Elemental Fear (12 page)

“I've dreamed of doing that for so long
.” He whispered and gently pecked my lips again as if he couldn’t keep himself away. I smiled shyly at him. “You are perfect.” He put his forehead against mine and let out a long breath that feathered across my damp lips.

“Can I take you out, on a proper date? Dinner, cinema – somewhere I don’t have to shout and I can hear you.”

I let out a soft laugh and nodded against him “I’d like that
”

The loud music snapped me out of my daydream; I shook my head to rid myself of the memory. That was nine years and sixty three days old; I knew the exact length of time he had tortured my life. I admit in the beginning he was absolutely perfect, prince charming in all aspects. I craved seeing him, I dreamed up ways in which to see him. He was everything I believed a boyfriend should be. He wasn’t Dominic, but he had made it blatantly obvious he didn’t want me, so I decided I would move on. I cannot tell you how many times I have sat and wished to be taken back to that day and chosen to ignore him and leave him standing in the hall or said ‘no sorry I’m not interested’. But instead I chose to fall for the charm, I allowed myself to become beguiled, therefore I deserve everything I receive as punishment. I know there was never a romantic future for Dominic, but looking back now I would choose my innocent, naive, romantic dreams over the severity and fear Elliott’s love involved. Isn’t hindsight a bitch?

“You are no fun tonight. Maybe I should find myself someone else to keep me company” Elliott sneered, bringing me out of my daydream “there are many beautiful women in here gagging for it. Fuck knows what I did to be lumbered with a frigid bitch like you
.” He growled. I could see the malevolence in his eyes; the drink was taking hold quicker than usual tonight.

“Sorry, I was remembering when we first got together” I smiled trying to lighten the mood.

“What? You mean when you were beautiful and fun to be with instead of...this.” He waved his

hands dismissively at me.

“Sorry”

“That’s all you ever say. Go get me another fucking drink, I'm going to need it
.” He ordered. “Are you sure you? I mean...”

“Don’t tell me what to fucking do Evelyn. I can handle a couple of drinks, you drive me to it so don’t sit there preaching at me.”

I took his glass and headed for the bar. I fought the pathetic tears that wanted to reduce me to a sniveling mess. My efforts to placate him tonight were failing miserably.

“Jim Beam no ice and bottled water please.” I said to the bar tender.

“Hey, Evelyn. Bit of a stiff drink for you isn’t it.” I turned to see Liam from work. He placed his hand at the small of my back and leaned in to talk into my ear. “Who are you with? I haven’t seen you here before?”

I pointed to our table “Elliott”

“Is that your boyfriend?” He smiled at me and waved to Elliott. He didn’t wave back he just glared

at me. “Jealous type is he? Can’t say I’m surprised
.” He smiled again.

“Well if it isn’t my walking wet dream” I heard a voice holler from behind me. I knew the voice and I winced knowing this night was seriously going downhill for me. I turned to see Johan holding a bottled beer and smiling like the sun had finally arrived on a wet day. He pulled me into his usual hug. I looked nervously over his shoulder at Elliott, whose face was contorted by utter rage.

“Hi” I said feeling increasingly fearful about returning to the table.

“Who ya here with darling?” usually when I heard him say that in his gorgeous American accent it made me smile, tonight I just wanted to hide.

“Elliott” I knew my voice was shaking but at this point there was little I could do. Johan’s smile fell “You okay? You don’t seem –“

I turned and looked over at Elliott again “I'm fine”

Johan followed my gaze then turned to face me “is everything okay? Have you guys had an argument? You seem a little nervous.”

I turned to look at him then quickly lowered my face to stare at the scarred bar top and shook my head. Hating that I was shunning a very good friend, I swallowed at the emotions fighting to break free.

“Eve –“ Johan took a step forward and gently took hold of my elbow.

“Get your fucking hands off my girlfriend” my back stiffened as I heard his angry voice penetrate through the bustle of the bar.

Johan let go immediately and turned to face Elliott. “Sorry man, I wasn’t...we work together. I’m Johan you must be Elliott.” He held out his hand to shake it. I didn’t turn but I could see with the look on Johan’s face that Elliott hadn’t reciprocated.

I felt a tight grip pull at my elbow and spin me round. “Go sit down, I’ll wait for the drinks” I walked past him and headed back to our table, which luckily had remained vacant. I felt sick that Johan and Liam had witnessed that. I jumped when my bottle of water was slammed down on the table in front of me

“Who the fuck was that?”

