Edge of Desire (14 page)

“Riley—” she began, making a move as if to stand up, but he cut her off, adding, “And it’s…uh, a given that I won’t try to touch you again. Hell, I didn’t have
any right to do it in the first place. I knew it was wrong…dangerous, especially considering the hunger that’s twisting me up inside, getting more intense every day. I shouldn’t have touched you the way I did in the kitchen, but I just…I had to have at least that much,” he rasped, forcing the words from his tight throat as he turned, staring sightlessly out at the rain-drenched forest.

He counted the beats of his heart, until he heard the rustle of movement as she stood up. “Why do you think I’d want you to leave now?” she asked. “That I no longer want what I asked you for last night?”

A dry, gritty rumble of laughter vibrated in his chest. “You don’t have to lie, Hope. I don’t blame you for changing your mind. I understand.”

“Actually, I don’t think you understand me at all. Not if you think I don’t want you.”

The beats of his heart became harder…heavier, and he turned his head, slanting her a dark, questioning look over his shoulder. “What
are
you talking about?”

She pushed her hands into her pockets and lifted her shoulders, a small, kind of lopsided smile tucked into the corner of that soft, beautiful mouth that made him want to pull her into his arms and kiss some goddamn sense into her. “I trust you, Riley.”

“Christ,” he muttered as he turned back around, wondering what in hell he was going to do about her. “You look all grown up, Hope, but you’re still as starry-eyed as ever, aren’t you?”

“You know that’s not true,” she argued, a strange, surreal sense of calm surrounding her that made him feel shaky, off balance.

“Is it that you weren’t listening, or do you just not believe me?” he demanded in a clipped, hard-edged tone that lashed out like a whip, cracking and sharp. “Honest to God, Hope. Open your damn eyes. Even if you’re crazy enough not to care that I want to sink a pair of friggin’ fangs in your throat, think about what I have to offer you. Nothing. That’s it. A couple of hot, sweaty minutes of pleasure, and then I’ll be gone. If you’d think about it, you’d realize that you don’t want me coming anywhere near you. You’re not that kind of woman.”

Instead of storming out, as he’d fully expected, she took a step closer to him. The soft glow of the bedside lamp burned behind her, casting a deep, lustrous shine to the warm, heavy fall of her hair as it draped over her shoulders, her eyes heavy as she took her time studying his expression. His face tingled as she studied his eyes…the angle of his jaw…the grim set of his mouth. When she was finally holding his gaze again, she said, “I know this is going to come as a monumental shock to you, Ri, but I
am
all grown up now, and fully capable of knowing what I want. To be honest, a few hot, sweaty moments of pleasure would be about the best damn thing I’ve ever had. And you don’t have the first idea about what kind of woman I am. I want to use you for some hot sex, get you out of my system, and then I’ll wave goodbye when you walk back out my door.”

Feeling as if he was standing on a boat in the midst of a churning, thrashing sea, Riley struggled to get his feet steady beneath him, but the entire goddamn world seemed to be shifting on him, throwing him off balance. Working for his voice, he managed to scrape out a few thick, graveled words. “That’s exactly what will happen, Hope. I’ll walk out, and this time, you won’t ever see me again. I won’t stay.”

Her eyes went wide with a tender shock of surprise. “Did you really think I would expect you to?”

He stared, not a single clue what to say.

“I know you’ll leave, Riley. God, even if you could stay, why would you? I’ll be honest and admit that I’m a hopeless romantic. I still believe in true love and happily-ever-afters. I believe in hopes and dreams and beauty. Just…just not for all of us. Some of us, we have to take what we can get. Despite being a dreamer, I’m not a child. I’m not stupid, and I know better than to wish for things that I can never have. But I’m still greedy. I still want to enjoy you while you’re here. Want to get my fill of you, while I still have the chance.”

