Eden's Pleasure (Pulse Book 1) (44 page)

“Well, aren’t you the condescending asshole?” she asked with a furrowed brow and pursed lips, before taking a moment or two to see the big picture Mason was painting for her.

Eden rubbed her hands over her face, frustrated that this man, whose closest relationship with a female was with his gun he named Shirley, understood more about women than most guys. She still wanted to slap his smug kisser on behalf of all women out there, for his acurate perception of the female populace.

Pointing her finger in his face without fear of him nipping it off as his eyes followed it, she gave him what for. “For your information, I don’t need to know everything! Maybe I’m just jealous the letter is from a woman, maybe it’s fear. I don’t know. I guess I’m afraid,” she confided.

“Afraid of what? Chase fucking around? Are you kidding me? He’d never hurt you like that, sweetheart,” Mason said, defending the honor of his best friend. He knew him like no one else. He could guarantee on his life that the man was rock solid, salt of the earth and all. No man was more loyal to a fault than Chase Dean.

Eden put her head on his shoulder and sniffled back a tear. “Mason…what if there
is
someone else? I know you say he’s faithful, but would he really tell you if he was seeing someone else? What if he doesn’t want me anymore, Mason? Maybe he’s tired of me. What if he met someone more exciting?”

Mason shrugged her head off his shoulder. “Don’t be stupid. I would know. I practically go everywhere the man goes,” he blurted out, causing her mouth to drop open, letting out a puff of air to prove her exasperation. “Where do you women get this shit from? You start imagining that we’re screwing someone else and sneaking around if you find a pubic hair out of place. For Christ’s sake, Eden it was a letter, not a fucking naked chick in his bed.”

“Thanks, Mason. You have such an encouraging way with words.” She reached for her coat, finished with the conversation, and fully intending to make a dash for it, until Mason grabbed her forearm, forcing her to sit back down with a raw thump. He pinned her in place; she had nowhere to go.

Mason held her tight. “Why do you do that? Why do you always take flight the minute a situation gets a little sticky? It drives me absolutely off my rocker. And people wonder why I avoid getting serious with a woman. Fuck!”

“Because us woman are all nuts? Is that what you’re saying?” Her feathers were definitely getting ruffled.

“Yep!” he declared.

“Well, you’ll never get a woman with an attitude like that…how the hell did you ever end up married?” The words were out before she realized, and she looked at him with pure regret. Her face paled, and she held her breath before speaking again. “Oh god, Mason, I’m sorry.”

He looked at her puzzled at first, quickly replaced by angry eyes. “How the hell would you know that? I guess our friend, Chase, has a big fucking mouth.”

“No. Chase didn’t tell me anything. He never told me a thing, I promise you.” She felt so bad. “I overheard you and Chase talking about Gloria at the house. Please don’t be mad?”

Mason carefully contemplated his next words in his mind, sitting quietly for the longest time. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs to capacity, letting the air out slowly in search of calm before twisting his head from side to side. Eden watched him, saying nothing in fear that he would reach down and squash her like a grape, but all the while wanting to ask him unanswered questions she had about his wife.

“Ok, so you know. I can live with that. Yeah I was married for five years…end of.” He cut the conversation off, figuring she would leave it at that.

“What happened?” Eden asked, the nosy side of her taking over. He had to have expected that. After all, he accused her of being a nosy bitch. Payback, as they say.

He wouldn’t make eye contact. “She died.” He stared at his fist resting at the edge of the table.

“How did she die?”

“Fuck! You’re not going to let it go at that, are you? She fucking OD-ed, ok?” he snarled, his voice rising, but not to the level anyone around them would hear. “Are you happy now? You understand why I’m so fucked up? Do you have any more questions? Perhaps you’d like to know all the fucking gory details. How I found her dead, curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor? The color of the nightgown she died in? How the door to that room hasn’t been opened since?”

Eden’s lip began to quiver, and she fought back tears listening to his bitter words. He was in pain and hurting, so she understood his lashing out at her. He stared at her as she waited for more of his verbal assault. She could see that his anger was disappearing, and he seemed suddenly sedate.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.” He offered his apologies. “I just don’t want to talk about my private life and family, ok?”

“I’m the one that’s sorry, Mason. I deserve worse than you gave me, I’m afraid. I really wasn’t trying to pry into your personal life. It’s just you’re my friend. I worry about you like I worry about Chase…and I don’t think you’re fucked up.”

Mason let her words sink in, but he knew he was fucked up. He was as big a mess as he accused her of being in the past. He was a grumpy prick with a chip on his shoulder.

He watched her closely, studying her face because he had never bothered to before. He thought she was a pretty little thing. Her bright, fiery eyes filled with strong emotions, a heart full of passion, her plump lips that he could only imagine touching against his own, and a body he dreamed of nightly, if she only knew. She was a woman he could gladly fall for, and deep down, he had. But that was a secret that he’d take to his grave. He’d respectfully stand at a distance and admire her, love her the only way he could.

“No more about me, ok? This conversation stays between us, alright?” She nodded, and he seemed happy enough with that. “But you, you need to have faith in the Chase. He’s not going anywhere, sweetheart…and if he does, you got me as a backup. What more could you ask for?” He joked, knowing sadly that his secret love for her would stay just that. He wrapped his arm over her shoulders and gave her a little squeeze.

“Thanks, Mason.”

“Now I’m going to take you home without any arguments, got it?” He was as commanding in his authority as Chase. She slipped on her parka when he held it out to her. Eden leaned forward while he was fighting with the zipper and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. To her amazement, he didn’t flinch or object.

“Could I borrow your phone, Mason, to call Chase and let him know I’m alright?” she asked.

“He knows, sweetheart.”

“You called him?”

