Effortless (22 page)

Tears were coursing down my cheeks as I started to sob. I hated
that my feelings were coming out this way. I didn’t really want him
to give up his dreams…I just didn’t want to see him go. I loved him
too much.

Surprisingly, he exhaled in what looked like relief. Smiling
softly, he brushed the tears off my cheeks. “Good, I’m glad to hear
you say that. I really thought this wasn’t affecting you.” He
kissed me twice, then pulled back and held my gaze. My sobs eased
at the look in his eyes. “I love you too, Kiera…so much.” Shaking
his head, his eyes moistening again, he added, “I’m gonna miss
you…every second.”

I nodded and swallowed, trying to reign in my explosive
feelings. I felt like I was going to break down into hysterics any
second, and I didn’t want our last moment to be that way. Even if
it had been reaffirming for him to see my grief, I didn’t want to
drown him in tears. This was a good thing for him, an exciting
thing. I wanted him to go off happy, knowing that I’d be here when
he got back. And like Jenny was always telling me, I had to have
faith that he would come back.

Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine the reverse of this moment,
six months from now, when he was coming home. We’d embrace. We’d
shower the other with affection. Then I’d drop my reluctance to
move in with him and we’d go home together. Then we’d make love for
hours. Just the two of us, twisted in his sheets, moaning in
passion. It ignited me a little already, just thinking of it. We
just had to get through this winter and then we’d be reunited in
the spring…like last year.

Thinking of winter sprang my eyes open. “You’ll be gone,” I
whispered.

He bunched his forehead, not following my vague statement.
Shaking my head, I clarified. “This will be our first
Christmas…together…and you’ll be gone.”

The sadness threatened to drive me over the edge again, but he
smiled. “I won’t be working over the holidays. I do get some time
off.”

I sighed. “But who knows where you’ll be. You couldn’t possibly
fly across the country just to spend a couple of days with me.”

Frowning, he shrugged. “Why not? People do it all the time.”

I shrugged, feeling like it was too much of a hassle to ask him
to jump on a plane, not once, but twice, during the busiest
traveling time of the year. Tilting his head at me, he twisted his
lip. “Where will you be for Christmas?”

Shaking my head, I shrugged again. “With my family in Ohio, I
guess. I’ll probably spend my winter break there.”

He nodded, his smile widening. “Then I’ll meet you there…in
Ohio.”

I raised an eyebrow at him, shaking my head. “Kellan…”

He interrupted me with a swift kiss. “No, I’ve always wanted to
meet your parents, see your home town.” Pulling back, his face
excited, he smiled wide. “When I get the time off, I’ll come to
you.” He shook his head, his eyes glowing. “We’ll do Christmas with
your family. It’ll be great, Kiera.”

Sighing, imagining him sitting on my parents’ couch, sipping
eggnog, I nodded and bit my lip. “Alright…it’s a date.”

Both of us feeling better, we kissed again for a few long
seconds. Band members brushed past us as we nonverbally said
goodbye, but we ignored them. I even managed to ignore Griffin
grabbing my butt and murmuring in my ear, “Yes, Kellan…God, yes.”
Then we were alone and the bus driver was snapping at Kellan to get
on or he’d leave him here.

Sighing, we broke apart…for the last time. I didn’t want to
think of it that way, but there it was, the last kiss we’d have for
what I knew was going to feel like an eternity. Swallowing as he
nodded at me, he took a step back. Our hands trailed across the
other’s arms and it took every amount of will power I had to not
grab his fingertips as our hands broke apart.

I didn’t want to, but a sob came out of me when his skin left
mine. Even though we’d made plans to see each other again, it
almost felt like things were irrevocably shifting. We’d never be
Kiera and Kellan again…not like we were anyway. I hoped that the
new Kiera and Kellan would be better, stronger, more trusting of
each other…but I didn’t know for sure what or where we’d end up.
And the unknown is a terrifying thing.

Kellan adjusted his guitar strapped on his back, then stepped
onto his bus and out of my sight. Jenny, Rachel and Anna came up to
clump around me. Windows opened along the sides of the bus, and
strange guys leaned out of them to wave to strange girls. Then our
D-Bags appeared near the back. Kellan leaned on his elbows over the
glass, lifting his hand in a small wave. Tears in my eyes, I waved
back.

