Edge of Mercy (Young Adult Dystopian)(Volume 1) (The Mercy Series) (18 page)

Ugh!
When would they get here? The waiting was making it much worse.

I looked at the guards, doing what they did best—staring straight ahead, talking low to each other, and completely ignoring me. Maybe I could sneak away. A quick glance behind me, and I found the grate Zeke and I used weeks ago to overhear the woman’s verdict. I remembered the outline of a door, and though I couldn’t see how it swung open from here, I could probably figure it out. Then what? Then I’d run to the tower, and…go nowhere. It was dark, and I didn’t even have Star. I refused to leave without Star. I couldn’t leave her to a fate I wasn’t willing to take on myself, if I even survived beyond the walls of the community. The odds were still against me.

Somehow, I’d have to wait and bide my time until an opportunity to escape with Star presented itself. Until that time, I planned to keep my eyes and ears open, learn as much as I could about what my fate here would be, and find a way to convince the Council they didn’t need to bring me harm to get my cooperation. In reality, they’d never get my help, but I wasn’t rushing to reveal that information. Instead, I’d have to persuade them if they gave me freedom, I’d do whatever they said. It would be a lie, but like I’d already told Zeke, lying was something I was willing to do to keep Star and myself safe.

As I waited, my eyelids began to get heavy, and I fought to stay awake. My body and mind were exhausted, but I didn’t dare go to sleep and lose an opportunity to save myself. I needed to stay alert, aware of chances for escape.

Finally, the door opened and the members of the Council filed in one by one and took their seats at the semi-circle table in the center of the room. The guards approached, lifted me from my seat, and positioned me in front of the men still settling themselves in their seats. These callous men would decree a cruel consequence on me for protecting myself. They wouldn’t see it my way, but what I’d done was no worse than the things they had to protect themselves. Matter of fact, what I’d done was playtime compared to what they’d done to the females of their community. Maybe I’d use that in my defense. They deserved a punishment for their behavior, and should answer to the men and boys who had to sacrifice their wives, mothers, daughters, and other ones they loved at the whim of a group of men with goat crap for brains.

I heard the door open again. A quick look behind me showed Thomas and Peter slipping in the door and taking seats. The first thing I thought was one of them had to be my accuser. Peter never liked me, but he’d never indicated I’d lied about who I was.
Please, don’t let it be Thomas.

“Charlie Little, we’ll begin your trial as soon as the accuser arrives.”

I closed my eyes and released a held breath. Relief flooded my mind. Thomas wasn’t the one accusing me. He hadn’t been the one who’d told the Council. Part of me had known he’d never betray me, but trust was in shorter supply than meat around here in the last few weeks.

Yet, if Thomas wasn’t my accuser, that meant it had to be Zeke or Quillen. Neither possibility held any more appeal. Quillen had his own personal agenda, but he was fighting for what he thought was right. Though I didn’t agree with his methods, I knew he thought he was saving the world. That would push anyone to do things that others might find despicable. Understanding his motives didn’t make what was to come any easier to take, and I’d fight it with everything in me.

Quillen as accuser wasn’t personal though. The other possible accuser I’d considered my closest friend, and a betrayal from him would devastate me. Zeke believed I’d deceived him, my best friend, and put everyone in danger. Though I didn’t want to admit it, I couldn’t argue against any of that. Good intentions would be meaningless in a world so full of danger. But it would break my heart if Zeke came through that door and pointed his finger at me, condemning me to a fate worse than death.

Around me, the men talked and laughed amongst themselves. I bristled at their inattention. It was clear my worth was less than the few ground-crawling insects that remained in the Dead Forest. I was only worthwhile if they could use me. Before they learned I was female, it was for the work I could provide in the field. A shudder ran through my body at the thought of what I’d become to them now. I should have left the community earlier.

After a short while, the door behind me swung open, and a shiver ran down my spine. The room fell silent, but I couldn’t make myself turn around. I knew I wouldn’t like what I saw.

Jonas’s gaze flew to whoever was at the door as his voice echoed through the room, “Yes, yes. Come in. We can finally get started now.”

