Eleanor & Park (17 page)

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Authors: Rainbow Rowell

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just know that I need to see you.

Like this.’

‘I’m not even allowed to talk

to boys.’

‘Until when?’

‘I don’t know, never. This is

one of those things that doesn’t

make sense. My mom doesn’t

want to do anything that could

possibly irritate my stepfather.

And my stepfather gets off on

being mean. Especially to me. He

hates me.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I hate him.’

‘Why?’

She wanted, badly, to change

the subject, but she didn’t.

‘Because he’s a bad person.

Just … trust me. He’s the kind of

bad that tries to kill anything

good. If he knew about you, he’d

do whatever he could to take you

away from me.’

‘He can’t take me away from

you,’ Park said.

Sure he can, she thought. ‘He

can take
me
away from
you
,’ she

said. ‘The last time he got really

mad at me, he kicked me out and

didn’t let me come home for a

year.’

‘Jesus.’

‘Yeah.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be sorry,’ she said.

‘Just don’t tempt him.’

‘We

could

meet

at

the

playground.’

‘My siblings would turn me

in.’

‘We could meet somewhere

else.’

‘Where?’

‘Here,’ he said. ‘You could

come here.’

‘What would your parents

say?’

‘It’s nice to meet you, Eleanor,

would you like to stay for dinner?’

She laughed. She wanted to

say it wouldn’t work, but maybe it

would. Maybe.

‘Are you sure you want them

to meet me?’ she asked.

‘Yes,’

he

said.

‘I

want

everyone to meet you. You’re my

favorite person of all time.’

He kept making her feel like it

was safe to smile. ‘I don’t want to

embarrass you …’ she said.

‘You couldn’t.’

Headlights shot across the

living room.

‘Damn,’ she said. ‘I think my

dad’s home.’ She got up and

looked out the window. Her dad

and Donna were getting out of the

Karmann Ghia. Donna’s hair was

a mess.

‘Damn, damn, damn,’ she

said. ‘I never said why I like you,

and now I have to go.’

‘That’s okay,’ he said.

‘It’s because you’re kind,’ she

said. ‘And because you get all my

jokes …’

‘Okay,’ he laughed.

‘And you’re smarter than I

am.’

‘I am not.’

‘And

you

look

like

a

protagonist.’ She was talking as

fast as she could think. ‘You look

like the person who wins in the

end. You’re so pretty, and so

good. You have magic eyes,’ she

whispered. ‘And you make me

feel like a cannibal.’

‘You’re crazy.’

‘I have to go.’ She leaned over

so the receiver was close to the

base.

‘Eleanor – wait,’ Park said.

She could hear her dad in the

kitchen

and

her

heartbeat

everywhere.

‘Eleanor – wait –
I love you
.’

‘Eleanor?’

her

dad

was

standing in the doorway. He was

being quiet, in case she was

asleep. She hung up the phone

and pretended that she was.

CHAPTER 20

Eleanor

The next day was a blur.

Her dad complained that she’d

eaten all the yogurt.

‘I didn’t eat it, I gave it to

Matt.’

Her dad only had seven dollars

in his wallet, so that’s what he

gave her. When he was ready to

take her home, she said she had to

go the bathroom. She went up to

the hall closet, found three brand

new toothbrushes and shoved

them into the front of her pants,

along with a bar of Dove soap.

Donna might have seen her (she

was right there in the bedroom),

but she didn’t say anything.

Eleanor felt sorry for Donna.

Her dad never laughed at anyone’s

jokes but his own.

When her dad dropped Eleanor

off at her house, all the little kids

ran out to see him. He gave them

rides around the neighborhood in

his new car.

Eleanor wished she had a

phone to call the cops. ‘There’s a

guy driving around the Flats with

a bunch of kids hanging out of a

convertible. I’m pretty sure none

of them have seat belts on and that

he’s been drinking Scotch all

morning. Oh, and while you’re

here, there’s another guy in the

backyard smoking hash.
In a

school zone
.’

When their dad finally left,

Mouse couldn’t stop talking about

him. After a few hours, Richie

told everybody to put their coats

on. ‘We’re going to a movie,’ he

said, looking right at Eleanor. ‘All

of us.’

Eleanor and the little kids

climbed into the back of the truck

and huddled against the cab,

making faces at the baby, who got

to sit inside. Richie drove down

Park’s street on the way out of the

neighborhood, but Park wasn’t

outside, thank God. Of course,

Tina

and

her

Neanderthal

boyfriend were out. Eleanor didn’t

even try to duck. What was the

point? Steve whistled at her.

It was snowing on the way

home from the movie. (
Short

Circuit
.) Richie drove slow, which

meant that even more snow fell on

them, but at least nobody flew out

of the truck.

Huh, Eleanor thought. I’m not

fantasizing about being thrown

from a moving vehicle. Weird.

When they drove by Park’s

house again in the dark, she

wondered which window was his.

Park

He regretted saying it. Not because

it wasn’t true. He loved her. Of

course he did. There was no other

way to explain … everything Park

felt.