He got it then, the realization nearly knocking him back on his ass. Jesus, she honestly didn’t think she was worth it. Worth the commitment and devotion and worship that she so rightly deserved. Riley would have laughed at the irony of it, if it wasn’t so bloody painful. Hope Summers, the most beautiful, wonderful thing he’d ever known. The only thing that had held him
together all these years. Knowing that she was out there somewhere—living, breathing, existing—it had somehow given him the strength to walk that straight-assed path he’d followed, rather than sinking down like Ian had done. And he wouldn’t have had the force of will to pull himself out of the pit the way his brother had. He’d have sunk deeper…and deeper, until the end he knew was coming had no longer mattered. It would have been easier, but cowardly. And it was his memories of Hope that had kept him from taking that dive. Even knowing that she must hate his guts, he’d clung to those memories, desperate to be the kind of man she would have been proud of.

But he’d known, as a given fact, that he could never have her. It was one of those moon rising at night and shifting of the tides kinds of things. Not up for question…for debate. And as such, he could
not
get his damn head around the fact that he was standing in that room, with her smiling at him…looking so beautiful and sexy and soft that it made him tremble, offering him one last, fleeting shot at paradise, while he still had the chance to grab it.

A chance you can’t take, jackass. No matter how badly you want it.

“You’re not thinking clearly, Hope. Not thinking it through,” he rasped, knowing he had to find a way to make her see the light. Because God only knew he couldn’t mount this fight on his own. He’d never stand a chance. She’d barrel through his determination like a
force of nature, and the next thing he knew, he’d have her on that bed, beneath him, with his cock buried so deep inside her, he could feel her heartbeat…the heat of her soul. “I’m not the man you think I am. Hell, I’m hardly even a man at all. Sex with me, it wouldn’t be rosy and soft and nice. That’s not the way I am. Even if I wanted to be, there’s too much of the Merrick rising up inside me, and with each hour that goes by, its hunger is scraping me raw, wearing me down. I wouldn’t be able to control myself. My fangs will come out…my hands will change, just like last night. And I haven’t forgotten that look you had on your face when you saw them.”

She winced, giving a small, embarrassed shake of her head. “I’m sorry. It just…It took me by surprise. I just needed some time to work it out in my head, but I…I should have known that there would be a good explanation.”

“You call this good?” he barked, another bitter burst of laughter rumbling in his chest. “Christ, I’d hate to hear your idea of a bad one.”

A frown settled across her brow as she said, “I’ve always known there was something…something different about your family, Riley. Granted, I never could have imagined it was something quite like this. But…to be honest, I shouldn’t have been so surprised.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve known about it forever,” he offered in a wry, cynical drawl, “and it still shocks the hell out of me. So don’t be so hard on yourself.”

H
OPE COULD TELL
he was using sarcasm as a defense mechanism, just as she could tell that there were things he wasn’t telling her. Despite the bizarre, chilling explanations he’d given her, there was something he was holding on to…hiding it behind that dark, tormented gaze. And after everything else that she’d heard, Hope was almost afraid to know what it was. At the moment, it was taking all her strength, all her courage, just to accept the things he’d told her…and to keep fighting for what she wanted. Which was Riley, for however short a time she could have him.

“I won’t say that it doesn’t make me a little nervous, the idea of what’s inside you. But it isn’t going to scare me away. I still trust you with my life,” she told him, and it was true. She just didn’t trust him with her heart, which was why she had to keep reminding herself that what she wanted from him was purely sexual. No promises. No emotions.

And do you really think that saying it over and over is going to make it true? It doesn’t work that way, Hope. You know that.

Ignoring the quietly worded question, she took another step toward him, adding, “I meant what I said, Riley. I still want you.”

He lifted his right hand with its battered knuckles and scraped his fingers through his hair, his eyes blazing with a torrent of emotion. “It’s not going to happen, Hope. I won’t do that to you. I
can’t.
You don’t deserve it.”

“That’s my decision to make, not yours,” she argued, struggling to find a way to get through to him.

