Edge of Darkness ~ A Darkness & Light Novel Book Three (40 page)

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

One moment, the air shone and crackled with power, the next, it became suddenly dull and deathly quiet. Ciara blinked in the diminished light, her eyes going to Donovan sprawled unmoving in a scorched ring of dirt.

He is no longer among us,
Andrakaos said as he lowered his head to sniff at Donovan's body, and Ciara couldn't help feel anything but relief, regardless of the blood that bound them.

"And Darkness?" the Emperor asked, his voice lacking a bit of its usual vibrancy.

Andrakaos tipped his muzzle skyward and scented the air.
No longer within this realm.

Ciara started to ask if that meant they had destroyed it, but an anguished cry pulled her attention to Bolin in time to see him sprint across the square to where another figure lay. Ciara followed in his wake, terrified by what she would find. Ferris was on his back, eyes open but unseeing, the slow, erratic rise and fall of his chest the only indication he still lived.

Bolin fell to his knees beside him and cupped his son's face between his hands. "Look at me," he said, a low, desperate plea. "Ferris? Damn the unholies, look at me."

The Sciath's eyes drifted shut, then fluttered open again, searching until they found Bolin's face. A weak smile twisted the corner of his mouth, but it disappeared behind a grimace almost as quickly as it came. He reached up and wrapped his fingers around one of Bolin's hands, drawing it down to hold over his chest.

"There's naught… can be done," he said in a breathy whisper.

"The hells there's not."

"You are… free of it? The blinding?"

"Aye. You broke your oath."

Ferris nodded and his breath hitched. He blinked rapidly, as though trying to keep from losing focus again, and Bolin made a noise in his throat.

"Better me… than you."

Bolin lowered his forehead to rest against Ferris's. Whatever he said drew a quiet chuckle from Ferris before his breath caught again. This time his body went rigid, fists clenching, every muscle taut. Bolin lifted his face to Ciara. The undisguised anguish sent a pang through her.

"He shouldn't have done it," Bolin said. "It was too much. He couldn't channel it quickly enough."

"Can you take it from him?"

"No!" Ferris surged upwards, grasping desperately at Ciara. "It will… kill him."

"It's killing you," Bolin said, and his voice broke.

Ciara pushed Ferris gently back down, and met Bolin's eyes. "I won't allow this to happen to you. Not again."

Ferris muttered something more and pushed weakly at her, but Ciara caught his hand and held it, stroking the side of his face, and cooing nonsense. She smiled at Bolin, hoping to provide more reassurance than she felt, and then slipped into the veil.

It came with an ease that surprised her, though it took her a while to find Ferris. He stood far off in the distance before a pair of huge, plain doors, set in a glimmering wall of white, deeper in the veil than Ciara had ever been. She suppressed a sudden worry she wouldn't be able to get back, let alone bring Ferris with her.

He glanced sidelong at Ciara as she stepped up beside him. A dark, fragmented haze surrounded him, expanding and contracting like the pulsing of a heart that grew tighter with each beat.

"It's Darkness," Ferris said, his voice faint. "I forced as much as I could toward Donovan. It was a dangerous gamble, but I couldn't let Lord Bolin take it, and he meant to. He's already had a taste of it. I couldn't risk it destroying him, and I'd rather this, than uphold my oath."

"For a moment, I thought that's what you were going to do."

"I was. But I knew you would have tried to stop me, and the distraction would have given Darkness the opening it needed. He would have been lost to us."

"I'm sorry, Ferris. I didn't mean for it to come to this."

He raised a shoulder. "'Tis a better ending than it could have been."

"It could be better. I can draw the extra magic out, just like poison." Ciara only hoped she wasn't oversimplifying the threat.

Ferris shook his head. "It's too risky. You've no idea what it will do."

"Maybe not." Ciara angled a thumb back over her shoulder to where Andrakaos waited. "But I brought help, just in case. He seems to have grown rather fond of you."

We do not want to lose you.

"M'lady--"

"Please, Ferris."

He sighed and looked back toward the doors, a frown darkening his expression. "I've come close to the Halls, but never quite this close."

"Neither have I," Ciara said.

Ferris gave her a curious look. "No? Being a healer, I would've thought you'd a bit of familiarity with them."

"My experience isn't so vast as you seem to think."