“Jo...Johan, he’s the Developmental Director at –” I offered.

“Are you fucking him?” He snarled

“What? No!” I couldn’t help the shock in my voice.

“Why would he have his hands all over you then?”

“He didn’t. He was just saying hello.” I argued.

“Are you trying to say that I’m crazy? That I didn’t just see a guy fondling my girlfriend right in front of my fucking face” Elliott stood over me his face was inches from my face. The look in his eyes was deadly and I knew how this night was going to end, bile started rising in my throat.

“No, I didn’t mean to upset you. He was just saying hello to be polite. I don’t know him other than he’s one of the bosses.” I knew my voice came out panicky and maybe made me sound guilty but I couldn’t help it. The noise and people in the club made it difficult to gage an appropriate answer. I quickly scanned the room and saw Johan at the bar watching us with a deep frown etched on his brow.

“You think I’m an idiot.”

“No, never, please stop this. Lets finish our drinks” I pleaded.

“We need to leave, we can discuss this at home in private.” He gripped my hand, nipping his nails into my skin.

Panic took hold; “No I don’t want to leave” I remained seated. “Please, sit down and...you’re causing people to stare at us” I ducked my head and stared at the table.

“They were staring before, at me, being the deluded idiot while my girlfriend was off humping some bloke at the bar.” He sat next to me on the bench taking a large swig of his drink.

“I wasn’t” I protested and regretted it immediately with the fierce look on his face. “I'm sorry. Johan is a work colleague, he came to say hello, and he wanted to meet you too. I wasn’t humping anyone.” I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Why do you do this? You’re not happy with me; I never make you happy so why do we do this?” I said to the table because one thing for sure I was too scared to look at Elliott.

“What? Are you trying to break up with me?” his hand landed on the top of my thigh and squeezed so hard I couldn’t help but cry out with pain. “Do you not remember what happened the last time you tried to pull this? Do you need reminding? You. Are. Mine!” He growled into my ear, biting at my lobe viciously.

I nodded and apologised.

“I love you, why I have no fucking clue, but I do. And you love me and that is the end of the fucking discussion.” He emptied his glass and stood pulling me to my feet. His grip on my wrist was going to leave a bruise with the tight punishing hold he had on me.

I stumbled being dragged at such a fast pace. When we passed the bar I ducked my head, I could feel Johan’s eyes following me. A gentle hand landed on my shoulder, halting me. I turned and saw Johan watching me with confused concern. I simply shook my head and followed Elliott. When we got outside, he marched us down the street to the car park. He searched his pockets for his keys stumbling with his inebriation, when the doors clicked he practically threw me into the car.

“I should drive. You’ve had –”

“Are you seriously trying to tell me what to fucking do
!” He shouted. Spit hit my face as each word left his mouth.

“No Elliott” I sat in my seat, fastened my seatbelt and waited for him to stagger around the car. I wanted to vomit, but fear repressed the urge. I tried again to reason with him

“Please let me drive”

A swift punch to the ribs silenced me.

I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. I wondered if he would notice if I took the pain killers now so when the time came my body would have some defense.

I felt the car stop and looked to the house. Shit! There were no lights on in both houses and no cars in the drive. They were all out. I looked across at Elliott and the look on his face told me he knew this in advance. He’d arranged it.

I swallowed the lump in my throat; a big tear escaped and tore down my cheek. “Please, Elliott, don’t do this” I got out of the car. He yanked my arm and dragged me up the drive way.

I was flung through the door and heard it slam and lock behind me. Before I could scramble away the first blow came to my lower back, knocking me to the floor, the pain exploding around my left kidney. I was on all fours when a quick succession of kicks came to my ribs, forcing me across the floor onto my side, I gripped at my sides, I could feel the blackness coming, I prayed for it to come quickly. To release me from the agony, I prayed it would come quickly. I curled as tight as I could into the fetal position; he gripped my hair pulling me to my feet, ripping hair from my head and I screamed out and clutched at his hands.

“You are a worthless slut. Why do you make me do this?” He spat into my ear.