“Just…stop,” he growled, holding up his hand as she tried to close the distance between them. “Please.” He looked tired, the deep hollows carved into his cheeks only accentuating his haunting beauty. He was impossibly gorgeous, not to mention mouthwateringly sexy, but it was the shadow of fear…of soul-deep need that darkened his beautiful blue eyes that tore at her. Made her ache to touch him and hold him and offer him everything that she could. But he was so set on arguing…on fighting it to the bitter end.

“I don’t get it,” she whispered. “I could see you being afraid to touch me because you didn’t want me finding out the truth. Didn’t want to frighten me. But I know the truth now, so what’s the problem? I won’t glom on to you. Won’t expect anything you aren’t willing to give. Won’t beg you to stay, when I know you’re so set on going. If you meant all those things you said last night, then why not just do it, Riley? Why not just give me what I want? After everything that’s happened, damn it, you owe it to me!”

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he held his jaw with a rigid tension as he said, “You might know the truth, Hope. Might claim you’re not afraid of me. But that doesn’t change anything. The Casus are still out there, waiting. Watching. Getting involved with me would just put you in deeper, deadlier danger.”

A shaky, tremulous burst of laughter spilled from her
mouth, making him scowl. Holding up her hands, she said, “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t funny. But think about it, Riley. I think the cat’s already out of the bag on that one. You just beat the crap out of the school bully behind the bleachers for me. The gig is up.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“It’s a metaphor,” she explained, wishing there was some way to smooth the hard, jagged edges of his tension, his body held in a visible clutch of strain. “If the Casus are out there, well, it’s got to be common knowledge by now that we have a history. Our sleeping together isn’t going to change that fact, or make it any worse. So you’re going to have to do better than that.”

“Damn it,” he growled, his hard, lean muscles shaking with some violent, explosive force of emotion, while his sharp male energy blasted against her, burning her face. “This isn’t a damned joke. If the Casus get their hands on you, you’re going to wish you were never born, Hope. They get off on pain…torture, and then they’ll rip you to pieces. That’s a helluva thing to risk for a woman I don’t love. For one I don’t plan on sticking around to protect. One I’m using for sex until I find what I want and then haul my ass out of town.”

His words struck with the painful force of a blow, just as he’d meant for them to. But she wasn’t going to crumple so easily. With her hands clutched into damp, shaking fists, she wet her bottom lip, then carefully said, “I’m not asking you to love me, Riley. I’m not even asking you to stay. All I want is to know what it’s like
to be under you, with you inside me. To be a part of you, for however long you’re here. And if the Casus do decide to come after me, then the closer we are, the easier it’ll be for you to protect me.”

He flinched, saying, “God, Hope, don’t do that.”

There was a tremor to his words that tugged at her heart, making her want to wrap him up in her arms and hold him, offering the comfort he so obviously needed. “What, Riley? What is it that you don’t want me to do?”

“Put your faith in me,” he rasped, the hoarse words shaky and rough. “I’m warning you right now. It’s a bad move.”

She could tell from his expression, from the haunted look in his deep blue eyes, that for whatever reason, he still saw himself as a threat to her. “What aren’t you telling me, Riley?”

He stared into her eyes for a long, breathless moment, then gave a curt shake of his head. “I can’t, Hope. I just…can’t.”

She didn’t know if he meant the sex…or the confession or, hell, maybe he meant both. But she could see from the strain of his expression that he wasn’t going to give in.

And when he turned his back on her, his broad, powerful shoulders hard with a gripping tension beneath the soft cotton of his shirt, Hope took it for the final rejection she knew it was meant to be.

“Watch your back,” she whispered, her own shoul
ders heavy with the weight of disappointment. Despite how hard she’d tried, she still couldn’t get through to him. “Just…don’t take any chances, Riley. Millie and I are being careful, but you need to make sure that you look out for yourself.”

Then she turned, walked out the door and headed back into the rain.

Wednesday morning

T
HE SECOND
K
ELLAN
touched his shoulder, Riley’s eyes flew open, the grim look on the Watchman’s face warning him that something had happened. Something bad. “What?” he croaked, jerking up into a sitting position. “What is it? Is Hope all right?”

