Eden's Root (40 page)

“I’m sorry Sean,” he apologized. “But I have to tell them who I am, what I’ve done.” Sean turned away from him in silence. Asher then told them about capturing Sean and beating him. Fi listened with her eyes closed and her head down, her fingers laced behind her neck. Though Asher was kind enough to leave out many of the details, Sean’s shame was obvious and it ripped her apart. Angry and flushed, he sat utterly still, staring at the ground while the rest of the group gasped at each confession. She wanted Asher in the Family so badly, but…it was a Family Rule that they could not harm one another, Fi worried. Could they accept someone in their midst who had already hurt one of them?

When it came time to make her case, her stomach twisted with nerves. Fi argued eloquently for him, and she thought that most of the Family was willing to say ‘Ay’, but Sean was sticking.

“I don’t know Fi,” he said, his tone honest. “I don’t know what we need with another fighter really. I mean we did fine when you were our only fighter.
And
he’s another,” Sean looked Asher up and down, “rather large mouth to feed. He doesn’t bring much to the table like Jose and Mayra.” Lydia piped up.

“But I don’t really either Sean,” she said, “Not really.” She shook her head and smiled at Asher who smiled cautiously back at her.

“I think that the Family Teacher is an extremely important role,” he replied. Fi was annoyed by his tone and then felt confused. Why would she feel annoyed? When Fi studied Asher’s face, she just didn’t see harm there. He was so kind, even if he was a fighter. Sean persisted, his tone growing petulant.

“Let’s assume that we don’t care that Asher’s skills aren’t necessarily needed,” he said. “What about whether we can really trust him?” Fi’s heart sank as he posed the question. “He’s an amazing fighter, I saw that myself, but what if he decides to turn on us? Isn’t that a concern?” His eyebrows were raised and he gestured with his hands as he spoke. The horrifying bruising of his face only helped to make his case.

“I mean, he left his own gang, of which he was the Leader, to go with us pretty darned easily,” Sean argued. “What do we think of someone who can do what he’s done?” His voice and emotions rose with each new question. He fired them like bullets and Fi felt every one hitting her dead center. “What about character? Doesn’t that matter to us? Can we have a killer in our midst?” his voice had risen to a near shout when his gaze settled on Fi’s bowed head and his face fell. In an instant, he realized that he had made a mistake.

“Well Sean,” Fi peered up at him with dull eyes. Her stomach filled with dread as she realized what she had to do. “I think if a person’s actions are going on trial here, then we need to be fair about it.” She kept her voice steady and purposeful despite the quavering in her gut. She wanted Sean to know where this was going, and that it was his doing. Sean’s eyes widened.

“No Fi,” he said, “it’s not the same thing!” he protested. She closed her eyes for a second. That is where he was wrong and that was why she had to do what she had to do.

“Yes Sean,” she opened her eyes. “It is.” She turned to the family and took a deep breath. “I have not always been honest with you Family,” she began and Sean dropped his head into his hands, distraught. There was a quiet murmur and Asher stared at her with concern. She felt the warning of tears and she bit the inside of her lip to control herself. “I lied by omission to try to protect you.” Her voice shook, despite her efforts to sound calm.

“I have never lied in Consideration,” she clarified, “but I do not share a lot of what happens when I leave to go out on raids.” Repeating Asher’s own words, she continued, “I have seen a lot of things and…done a lot of things that I would have once found unimaginable,” she said, as her eyes grew distant. C’mon, she thought. Just say it. It’s time you said it out loud anyway. She felt like she was going to throw up, but she managed to choke out, “Including killing people.” Fi dropped her head and tried to ignore the gasps around her. She kept her head down. If there was one thing she couldn’t do right now, it was face Maggie’s eyes.

“It was November,” she began, “and Sean and I were on a raid.” Her mind raced back to that night and the story poured out of her. How she hated the memory…

Fi and Sean ambled down the road in the darkness. They had not seen other people in so long that they were growing casual. Speaking too loudly, walking in the middle of the road. It was lucky that they did not get ambushed, she’d thought later. They were talking and joking with one another to pass the time, when the cold night air was ripped apart by a woman’s agonized screams. They both froze and dashed off the road into the sanctuary of the dark trees.