I couldn’t respond I just let out a whimper my body was overwhelmed with pain. He threw me back to the floor and continued to kick at me, my legs, abdomen, arms, back. The only place he avoided was my face. I felt the wall connect with my back as his final kick projected me across the floor again. I heard him unbuckling his belt and I couldn’t help my body’s reaction, I knew what was coming and I tried to crawl across the floor to hide under the table but again I screamed out as a pain overloaded me. I could feel the nausea coming, I fought at it, I swallowed hard and tried to breathe deeply but my ribs hurt too much and I screamed out in agony again.

“Urgh...you dirty bitch” I vomited over his shoes. The retching was insufferably painful, tears streamed down my face. He lifted my head with a grip of my hair and dragged me across the floor, slamming me into the closed cupboard door.

“Clean it up you dirty fucking freak
.” He screamed, with each word the belt torn into me. I wanted to scream but I only coughed and gagged.

I tried to get on all fours but the pain was unbearably and I cried out. I couldn’t do it.

“Get” I felt his belt strike the back of my legs “up!”

“I can’t” I gasped out. I tried to roll to a position to get leverage to get up. Still the pain paralysed me, and I slumped to the floor again. I felt two more thrashes of the belt. To his further disgust I lost control of my bladder and urinated.

“Oh sweetheart there is no way you will be able to go to Salisbury now is there?” He laughed maniacally.

And there was the reason for this beating; he hated the idea of me going on a business trip.

I couldn’t breathe, the constriction and pain in my chest was unbearable. I wasn’t on the floor in the kitchen anymore; I had been put into bed in my room. Elliott never attacked my face or anywhere people would see he was very careful to avoid that. He faced too many questions when in the past he had struck me on my face and caused bruising. I tried to lift myself up but I couldn’t and cried out in pain.

“Baby girl are you alright?” Dad came running into my room. He stood staring at me in panic.

“I’m...” I couldn’t breathe let alone speak. I gasped for breath.

“Jesus...you’re bleeding. Marie
!” He yelled and came across to me. My mother entered the room quickly.

“Eve?” concern etched on her face. I could only imagine what I looked like.

“We need to get her to the hospital, I don’t care what Elliott said.” Alan stated rather than asked. He put his hands under me to lift me from the bed but when he applied pressure to lift I screamed out in agony. I wanted to say I couldn’t go to the hospital but I could hardly breathe let alone speak. “Shit, sorry. Oh God, get an ambulance Marie.” He turned to my mother who stood staring at me “Marie!” He shouted snapping my mother out of her stupor.

“Sorry
.” She quickly left the room.

The next thing I knew I was being raced through the A&E department in the local hospital. Dad was holding my hand the entire way. “She is going to be alright, please tell me she will be alright
.” He pleaded.

“Sir we need to know what happened. Then we can take care of her.” The A&E nurse said.

“I don’t know. We’ve been away for the weekend, when we came home Monday, Elliott...her boyfriend said she’d been attacked after going to a nightclub, something about she wanted something to eat. She refused to go to hospital so he took her home and put her in bed. He said she didn’t seem too badly injured but look at her” his voice breaking with every word. “How could this happen when he was with you Evelyn? How could he let this happen? Why didn’t he ring an ambulance? Jesus!”

“Sir we need to keep Evelyn calm
.” He placed his hand on dad’s shoulder. “So she has been this way for two days?”

“Yes. Elliott said she just slept, she hasn’t left her room” Alan replied guiltily. “I assumed Elliott would have called someone had it been this bad. He’s a bloody idiot.”

I felt helpless as lights flashed around me; everything seemed a blur, a reality I couldn’t quite grasp. I felt like I was partly awake and sleep, drifting between the two. I could hear voices around me, questions being asked and my name being called but all I could manage was a mumble and grunt here and there. My body felt gloriously numb, I like this feeling, and it felt like I was floating.

****

“Good afternoon, my name is Dr Bennett. How are you feeling Miss Beaumont?” The Dr stood over me, holding a clip board of notes. She had a very warm and calming nature about her and I immediately felt at ease.

“Sore” I whispered, my throat was hoarse and incredibly dry. I felt like I’d been asleep for weeks, but still needed another few hours.

“Do you want some water?” She questioned. My voice must have been raspier than I thought. I nodded and she held the glass to my mouth. I was semi-sat up but winced when I tried to sit a little further forward.

“Miss Beaumont...”

“Eve.” I whispered.