“She’s fine,” Kellan told him, stepping back and sitting down on the second double bed. “It’s the bastard ex.”

“I’m going to kill him,” Riley growled, throwing back the sheet as he surged to his feet, grabbing the jeans that he’d laid on the foot of his bed. “Where is he? If he’s so much as laid a hand on her, I’m going to—”

“Riley, man, calm down,” Kellan murmured, holding up his hands. “I told you that Hope’s fine. But Capshaw is dead.”

He froze, his fingers gripping onto handfuls of denim so hard that his knuckles were white. “What do you mean he’s dead? How can he be dead?”

“They found his body in his motel room,” Kellan explained. “He’d been torn up…bitten. Hell, you know the
routine. They think it happened late Monday night, and the cops don’t have a clue what’s going on. I feel sorry for the bastards. No matter how hard they try, they’re going to have a heck of a time getting to the bottom of this one.”

“His fingers?” Riley grunted, trying to wrap his head around it. The noise in his brain was deafening—a jumbled, crashing blend of his pulse and too many angry, condemning voices all shouting at once.

“His fingers were missing, same as the girl up in Wellsford,” Kellan said with a tired sigh. “Which means Gregory’s body count is stacking up. He’s still hanging around, but God only knows what he’s waiting for. I’m starting to find it hard to believe he’s still just biding his time, waiting for us to find that bloody Marker.”

“I don’t like it,” he muttered, buttoning his fly and pulling on a T-shirt, then reaching for the shoulder holster and gun that he’d left on the bedside table. “You’re right. He wouldn’t be this patient, unless he had a reason.”

“And why go after the ex?” Kellan asked as he leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his spread knees, his hands clasped loosely together between his legs. “Gregory must know that no one’s going to be upset over that asshole’s loss. Least of all you.”

Checking to make sure he had a full clip in the Beretta, Riley snapped the gun into the holster. “How did you hear?” he asked, dreading having to face Hope after this…and wondering just how she was taking it.

“Millie told me when I went up to the house for some coffee.”

Clearing his throat, Riley glanced through the window at the pouring rain that would make it impossible to dig before it let up, and said, “What was Hope doing? How’s she taking it?”

“I didn’t see her, but Millie said she was holding together. Thinks she’s more shocked than anything else right now. She was working in the kitchen when I left, keeping busy.”

Riley wanted to go to the café and check on her, but couldn’t get past the idea that she might slap his face when she saw him. Couldn’t get past the fear that she might finally look at him and with hatred and revulsion for the chaos he was wreaking on her life.

Picking up his phone, he stared down at the keypad, thinking he could call her first…try to get a read on her that way. She might scream at him, but he could take it. He just needed to hear her voice, damn it. To know that she was okay.

Punching in the number, he lifted the phone to his ear. She picked up on the first ring, saying, “Riley, thank God. I was just getting ready to call you.”

He could tell by the tone of her voice that something was wrong. Something more immediate than Neal Capshaw’s murder. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she answered in swift reply, though he could hear a tremor that sounded suspiciously like fear in her words. Before he could question her, she said, “But there’s someone in the café. He hasn’t done anything. Just ordered some coffee and took a table over in
the far corner of the room. But there’s a really weird vibe about him. I don’t know. I mean, I feel crazy for bothering you, but after Neal—”

“What’s he look like?” he asked, cutting her off as he started pulling on his boots.

“Attractive. Muscled and tall, like you and Kellan. Chin-length, golden-brown hair.” She paused, then lowered her voice as she said, “But his eyes are what’s strange. I swear they’re the same pale, icy blue you told me the Casus have, even when they’re in human form.”

“Stay the hell away from him,” he ordered, his heart racing as he snatched up a flannel shirt to cover his gun. He jerked his chin toward Kellan, who’d already moved to his feet, signaling that they needed to go. “And don’t go anywhere by yourself,” he was saying as they went through the door. “In fact, make Millie stay in the front with you, behind the counter. We’re on our way.”

