Edge of the Past (6 page)

“Liza’s father had blue eyes,” Elena said sharply.

“
My
blue eyes?”

“You make mistake.” She started to walk away, but Sergei blocked her path.

“I don’t think so,” he said. “I think the reason you didn’t want to talk to me yesterday and the reason you tried to run out of here with Liza was because you didn’t want me to see her.”

“Liza is not your concern. You have life in America. I have life here. You marry soon.” Elena waved her hand at me. “Stop with questions!”

A pair of skaters and their mothers came through the glass doors and gave us curious stares. I returned them with my own icy glare, hoping it would drive the onlookers away. It worked.

“I have a right to know if she’s my child,” Sergei said, sounding more desperate with every word. “Why would you deny me that?”

Elena’s chin began to tremble and she turned away from us, staring across the snow-covered parking lot. The sick feeling I’d had since the previous afternoon spread from my stomach to my heart. I couldn’t blame Elena for wanting to be left alone. But Sergei deserved to know the truth.

“What do you do if she is yours?” Elena asked in a shaky voice.

Sergei took a slow step forward. “You’re saying it’s true.”

“What do you do?” Elena faced Sergei, her eyes burning with her question.

“I’d want to be part of her life.”

There was no hesitation in Sergei’s response. He’d apparently moved from shock to certainty in a short period of time. I wished I could do the same, but I was stuck in amazement at the turn of events.

“She do not know I am her mother,” Elena choked. “My father think it best–”

“Your father!” Sergei exclaimed. “You’re still letting him control your life?”

“No, he is gone now!”

Sergei’s face froze. “He’s…?”

Elena settled her chin and spoke quieter, “He suffer illness long time. He pass away six months ago.”

Sergei slowly rubbed his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry.”

I opened my mouth to add my condolences but decided Elena probably wouldn’t hear me. She was singularly focused on Sergei, and Sergei looked only at her. I felt like an even more distant observer.

“I do not tell Liza she is mine,” Elena said. “It is not right for her now.”

“I know it will be hard for her, but she should know the truth,” Sergei said.

“It give her so much confusion.” Elena shook her head. “How can I tell her everything is lies?”

“Don’t you want her to know who you really are?”

“I take care of her as mother. That is enough.”

“I don’t think you really believe that. You were robbed of all those years just like I was. We can make this right.”

Elena covered her face with her hands. “I cannot think what is right.”

My head spun from the emotional exchange. Things were happening too fast. Someone needed to slow down the runaway train of confessions and demands.

I touched Sergei’s forearm. “Can we talk for a minute?”

Sergei kept his eyes on Elena for a moment before he moved down the sidewalk with me, leaving Elena sniffling to herself. I placed my hands on both sides of Sergei’s face, caressing his prickly stubble with my thumbs.

“We don’t have to make any big decisions right now,” I said.

“We’re only here for two more days,” he said. “There’s no time to take it slow. I can’t go home without resolving this.”

“I don’t know that Elena will agree to resolve anything.”

“I need Liza to know who I am. I can’t just leave without…” He shot an anxious look toward the rink.

My hands slid down the front of his jacket. “If you go to her now, then you have to leave her in two days. This is going to be such a shock for her. Maybe it would better to wait.”

“I’ve lost nine years already. I don’t want to lose another day.”

I sighed in exasperation. Sergei sounded so certain he was ready to be a father, but he hadn’t even asked how I felt about it. He was caught up in emotion and not thinking. Somehow, I had to make him understand the consequences of what he was suggesting.

“It sounds like Liza has been through a ton of changes in the past year with her parents dying, then moving to a different country… Adding another huge change might not be a good idea.”

“But this would be a good change. She’d have parents again.”

Excited optimism filled his voice, and the hope in his eyes was so pure. I couldn’t imagine what he must be feeling. But I knew what I was feeling – fear. Fear that our future was about to change in a massive way.

“Sergei,” Elena called.

He looked up over the top of my head, and I turned to see Elena approach. She dabbed at her eyes and asked, “Why you ask me to do this? Why this is so important to you?”

