Elemental (13 page)

I bit my lip and the creature did the same.
It was hard to reconcile the image in the mirror with me. In all
honesty, I knew that it
was
me, but having cold, hard proof
that I really was wasted and decrepit was hard to accept.

I couldn’t pull my eyes away. I needed to
find something beautiful, something to love in this creature. The
feelings of disgust raging through me could not be my final,
lasting impression.

I sighed.

There was… something there. The skin wasn’t
as sallow as I’d remembered it. The creamy ivory of
her—my—complexion hinted at a rosy undertone. My eyes, too, were
bright blue, almost sparkling in their intensity. And my hair
cascaded down the length of my back in golden waves, not stiff and
dry like straw as I’d thought.

So there was beauty I could grasp at. It
wasn’t completely overshadowed by the hideous way my bones jutted
out beneath my skin. I almost smiled.

“Is something wrong, dear?”

I looked down at the woman who still held
the dress out for me and shook my head. No, there really wasn’t
anything wrong. Not like I’d thought there would be. I could live
with this. There was nothing a few good meals couldn’t fix, no
damage that was permanent.

I smiled at her to calm the anxiety building
on her face. She smiled back and offered the dress again. I took it
this time and pulled it over my head.

There were no frills to the dress. It was
light and plain, but the sky blue brought out more of the pink in
my skin. The sleeves were short, so I was a little upset my stick
arms would be exposed. All in all, though, it was pretty. The
waistline tried to accentuate the curves I didn’t have, and the
skirt fell down my legs like running water. I could see why the
woman had so many clothes around her store. Though she didn’t seem
to have many customers, she was very good at what she did, and by
the way she pulled at the cloth and smoothed it over my body, I
could tell she really enjoyed her work.

She was behind me when her hands froze.
“Hmm… that’s odd.”

“What is?”

“Well, it’s just that you have very
pronounced shoulder blades.” She ran her fingers over my skin.
“They even extend down half your back! Amazing…”

I twisted my torso around so I could see
what the woman was talking about. There were two long, slender
mounds just where the woman had described them. The shopkeeper
reached her hand out to touch them again and the skin indented
beneath her poking finger. I flinched away.

“Amazing…” she said again.

“Will the dress still fit?” I turned my back
away from her, uncomfortable and eager to cover up this new
discovery. I felt naked and exposed beneath her dubious gaze.

“What? Oh yes! Let me just… there we go!”
She flitted behind me again and buttoned up the opening. I smiled
in relief.

I forced myself to relax as I enjoyed the
new image in the mirror. The girl staring back at me looked almost
feminine in her pale, blue dress. I smiled.

My eyes roved over my reflection, delighting
in what they saw, and finally settled on the gold locket Cailen had
left for me. The red and orange petals were vibrant against my
ivory skin, almost on fire. As I stared at the gilded flower a
whispering voice tickled at my ears. I couldn’t understand what it
was saying, but each hiss and drawl made my back ache and
thrum.

Open… Open… Open…

That one whispered word became clearer with
each utterance. And each time the “p” popped, whatever was
underneath my skin by my shoulder blades bounced and crawled. But I
didn’t know what it wanted or what to do, so the blood in my veins
started to tingle like it had with the Shakai and the Delsa-Prime.
I closed my eyes to control it, to stop it, but it wouldn’t be
stopped, it wouldn’t be controlled. Searing pain ripped through my
back, sending scorching heat through my body. I gasped. I needed to
give the voice what it wanted, but I didn’t know how…

I didn’t know how.

My vision turned red and my body arched back
as I fought against the ravenous power erupting inside me. I didn’t
want to hurt the woman, but a sudden and unbidden rage—an absolute
need for destruction—choked off all my senses. Only one thought was
clear, only one truth was above all truths. I was the—

“Destructor.”

Fire erupted above the tips of my fingers
and spread out to consume the room and everything in it. My cells
oozed with euphoria as the hunger was fed and the woman’s screams
added a high-pitched cadence to the thunderous roar of the burning
tempest. I smiled.