Filling Kellan in while they ran like hell for the house, Riley knew that no more than thirty seconds had passed by before they reached the café. He spotted the human-looking Casus the second he ripped open the front door, the blast of warm air doing little to ease the cold burn of fear twisting through his insides. Not for his own life, but for those of the people around him. Hope, Millie, Kellan. The innocent customers enjoying breakfast on a rainy Wednesday morning.

The Casus was sitting at one of the back tables in the far corner of the café, just as Hope had said. He was wearing a black T-shirt and a cocky smile, his muscular
arms crossed on the tabletop. A cup of coffee sat before him, and as he watched Kellan move to Riley’s side, their bodies held hard and tight with predatory aggression, he lifted the mug to his smiling lips for a drink, acting as though he didn’t have a care in the world.

Riley had known, the instant he set eyes on him, that it was Gregory.

Casting a swift glance at Hope and Millie to make sure they were behind the counter, Riley stalked toward the table. “You have a lot of nerve coming here,” he rasped, careful to keep his voice low. “What do you want?”

“You know what I want,” the monster drawled, leaning back in his chair. He lifted one sun-darkened hand and scratched lazily at his chest. “But for now, I just wanted to gloat a little. Maybe even hear a thank-you for ridding you of that worthless worm of a human. God, you should have seen him. It was pathetic, how he refused to give in. And the harder he fought—” he paused as his smile widened, looking somehow grotesque as it spread across his face “—the longer I made it last.”

Riley heard the breathless sound that Hope made, and flinched, knowing he’d brought this on her…that he’d dragged it into her world. This violence and evil and danger. He might not have killed Capshaw, but he was the reason the man had been targeted. The reason he was dead.

And that means this asshole knows about Hope. Knows your dark, dangerous little secret.

Shaking off the terrifying thought, Riley focused on keeping the fear out of his eyes as he listened to Gregory say, “I realize I was doing you a favor, which…let’s face it…just isn’t my thing. But I couldn’t have ol’ Capshaw getting to her first, damaging what I plan to hurt. Where’s the fun in that?”

“You wanna have some fun?” he snarled, the vicious, guttural rasp of his voice no longer something that was entirely human, the Merrick seething beneath his skin, outraged at the fact that it couldn’t break its way out of him and tear into the murderous monster. “Let’s take this someplace private, Gregory, and I’ll give you all the fun you can handle.”

Shaking his head, the Casus lifted one hand to push a sun-streaked lock of brown hair from his brow, a mocking note of humor in his deep voice as he said, “What’s that expression? The one about writing checks that your ass can’t cash? That would be you, Buchanan. Or have you forgotten that your search hasn’t turned up that precious little cross you’re looking for?”

Bracing his hands on the table, Riley leaned forward, knowing the Casus could see the gun resting beneath his open flannel shirt. “You never know, Gregory. Maybe I’m simply planning to put a bullet in your head, sending your ugly ass straight back to Meridian. After all the trouble you’ve caused, I doubt they’ll be letting you out any time soon.”

Gregory tilted back his head and gave a rich, husky
rumble of laughter. “Oh, God, that would be priceless, just to see the look on Calder’s face.”

Riley was about to ask who this Calder was, knowing that Gregory had mentioned him before to Saige, but Kellan cut in to the conversation, saying, “Where are your buddies, Gregory?”

“I’m afraid I’m playing for my own team now,” the Casus drawled.

“I guess that means you have some pretty stiff competition for me then,” Riley remarked in a gritty slide of words. “Worried someone is going to get to me first, Gregory? Steal your chance for revenge? I know there’s at least one Casus who you’re poaching on. I doubt they’re going to be very happy with you.”

“You mean the one who jump-started you?” The corner of the Casus’s mouth kicked up in a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, Merrick. I have things under control.” Sniffing the air, he added, “And at any rate, you’re still not ripe enough yet. They’re all just going to bide their time, which leaves the playing field wide-open for me.” Leaning forward, he lowered his voice to a soft, husky whisper as he said, “And who do you think I’m going to play with next? Any guesses?”

