Echoes at Dawn (16 page)

It took a moment for her to figure out that the light was coming down from a long tubelike opening in the ceiling of a tunnel.

It was cool and kind of damp, like a cave, and she supposed that was indeed what they were in. Man-made but a cave nonetheless. She shivered, though she wasn’t at all cold, and Rio automatically pulled her in close to his side as if to share his warmth with her.

Men who did those kinds of things for a woman didn’t turn around and shoot them, right? What would he care if she was cold? If she were dead, she’d be plenty cold. She coughed to cover the hysterical laughter that threatened to bubble out. She’d well and truly lost her mind.

Rio wasn’t going to kill her. He’d had ample opportunity. Moreover, it was uncharitable of her to think it, given how good he’d been to her. Hell, he’d risked his life. His team had risked their lives. And here she was being a complete wuss because he was taking her down some dark tunnel God knows how many feet underground.

They continued a ways down until she was certain they were away from the house. She also honed in on the fact that they were gradually working up in elevation.

In the distance a faint noise made her brow wrinkle in concentration. She couldn’t quite make out what it was. It was a dull roar that got a little louder with every step they took.

Then she saw a small sliver of light from behind a boulder. There was a marked difference in the air. Mist. The sound was water. A lot of water.

Rio pulled her toward the light, and she realized it was an opening in the rock, well hidden from view. As she looked out, she saw that they were coming out behind a waterfall.

Transfixed, she followed Rio, her stare riveted to the
beautiful water cascading from the rock above and plummeting to the pool below. They were standing in a large hollow behind the falls, and there was a small footpath leading around the edge and away from the falling water.

“Wow,” she breathed.

Rio smiled and then directed her toward the path. She put her back to the rock and inched her way out so she didn’t get soaked by the spray. Once outside, she gazed around at the tranquil paradise that surrounded them.

“This is amazing!”

“It is, isn’t it? It’s my own private getaway. I come here often when I need to pull myself back together.”

Pull himself together? This was a man who looked permanently cemented together. He wasn’t someone who had so much as a crack, certainly not any she’d seen. He was solid. Dependable. Calculating and…confident. That was the word escaping her. He was confident but not in an arrogant asshole kind of way. He clearly knew he was competent—no, not competent. That made him seem merely adequate. He was certainly beyond simple competency and adequacy. He was…

Her gaze stroked over him, taking in every detail. His demeanor, his silent strength and his composure. There was something magnetizing about him and she couldn’t even put her finger on what made it so.

Her gaze fell to the guns at his sides and then she frowned as she turned in a circle, surveying the jungle canopy that seemed a barrier to the rest of the world. A world that suddenly didn’t seem so idyllic. Not when she knew that evil was out there. Stalking her.

“Are we safe here?”

Rio tugged her farther down the path, spiraling down to the ground level, where the pool rippled and then led out to a small river cutting through the terrain.

“I like to be prepared. The tunnel leads to the back of the waterfall. I’m not saying that the falls and the pool aren’t accessible, but it would be damn hard and I’d certainly know if anyone was near. The jungle is thick here, never
touched. It’s overgrown and surrounds the rock face where the water comes over the edge. It’s not even visible from the air because the canopy is so thick in this area. So are we one hundred percent safe? I’m never that naïve. But I’d say we’re pretty close to ninety-nine.”

She cut a glance at him to see the corner of his mouth twitching. His eyes twinkled and then his smile broadened. She was transfixed by the transformation from the serious, hard-as-nails guy surveying the terrain to the sudden teasing, lighthearted exchange.

He gestured for her. “Come on. I have the perfect place to sit and enjoy the falls.”

She followed him down to the water’s edge and saw that he had a bench fashioned from a tree trunk. It utterly charmed her. She sank down onto the smooth wood and inhaled deeply, soaking in the beauty and peace around her.

He took the seat beside her, their legs nearly touching. For a long moment he stared, as did she, at the spellbinding sight of the water pouring down into the pool.

“I want you to do something for me,” he said.

