Edge (13 page)

“I’ll miss you,” I said again, stopping her. “More than any of that shit bothers me, I’ll miss you.”

“Me too.” She cleared her throat. “But such is hockey, right?”

“Yeah.”

Once again, what I would’ve liked wasn’t even an option. Hockey ruled every move I made, as it had for more than 15 years. By the time I could have Dell in my life and treat her right, she’d be with some other lucky asshole.

I turned and left, not knowing what else to say. It would all be bittersweet from this moment forward anyway.

Dell

Luke was magic on the ice in his last game. He played hard and fast, and the crowd loved him. They gave him a standing ovation at the end of the game, and I cheered along with them, my throat tight with emotion.

I was bursting with pride in him. He’d put his mind to coming back from his injury and done it. It hadn’t been easy, and I was awed by his commitment to hockey. As much as I’d miss him, I wanted to see him succeed. He was back in contention for the Olympic team, and the thought of him making it gave me chills of excitement.

It was hugs and high-fives from all the guys in the locker room. Worried I’d cry from knowing this was his last time with us, I went to hide out in my office. He caught me just as I made it in the door.

“Dell?”

I turned and met his beautiful icy blue gaze. I’d cry for sure when he said goodbye to me.

“I’m officially not on this team anymore.”

What was he saying? Was he going to kiss me, and melt me into a puddle right here, in my office? I swallowed, wanting him to do it and afraid he would at the same time. I was the one at risk in this non-relationship. I was the one who could fall so hard I might never find my way back up. He was a pro at not getting attached. I could only manage it by never getting close, and I’d blown that possibility with him.

“Spend the night with me,” he said, his tone low and his eyes fixed intently on mine. “I’ll be at the Piermont. Room 311.”

My heart pounded and I opened my mouth to speak. This was it. I could go the safe route and always wonder what it would’ve been like if he’d touched me. Or I could let go of my inhibition and be his for one night.

It wasn’t even a choice. But still I couldn’t make myself answer. I reached for my exam table, holding it to brace against my erratic heartbeat and the swimming sensation in my head.

“I hope you’ll come,” he said softly. “But I understand if you don’t.”

He turned and left the room. I watched his back, knowing he was leaving the locker room for the last time. There’d be no more stolen glances or late night practice sessions. He was going back to his real life, and I’d be left with memories of a few weeks that had changed me, opened me to new possibilities.

Every time a man asked me out, I shot him down. But maybe the safety of being alone was overrated. Maybe it would feel good to have a man in my life. I couldn’t imagine wanting anyone but Luke right now, but that would pass in time.

And tonight the wanting would stop. I’d finally get to have him in all the ways I craved. I just hoped I’d be enough – that I’d do the right things and for once, not be awkward and uncertain.

Dell

Sadie stood behind me, her hands resting on my shoulders as we both looked at my reflection in the full length mirror.

“You look gorgeous,” she said. “Really, Dell.”

She’d loaned me some clothes that were sexier than anything I owned — a pair of worn jeans that molded to my body and a silky, black v-neck shirt. She wrapped a silver necklace around my neck and I held my hair back so she could clasp it.

“Heels or fuck me boots?” she pondered.

“Heels. He knows he’ll be fucking me and I’d fall on my ass trying to get the boots off.”

“Always so practical.” She sorted through the hanging racks of shoes in her closet.

“I’m a horrible mother.” I sat down on the edge of her bed, my shoulders sinking. “My son is asleep in the next room and I’m getting hookered up to get laid.”

Sadie laughed and pulled out a pair of black heels with leopard trim. “Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you’re not a woman. You’ve been celibate for
years
, girl.”

I nodded slowly. “And this is a one-time thing. He’s leaving in the morning and we won’t see each other again.”

“There you go.” She handed me the shoes and I slipped them on. “Have fun. I’m living vicariously through you, so no holding back. I better hear you screaming his name from here.”

My cheeks warmed at the thought. “I’m not good at this, Sade. Even back when I was getting action, it was up against a locker. I never had to do anything. What do I do?”

“You’ve given blowjobs, haven’t you?”

I squirmed uncomfortably. “Not really.”

“What the shit? How did I not know that?”