Sergei paused and wet his lips. “I’ve never stopped thinking about what happened to our child. I’ve always wanted to know if they had a good family–“

“Liza have everything,” Elena interrupted. “I give her everything she needs. Best tutor, best coach… When my cousins pass away, my father help me bring Liza here and make sure she have good life.”

“How did they die?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

Elena’s eyes misted over again. “Terrible car accident. When we receive phone call, I do not believe it. They take Liza as baby and give her good home. They let me see her.”

“So, she’s always known you as her cousin,” I said.

“It is good she know me so when I bring her to Russia, she is not with stranger.”

“You’ve been in contact with her all these years and you couldn’t let me know?” Sergei asked. “You couldn’t call me and tell me she was okay?”

“If I tell you, you want to see her and my father not allow it. You know I do not cross him.”

“Of course. He always had to keep me away,” Sergei said, his words as biting as the cold stinging my face.

I reached for his arm and gave it a squeeze. He looked down at the frozen ground, closing his eyes. We stood motionless until Sergei slowly lifted his head.

“I don’t want to fight. I just don’t know what else to do except to beg of you to please talk to Liza.” He took a deep breath. “Lena, please. All I want is to get to know her, to show her she has someone else she can call family.”

Elena set her glistening eyes on Sergei. “Do you try to take her from me?”

“No. I would never do that. She needs both of us.”

“You promise?” she spoke louder. “You swear that?”

“Yes. You could always trust me. I know it’s been a long time, but that hasn’t changed.”

They stared at each other, and my throat tightened as I witnessed a flicker of the connection between them. The connection of all those years, partnering on the ice and loving each other off it. Their time apart hadn’t completely erased it.

“Okay,” Elena whispered. “I try. I try tonight to tell her.”

“Thank you,” Sergei said hoarsely. “We’re here only a couple more days, so I’d like to see her as soon as I can.”

“I tell you good time to come. I do not know how she take this.” Elena pulled a tissue from her purse and patted the corners of her eyes. “I go inside. Liza may look for me.”

“Let me give you my phone number so you can reach me,” Sergei said.

Elena took out her cell phone and tapped in the digits. Sergei asked for hers, and she hesitated before relaying them.

“Are you living in your father’s house?” Sergei asked.

“Yes. It is good place for Liza and me. It is home.” She emphasized the last word, seemingly as a reminder to Sergei in case he thought of breaking his promise.

Elena hurried inside, and I expelled a long breath. Sergei turned to me, and we stood in silence for a minute.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

I’m thinking
we should’ve discussed this before you set it all
in motion.
I’m thinking the more I’m around Elena, the more uncomfortable I am.

“Em?”

I looked up into Sergei’s thoughtful gaze and remembered how emotional he’d been when we talked about his past. He wouldn’t be making such rash decisions if they didn’t come from his heart. I had to try to understand how he felt. He needed my support more than ever.

“I think you should prepare yourself for Liza’s reaction,” I said. “When Elena gives her the news, she might not be open to seeing you right now. I just want you to be ready for that.”

“I hope Elena tells her it wasn’t our choice to give her away.”

“I doubt she’s going to tell her that her grandfather was the one who orchestrated it all. But hopefully she’ll explain it was out of your control.”

Sergei brought me into his arms and buried his face in my hair. “Thank you for being so understanding. You are amazing.”

I held onto him, willing myself to ignore my swirling emotions and to look at the situation objectively. Sergei had been given such a wonderful gift. We’d always conquered challenges together, and we’d do the same here. I had to stand strong by Sergei’s side because who knew what was going to happen once Liza found out the truth.

Chapter Six

“Are you ready for this?” I asked Sergei as we walked hand in hand up to his parents’ door.

“Are
you
ready?” He squeezed my palm. “Your mom’s not going to be happy you weren’t honest with her.”

“I don’t think that’s going to be her biggest issue with all this.”

Sergei knocked on the door, and Anna opened it with a smile and kisses for both of us. My parents sat in the tiny living room, drinking more Kvass. Dad had his big camera bag in his lap, ready to play tourist.