She glanced over to see him looking at her with those intense, dark eyes, almost like he was peeling back every layer of her soul.

“Close your eyes and focus inwardly. Picture where you’re at. Take a good look but then close your eyes and reach out with your senses. Smell the air. Listen to not only the water but the other sounds around you. Feel the mist on your skin and the warmth of the air.

“Push the pain and the fear and the anxiety out of your mind. Focus on your sister and on that path that you’ve used for so many years. It’s still there, Grace. You just have to find it again.”

Her eyes became gritty and hot. She was tempted to rub them but didn’t want to express more emotion than she already had.

Rio touched her face as if he understood. “I don’t claim to know much about telepathy. Hell, I didn’t even know it existed outside of movies until I met Shea. But I do
understand mind over matter. I understand that to be strong, your mind has to be strong and focused. It has to heal just like your body had to heal. The mind is a very peculiar thing. Your brain has a way of protecting itself and you from complete devastation. You were at your limit, so it shut down as a protective measure. Now you just have to give it time to heal and for those pathways to your sister to reopen.”

“Do you really think it will work?” she whispered, afraid to hope, but already feeling the stirring deep in her heart. That little burst of excitement that she couldn’t control.

Hope was such a gift and a curse all rolled into one.

“There are many who would sneer at things like meditation. But the strongest warrior knows that his body is only as strong as his mind. A physically weaker person can defeat a much stronger opponent if he’s stronger mentally.”

She reached up to tentatively touch his cheek as he’d done with her. “How do you know so much? It makes so much sense when you explain it. I don’t feel so…crazy.”

He smiled. “You aren’t crazy, Grace. You’re just damaged. But you’re a survivor and you’ll get through this.”

She turned to face the falls again, feeling more…confident. A little lighter and, yes, optimistic. When was the last time she’d felt hope?

She gazed around, memorizing every detail of the little slice of heaven, and then she did as Rio had told her and she closed her eyes, channeling all of her focus inward.

“Control your breathing,” he murmured. “In, out, deep. Hold it. Relax and let it out. Focus on each part of your body relaxing and then make it happen.”

His voice dimmed and became distant. She held on to the image of her beautiful surroundings and then she inhaled, sucking in the scent of the water, the plants, even the dirt and then a faint sweet smell, like an exotic flower.

Gradually she was able to separate the roar of the water from the other sounds and she concentrated on those. Birds. Insects. Even what sounded like a monkey in the
distance. Lots of birds. She began to differentiate the calls, picking out at least half a dozen different bird sounds.

She turned her face upward, feeling the light mist blow over her skin, cooling and refreshing her.

And finally she reached inside her mind, tentatively pushing out, searching for that pathway to her sister. The blackness was intimidating, but she didn’t give up.

For several long minutes she forced herself to remain calm. She floated in that darkness that enveloped her mind and tried to make peace with it.

The longer she sat there, the less overpowering the darkness and silence became. Instead of feeling powerless and terrified, peace settled over her like the sun on a warm summer afternoon.

She grabbed on to it. Held tight. Refused to let go and reimmerse herself in the horrors of the last months.

To be free even for a moment of the choking fear, despair and frustration was to spend a few seconds in heaven.

She had no knowledge of how long she sat there. It could have been hours or just a few minutes. When she reopened her eyes, she found Rio still sitting where he’d been, staring into the distance. Patient. Waiting for her.

As if feeling her gaze, he turned his head and then lifted one eyebrow in question. “Feel a little better?”

“You’re amazing, Rio. You would have made a terrific therapist or maybe a yoga instructor or someone specializing in meditation. Or something. Heck, I don’t even know myself. I’m having the hardest time reconciling this man here with me now with the warrior who rescued me from hell. I can’t fit the two together in my mind.”

“We’re human too,” he said, though there was no censure in his voice. “All of my men. They’re the best of the best. No better anywhere. I’d stake my life and yours on that. But they also have a very human side, one that has nothing to do with blood and death and fear.”

“I didn’t mean to imply otherwise,” she said regretfully.