Ferris didn't reply to that, just turned his face back to the doors. After a long moment of silence, he spoke again. "I had a son. Baret. He died when he was seven. He'd be a man grown now, but in my heart he'll always be a little boy. There's not a day goes by I don't think of him." He looked down and slid a foot forward, dragging it back and forth as though toeing at an invisible line, then lifted his gaze once more and jutted his chin toward the Halls. "He waits there for me. I know that for a certainty. Another step, and I could hold him in my arms again, tell him how much I love him. How much I miss him."

Ciara pursed her lips, blinking against the sudden stinging behind her eyes. "I won't stop you, Ferris. Not if that's what you truly want."

"Could you?"

She nodded. "I think so. But it's your choice. I don't know what's passed between you and Bolin, but it's obvious he loves you, and I know it's awfully selfish of me, but I'm afraid if he loses you, too…" Ciara looked hastily away and fought a losing battle against her resolve not to cry.

Ferris guided her face back around and reached up to wipe the tears from her cheek. "I've no wish to cause either of you anguish." He looked back toward the doors. "I think, if I were meant to join Baret, he'd be waiting on the stoop to greet me. I hold him in my heart and in my memory. For now, that will suffice."

She blinked at him. "So, you'll come back with me?"

"Aye. Just tell me what is it you need me to do."

"Nothing," Ciara said. "Just don't fight me."

Ciara pulled up her power, no longer the pure white earth magic of the Goddess, but something so different she doubted her Aunt Meriol would have even recognized it. As soon as she reached toward the bits of Darkness, though, they tightened around Ferris, and he cried out in pain.

"Not this time," Ciara said under her breath.

She twined her power past the jagged edges, ignoring her own discomfort as they caught on her flesh and scratched across her skin, sending tendrils of heat coursing through her. She forced her power between Darkness and Ferris, shielding him from it. Andrakaos rumbled in concern and darted forward when the haze separated from the Sciath and turned Ciara's way. A brief moment of panic washed over her before she could bring it under control. She caught up all the ends of her own power and pulled them together, gathering Darkness like broken shards of glass scooped into a cloth. Andrakaos helped guide her motions as they drew several sigils in the air, and linked them one to the other. As soon as the last two were joined, they flared brightly. Ciara averted her eyes and when she looked back, the bundled bits of Darkness were gone.

Andrakaos glided forward to wrap himself around the Sciath, purring like some huge, content cat. Something passed between them, and Ferris gave Ciara a startled look, a grin lighting up his face.

"Is that a fact, then?" he asked.

Ciara raised a brow. "Is what a fact?"

She is not yet aware.

"Aware of what?"

"It'll come to you," Ferris said with a wink, though it didn't quite hide the shadow lingering in his eyes. "I believe it's time to head back, m'lady. Wouldn't want to worry His Lordship overmuch."

He held out an arm for Ciara and, since it was obvious neither of them were going to enlighten her, Ciara hooked her arm through Ferris's and led him from the veil.

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

The Emperor's men set up camp on the outskirts of the village, and Ciara saw both Ferris and Berk bundled off to get some rest. She watched from a distance as others of the Guard built a pyre at the edge of the square and placed Donovan's body on it. Bolin lingered by her side, continuously tossing looks in the direction they'd taken Ferris.

"Go." Ciara pushed him away with her good arm, her injured one cradled in a sling, even though her own magic had begun to heal it without any interference from her, something Andrakaos felt was perfectly natural.

Bolin hesitated. "I should stay."

"You want to be with Ferris."

He tipped his head, blowing out a breath as he tried to formulate an objection.

"Go on," Ciara said. "Besides, you need rest as much as anyone."

"And you?"

"I'll be along soon. I promise."

He delayed a moment longer, then nodded, and his frown deepened. The Emperor stopped him as he walked away. Ciara couldn't hear what passed between them, but the Emperor gave Bolin's shoulder a squeeze before he continued on.

"Are there any final words you want spoken?" the Emperor asked, as he joined Ciara.

She shook her head. "There should be, I suppose, but I can't think of any."

Once, the thought of saving Donovan, of having a father, led Ciara to believe he was something other than evil. Yet, in the midst of all that had happened, his only concern remained the success of his own plans.

A single word from the Emperor sent flames roaring upwards from the piled timbers. The last time Ciara had stood before a funeral pyre, it had been her aunt's, and Ciara had allowed anger to override grief. It seemed odd to stand there and feel nothing but relief.

"How soon do you think Ferris and Berk will be fit enough to travel?" the Emperor asked.

"A few days, perhaps," Ciara said absently, fixated on the flames.

The Emperor nodded. "My sister saw fit to send me a message regarding the reason for your departure from Nisair."

