Einstein's Underpants--And How They Saved the World (20 page)

There was Really Annoying Girl, still clutching her lethal handbag, her face almost beautiful now that it was in repose.

And there was Jamie Superstrong, asleep and smiling in his sleep, because his mind was as pure as his body was strong, and he could sleep whenever he closed his eyes, and his dreams were always happy dreams.

And Felicity, who made him blush now by gazing back at him. Had he perhaps done it all for her?

And last, Unluckeon, now reborn as
Luckeon. Melvyn, his bestest friend in the whole wide world, who had been prepared to sacrifice himself to save them all.

No, not last, because there, reflected in the thick glass of the escape pod's window, was his own face. The face not of a genius, but of an ordinary boy who had saved the planet.

EPILOGUE

OTTO, AGAIN

‘
AND THE ESCAPE
pod brought you back to England? That was nice. Could have been Siberia. Or Belgium.'

Uncle Otto had a room all to himself at the psychiatric hospital, but he liked to potter about in the grounds when the weather was sunny. He was now sitting on a bench under an enormous beech tree, with a tartan rug over his knees. The hospital staff were kind and let him wear his tin-foil helmet under a woolly hat, to prevent mind-reading. He was surrounded by photos and articles he'd cut out of magazines.

‘That was Plymm. She's a pretty nifty space pilot.'

Uncle Otto nodded. ‘And now she's
taken fully human form?'

‘Yeah. She's still a bit, you know,
green
. But she's kind of foxy. For an alien. She goes to our school now. Lives in The Hurricane's spare room. I think they have a thing going on, which is kind of weird. But at least he's got a girlfriend at last.'

‘And brilliant, the way you worked out that your friend Melvyn was really lucky after all. It was just the twist the story needed.'

‘I'd never have done it without Einstein's underpants.'

‘Ah, the pants,' said Otto craftily. ‘You'll have finished with them then . . . ?'

‘Oh . . . well, I was kind of hoping . . .'

Otto's eyes suddenly blazed red. ‘They are my . . .
precious
.'

‘Precious?' Alexander edged away a little. ‘But they're only . . . and I was sort of hoping I could keep them – you know, for the next time we need to save the world.'

Otto passed his hand over his face, and
then seemed to recover himself. ‘And they call
me
crazy. It wasn't the pants. It was you. You're the genius. The pants were just . . . well, they were scaffolding. And when the building's finished, you take the scaffolding away.'

Alexander nodded. ‘I'll bring them next time I come.'

‘Oh, I'll be out of here soon. You can drop them off to me at home. I'm a bit short on pants. I don't like the modern ones. They have electronic tags so the authorities know where you are.'

Alexander looked at Otto. Was he mad? Was he joking? It was hard to tell.

Then a nurse appeared beside them under the tree. ‘I think that's enough for today,' she said, smiling at Alexander. And then, to Otto, ‘And time for your meds, Mr Richards. Let's go in.'

Alexander said goodbye to Otto. As they shook hands, Otto said, ‘You did well, boy. You did very well.'

‘Thanks, Uncle.'

As Alexander walked away, he found that he was rather uncomfortable. He paused, shook one leg, wriggled around and dug his fingers into his pockets, trying not to draw too much attention to himself.

Einstein's underpants may have helped to save the world, but they didn't half ride up.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I'd like to thank Kelly Hurst, Alex Antscherl and Sophie Nelson for their efforts to turn a flabby mess into a lean, mean fightin' machine. But most of all I'd like to thank the wondrous Philippa Milnes-Smith for bending it, and me, into shape.

Also by Anthony McGowan

For younger readers:

The Bare Bum Gang and the Holy Grail

The Bare Bum Gang and the Valley of Doom

The Bare Bum Gang and the Football Face-off

The Bare Bum Gang Battle the Dogsnatchers

For older readers:

Hellbent

Henry Tumour

(winner of the Booktrust Teenage Prize, 2006)

The Knife That Killed Me

EINSTEIN'S UNDERPANTS – AND HOW THEY SAVED THE WORLD
AN RHCB DIGITAL EBOOK 9781448100293

Published in Great Britain by RHCB Digital,
an imprint of Random House Children's Books
A Random House Group Company

This ebook edition published 2011

Copyright © Anthony McGowan, 2010

First published in Great Britain

Corgi Yearling 2010

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