The barrel prodded again and I cocked my head farther to the right. "Time to say good-bye, Miss Yoder."
I prayed. If it was my time to die, so be it. But couldn't I at least skip the falling stage and proceed straight to my assigned cloud? I was already up there, after all.
"Unbuckle your shoulder belt. Now, Miss Yoder."
Believe me, the good Lord does indeed answer prayer in mysterious ways. My mouth, which had always gotten me in trouble, was the instrument He used to get me out of trouble.
"Look, a spider," I screamed and pointed to the opposite side of the cockpit.
The second Gordy's head whipped around, I bit the gun-wielding hand. I don't mean just a timid nibble either, but a Mike Tyson, flesh-tearing chomp. That sucker - the gun, not the hand - fell right into my lap. The rest is history.
-32-
Freni cut another slice of Gladys's tomato brunch cake. I reached for it, but she waved the knife menacingly at me.
"Ach! This is for my Barbara."
Barbara blushed. An attentive mother-in-law was going to take some getting used to.
"What about me," Susannah whined. "I only had one slice."
"Barbara is eating for three."
"Yeah, well, maybe I'm eating for two."
I kicked Susannah under the table. She had better not be eating for two, not unless she was referring to the mangy menace, and if that was the case, she had no business feeding him something as tasty as Gladys's tomato brunch cake.
"So," Barbara said, anxious to move the conversation along, "everything okay now at the PennDutch?"
"Things are peachy-keen," I said. "They all went home yesterday, two days ahead of schedule, which finally gives me some time off."
"And me." Freni was staring at her daughter-in-law, no doubt willing the child within to grow faster.
"A watched pot never boils," I said.
"Ach!"
"Not that anyone cares," Susannah said, still whining, "but I've finally made a decision about Melvin."
I whirled, and then catching myself, smiled slowly. "Really? Do tell."
"He jumps to conclusions more than even you, Mags."
"Ya." Freni nodded vigorously, although her eyes had to still to leave Barbara. "Like with my cousin Alma."
"She isn't your cousin, dear," I said calmly. "You don't have a drop of Native American blood in you. You just happen to be a native of America."
"Yah, whatever. The important thing is that Alma is free now, and that awful Mr. Dolby is behind bar."
"Retired four-star General Gordon Oliver Dolby, and that's thanks to me, not Melvin."
"Imagine him being that scared of a spider!"
"Melvin Stoltzfus is afraid of spider?" Barbara asked. I'm sure she'd heard the whole thing before, and was just being polite. Either that, or she didn't want the subject to return to her pregnancy. She had yet to tell anyone else she was expecting triplets, because she wanted to tell her own mother first, and had been unable to reach her.
Whatever the reason, one should always humor a pregnant woman, so I repeated the story for the millionth time. I'm no t complaining, mind you. It isn't every day I single-handedly apprehend a cold-blooded murderer. And with a gun, yet!
"I still don't see why they couldn't go ahead with the contest," Freni said. She seemed to be blaming me.
"How about plain old common decency? I would have kicked the whole bunch out the morning George Mitchell was murdered, but Melvin asked me to keep the group together as long as possible for the purposes of the investigation."
"Ach, but all that money." No doubt visions of what that much moolah could buy for her grandchild were dancing through her bonneted head.
"Well, it looks like at least one of that group stand to profit."
"Ach, so that child really is Mr. Mitchell's daughter?"
"Erv Stackrumple seems to think so. It remains to be seen, however, if there will be anything left for her to inherit. Apparently George played fast and loose with his assets and the company's."
"Can we get this conversation back to me?" Susannah wailed. "I'm trying to tell you guys that I've got Melvin out of my system for good."
"What?" If true, those words were worth more than one hundred thousand dollars to me.
"Well, I've been married, so I know what that's all about, and I don't want to be tied down, so what's the point?"
"Exactly, dear, what is your point?"
"Well - promise me you wont' get mad, Mags?"
"I don't care, `m going to tell you anyway. I've decided to move to California."
"You what?"
"Well, I met this nice guy from Los Angeles who says- "
"Over my dead body!" I roared. Susannah might be more pain than a toe with an elephant standing on it, but I was going to need her company in the months ahead. Freni was obviously going to be too involved with the babies to pay much attention to me. In a very small way, I could almost understand Mr. Dolby. Not the murder part, I don't mean that.
"I knew you were going to get made!"
"I'm not made, dear," I said calmly, albeit through gritted teeth.
"Yes, you are. You sound just like Shnookums when he growls with his binky in his mouth."
"Don't you ever compare me tot hat pitiful pooch! The truth is, the family needs you. What with Barbara having triplets - oops."
"Triplets?" Freni squawked, and fainted into what was left of the tomato brunch cake.
The End