Let it burn. Let it consume everything.

The girl staring back at me glowed in the
halo of flames dancing a finger’s width above her skin. She looked
happy. She looked complete. But there was something she craved, and
I knew what that was. She wanted to release the burning ache in her
back. She wanted to give in and let it all out. And I wanted to
give it to her more than I wanted to pull breath into my lungs, but
I still didn’t know how.

Some new sound distracted me then. The
woman’s screams had ceased, but above the roar of the fire, I heard
someone call to me. I turned my head to the voice, letting the
power play through my veins, ready to bend it to my will against
the one who would dare to divert my attention, ready to send it out
to eat through more life and fill my body with its strength.

Malik stared back at me. And just as he’d
calmed me during my encounter with the Delsa-Prime, reason burst
through my mind like a tidal wave. What I was doing was wrong,
horrible. I pulled the power back inside of me and quenched it. It
burned every cell in my body as it sought new life to quench, but I
extinguished the flames around me and fell face-first to the
floor.

Chapter Ten
:

Fulfilling Prophecy

I’d killed her.

I’d really killed her. There was no avoiding
that reality. Her burned and wasted body stood as evidence to the
fact that I was a monster.
Destructor
—that’s what I’d said
in the back room of the shop. That truth was more evident now than
it’d ever been.

As I followed Malik through a dark, narrow
alley in the Ghetto and into a dingy, little bar with sticky floors
and sour air, I thought about how I’d let the rage and need for
destruction take over my body. The power I’d held—my absolute
indestructibility behind that power—part of me started thinking of
ways to get it back. I shoved those thoughts aside. I did
not
want that to happen again. Or did I?

No. I definitely didn’t.

I shook my head to get the images out even
as the need grew. Two men—the only customers in the place besides
Meir—stared at me from across the room, each of them playing with a
bulbous, silver charm hanging from their necks. I wondered for a
fleeting moment what their screams would sound like.

“Not now,” Malik said.

I looked around, startled, like I’d just
woken up. In fact, I did feel like I was drifting between reality
and fantasy. My mind struggled to focus on the present. Meir and
Malik were staring at me. Meir’s wrinkles creased with worry. So
they’d been talking about me and I hadn’t even noticed. I wondered
what Meir had said. Had he asked why I looked half-crazed? If so,
would Malik tell him about the dead woman and her burnt shop? I
hadn’t wanted Meir to know this part of me. I’d resolved to keep it
from him when I’d first discovered this strange ability. But now,
perhaps he needed to know. It was getting out of control. I was
hurting people… killing them.

I needed to leave. I needed to turn myself
in. I needed to die. They’d been right to lock me away. I was
dangerous—perhaps the most dangerous person in the galaxy… in the
universe. Who knew how many civilized planets there were? Dozens,
hundreds maybe—and for some reason the number four-hundred-and-two
popped into my head. Maybe it was a shadow of a memory from my life
before
Sho’ful
. It didn’t matter, though. What mattered was
that all those planets had their criminals, their sickos—but I was
the worst.

Meir stiffened as I stared back, anxiety
growing on his face. He nodded once, and I knew then that Meir
would hold Malik to his word. He’d demand the information that
would condemn me in his eyes, and then he would no longer love me.
“Let’s go,” he said.

We left the poorly lit bar, leaving its two
patrons and one bartender in silence. The speeder stood halfway
down the alley, hidden in the shadows between the walls of
buildings on either side of the narrow street. Our footsteps echoed
off the cobblestone pavement as I followed closely behind Meir and
Malik.

Malik pulled out a white shirt and a pair of
green pants for Meir and I turned my back to give him privacy. I
wanted more than anything to scream and run away, but I stayed
because I knew Malik would never let me get far. Even at this
moment, I could feel his eyes on my back. He… knew. Maybe he could
see it in my eyes—my dead, cold eyes.