“How is your head now? Still hurt? Are you tense?”

She took a moment to evaluate and then slowly shook her head. “I’m fine. Truly. I feel…sorta empty. It’s nice. Like nothing weighing down on me.”

“That’s good. The next step is to talk about it.”

Startled, she yanked her gaze back up to him. “Talk about it? You really are starting to sound like some armchair psychologist.”

He ignored the defensive reaction and tilted his head to the side, staring until she fidgeted on the makeshift bench.

“What were you going to say earlier? When the guys were asking you about everything that happened. You implied that they didn’t really take care with you until…Until what, Grace? What happened to make them realize they were slowly killing you?”

She dropped her head, shame immediately crowding into her mind. She closed her eyes tight as if she could push away the memories. But they clung tenaciously, a cruel reminder of the person she’d become for that short time.

“What are you afraid of?” he asked. “They can’t hurt you now. You survived. They didn’t break you.”

“But they did!” she burst out.

Tears burned until she no longer had the strength to fight them. They were like trails of acid down her cheeks, and she choked back the urge to scream. God, she wanted to just yell.

Rio took her hand, softly turned it over until her palm was up, and she instantly tried to yank it back. He held firm, his grip not painful, but neither was it relenting.

He traced a path across the thin, fading line over her wrist. It had taken a long time to heal, so savage the wound had been. She curled her fingers into a tight fist, her wrist flexing in his grasp. She closed her eyes as if she would simply will him to drop the subject.

“What happened here, Grace?” he asked quietly. “You have a nearly identical mark on the other wrist. Given your ability to heal, these must have been terrible wounds.”

“They broke me,” she said again, her voice defeated and small. “Oh God, Rio, it was so terrible. I tried to kill
myself. I’m so shamed by what I did. They nearly didn’t save me. If they’d been a few minutes later getting to me, I would have lost too much blood, and what shames me the most is when I was myself again, my first thought was that I was sorry that I hadn’t succeeded. But oh God, it wasn’t me. I swear to you it wasn’t me, but I still couldn’t keep from wishing that I’d been successful.”

He curled his entire hand around hers and rubbed his thumb over the still healing scar.

“What happened?”

“It was a test,” she said bitterly. “I’d already gone through so much. I was exhausted mentally and physically. I was in constant pain. I was sick from a dozen different ailments. It hurt to even
breathe
.”

“What kind of test?” he gently prompted.

“They brought in a woman who’d been institutionalized because of the danger she was to herself. She was mentally ill and suicidal. She’d already tried to kill herself multiple times, and she was under constant supervision and heavily medicated. They brought her to me and forced me to heal her.”

“Oh, Grace.”

His tone was heavy with sorrow. He continued to stroke her wrist, and she found she didn’t mind quite as much as she had a moment ago.

“It was hell,” she whispered. “I’ve never felt such despair. It was overwhelming, coming at me wave after wave. The voices all telling me I was worthless, that I was nothing and that I’d be doing the world a favor by killing myself. I wasn’t worthy to be alive.

“I fought it at first. I knew that it was her who’d taken over. I knew it wasn’t me. But after a while I could no longer distinguish between where I began and she ended. All I heard was that I needed to die, that I
had
to die.”

“I’m sorry,” Rio said, his voice husky with emotion. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”

“I managed to pry off one of the parts of the bed frame. It had a point on it, and I plunged it into my wrists and
started tearing at the skin. It was a compulsion I was no longer able to ignore. I couldn’t fight it. It took over until I was a puppet being jerked by the ghosts in my head.

“When they found me, I was nearly unconscious and I begged them, I
begged
them to just let me die.”

Rio reached for her, carefully pulling her into his arms. He smoothed her hair through his fingers and simply held her as she recounted the horrors she’d endured.

“What shames me is that even though I knew it wasn’t me, I still wanted to die. I gave up. I just gave up and tried to take the coward’s way out.”

She turned her face into his shoulder and then wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight. He adjusted his position so that he could anchor her more firmly against his chest.