With all of us girls sniffling, we watched, disheartened, as the
bus rumbled to life. Stringing my arms over Anna and Jenny, Rachel
leaning on Jenny, we all softly cried while our men departed for
their war with fame. Even through my sorrow, I wished them
luck.

As the bus pulled away, the various boys popped back inside it,
windows closing after them. All but Kellan. He stayed propped out
his window, watching me fade into oblivion as he sped away from me
faster and faster. It was so metaphoric, a physical example of
everything I feared our relationship would become, that I couldn’t
keep watching. When he was far enough away that he wouldn’t be able
to notice, I closed my eyes. Sadly, that felt metaphoric too.

When I reopened them, the busses were gone, vanished from sight,
off to destinations unknown. The random girls wandering around the
parking lot talked with each other in clumps before heading off to
their separate vehicles. Most of them looked fine, like their
boyfriends disappearing down the path to fame and fortune was no
big deal. Shaking my head at the more chipper girls in the crowd, I
wanted to run over and tell them, “What are you so thrilled about?
Don’t you know the odds are that you’ll be replaced as soon as they
are household names?” But I was trying to keep my head in a
positive place, so I didn’t.

Sniffing back the tears, I suddenly wanted to be at home,
wetting my way through a box of Kleenex. My friends had other
plans, though. Jenny stepped in front of me, cupping my cheeks. She
hazed in my watery vision as I stared at her. Shaking her golden
waves, she said, “Kellan gave me instructions that I wasn’t allowed
to let you mope after he left…so stop picturing all of the bad
things you’re picturing and smile, so I can tell him that I did my
job.”

She grinned after she said it and I blinked. “He…gave you
instructions on how to handle me?”

Jenny shrugged, dropping her palms from my face to grab my
hands. Anna laughed and put her chin on my shoulder. “Yeah, he
talked to me, too…said I should take you out a lot, make sure you
had fun and didn’t wallow too much.” I looked back at my sister and
she giggled, rolling her eyes. “It’s like he knows you or
something.”

Quiet Rachel put her hand on my arm and I looked over at the
mixed beauty. “He cares a lot about you, Kiera. He wants you to be
happy while he’s gone.”

Blinking at her, I shook my head. “He talked to all of you?”
They all shrugged and smiled and I shook my head. “I can’t believe
my boyfriend assigned my friends to be my keepers…like I’d be
popping Prozac and walking along bridge rails once he left.”
Smiling, I laughed a little. “That jackass.”

They all laughed with me and I took a moment to look over each
woman’s face. Even smiling, I could see a sadness in each of them
and I swallowed, remembering that I wasn’t the only one suffering
here. Putting my arm around Rachel, I asked, “I know I’m not the
only one going through this…how are you guys?”

Rachel shrugged, her deeply tanned skin flushing. “All right, I
guess. Matt says he loves me and he’s not interested in anybody
else. It’s all about the music with him…so, I think we’ll be
fine.”

I hugged her briefly, agreeing with her. Matt wasn’t the type to
go after a girl when he had one waiting at home. Even before he’d
started dating Rachel…that just wasn’t him. Jenny in front of me
sighed morosely. “I miss him already, but I know Evan will come
back for me.” She shook her head. “We’ve been friends for so long…I
just can’t see him doing anything… ” she bit her lip and glanced at
Anna, “…stupid.”

Anna snorted and we all turned to look at her. “Well, Griffin
and I aren’t the lovey-dovey couple that the three of you are, so
I’m completely fine.” Smiling, she shrugged. “He gives me what I
need when he’s around, and when he’s not…” her smile widened,
“there are plenty of others who can.”

She winked at us and I laughed and shook my head. At least Anna
wasn’t head-over-heels for Griffin and wouldn’t get hurt over
his…antics. I was fairly certain that he wouldn’t even try to be
faithful and committed to her while he was gone. Hell, he wasn’t
even faithful and committed to her while he was here! But she
wasn’t faithful to him either and they both seemed fine with the
situation.

