Echoes of Avalon (Tales of Avalon Book 1) (45 page)

“Duty calls, I know, Sir Patrick. I will enjoy myself.”

#

Patrick was irritable throughout the bargaining session with the farmers. It wasn’t really much of a bargaining session: the farmers quoted what they felt they should receive and Greensprings offered the money, and not much negotiation went into it. Any staff member from Greensprings could have done it, but the duty was left to the Avangarde. It was a continuation of Wolfgang von Fiescher’s vision of a humble order of knights. When the money had changed hands, he left Aesclinn in a hurry.

His last words with Katherina troubled him. She had seemed cold and distant and annoyed that his duties interfered. She had so often encouraged him to become more active with the knights, and now that he was, she was jealous of his time. He still didn’t understand the girl, but he was eager to see her and try to patch things up.

While putting up Siegfried, he noticed that Loki’s horses were still in their stables. Pig duty had taken several hours, but that was not long enough to go out for a proper ride and come back.

He searched for her then in the keep, and came up empty.

Jon the Informant, of all people, would know where she was. Patrick came across Sir Jon and Sir Jeremiah at the edge of the garden.

“Did they not go on a carriage ride?” he asked.

Jon looked puzzled. “As far as I know they never intended on it. That would require an escort, and they never ever requested one.”

Patrick pursed his lips. “Are they together at all?”

Jon looked defensive and a little uncomfortable. “Yes.”

“Then where are they?”

Jon tilted his head in the direction of the path to the garden. Patrick’s heart stopped. The garden was the place people went for privacy. That would explain why they did not go on a carriage ride, because that would require going outside the walls of the keep and an Avangarde escort...which would negate privacy. But why would Katherina lie about it?

The secrecy, Jon’s hesitant behavior, Katherina’s distancing. His heart not only stopped, it fell from his breast onto the dusty ground. He approached a stone pillar and leaned on it heavily. Sir Jon and Sir Jeremiah rose and touched his shoulder, and headed back toward the keep, sensing that he wanted to be alone.

It became incredibly apparent what had happened. What he had
allowed
to happen. How could he be so stupid? Why did he let this happen? He wasn’t quite sure what he was more angry at: that he had let Katherina down by not paying her enough attention, or by letting himself down by allowing himself to fall for her when he was trying so hard not to.

He sighed, sat on the bench, and hung his head. He rested like that for some time, damning his luck and pondering what to do next. He had just started to laugh again with her. To be carefree and liberated of worldly matters. She had made him feel good and gave him attention and affection. Even the annoying arguments she caused, he enjoyed. However annoying they had been, they had made him reflect and question his beliefs―and consequently he had taken steps to better himself which looked good in the eyes of the Avangarde. And he had fallen into the trap of taking it all for granted. He was under the blatantly idiotic impression that she would always be there. And he had been absent, inconsiderate, and less-than-honest on such matters as Aimeé.

He felt stupid and sick.

Yet this was exactly the behavior Katherina would condemn. She did not tolerate defeat. He stood and strode quickly into the garden. He would find her, apologize for his insensitivity, and to hell with this “agreement” they had forged. He would let his true feelings be known and show her he had changed. He would not be Sir Silence.

Along the garden path, he stopped at a rosebush and plucked a flower, careful not to prick himself on the thorns.

#

“So, Lady Katherina, your face isn’t quite as long as it once was. Does this mean you have taken command of the former situation that caused you to have difficulties walking earlier?” Viscount Loki asked. He walked slowly with his hands grasped behind his back. The sun beat down hot and bright on the flagstone path and white rose blossoms.

“Let’s just say I take command of my heart.” She too walked with hands behind her back. “Lord Loki, why did you cancel our carriage trip for this?”

He shrugged. “I thought it would be more comfortable to speak in private. I doubt you wanted a knight riding beside us, bending his ear to our every word. Rumors find their beginnings in such a manner, and can have unpleasant repercussions.”

“Some more evident than others.”

“What was that, my Lady?” Loki inquired.

Katherina politely waved him off. “Nothing.”