One second the Casus was sitting there wearing a shit-ass grin, and in the next Riley had his hands fisted in the fabric of Gregory’s shirt, ripping him to his feet and slamming him against the back wall of the café. Behind them, there was a mad scrambling of bodies as customers moved to put distance between themselves
and what they probably thought was going to turn into a fight. Thankfully, there was no one sitting at the nearby tables, but they still had the attention of every person in the room.

“Riley!” Hope called out, and he watched her move closer from the corner of his eye, stepping from behind the counter.

Gregory gave another low, wicked rumble of laughter, something cold and evil burning in the depths of his pale, chilling gaze. “I’m going to enjoy taking you apart, Merrick. But—” he nodded his head toward Hope “—not as much as I enjoy her. For her, I’m going to do everything I can to make it last. To make it count.”

It wasn’t easy, but Riley refused to let Gregory get any more of a rise out of him than he already had. Choking back his fear for Hope’s safety, he forced a sarcastic sound from his throat, and shook his head. “You guys need some new lines. Ian told me your brother made the same pathetic threats about his woman, and look what happened to him.” Enjoying the flare of rage in the Casus’s eyes, Riley leaned closer, getting right in the bastard’s face as he said, “Tell me, Gregory. Will you run when I face you down with the cross? I heard you did before. Quinn and Saige told us all about how you left your buddy Royce behind to die, and ran to save your own pathetic ass.”

“I was smart enough to choose my fights, Buchanan.
Going up against a Raptor with a Marker is a lot different than going up against you. And you don’t have your pretty little cross yet, do you?”

“You’re right, I don’t,” he admitted, giving a sharp smile as he lifted his brows. “So just what are you holding out for, Gregory? Why not have a go at me right now? Is it my awakening you’re waiting for?” He narrowed his eyes, searching for the answers in Gregory’s icy gaze. “Or is it something else?”

“I’m afraid you’ll just have to wait and see,” Gregory drawled, obviously not going to tell them anything more. “I hate to give away the ending.”

Just wanting the son of a bitch to get the hell out of there, Riley finally released his hold on Gregory’s shirt and took a step back, wishing like crazy that he had the means to go ahead and fry the asshole now. The Casus straightened his shirt, then walked to the table and tossed a wad of bills beside the empty cup of coffee. Casting a meaningful look toward Hope, he said, “Till later, sweetheart.” And then he walked across the floor…and out the front door.

Riley had no more than a second to reach out and grab hold of Kellan’s arm before the Watchman rushed past him. “Where do you think you’re going?” he grunted, spinning the younger man back around.

Kellan shot him a look as if to say
are you crazy?
“What do you mean where am I going?” he forced out through his gritted teeth. “I’m going to follow him.”

“And do what?” Riley demanded, distantly aware of
Millie doing her best to calm the other customers, assuring them that everything was fine.

“I’m going to give the son of a bitch exactly what he deserves.”

“Not without a Marker you aren’t,” he argued, understanding only too well how Kellan felt, but knowing he couldn’t just let the Watchman rush off to his death. “You might have gotten away from those Casus the other night, but Gregory isn’t going to just lie down and let you rip into him, Kell. I’m not going to let you take that risk.”

Vibrating with a sharp, explosive rage, Kellan said, “You don’t have the authority to tell me what to do, Ri.”

“But I do have a gun,” he snapped.

The Watchman gave a low, sarcastic laugh. “What? Are you going to shoot me now?”

“I will if I have to. If it’s going to keep you from doing something stupid.”

“I’m outta here,” Kellan muttered, pulling out of his hold and heading for the door.

“Damn it,” he snarled, following the Watchman outside. A light, drizzling mist of rain floated on the salty wind, the crashing of the waves against the cliffs accompanied by the distant rumble of another storm brewing out over the churning gray waters of the Pacific.