“When you were in the ladies. Shit, I couldn’t have him running around the streets of Boston looking for you, could I?” he asked as he buttoned up his coat, then held out his hand to her.

“Thank you.” She smiled, slipping her hand into his, happy that she had such a good friend in Mason.

***

The elevator opened to an empty foyer, and Eden looked up at Mason, apprehensive to enter any further. He tugged at her zipper and slid her out of her parka, throwing it onto one of the pegs on the wall with his. They removed their shoes, and he put them to the side, took her hand, and pulled her with him as he made his way through each room in pursuit of Chase’s whereabouts.

“Maybe he left,” Eden whispered, scared to make a sound.

“No, he wouldn’t leave without letting me know,” Mason assured her as he took to the stairs. “There’s only one other place he’d be.”

When they got to the bedroom door Mason looked at Eden sadly and slipped a lock of her hair behind her ear, wishing that things had been different, and it was him that she was going in search of. The one whose name she cried during sex. It drove him mad when he heard them making love. He’d learn to get past it in time.

Then he opened the door and walked in, not waiting to knock or seek permission to enter. He figured that formality wasn’t needed in this situation. They both saw Chase sitting on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands. He looked up at the pair, his glassy eyes moved to their hands, still holding tight. Eden pulled her hand loose, and Mason kissed the top of her head.

“I’m outta here. You two need to talk. Bye, sweetheart.” Mason was gone before either of them could say a word.

Chase stood, and Eden ran into his open arms. They held each other in silence, neither of them knowing quite what to say for the longest time.

“I’m so sorry, Chase,” Eden uttered finally, keeping her face against his chest so she didn’t have to look at him, and see the anger in his eyes again.

“Don’t be sorry, baby. I shouldn’t hide things from you. It’s not right. You need to know because it’s not going to go away so easily.” He took her face in his hands, the anger gone, replaced with a look of sorrow, and he kissed her lips, licking his own after he released her. “Mmm, chocolate.”

“Mason bought me cocoa,” she said, offering an answer.

“He took good care of you? And how’s your head? Need an aspirin?” He put a hand to the back of her head, and she flinched in pain. He was gone and back with water and two aspirin before she could even reply to his query. She took the pills and smiled her thanks.

“Mason’s always good to me. He’s a good friend.”

Chase pulled the crumpled envelope that caused all the disruption from his pocket, and handed it to her. Eden looked at it, confused and questioning.

“Go ahead, read it,” he instructed her, watching as she slid out a card and smoothed it between her hands before opening it. The artwork on the front showed a sparkling star atop a snow-covered tree on a blue background, plain but not needing much more than that to comprehend the message of the season. Inside she saw only a simple verse and a handwritten message.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Here’s to another year without her thanks to you!

“I don’t understand, Chase. What does this mean?” Eden asked, handing it back to him.

Chase took a breath in and blew it out. There was a pain on his face she had never seen before. He was suffering terribly with what he wanted to say, and her heart ached for him.

She moved closer. “Chase, what is it?”

“You better sit.” He walked with her to the bed. Instead of sitting with her, he chose to tread the floor while he deliberated exactly where to start.

“I get the same card year after year from a man whose wife I had an affair with. It’s meant to torment me, and it works.” He walked over to look out the window before continuing on, hoping to hell that she tried to understand.

Eden sat quietly in shock, trying desperately not to judge him without hearing his explanation.

“I was her student at the Conservatory of Music. Her name was Clair. She was 18 years older than me, the affair started after I graduated. We met for drinks after a recital. Clair found out about my funding the school and wanted to discuss the distribution of the funds. We drank too much, and she told me about her failing marriage and one thing led to another…”

Chase raked his fingers through his beard and took in a deep breath.

“Did you love her?” Eden asked, not sure if she would get an answer she wanted to hear. Not sure if she should even be asking him questions.

“No baby, I didn’t…the affair went on for almost a year. She taught me many things in that year about women, their wants and needs and so much more, a lifetime of things…I tried to break it off several times, but she suffered from depression and would guilt me into staying with her. Then her husband found out about us and moved her away to Arizona.”

“So the cards…” Eden was trying to understand, but Chase cut her off before she could ask anymore.

“Let me finish, baby.”

He sat in the chair by the window with his hands folded together and his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. Eden could see droplets falling to the floor like little sparkling crystals in the moonlight and realized that Chase was crying. His tears formed a tiny puddle on the floor at his feet, and she swallowed hard to hold back her own tears.

“She killed herself!” He buried his face in his hands, and Eden gasped, her heart breaking for him. Moving to him, she dropped to the floor and forced herself between his knees, forcing him to look at her. His emerald eyes glistened with tears, and he concealed his face in her neck, fisting her shirt, holding tight as she held him.

“God, Eden, I’m so sorry.”

“You know it wasn’t your fault, right?” she asked, watching him struggle with his words.

Eden wiped his face when he pulled back. “I know. It took years of therapy with a psychiatrist and therapists to get to the point where I stopped blaming myself, but I know.”

“Why don’t you do something to stop her husband from sending the cards?” she asked.

Shaking his head with a shoulder shrug, he tried to explain. “I don’t really know. Maybe it helps him deal with it…it’s time to put an end to it though. I’ll write him a letter. He may just need some kind of closure, it’s the least I could do.”

“You should do that,” she said, standing. Chase put his hands on her hips and his forehead on her stomach, not moving for the longest time.

“Chase, can ask you something?”

“Anything, baby, anything.” He kept his hold on her.

She closed her eyes and prayed that he would understand she was just trying to make sense of what this had done to him. She ran her hands through his raven curls, releasing the scent that was so much her man, and she inhaled before asking. “Is that why you won’t play anymore?”

He lifted his head, looking at her face. She held her hands in the rough beard at his chin. She saw the answer in his eyes; nothing more needed to be said.