The came to a central fountain, and Loki sat at the water’s edge and traced his fingers across its surface. The fountain was a masterful piece of work, almost magical in its elegance. It caught the sun and glowed whiter than the roses. Loki motioned for Katherina to join him. “Tell me, are you in need of a shoulder to lean on yet?” he asked. “The offer still stands.”

Katherina smiled. “Do you speak in symbol, or want me actually to lay head on you?”

Loki shrugged. “I must admit, I would rather it be literal. It would make me feel good to be of service to someone—but whatever makes you happy… I would be pleased either way. I am fortunate just to breathe the air around you, and I hope never to cause you to be so distracted that you would trip over your own feet in the darkness, as I witnessed some nights ago.”

Katherina’s eyes flicked up in a faint roll. “Don’t say things you don’t mean. I have had too much of that recently.”

Loki gently grabbed her chin and looked at her with intense eyes; they swirled like a lightning-filled storm cloud. “I do not make promises I cannot keep,” for a split second, his demeanor became fierce, almost wicked, “and I do not tolerate those who do not keep theirs.”

Katherina stiffened at his sudden touch. He was leaning into her personal space, pressing his body against hers. Her jaw firmed and she nodded slowly, refusing to shy away from his gaze.

“I see,” she said, leaning away and breaking their contact. “You are sort who not suffer fools lightly. You take charge of situation. You set the rules. Am I correct?”

Loki shrugged, smug in his silent assent.

“You remind me of my uncle,” she said after a moment of staring off into space.

Loki’s teeth flashed. “Why, thank you.”

Katherina turned to him with a cold stare. “Not a compliment.”

Loki’s expression fell. “Oh, well, my apologies for being me.” He stood and wrung his hands nervously. “I sense there is a story with this uncle-fellow, but I won’t pry. I can assure you I’d never use my ego, considerable as it is, to hurt you.”

“Then I hope what you said earlier is true, that you keep promises.”

Loki kneeled at her feet, gesturing over his chest. “Cross my heart, hope to die, may you stick daggers in my eyes.”

Katherina’s eyes flared and a hint of a smile creased her lips. She leaned forward and cradled the Viscount’s craggy face in her hands. “Careful what you wish for.”

Loki reached up and pressed her hands into his face, his smile deepening. “As long as it is these hands pushing those blades.”

Katherina once again broke contact and pulled away. “Being confident is not bad thing―in fact, it very attractive. But when it becomes arrogance, it no good.”

“I concur,” Loki said, standing. “I take it this uncle was insufferable. If you would be so kind as to tell me what it was in particular about him that put you off, I shall find it easier to avoid making his mistakes.”

Katherina went icy. “I would rather not talk about him, or why I am in Avalon.”

“I beg your forgiveness,” Loki said, bowing at the hip. “Despite my earlier statement, I find myself prying. I mean only to win your trust.”

“Then just be friend.”

After a moment of silence Loki said, “Certainly, but I have a suggestion as well. I want to tell you something about myself. Something I haven’t told anybody here. I have no one to share such things. I’d be honored if you would listen to me, and at the same time hope you will better understand and trust me.”

Katherina’s lips parted slightly but she did not speak. The awkward silence hung in the air. “I—I suppose that is acceptable.”

Loki took a deep breath. “Splendid.”

He stood then and paced, not saying anything for a while, keeping his back turned to her. At last he said, “I know it is not proper to divulge one’s reasons for being here. It is a sanctuary, a safe haven from the outside world and one’s problems there. Well, I do not mind telling you that I am in exile. I was forced away from my people due to a misunderstanding.” He turned his head over his shoulder to look at her as he spoke. “I say ‘my’ people, but they actually adopted me into their clan after tragedy had struck my homeland before that. They took me in when I had nothing. Their leader made a blood-brother out of me. It wasn’t long before they truly treated me like one of their own.” Loki started pacing, staring off into a different time. “They were a big-hearted and magnanimous folk, especially their leader and his wife. I called them ‘Father’ and ‘Mother.'We really were one big happy family.

“But for all their kindness and generosity with me, they were a simple and barbaric people who acted from their hearts more often than their minds. They were unsophisticated, even naive. They made enemies just as fast as they made allies. I am from a more diplomatic people. I used my skills on behalf of my new family and many times saved us all from tragedy. It wasn’t long before we were a secure tribe, and powerful. Father thanked me and was gracious, even when my personality and nature began to chafe the others. Father stood up for me when others grumbled, which became often. I found myself more and more at odds with my siblings. I tried to change them, modernize them too quickly.”