“Where is that coming from?” Fi asked, cocking her head. The screams continued. They could hear the woman begging someone else to ‘Stop’. The sound was horrifying. Fi covered her ears for ten seconds and squeezed her eyes shut, but she could still hear. Someone needed help. She gulped fresh air and shivered off her fear, her decision made.

“Hey,” she turned to a ghost-white Sean. “Let’s go.” She nodded toward the sound and he murmured in agreement. They had gotten so used to moving in darkness, that she knew he saw her. It was also clear that he knew her intent. In silence they made their way toward the screaming.

After a minute of picking through the woods, they came upon a road. Fi and Sean drew their guns and crouched, moving across the road and behind the hedge on the other side. Over the hedge, they both could see the source of the screams. Fi felt her stomach lurch and she gagged while Sean stiffened beside her. Instinct made her want to look away, but she needed to assess the situation. She steeled herself and watched.

There were four of them. One of them was on top of the woman who was screaming, pinning her to the ground. The other three were holding an old man and a young boy face down. Cheers and laughter from the other attackers spurred the rapist on while his victim wailed and wept beneath him. As Fi watched, the old man yelled in protest, but his captor silenced him with a rifle butt to the head. Fi knew that Sean saw what she did, only one of the attackers had a gun, and all appeared to be drunk. They crouched down again and turned to each other.

“We have to help them,” Fi whispered and Sean nodded.

“Here’s the plan,” he suggested. “I know you want to go in, because you always do. Just go in fast with your weapon ready. You have the advantage of surprise and of being covered.”

Nodding, Fi felt gratitude that Sean had worked so hard to improve his skill with the Glock. Otherwise they couldn’t do this. They would have had to just leave this poor woman. Fi took a deep breath. In the yard, the woman’s screams had subsided into haunting moans. Fi jumped up and ran toward the scene, her gun drawn.

“Get the hell off of her, you pig!” she yelled, her stride strong as she approached. Everyone turned in surprise. The rapist leapt up off his victim, who scuttled away backward on all fours toward the wall of her house. There, a small girl stood cowering in the dark and the two clutched at each other, eyes wide, tears dried on their dusty cheeks. The rapist stood with his pants around his ankles. He smirked at Fi and put his hands up. Her teeth chattered with rage.

“S’ok little lady,” he said. “There’s enough to go around.” As he said this, he slid his hand between his legs and she fired. A blue-black dot appeared on the rapist’s head and he crumpled where he’d stood. She inhaled in shock and almost dropped her weapon. You just killed him, her mind raced. Killed him. He’s dead.

Protests arose from the rapist’s friends as their faces twisted in anger and fear.

“Holy shit! You bitch!”

“What the hell is going on?”

Their cries made her mind snap back and she straightened her aim. Her stomach tightened with resolve as she realized that she not only killed the rapist…she hadn’t even hesitated. Unfazed, she pointed her weapon at the remaining men.

“Drop your weapons and get on your bellies now or you pigs are dead too.” Her voice was ice cold and her hands steady. The men let go of the old man and the boy as well as the rifle, and slammed themselves to the ground.

“Mama!” the boy yelled and ran to the woman and girl cowering by the house.

“You!” Fi said to the old man. “Grab the gun.” He nodded and picked the rifle up shakily, tossing it aside. Fi rolled her eyes. She meant use it for goodness’ sakes. “Can you use a firearm?” He nodded, the terror still bright in his eyes.

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Good,” she said calmly. “Then take this,” she handed him her gun. “Keep it on them, ok?” He nodded.

“C’mon Sean,” she called into the darkness. The entire group gasped when Sean came out from behind the hedge, gun drawn and ready. “Sean, help him cover these guys.”

“You got it Fi,” he growled, his voice thick. There was no need to discuss it. Fi knew that for both of them this was bad, really bad. Neither of them had ever seen anything like this in their lives.

“Thank you,” she told him. Fi turned toward the woman and her children and realized as she walked toward them that her energy was still too amped up. They cowered as she approached, and it hit her that to them she was a stranger, and a killer. Shivering, she softened her walk and approached gently, bending down when she drew near.

“Hello?” she said to the shuddering woman. “Are you ok?” The woman nodded, her ebony hair falling across her face. Despite the bruises, Fi could see that she was beautiful.