“It’s not like I brag about it or anything.”

She sat down next to me. “You’ll be fine. Follow his cues. When he likes it, you’ll know.”

My chest tightened in panic. “How will I know when he doesn’t?”

“If he’s not moving or making any sounds, change things up. Don’t forget his balls. You have to suck on them without biting.”

“Oh.” I nodded. “I can do that.”

“He wants you, Dell. And I imagine he’s used to taking the lead in bed. You’re gonna be fine.” She looked at her watch. “It’s close to midnight, so get that fine ass in gear.”

I got up from the bed and took a deep breath. “Okay. Full report in the morning.”

“I’m taking Ky out for pancakes and then to the children’s museum. I’m closing the door to your room and telling him you’re sleeping in.”

“Thanks, Sade. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She grinned at me, but turned serious quickly. “You trimmed your bush, right?”

“Uh … I shaved it, actually.” My voice rose on the last word like it was a question.

“Good girl. No man wants to floss with your pubes.”

“Oh, my God.” I covered my face with a hand. “That’s not happening. I don’t think I could stand it, I’d be so nervous.”

“Has a man ever …?”

I shook my head adamantly. “No time. Locker room quickies, remember?”

She gaped at me, incredulous. “That’s just wrong, D. You’ll cry when you find out what you’ve been missing.”

I rolled my eyes at her. “Such melodrama. I’ll text you on my way home, unless he doesn’t want me to stay. I might be in bed when you wake up.”

“He’ll want you to stay.” She grabbed my shoulders and steered me through the living room to the front door. “Now go forth, and get laid.”

Her conspiratorial smile reminded me of our college days. I grabbed my coat from the couch and headed for my car. The heels weren’t hard to walk in at all. I practiced a chin-up
I got this
walk, going for sexy. It probably was, until one of the heels slid to the side and I lost my balance, barely catching the hood of my car to avoid a full-on spill.

I shook my head at my clumsiness. So I’d walk slow. Best to figure this out here, instead of in front of Luke.

Luke. Just his name made my heart race. I’d finally get to see all of him, and touch him in a way that wasn’t part of my job. The closer I got to the Piermont, the more tied up in knots I felt.

I parked in the hotel’s deck and walked cautiously toward the front door. I was covered in goose bumps, but I didn’t know if it was from the freezing winter air or my nervousness.

On the elevator ride to the third floor, I wrapped my arms around myself and took several deep breaths. Sadie’s words of reassurance still rang in my mind. I could do this. I wasn’t a virgin, even if it had been a while. Okay, more than a while.

I raised my hand to knock, part of me wanting to run away and psyche myself up a little more. But I rapped on the door, wanting to see Luke even more.

It opened after just a few seconds and he was grinning at me.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said, stepping aside so I could enter.

He wore the dark pinstriped suit pants he’d put on after the game, and his pale blue dress shirt had a button undone on top and the sleeves rolled up.

“Want to take your coat off?” he asked, reaching for my shoulders to help me with it. I let him slide it off, his fingers grazing my shoulders as he did. The light contact sent a shiver down my spine.

“You cold?” he asked. I nodded and considered diving into him for warmth. But he moved away to lay my coat over a chair and adjust the thermostat on the wall.

“You look beautiful,” he said, eyeing me from head to toe, as he walked toward me. “Of all the spots I’ve fantasized about touching you, I want to feel your hair the most.”

“You can now,” I said. He stopped right in front of me, our bodies only inches apart. A small smile played on his lips as he reached out and took a lock of my hair in his hand, running his fingers over the length of it.

“So soft,” he said in a low tone. He pressed his hand to the back of my neck, running his fingers up into my hair. The most divinely sexual sensation I’d ever felt washed through me from head to toe.

I reached for his jaw line and stroked a hand across the golden brown scruff there. How I wanted to feel it on my skin. His pale blue eyes were beautiful so close up, and I fell into a trance as I gazed up at him.

Luke’s eyes slid closed as he brushed a thumb across my lip. I reached my hands around his biceps and squeezed them. They were hard and ridged, which I knew from seeing them in the locker room, but as I felt them beneath my fingers, I was unable to suppress a smile.

