Shifter.”

Ville laughed.  “It’s only a little wolf,” he said dismissively. 
“If she was a Shifter, she would have changed back to human form by now, right?”