Jenny smirked and shook her head while Rachel frowned. Being
Matt’s girlfriend, she probably saw the most of Griffin, since the
twin-like cousins were sort of inseparable, and if she was anything
like me, she probably found him repugnant. Anna sighed and laid her
head on my shoulder. “I will miss the multiple orgasms, though.”
She sighed, forlornly. “No one can stroke me like that boy.”

Jenny giggled while Rachel’s flush deepened. I reached over and
smacked my sister’s shoulder, pushing her away from me. “Ewww,
Anna, too much information…seriously.”

She laughed while I shook my head in disgust. I may have to go
home and take a shower now. I felt a little dirty just hearing her
comment, let alone the visual I now had. Anna throatily chuckled,
her finger looping around a perfect, silky lock of hair as she
raised her eyebrows suggestively. I was still shaking my head at
her when my pocket vibrated.

A bit startled, I reached into my jacket and pulled out my
phone. The most glorious words imaginable were flashing across the
screen—
Incoming call from Kellan Kyle.
Giggling at the
marvels of technology, I pressed the connect button and put the
phone to my ear. “Hello?”

A husky voice greeted me, along with a lot of background noise;
boisterous boys laughing and talking. “Hey, is it too early to miss
you?”

Laughing a little as Jenny and the girls watched me, I shook my
head. “No, it’s never too early for that. I miss you too,
Kellan.”

Anna rolled her eyes while Jenny and Rachel grinned. Kellan
laughed in my ear, the sound instantly taking me to my happy place.
“Good…is it too early for phone sex?”

Straightening, I felt my cheeks heat. “Kellan!”  He laughed
even harder in my ear and Anna stopped smirking, raising an eyebrow
instead. I could only shake my head at her, my mind too busy
wondering what phone sex was exactly, since I’d never done it. I
couldn’t imagine anything more horrifying, although…the thought of
Kellan panting in my ear, touching himself, moaning my name,
thinking of me…it did send a rush through me.

But there was no way I’d even consider it in the company I was
in now.

I stammered for something to say and he chuckled, amused. “I’m
just teasing, Kiera. I’m glad you’re okay. I thought you might be a
blubbering mess by now.”

Relaxing a bit as Anna, Jenny and Rachel moved on to their own
conversation, giving Kellan and me some privacy, I twisted my lip.
“Yeah, well, your recruits have done their job well.” My voice came
out a little dry and he laughed again.

“Good, then part one of my plan has been successful.”

I blinked, tilting my head. “Part one? Wait…what plan?”

Vaguely, I heard the girls start to make plans of their own,
mainly to head over to Pete’s, to tear down the guys’ equipment and
move it over to Evan’s place, since Jenny had the keys to his loft.
My main focus was on Kellan, though…and this mysterious plan that
he had.

Chuckling a little, he murmured, “Just a little something to
keep you occupied while I’m gone.”

I smiled, wondering just what he had in mind. “Hmmm, I see.” As
Jenny tapped my shoulder, mouthing that they were going to head
over there, I nodded.

While I walked over to our cars, well, the cars the boys were
letting us drive in their absence, Kellan sighed in my ear. “I’m
liking this phone idea you had. This is nice, being able to talk to
you whenever I want to.”

I waved at Jenny as she opened Evan’s car door, ducking inside
it with Rachel. Anna blew me a kiss as she opened Griffin’s van
door and ducked inside. Smiling at Kellan’s comment, I cracked the
Chevelle’s door open and sat inside. It was strange to be in it
without him. But with his voice in my ear and the residual smell of
him in the car, it was almost like he was here, sitting beside me.
I smiled as I answered him. “Yeah, see, I knew you’d like it better
than handcuffs.”

“Oh, hey now…I didn’t say that.” He chuckled as I bit my lip.
Pulling the keys out of my pocket, I twisted the ignition, the
solid engine roaring to life.

Kellan sighed. “Did you just start my baby?”

I laughed, waiting while Jenny and Anna pulled their vehicles
out of their respective stalls. “Well, I do have to drive her home,
so…yeah.”

“Well, you shouldn’t drive and talk on the phone, so I’ll let
you go.”