It took Ciara a moment to make sense of that. Her arrest, and the Imperial Mage's threats seemed a lifetime past, and a minuscule concern in the face of what they had all just been through. "Does Bolin know?"

"Not yet. Ariadne's message arrived before we reached the Greensward. It would have done Bolin little good for me to have shared it with him then."

"Is Ariadne in trouble for sneaking me out of the city?"

A smile lifted the Emperor's mouth. "I'm certain some members of the Council would like to see her sharing a cell with you. Ferris, as well, if they had their way."

"And Bolin?"

"Yes, him also."

"At least I'll be in good company," Ciara said, trying to make light of the matter, because it seemed too far away and insignificant to worry her.

To her surprise, the Emperor laughed. "I rather doubt there are any cells in Nisair capable of holding the lot of you. I suspect it would be more trouble than anything else to attempt to keep you all confined."

"So, will there still be a trial when we return?"

"I am afraid so," he said. "I may be emperor, but even I cannot stand in opposition to the laws. The Council will have their say. Their case, however, is flimsy at best, and their courage part and parcel with my absence. All the same, Bolin will need to be told before we reach the city. He despises political maneuverings, and he'll need some time to come to terms with it so he doesn't go for the Council's throats as soon as we get back."

Ciara blew out a long sigh. As much as she would have liked to simply hand Ariadne's message to Bolin and then go hide, she knew it fell on her to tell him what had happened. "I suppose he'll take it better coming from me."

"I'm not certain he'll take it well coming from anyone." The Emperor's eyes flicked in the direction of Andrakaos's shadowy bulk, curled at the edge of the ruins. "You did well here. Both of you. There is still much you need to learn, and much we can learn from you, but it will keep until we have had time to recover."

"Do you really think this is finally over?"

"We will always have enemies," the Emperor said. "And we will always face them to the best of our abilities. But for now? Yes. I think we will have a respite. Hopefully, a long, uneventful one."

She didn't miss the way his gaze kept drifting toward Andrakaos. "Do you still think we're a threat, Your Majesty? Andrakaos and I?"

"Anyone with great power can be a threat. Not always through ill-intent. The desire to protect those we love, to uphold our oaths, can sometimes cause us to make decisions we would rather not. Or, to perhaps believe we are stronger than we are. We must always keep in mind, however, who will suffer if we are wrong."

"I imagine it would be the same people who would benefit if we are right," Ciara said. "If you'll excuse me, Your Majesty, I think I'll turn in now."

Ciara gave a quick curtsy and turned her back on the pyre. She stopped when the Emperor pointedly cleared his throat.

"It is customary to wait to be excused by your emperor, not the other way around."

Ciara sighed. "As you said, I have much to learn. If it's all the same to you, Your Majesty, could we wait a few days before I start? I just don't have the energy for lessons right now."

The Emperor studied her for a long, unnerving moment, then barked out a laugh. "I daresay, court is never going to be the same again. I can see you are going to cause quite the stir. That, in case you are wondering, is not an insult." He tipped his head. "Until the morrow, Lady."

Ciara gave another curtsy, then left him. She threaded her way through the ruins to the outskirts of the village and the collection of tents and campfires scattered along the banks of the creek. She stopped at the makeshift infirmary first, and found Berk sleeping comfortably. Three other men shared the space with him, and Ciara checked their conditions as well before asking the soldier on guard where Ferris had been taken. He pointed her in the direction of three tents set a bit off from the others, and Ciara headed for the one bearing the Knot of Cearne on the standard beside it. She literally collided with Bolin in the entrance. He put a finger to his lips, gesturing Ciara away and following after.

"I had them bring Ferris here," he said when they were out of earshot. "He's finally fallen asleep, and I think it best he stay that way for a while."

Ciara nodded agreement, scolding herself for the wave of disappointment that washed over her. She'd hoped to have Bolin to herself for the night, just to lie in his arms and forget everything that had happened. He made her feel safe, and she needed that, but she also needed to ensure herself he was all right. Especially after she reached for his hand as they crossed the camp and he moved out of her reach on the pretense of sidestepping a boulder.

The night breeze whispered around them, punctuated by the snapping of burning logs and the low voices of those men still awake. Ciara trailed behind Bolin, keeping her distance, even when he finally stopped at a point where the creek widened and ran burbling over a tumble of rocks. They stood in silence for a long time, until Bolin angled his head her way, not quite looking at her.

"How is your wrist?" he asked.

"Sore, but mending quickly. It hardly needs a sling, but Sully insisted."