She smiled in response “Eve, we have the results of your x-rays. You have badly bruised ribs and a very small hairline fracture on the lower left side ribs, and severe bruising around your abdomen and lower back. You have also a broken metacarpal in your right hand. From what I understand about the incident surrounding your injuries this is most likely a defense injury
.” She looked up at me. “You also have swelling around the base of your lumbar sacral; this may explain the increased pain you have in your back. It has also affected your bladder movements. You will have a catheter until the swelling goes down, and then we can assess the extent of the damage. We have run tests while you were unconscious and luckily you don’t appear to have lost any sensation in your legs, the fact you responded whilst unconscious is tremendous. We have been intravenously been administering Corticosteroids to help reduce the swelling to your spinal cord.”

She paused and looked over her notes again.

“Eve, you have severe bruising around your upper and lower body. Many have ascertained a certain shape of bruising which would suggest you were struck with an implement of some kind, they are suggestive...of possibly a...belt or lash.” She looked at me again checking my reaction. “Eve, your injuries are very serious and we advise that you stay in hospital for observation, you are currently on pain medication so we need to stabilise that and have you on a much lower dosage before we discharge you.” She glanced at her notes then back at me again “I think I have given you enough information today. Eve, the police have been waiting outside to speak with you...”

“I can’t” I gasped, and then wished I’d stayed silent as a shot of pain cursed through my entire body. I wrapped my hand around my chest.

“Okay, but this is a severe attack, and you don’t have to be afraid. We are all here to help you.” She gently patted my shoulder. “You don’t have to be afraid here.”

Tears came to my eyes and I closed them trying to suppress the urge to release how I felt.

“Eve?” Dr Bennett spoke in a soft voice.

“I cannot speak to the police, please.” I pleaded with my eyes.

“That’s fine.” She smiled “when you are feeling a little stronger, I will leave you some things to read whilst your here.” She placed the leaflets on my dresser and said her goodbyes and that she would be making her rounds a little later

****

I heard the door open and slowly opened my eyes and turned my head to see mum and dad creeping into the room.

“Hey sweetheart, we didn’t want to wake you sorry.”
mum said coming to the side of the bed and placing a gentle kiss to my forehead.

“S’
okay.” I croaked out.

“Do you need a drink
?” She asked, I simply nodded.

“Hey baby girl. We brought you these
,” he said showing me a gorgeous bouquet of exotic flowers.

I smiled “thank you” I tried to sit up but winced when pain shot up my spine. I closed my eyes and took a deep raspy breath. “God it hurts” I choked out.

“Do you want me to fetch a nurse?” mum asked with panic in her voice. I shook my head ‘no’. The door swung open the very vision of my nightmares walked in holding the biggest bouquet of red roses I had ever seen and a cute grey teddy that was holding a little red banner saying ‘I love you this much’. But more terrifying, he was also holding my little sister’s hand. I swallowed my yelp as my body started to tremble. My hands under the covers clenched into fists and I willed my heart rate to slow down, thankfully I wasn’t wired to any machines otherwise they would be going ape-shit right now. I stared at Ellie, trying to see if there was any fear or hurt in her eyes as she looked up at the monster holding her hand.

“What...are...you...doing...with...Ellie?” I croaked out, my voice suddenly hoarse with emotion.

“Hey Angel,” he said very quietly and nervously walked towards the bed; he released Ellie’s hand and smiled down at her. He approached me slowly and I saw the satisfied glint in his eyes, he was delivering a silent message.

I didn’t say anything I just focused on his approach, my gaze flicking between him and Ellie. I heard
mum let out a long breath and I could feel the tension coming from dad. His body radiated with pure anger.

Elliott leaned over the bed and softly kisses me on the mouth. That’s when I felt a scratchy lump. I looked up at him properly and gasped. He had a horrible bruise under his eye and a thick swollen lip, he obviously had a painful cut there.

“What happened?” I asked nodding to his face.

He looked over to my
dad guiltily then back at me with an apologetic look “nothing I don’t deserve,” he said softly and looked down at the bear he was holding.

“What?” I asked slightly panicked and looked at
dad who was staring daggers at Elliott. I had never seen my father look at anyone with such pent up rage. God did they know about what happened, I didn’t want that; I didn’t want to face the shame and utter disgust from my parents. Is that why he had Ellie, had he taken her and followed through on his threat to break her also. I started panting, my chest heaving with panicked breaths.