One of them cleared his throat, and I turned
to get into the speeder with my gaze shifting everywhere but on
them. I climbed in the rear with Meir’s discarded Tarmean uniform
and leaned away from the two of them with my head resting against
the seat.

Fluffy white clouds skittered across the
soft, blue backdrop of sky. It was funny to think that just a few
days ago I’d lain on the floor of my prison cell imagining this
very image. Now I was experiencing it for real and dreaming of
getting back into the clutches of my captors. It was amazing how
reality could change my perspective on things. Never in all my ten
years with the Mamood had I thought
I
was the greater
evil.

Malik started the engine and the
electromagnet purred to life. I barely noticed the smooth ride past
the squat, stone buildings and then the glittering spikes. I
should’ve been fascinated and on the edge of my seat like I’d been
before, but so much had changed. I had changed. There was no longer
only
a
threat of destruction. I was
the
threat,
burning as I went.

I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to think
about it anymore. I didn’t want to see the beauty I longed to
consume.

I didn’t open my eyes again until I felt the
speeder slow to a stop. And even then, I didn’t want to wake up to
reality, but someone was talking to us and my curiosity was
stronger than my depression.

Two men wearing polished silver armor and
lavish red plumes atop glistening helmets stood on either side of
the speeder. I sat up with my back ramrod straight. Though we
hovered several feet above the ground, these men towered over us.
They were giants—probably close to twice my height—and they spoke
to Malik with the same thick accent as Lastrini had.

“Orsili?” one of them said. “Let’s see your
papers.”

Malik dug through a pocket in his robe and
pulled out the papers the guards had given us. Outwardly, he looked
calm, but I’d watched him enough to know by his clenched jaw and
too-innocent eyes that he was nervous.

We were stopped in front of a massive wooden
gate. The stone walls on either side towered several stories into
the sky. The structure looked ancient, but sturdy, not anything
like the delicate towers that spotted the plains for miles around
it.

The man on my left, closest to Malik,
narrowed his eyes at us. “These papers say nothing about the Old
City.”

Meir shrugged. “Ranen Orsili is a good
friend of mine and I was hoping to get a chance to see him for a
few hours before our papers ran out.” The man still looked
skeptical. “I lived here with him for a short time a few years
back. You may remember me. Meir Groff.”

The man on my right pulled out some kind of
palm device and waved it in front of Meir’s face. After a few
seconds, he nodded. “He’s in our records.”

The man on my left nodded as well and they
both stepped away from the speeder, signaling us to move
forward.

“What was that about?” I asked when we’d
cleared the gate.

Meir twisted his body to face me. “The Old
City is strictly for Ladeshians. Outsiders are prohibited in most
cases—even other Soltakians. My friend, Ranen, has a lot of clout,
though.” He chuckled. “He is the Emperor’s cousin, after all.”

My eyes widened. The mystery behind Meir
seemed to be getting more spectacular with each passing moment. But
I narrowed my eyes at him. He’d said something that confused me,
and I remembered Malik had used the term earlier that day, too.
“What’s a Ladeshian?”

“The ruling class of people on Soltak, the
conquerors, the ones to unite the planet under their rule. They
primarily live in their royal cities—Co’ladesh, Bri’ladesh,
Fa’ladesh, and Eo’ladesh.” He shook his head. “They obsess over
their traditions, refusing even to make the common tongue their
primary language. Did you notice their accents?”

I nodded.

He smiled and nodded his head to the left
and right. “Look around you. The Ladeshians are one of the most
advanced cultures in the galaxy, but you wouldn’t guess it by
looking at their homes.”

I followed his gesture. Limestone and marble
palaces dotted green acres on either side of a blue-stoned street.
There was no hint at modernization like there’d been in the New
City.

“Each one of these is thousands of years
old, passed on from generation to generation. Some of them have
been updated with a few modern comforts, but most of the occupants
refuse even to install modern plumbing because it’s not how their
ancestors lived.”