He nodded, and another moment dragged out before he said, "I owe you the greatest of debts."

"You owe me nothing." Ciara took a step closer, but resisting the urge to reach out to him. Some deep fear or sorrow he fought to subdue lingered in the stillness surrounding him.

"You know what Ferris is to me?" he asked.

"Yes." 

He sucked in a deep breath, and lifted his face to the scattering of stars. He looked about to say something more, but shook his head and, with a groan, turned and pulled Ciara into an awkward embrace, careful not to crush her arm between them. He stepped back after far too short a time, and slid his hands to either side of her face to tilt it toward his, stealing the words she would have said with a desperate kiss.

"I nearly lost it all," he said when they came up for air, resting his forehead against Ciara's, his voice rough with emotion. "Everything I hold most dear in this world."

"I trust I'm included on that list."

"Never doubt that. Not for one moment."

"Then I will ask you to do the same," Ciara said.

Bolin leaned back to look down at her, his brow furrowed. "Ah," he said when it came to him, and a look of chagrin twisted his mouth. "I believe I owe Berk an apology on that score. More than one, if I had to guess. The last few days are mostly a jumbled mess, but bits of it are, unfortunately, quite clear."

"And now behind us. I'm content to leave them there, if you are."

Bolin lowered his hands to her waist. "I've still no idea how I deserve you."

"You don't," Ciara said, a haughty arch to her brow. "But I've decided to give you a chance to prove your worth."

"That could be a long haul."

Ciara shrugged and pressed closer to him, cradling her wrist between them, unable to suppress a smile when his arms slid comfortably around to keep her there. "I think it will be worth it in the end."

He studied her, his expression hidden in the shadows of the night. "I don't know how you did it, but I'm a weaker man without you by my side. You've no idea how many times over the past days I came close to driving a knife through my own chest. All that stopped me was the desire to stand just as we are now. Even if it was to be only a fleeting thing. I'm terrified of living a life without you."

"Lucky for you, then, that I feel the same."

Bolin tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and his hand strayed to the nape of her neck. "I'm not the same man I was before Nialyne's death. There are things I need to sort through and find my way past. It horrifies me to admit that part of me wanted the power Darkness offered up. I reached for it out of desire, telling myself I could control it, even when I knew that was a lie."

"You thought it was the only way you could save us," Ciara said.

"Perhaps someday I'll find a way to believe that." Bolin sighed, and looked over her shoulder for a long moment before bringing his gaze back to her. "I'm lost, Ciara. I'm not even sure I can find my way back. It's unfair to expect you to stand by me while I try, but I don't know if I can do it without you."

"You have me." She rose up on her toes to kiss him, reveling in their closeness, the strength of his arms holding her. She broke the contact briefly, a playful smirk on her face. "You might want to keep in mind, though, I'm terrible at finding my way around. We could wind up more hopelessly lost than when we started."

"I'll take my chances," he said, and some of the tension left him. "Now, should we go tell Dain he'll get his wish to preside at our pledging when we get back to Nisair?"

"Our what? I thought…"

Bolin cocked his head. "I'm a fool. You ought to know that by now. If you don't, just talk to anyone who's known me more than a day."

Ciara wanted what he offered, more than anything. Still, she hesitated. "A lot has happened."

Bolin stiffened, and started to draw away, but Ciara held him as firmly as she could with one arm in a sling.

"I'm not saying what you think I am," she said. "I would pledge to you, here and now, if I thought that's what you truly wanted. But you need time to heal, Bolin. All of this is too fresh. I don't think you've had a moment's peace since Meriol's death. I know I haven't helped much in that regard, so I'm going to now. I've no intention of losing you, or setting you aside, and I will fight for you with my last breath. Always. Set those fears aside. Until I can look into your eyes and see only a shadow of the pain and uncertainty swirling in their depths at this moment, I will place no demands upon you, or let you take any yourself."

Bolin's brow furrowed as Ciara talked, until a deep 'V' formed between his eyes. He said nothing when she finished. For a long moment he remained utterly still, and Ciara held her breath. Then, he eased back slightly, and his gaze flicked outward, moving around as though tracing her outline in the air.

"Not only am I a fool, but I was blind long before the witch came alone," he said, his voice soft, his expression smoothing as a gently smile claimed him. "There is no way I will ever be worthy of you."

Ciara ducked her head as a blush warmed her cheeks. "Once we get back to Nisair, you can--Oh." She bit her bottom lip and rolled him an apologetic look from beneath her lashes. "Um… about what's going to happen when we get back… there's something you need to know."