“You have good visit with Elena?” Anna asked.

“Yes,” Sergei said. “It was very… surprising.”

“How’s that?” Mom asked.

Sergei started to answer but was distracted by Max emerging from the kitchen. “You don’t have work today, Papa?” he asked in Russian.

“I worked all night. I’m about to sleep.”

Oh, man.
I hadn’t planned on Max being there
.
His attitude wasn’t what we needed in this conversation.

“Can you sit with us a few minutes?” Sergei asked in Russian and then switched to English. “There’s something I need to tell everyone. About our visit with Elena.”

Mom set her drink on a coaster on the small side table and braced her hands on the arms of her chair. Sergei and I took deliberate steps toward the sofa while Anna brought two chairs from the dining table into the living room.

Sergei leaned forward and pressed his hands together, taking a moment before he looked up at my parents. “There was more to my split with Elena than we’ve told you. Elena’s father didn’t break up our partnership just because he didn’t want us involved. He sent her away because she was pregnant.”

Mom’s mouth opened, and there was a pause before she emitted, “Huh!” I glanced at Max, and he’d folded his arms tightly across his chest.

Sergei continued, “I apologize for not telling you the truth, but it’s something I thought should stay in the past.”

I rubbed Sergei’s shoulder, and Mom raised her chin as she peered at me. “So, you’ve known all along.”

It amazed me how even though I was an adult, one disapproving look from Mom could still make me squirm. “I didn’t know when you first asked me about it. I told you everything Sergei had told me at that point.”

“He lied to you?”

“At first, yes, and we went through a really rough time because of it, but that’s long behind us.”

“The reason I’m telling you now is because of what we learned when we saw Elena.” Sergei stopped and glanced at me. “Her cousin that lived in the States adopted the baby, but she and her husband died last year in a car accident, and Elena is raising our daughter now.”

“Daughter?” Anna squeaked. “It is girl?”

Sergei nodded weakly. “Her name is Liza.”

I thought of the little girl looking at me in wonder as I gave her my autograph. She didn’t know she was about to receive a much bigger surprise.

“We met her,” I blurted out.

“You see her?” Anna gasped.

“Does she know Elena is her mother?” Dad asked.

“No, but Elena’s going to tell her tonight,” Sergei said. “I really want to talk to Liza before we go home.”

“Elena has husband?” Max asked in his gravelly voice.

“She’s divorced,” Sergei replied.

Max grunted. “Her father likely cause.”

“He passed away recently,” Sergei said. “I don’t know if he did more damage to Elena’s life before he died.”

“He damage many life,” Max said.

Mom held up her hand. “What else did he do? Besides send Elena away?”

“He threaten to take away Max’s job when he learn Sergei is with Elena,” Anna said. “He has many connections, and he use his money all for no good.”

“What was he, some kind of Russian mafia?” Mom asked with wide eyes.

“Something like that,” Sergei muttered.

“And you knew that and got mixed up with his daughter anyway? What were you thinking?” Mom demanded.

“Mom.” I gave her a hard stare.

“I ask this ten year ago,” Max said.

Mom nodded at him with respect. I should’ve known they’d bond over their disappointment in Sergei.

“None of that is important now,” Sergei said. “What’s important is Elena letting me into Liza’s life.”

“What do you want with this child?” Max asked in Russian. “How can you be a father when you are not here?”

“I can’t go home and pretend she doesn’t exist. I’m not going to ignore the fact that I have a daughter. I’ll find a way to spend time with her.”

Mom rose and started for the door. “I’d like to speak with you in private, Emily. Please excuse us.”

Dad stood, too, and I reluctantly followed my parents into the dimly lit hallway. The smell of onions cooking wafted out from another apartment and further turned my flip-flopping stomach.

“Are you just blindly supporting Sergei in this?” Mom asked. “Do you want this child in your life?”

I didn’t know what I wanted. I couldn’t deny Sergei a relationship with his daughter, but the thought of Elena in our lives forever twisted my insides.

“It means so much to him,” I said. “He never thought he’d have this chance.”