“Something funny?” he asked, arching his brows.

“Not funny. You just feel so good. I love your body.”

“I love yours,” he said, his face turning serious. “I haven’t wanted any woman but you since the first time I saw you. You enchant me, Dell.”

His words made me tingle from head to toe. I turned my face up to him and he knew what I wanted. He slid a hand to the side of my neck and leaned down. A hint of peppermint touched my senses and then his lips met mine, soft but sure. His kiss was gentle, his mouth exploring mine in the most tender way. He nuzzled my upper lip with his teeth and tasted my tongue with his own.

I fell into him, having lost control of my knees. He could probably feel my heart pounding against his chest. His hand pressed against my lower back, steadying me and fusing our bodies tightly together.

He pulled his lips from mine unexpectedly but still held me against him.

“We don’t have to have sex,” he said softly.

My brows shot up in surprise. “Don’t you want to?” I asked.

“Absolutely. But I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“I don’t. And I’ll spread the word that you’re a tease if you leave me like this.”

He laughed lightly. “I’m gonna miss your sense of humor. You’re the coolest, sexiest woman I’ve ever known.”

I felt myself blushing at the compliment. “Thank you.”

“I was planning to ask if you want some dinner. I can order us something.”

“I’m fine, but go ahead if you want to.”

“There’s only one thing I want.”

His eyes never left mine as he put his big hands on my hips and slid them up beneath the fabric of my shirt. I let out a shaky breath as he caressed my skin all the way up to my satin bra.

“Off,” I whispered. “Take it off.”

He raised my arms in the air and pulled the shirt off over my head. His gaze wandered down to my red bra.

“Guess you’ve already seen the goods,” I said nervously.

“Baby, I could never get tired of seeing your goods.” He slid his fingers beneath one of the bra straps on my shoulder, lowering his lips to kiss the spot it had been. A shot of desire spread between my thighs so hard and fast I gasped from it. He repeated the process on the other side, his lips moving from my shoulder to my neck.

Holy Christ, his facial hair brushing across my skin felt good. More than good – it was sublime. If my body reacted this way now, I’d possibly pass out from the excitement of sex with him.

“That feels so good,” I said in a dreamy tone.

His muffled groan against my bare neck brought a soft moan from my lips. “Yeah, talk to me, Dell. Tell me what you like. I love hearing you say what feels good.”

The tickle of his breath against my skin set me on fire. I unfastened the buttons on his dress shirt, working my way down and then pushing it over his shoulders. He pulled it off, then removed his white t-shirt in a quick motion.

I pressed myself to his bare chest, where warm, hard muscle met my lips and fingertips. I touched and tasted, knowing I’d never get my fill of this beautiful man. I felt the groan in his chest this time, and I pulled back to look up at him, challenging him with raised brows.

“So let’s see if you’re all talk, Hudson.”

His single note of laughter and cocky grin made my nipples flicker to life. “All talk? Come here, little girl.”

He bent a bit and lifted me into his arms. His lips reached for mine with fervor this time, the tenderness nowhere to be found. I nipped at his upper lip and ran a hand into his hair, tugging it between my fingers.

With a knee on the bed, he lowered me to it, never breaking our contact. He’d unclasped my bra on the way over, and he eased it off and lowered his mouth to one of my nipples. Just the feel of his breath on my skin made me thrash with surprise and arousal.

The tip of his tongue circling my nipple about unhinged me. “Oh, my God!” I gasped. “That’s so good, Luke.”

The brush of his scruff on my bare breasts made me arch my back and moan. I didn’t think I could take it. Instinct took over and I moved to push him away. But he caught my wrists in his hands and pushed them up over my head, holding them flat on the mattress with one powerful hand.

Shit, this was embarrassing. I felt the build of an orgasm just from this. My body was quivering in anticipation.

“Cold?” he asked softly, pressing a kiss between my breasts.

“No.” My voice came out shaky. I was the opposite of cold.

“Good?” He looked up and met my eyes.

“So good.”

“This is the sexiest sight I’ve ever seen,” he said in a low tone, his gaze running down my trapped arms, to my face, to my bare breasts. His free hand unbuttoned my pants and my thoughts came spilling out of my mouth.