“Damn right you deserved it, you should have been protecting her not getting pissed –“

“Alan please,” mum pleaded “we’ve been through this, he said he was sorry and he didn’t –“

“He’s right, Marie. I should have been there to protect her.” Elliott looked straight into my eyes “I’m sorry you got hurt, I will make sure it never happens again I promise. It kills me to see you like this angel.”

I didn’t understand my eyes scanned the people around me needing to understand what had been discovered.

“Sorry doesn’t make it alright” snapped
dad.

“Alan –“

“I know okay, I should have been there. But I wasn’t and I have to live with that. My girlfriend got hurt and I should have been there to stop it and I wasn’t. We’d had an argument and like an idiot I stormed off in a huff –“

“You,”
dad stood and pointed his finger at Elliott. “Don’t deserve her. A man would not leave his girlfriend outside a bar in the dark with drunken idiots about just because his pride was a little hurt from an argument. Grow up you little shit”

“Alan!”
mum called louder, pulling at dad’s elbow. “She doesn’t need this right now” Dad’s face was ashen.

“You think I'm mad wait until your brother hears about it
.” Dad scoffed menacingly. Elliott snorted and I turned to look at him

“
She is my girlfriend, not his.” He growled.

“But you let her get hurt. They could have killed her
.” Dad looked down at me and the anger seemed to subside a little as his own words sunk in “I could have lost you baby girl.” Dad whispered kissing the top of my head.

I closed my eyes as tears welled in them.

“Come on lets go get something to drink and get Eve something to eat” mum said softly pulling at dad’s arm. He conceded and the quietly left the room.

“Daddy Ell-oot is taking me to the play park
.” Ellie said coming up beside Elliott and holding his hand, she had the sweetest smile on her face and dread punched me in the gut. Tears sprang to my eyes as Elliott’s silent message was broadcasted in my mind. Keep your mouth shut or I hurt your sister.

“Well let’s get you a drink first”
mum said taking hold of Ellie’s other hand.

“Ellie.
..” I choked “Elliott can’t take you to the park today sweetie; he needs to stay here with me to help get me better”

Her little face dropped and I hated making her sad.

“But...you see if I get better quicker we can all go to the park” I offered. Her smile returned relaxing me a little.

As the door closed Elliott let out a loud relieved breath. I stared at the lump in the sheets where my feet were. I couldn’t look up at him, if he attacked me again I knew my body would have zero tolerance and this would be my pathetic end.

“I am so, so sorry angel. I...God it just all got out of hand. You make me crazy sometimes and I’d had a drink. You know I can’t control my temper when I drink.” I simply nodded.

“It won’t happen again I swear, just...just don’t push so much
okay? I love you, we belong together. You talking about us breaking up kills me, it makes me mental when you say stuff like that. I wouldn’t go crazy if you just...just acted like a normal girlfriend okay?”

Again I nodded; I knew this was coming, that he would blame me. The fact is I do know what his temper is like so I should have tried harder to placate him instead of antagonising him, when he has the added bonus of alcohol in his system arguing with him is like poking a bear with a stick.

“We can forget this happened, yeah?” He bent his head to look me in the eye.

I nodded sealing my fate. “Just leave Ellie...with
mum and dad okay?” I whispered.

He smiled triumphantly. Then leaned in and kissed me full on the mouth. “Good girl, you are slowly learning”

****

I had been in hospital nine days before they considered discharging me. The pain was still bad but manageable with strong pain relief. The swelling on my spine had improved dramatically and I had the control of my bladder back, although I still suffered muscle spasms in my legs but I had learnt how to deal with those. I could walk around if I took it slowly and didn’t rush myself. Elliott had not been back to visit me in the hospital, apparently he had been sent to Scotland to work on a re- development project there, I was extremely happy about that,
mum and dad had questioned me about it and asked if we had split up over what had happened. I could only hope one day that would happen. But I had a feeling he wouldn’t leave that easily. After the attack I felt emotionally numb, my usual fear and anxiety had evaporated and left me empty. I didn’t want to wake up once I fell asleep, I didn’t want to eat and I barely felt like drinking. I just existed nothing penetrated through the fog of bleakness. I could only assume it was the strength of the tablets making me feel this way. I made mum and dad bring Ellie everyday to see if I could see any change in her, but she remained the happy cherub I loved so much.