Eggs Benedict Arnold (46 page)

“
I don
’
t know,
”
said Suzanne.
“
Probably a great many
things. But I do know this
—Toni is working extra hard to keep Junior Garrett on the straight and narrow.
”

“
That so?
”
asked Doogie.

“
Absolutely,
”
said Suzanne, holding up two fingers, changing it to three.
“
Scout
’
s honor.
”

“
You could have been hurt, you know,
”
said Doogie,
starting to edge toward his cruiser.

“
But we weren
’
t,
”
said Suzanne.
“
We used our wits to get away.
”

“
Sheesh,
”
snorted Doogie.
“
No wonder you wanted that
stupid old mule.
”

“
You owe me big time,
”
Suzanne told Toni when she stopped by the Cackleberry Club around four o
’
clock.

Toni looked up from where she was sweeping the floor. Little bits of dust mingled with bread crumbs and a hunk of
doughnut.
“
Huh?
”

“
Remember our good pals Eel and Lenny?
”
said Suzanne.
“
Turns out they ratted us out.
”

Toni
’
s broom clattered to the floor.
“
Those dirtballs rat
ted us out? Aw, man! You mean they told Doogie we were
out at their farm?
”

“
You got it, sister,
”
said Suzanne.

“
Did they rat out Junior, too?
”
Concern suddenly clouded
Toni
’
s eyes.

‘
They tried to,
”
said Suzanne,
“
but BFF that I am, I lied
like a rug about it. Swore up and down to Doogie that Ju
nior wasn
’
t involved. Told him we
thought
he was, but then
we found out he was pure as the driven snow.
”

“
Now you
’
re making me feel bad,
”
said Toni.
“
I mean,
I
’
m happy you pulled Junior
’
s fat from the fire and all, but sorry you had to lie.
”

“
Yeah ... well, let
’
s just say it
’
s not the first time I blew
past the ninth commandment,
”
replied Suzanne.

“
It
’
s the other commandments that are the real biggies,
”
said Toni.
“
Although . . .
”
She frowned, thinking.
“
Maybe
it
’
s best we don
’
t go there.
”

“
Let
’
s not,
”
agreed Suzanne.

“
And you
’
re sure Junior
’
s safe?
”

“
As long as his phony baloney story jibes with
ours,
”
said
Suzanne

Toni clapped a hand to her heart.
“
As long as Junior fibs,
too,
”
she murmured.

“
For now,
”
said Suzanne,
“
let
’
s just think of it as moral
relativism.
”

Toni blew out a glut of air.
“
Okaaay.
”
She stared down
at her broom and dustpan for a couple of moments, then
knelt and gathered everything up.
“
So. How was the fash
ion show? I see you got to keep the clothes. And may I just say your makeup looks fantastic! Did Gregg do your eyes? Because your look kind of reminds me of Kathleen Turner,
back in her gorgeous, pre-pudgy days.
”

“
I
’
ll take that as a left-handed compliment,
”
said Su
zanne, as they walked into the kitchen together.

“
Was it really fun?
”
Toni asked, almost wistfully.

“
The fashion show,
”
said Suzanne.
Where to start?
“
First
of all, there was a phenomenal turnout. It looked like one
of those paparazzi scrums you see at the Academy Awards
or something.
”

“
Wow,
”
exclaimed Toni.
“
I guess I should have come
after all.
”

“
Oh, I don
’
t think so,
”
sighed Suzanne.
“
The program did get slightly derailed.
”

“
Carmen did something stupid?
”

“
That
’
s a given,
”
said Suzanne.
“
But Sheriff Doogie was
a big hit on the runway, too.
”

Toni stared.
“
That
’
s
where Doogie accosted you about Eel and Lenny?
”

“
Oh, yeah,
”
said Suzanne.
“
Right in the middle of Car
men
’
s precious fashion show! It made for quite the dra
m
at
ic moment.
”

Toni suddenly grinned like a maniac.
“
I can just see it!
”
she chortled.
“
And now the latest in wrinkled khaki, with a tarnished gold badge worn as a single, bold statement piece.
”

“
That
’
s about the size of it,
”
said Suzanne.

“
Extra large if it was Doogie,
”
said Toni with a giggle.
She paused.
“
But you had fun.
”

“
Only if you consider removing my clothes in front of
younger, skinnier women, and having Doogie scream at me
in front of everyone as the height of hilarity.
”

“
But not a total loss,
”
said Toni.
“
You got your makeup
and hair done professionally.
”

Suzanne stabbed an index finger at Toni.
“
Lady, you just
found a ray of sunshine in the middle of a shit storm.
”

“
Ever the optimist,
”
said Toni.

Suzanne, glancing into the cracked mirror that hung by the back door, said,
“
You don
’
t think the eye makeup
’
s too garish, do you?
”
She poked a finger at her newly enhanced eyelashes, testing them. They felt rubbery and a little spidery.

“
You look gorgeous,
”
Toni assured her.
“
Perfect for your big date tonight.
”

“
I just hope Sam doesn
’
t think it
’
s too over-the-top,
”
said Suzanne.

“
Honey,
”
said Toni,
“
take it from me. He
’
s gonna
love
what he sees.
”
She paused.
“
You gonna wear the clothes, too?
”

“
The jacket, yes,
”
said Suzanne.
“
The jeans, no.
”

Chapter twenty six

Toni
wasn
’
t far off with her prediction. In fact, the date was going swimmingly well. Sam Hazelet had arrived
promptly at seven o
’
clock. Parked his BMW right in front of
Suzanne
’
s house and ran up the walk to meet her at the door.
Very proper and courteous, unlike Junior who tooted his
horn outside Toni
’
s apartment, then scowled and drummed his fingers impatiently while he waited for her to dash out.

Then they
’
d driven over to Kopell
’
s Restaurant and B and B, in nearby Cornucopia. Sam had popped a Rihanna CD into the player and they
’
d chatted easily as they en
joyed the music. Once they
’
d arrived at Kopell
’
s, they were
shown to a cozy table for two near
th
e fireplace. Sam perused the wine list, asked a couple of questions, then or
dered a bottle of Rombauer Cabernet Sauvignon. Once the
cork was popped and they
’
d gone through the swirling-sniffing-tasting ritual, the Cabernet turned out to be quite spectacular.

“
You know wine,
”
Suzanne said, sounding pleased.

“
Just enough to be dangerous,
”
Sam told her, pouring a
little more into her wineglass.
“
You like this Cab?
”

“
Love it,
”
Suzanne told him. Actually, she was loving
the evening out. It had been well over a year since she
’
d sat across a candlelit table from a man. Feeling relaxed, enjoy
ing each other
’
s company.

“
May you live in interesting times,
”
said Sam, raising his glass.

“
Cheers,
”
said Suzanne, gently clinking her glass to his,
then taking another sip.

“
So,
”
said Sam, leaning forward slightly.
“
How was your day?
”

“
You wouldn
’
t believe it if I told you,
”
said Suzanne.

“
Then you have to tell me,
”
said Sam.

“
I let someone twist my arm and convince me to be in a fashion show.
”

“
Huh. The one at Alchemy?
”

“
How would you know about
that
?
asked Suzanne. Men didn
’
t really pay attention to fashion and clothing trends, did they?

“
Are you serious?
”
said Sam, rolling his eyes.
“
That
’
s
all the women at the clinic have been talking about. They
’
re
all charged up because now they can buy K Brand jeans in
Kindred instead of driving all the way to Minneapolis or Sioux Falls.
”