But he hadn’t meant to tell her

like that. So soon. And over the

phone. Especially knowing how

she felt about
Romeo and Juliet
.

Park was waiting for his little

brother to change clothes. Every

Sunday, they got dressed up, in

nice pants and sweaters, and had

dinner with their grandparents.

But Josh was playing Super Mario

and wouldn’t turn it off. (He was

about to get to the infinity turtle

for the first time.)

‘I’m going over,’ Park yelled

to his parents. ‘I’ll see you there.’

He ran across the yard because

he didn’t feel like putting on a

coat.

His

grandparents’

house

smelled

like

chicken-fried

chicken. His grandma only had

four Sunday dinners in her

repertoire – chicken-fried chicken,

chicken-fried steak, pot roast and

corned beef – but they were all

good.

His grandpa was watching TV

in the living room. Park stopped

to give him half a hug, then went

into the kitchen and hugged his

grandma. She was so small, even

Park towered over her. All the

women in his family were tiny,

and all the men were huge. Only

Park’s DNA had missed the

memo. Maybe the Korean genes

scrambled everything.

That didn’t explain Josh’s

hugeness, though. Josh looked

like the Korean genes had skipped

him altogether. His eyes were

brown and just barely almondy –

almond-flavored. And his hair

was dark, but not even close to

black. Josh looked like a big

German or Polish kid whose eyes

kind of crinkled when he smiled.

Their

grandmother

looked

nothing but Irish. Or maybe Park

only

thought

that

because

everyone in his dad’s family made

such a big deal about being Irish.

Park got a ‘Kiss Me, I’m Irish’ T-

shirt every year for Christmas.

He set his grandparents’ table

without being asked, because it

had always been his job. When his

mom got there, he hung out in the

kitchen with her and his grandma,

and listened to them gossip about

the neighbors.

‘I heard from Jamie that Park’s

going steady with one of those

kids who live over with Richie

Trout,’ his grandma said.

It shouldn’t surprise Park that

his dad had already told his

grandma. His dad could never

keep a secret.

‘Everybody

talking

about

Park’s girlfriend,’ his mom said,

‘except for Park.’

‘I heard she’s a redhead,’ his

grandma said.

Park pretended to read the

newspaper. ‘You shouldn’t listen

to gossip, Grandma.’

‘Well, I wouldn’t have to,’ his

grandma said, ‘if you’d just

introduce us to her.’

He rolled his eyes. Which

made him think of Eleanor. Which

almost made him feel like telling

them about her, just so he’d have

a reason to say her name.

‘Well, my heart goes out to

any child living in that house,’ his

grandma said. ‘That Trout boy has

never been any good. He smashed

out our mailbox while your dad

was in the service. I know it was

him because he was the only one

in the neighborhood with an El

Camino. He grew up in that little

house, you know, until his parents

moved someplace even more

redneck than here. Wyoming, I

think it was. They probably

moved to get away from him.’

‘Tishhhh,’ his mom said.

Grandma was a little sharp for his

mom’s taste sometimes.

‘We thought he’d moved out

west, too,’ she said, ‘but now he’s

back with an older wife who

looks like a movie star and a

whole house full of redheaded

stepchildren.

Gil

told

your

grandpa that they’ve got a big old

dog living there, too. I never …’

Park felt like he should defend

Eleanor. But he wasn’t sure how.

‘It doesn’t surprise me that

you have a thing for redheads,’ his

grandma said. ‘Your grandfather

was in love with a redhead. Lucky

for me, she wouldn’t have

anything to do with him.’

What

would

Park’s

grandmother say if he did

introduce her to Eleanor? What

would she say to the neighbors?

And what would his mother

say?

He watched his mom mash

potatoes with a masher as big as

her arm. She was wearing

stonewashed jeans and a pink V-

neck sweater, with fringed leather

boots. There was a gold angel

charm hanging around her neck

and gold crosses hanging from her

ears. She’d be the most popular

girl on the bus. He couldn’t

imagine her living anywhere but

here.

Eleanor

She’d never lied to her mother.

Not about anything important,

anyway. But on Sunday night,

while Richie was at the bar,

Eleanor told her mom that she

might go over to a friend’s house

after school the next day.

‘Who’s that?’ her mom asked.

‘Tina,’ Eleanor said. It was the

first name she thought of. ‘She

lives in the neighborhood.’

Her mom was distracted.

Richie was late, and his steak was

drying out in the oven. If she took

it out, he’d be pissed that it was

cold. But if she left it in, he’d be

pissed that it was tough.

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I’m glad

you’re finally making friends.’

CHAPTER 21

Eleanor

Would he look different?

Now that she knew that he

loved her? (Or that he
had
loved

her, at least for a minute or two on

Friday night. At least enough to

say so.) Would he look different?

Would he look away?

He did look different. More

beautiful than ever. When she got

on the bus, Park was sitting tall in

the seat, so she could see him. (Or

maybe so that he could see her.)

And when he let her into the seat,

he sat back down again against

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