Loki kneeled before Katherina, staring into her eyes. “I meant well, I really did. But in my youth and arrogance, I made the mistake of talking down to them, treating them as lesser. They started to contradict me at every turn, fight me at every chance, even when they knew I was right.”

Jittery with angst, Loki stood again and paced. “Then came the day of my greatest mistake. Again, born out of a desire to help, to be of use and to show gratitude to the people who took me in…” He paused. “Balder: Father’s youngest son, the golden child and beloved of all, wanted to be a hero, wanted to make a name for himself. I must admit he idolized me, looked upon my abilities with wonder—I could calm entire armies and send them packing without raising a single sword. He must have thought I was magic. He was like my shadow, constantly asking questions of my craft, trying to be like me, using the art of the silver tongue to accomplish what his bigger, older brothers couldn’t with the sword and the hammer. You see, among this family, to be a powerful warrior was the be-all, end-all. But Balder was smallish in size, and though a prize with the ladies, he could never seem to win the respect that he craved from his brothers.

“So the day came when enemies came and laid siege to the city. Balder was acquainted with the commander of the opposing army, and thought to convince him through statecraft to leave. Somehow turn the enemy away, while at the same time making a business deal that would profit both sides down the road. Such was my way. But Balder did not consult me in his plan. He wanted to do it all alone, to receive full credit and be a hero. I did not begrudge him for wanting that. What I couldn’t allow, what nobody could allow, was
how
he wanted to go about it.”

Loki turned to the Lady Katherina with hands behind his back, the straight face of the narrator. “He thought to win the trust of the commander by presenting the keys to the city. He had learned from me, in order to win something in negotiations, you must first give something of equal value.” Loki squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temple. “What made him think that giving the
keys
to the city was a good idea is beyond me. I heard of his plan and tried to stop him. But it only resulted in a bitter argument that made him even more determined to carry out the plan on his own. I was helpless to do anything to stop him. You see, my behavior had alienated me from the others and I knew no one, not even Father, would listen to me. Especially if it involved disparaging Balder, his favorite son.

“So I went to Balder’s brother, Hoder, who would at least listen to me with an impartial ear. Because Hoder was blind from birth, he was not a hotheaded warrior like the other brothers, and I thought Balder might listen to the soft-spoken Hoder. I trusted Hoder to stop his brother by any means possible. Unbeknownst to me, Hoder took the ‘by any means possible’ portion of my request a little too seriously. Hoder, though blind, had many talents, one of which was concocting potions from herbs.” Loki smiled sweetly, his voice trailing off a little. “He made many a love potion for people in Father’s court.”

Loki shook his head and resumed the original pace of his story, but with a sadder voice. “I do not know if Hoder intentionally poisoned his brother, or if it was an accident, but he added too much mistletoe to the brew, and tricked his brother into drinking it the night before he was to hand over the keys. Balder, the golden child who only wished to save the kingdom, died a horrible, painful death. In the end, the enemy was driven away by force.”

Loki sat down on the fountain’s edge, the day’s heat starting to create damp spots at his armpits and chest. He gathered a handful of water and rubbed it in his face. Katherina kept her hands folded in her lap, listening patiently for the rest of Loki’s story.

After a long sigh, he continued. “Father was inconsolable. When confronted, Hoder blamed me, said I told him to do it, that I manipulated a poor blind child into murdering his own brother. I was already at odds with my family, and this sealed my fate. Father spared my life, which the others demanded, and instead ordered that I be bound and imprisoned in a cave.”

Loki turned to Katherina, staring with a frank expression. “I was married back then, to a very devoted and caring woman named Sigun. She had the biggest heart of all. To this day I still do not know what I did to deserve her, for I treated her poorly and never gave her the attention she deserved. At first I couldn’t stand the sight of her. She was so
annoying
, and not all that pretty.” He made a gesture before his face, “Really big nose, you know? But I couldn’t get rid of her, and she just started to grow on you. One day, I just realized she was sort of a permanent fixture and I accepted it.