Chapter 15

I gripped the sides of my hood and lowered it, readying myself for the pain and shock I was sure I was about to experience. My heartbeat raced to a dangerous level. If Zeke stood behind me, the sight of him might just bring me to my knees.

A slow turn of my head finally brought my accuser into focus, and my knees went weak but remained locked. For the second time in so many days, the swirling darkness in his eyes flashed before my face. Though he was across the room, I could feel and smell his hot breath on me again, and a sudden desire to run as fast and as far as I could overcame me, but I held perfectly still, barely daring to breath. Victor stood in the doorway, a smirk firmly planted on his mouth.

As we stared at each other, I noted he didn’t look so good, and I took a little pride in the bruise spread out under his eyes and the slight crook to his nose. But, the feeling didn’t stay with me long. In a sense, he would get the last jab today.

He stepped into the room and didn’t stop until he stood a few feet to the left of me, facing the Council. The satisfaction rolled off him in waves. He’d get his revenge.

Jonas addressed Victor first, “Tell the Council how you came to discover the truth about Charlie.”

I waited on edge, every nerve on fire, to hear what he would say. I’d been sure I was so careful, covering myself from head to toe in oversized clothing, shaving my head constantly, never allowing my natural instincts to surface, but I was not careful enough apparently. Somehow, someone saw right through my disguise.

“I hate being so overlooked here. Everyone mostly ignores me as I move around, but invisibility has its uses, and I’ve gotten really good at getting places without being noticed. It was a time like that, when I was hiding from and watching the fieldworkers in the forest that I saw her,” he stopped and pointed at me before continuing, “and from watching my sister before, I knew there was something similar about the way Charlie behaved. So, I continued to spy on her day after day, and she didn’t bother to hide it when she thought no one was watching. I’ve seen enough to know she’s a female.”

My skin crawled at the thought of being viewed without my knowing, especially now that I knew Victor was nuttier than squirrel poop. A shiver slid down my spine. Now those times in the forest I’d seen shadows in the trees made sense. Victor had followed me, gathering evidence. I’d thought the scariest thing in the forest was a Draghoul. Boy, I’d been way off.

I swallowed hard as Jonas switched his hard gaze to me, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. It was obvious he enjoyed this.

“Charlie Little, you’ve been accused of deceit in the way you represented yourself to the community. The current laws of this community dictate that no female shall be allowed to take shelter within the walls, as they are an attractant for the Draghoul and put us all at risk of death. What do you have to say for yourself?”

I knew what I wanted to say. It took everything in me to hold back the words anxiously sitting on my tongue. I wanted to rail at them about how ignorant their decision to send their women away had really been. Did they really believe they’d done this community good? Didn’t they realize how they’d injured the men and the boys emotionally? Even the one standing next to me, as despicable as I found him personally, had been shaped by their fatal choice. But, I knew I couldn’t go that way, couldn’t jeopardize any mercy they might show me. As futile as it might be to believe, some, if not all of the council members still possessed enough basic decency to treat me as a human being, not an object of which they could take full advantage. I held onto that ideal as I decided what to say to them.

And there was no reason to deny the accusation. The evidence would be obvious, not to mention humiliating, if they decided to check for themselves.

In the end, I had to stay calm and do my best to persuade with rational logic. I couldn’t give them any excuse to justify what they planned to do to me. So, I lowered my gaze to the floor, and answered, “I didn’t understand why at the time, but my mother insisted I dress and act like a boy. I see now she was trying to protect me.”

“Protect
you
, but endanger us.”

I tamped down my rising anger. “Yes, well, I don’t believe her intention was to endanger anyone. I think she was just trying to safeguard her children.”

“Hmm…yes, I can understand that. A mother will go to great lengths for her children.”

A glimmer of hope filled my chest. For the first time, I allowed myself to entertain the possibility this trial could end in my favor. Would they allow me to go on as I had before, only no longer hiding my identity?

“We have recently amended the law barring females from the community, allowing for special circumstances.”