“M’ok.” A split lip garbled the woman’s words. Fi’s stomach burned.

“Are the children ok?”

“Yes, thanks to you.” The woman reached to touch Fi’s hand with her fingertips and Fi shook her head in frustration.

“I’m sorry we weren’t here sooner.” Regret filled her eyes with angry tears. Brushing them away, Fi leaned in closer. Very quietly, so that only the woman could hear, she admitted, “I have no experience with what just happened here. I’ve never even seen this before.” She paused. “So the way I see it, what happens to the rest of these pigs is your call. I will give you my weapon if you’d like. You just let me know.” For a moment the woman rocked in silence, her eyes closed, her arms around her children. Fi and Sean waited. After several minutes, she spoke.

“I want the gun.” There was no emotion on her face. She released her children and told them to turn around and face the wall. They whimpered, but did what she asked when she assured them that everything was going to be ok. She stood and took Fi’s hand. Fi could feel her trembling and she squeezed gently. She walked the woman to the three remaining men and asked the old man to hand over her gun. Fi showed her how to use it, including how to steady her shot.

“Trust me,” Fi murmured. “From this close you won’t miss.” The woman nodded. “Alright pigs,” Fi spat. “Stand in a row with your hands behind your head. No choice here, if you don’t obey, you will definitely be killed.” This was a simple fact at this point, she thought. No point in sugarcoating it. The men got to their feet as instructed. Fi could feel the fear streaming off of them and it made her sick. NOW they were scared, she thought. Screw them. Fi stood next to the woman.

“I’m sorry, I should have asked this before. What is your name Ma’am?”

“Phuong,” she responded. “I’m ready now.” Her voice shook, but Fi could sense her resolve. Phuong raised the gun at the cowering men. A minute ticked by while she held her aim, not doing anything, just waiting. Then without warning, she fired. Three shots rang out, punctuated by three howls of pain. All three men fell to the ground in agony. Phuong handed Fi the gun. “I’m not a killer,” she said, her tone resigned. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks as she walked back to her children and gathered them into her arms.

Fi approached the injured men and realized with horror that Phuong had shot each one directly in the groin. It was obvious that they were going to die of their injuries anyway, the wounds bled freely and were extremely serious, but Fi saw the woman’s point. It was up to her now, Fi knew, to do the compassionate thing. Just pretend it’s a deer, she told herself, and you missed your mark. Make it quick. Nauseated, she put three quick rounds into three heads, silencing their moans. Standing over the bodies, she felt the weight of it settle into her bones. It was official. She was a killer now. Fleetingly she thought of her father. I’m not sure if you would be proud or disappointed in me Papa, she thought, exhausted. I still haven’t decided myself.

Dazed, she walked back to Sean. “It’s time to go.” His eyes were wide and he nodded. He knew that Fi had never killed before. Over Sean’s shoulder, Fi saw that the old man had walked to comfort the woman, and he held the rifle. “You sir,” Fi said on their way past, “do you have actual ammo for that rifle?”

“Yes ma’am,” he said. “We also have two other people with us, but they are out searching for more food. These men caught me when I was…indisposed.” There was no mistaking the guilt and embarrassment in his voice, but that was too bad. They had to get a clue about the new world and they had to do it now. Fi’s gaze was serious.

“Well I recommend that you teach every member of your group how to use a gun so you never have to be the sole sentry,” she scolded him. “I know that these are just women and children, but that is the way of the world now. You can’t leave your home unguarded for a second.” The man nodded in silent chagrin. “You’re all alive, and that’s what is important. Good luck to you all.”

Articulating this lesson to the other family raised Fi’s urgency to get back to her own. Without speaking Fi passed Sean, moving toward the forest.

“Fi,” he murmured and she turned. His face was twisted as if he felt conflicted. “Do you think we should take them,” he looked back. “You know, to our Family?” Fi felt her heart sink. Another four right there and who knows how many away in the forest. Why did they have to make these kinds of choices, she thought, feeling exhausted. She shook her head sadly. “Too many,” was all she said and he nodded.

----------- Sean -----------

With his head in his hands, Sean felt his heart break with every word. What the hell was wrong with me, he thought, enraged at himself and at Asher. She should never have had to tell anyone this, especially Maggie. It’s not the same thing!