Hope fanned like a flame at his words. The situation was looking less dire every moment. They understood and, though I could hardly believe it, Star and I might be okay.

“You have no need to fear any punishment here.”

I met his gaze fully and allowed a small smile to ease onto my face.

“You are, of course, of childbearing age and can be of great use to us.”

My heart stopped. No breath would fill my lungs as his words sunk in. The hope I’d felt blooming under my ribs died instantly, and the smile fell from my face. It was just as I’d feared, only worse because he’d led me to believe everything would be okay.

“Out of necessity, you’ll live out the rest of your days underground, and you will have a unique purpose here, bearing children for the preservation of our community.”

I began to shake my head back and forth slowly. Like flood waters over a dam, my anger rose, and I took three steps forward before the guards stopped my progress with restraining hands on my arms. It took a moment for the words to form, but through clenched teeth, I said, “I will not be your broodmare. Go ahead and send me out at sundown because I’ll die before I allow you to use me like that.”

“You’re far too valuable, and we won’t give you over to the Draghoul. You wanted safety, and we’ll give it, but nothing is free, Charlie. Uh…should we still call you Charlie?”

Something like an electric volt shot through my body and pushed me into action, lunging at the hateful face of the council member decreeing such horrific ideas as if he were discussing the crop yields. The fighter in me worked to free myself from the guards’ locked-tight grips, and though I freed one arm, it was quickly captured again. As the futility of my actions sunk in, I settled down, heaving great breaths of air to replace all I’d spent in my vain attempt to free myself and get at the smirking face in front of me.

My look of disgust deepened. He was worse than the Draghoul. They would rip a person to shreds, but you knew that when you encountered one. Jonas misled and manipulated all the while giving you a feeling like he was helping you. As monsters went, he was the worst kind there was, the kind whose attack you never saw coming until it was too late.

A frustrated sound escaped my mouth as I pulled at my arms once more, but same as before, it was a useless attempt. If I couldn’t use my fists to harm him, I’d have to rely on my words.

“You’re a coward! You hide behind these walls, in the belly of this…this prison, and you wield power you don’t deserve. Preserve this community? After you’ve already destroyed it? What’s the point?” I hadn’t hurt him yet, but I was sure my next words would. “I know something about you that maybe the others here would be interested to know. I know why you sent your wife away…really.”

“I have nothing to hide. Guards! Remove her to her new room in the special hall. I think a night or two there will make her more biddable.”

“Does your son know you’re not his real father? Do these people know why you wanted your wife to die? Tell them if you have nothing to hide.”

“Enough! Bind her wrists and take her out of here. This trial is adjourned. Sentence is served.”

Horror clawed at my abdomen. I looked around the room desperately, searching for anyone who might help me. No one met my gaze. Not even Thomas.

“Thomas, please. Help me! Don’t let them do this to me.” My voice cracked and ended on a sob. But he continued to stare at the floor, his face hard as stone. That, more than anything, took the fight right out of me. No one, not even my self-proclaimed protector, was defending me.

The guards carried me through the exit and turned toward the darkened hallways. With a hand-held lantern, they continued to take turns that I didn’t recognize, continuing past Victor’s room with the lamplight spilling out, until they came to a steel door at the end of a very long hallway.

One of the guards pulled out a ring of keys, and in the moment it took him to search for the right one, I attempted to appeal to any basic decency they might have. “John, surely you had a mother, a sister, an aunt, or someone you cared about. Would you want her to be treated like this?” He gave no reaction, just continued to search the keys, so I turned to the other guard, “Levi, you can help me. Just let me go. I’ll take my sister and leave here. I won’t trouble this community anymore.”

Neither acknowledged I’d said anything at all. Instead, John lifted a key toward the door, fitting it into the keyhole and twisting with a sharp click.

As the door swung open, I struggled to free myself again and feral grunts escaped my throat with every try, but still they dragged me into the barely-lit darkness, their pace slow and cautious. Though they still clamped my arms tightly, I noticed a change in the air, in the way they moved through the space of the hallway. They tightened closer to me, but the closer they got, the more I struggled, emitting sharper little screams the further they took me.