Elemental Release (10 page)

“And how do you want things to be between us?” she asked, keeping her back to me.

I reached out to touch her, but pulled back. “Will you look at me, please?” I made my tone soft, the way I’d speak to a wounded animal I was trying to help.

She sighed as she turned, her arms still crossed tightly. She wouldn’t look at me, so I gently took her chin and guided her eyes to mine. She softened instantly, and I felt a rush of satisfaction that I could influence her so strongly.

“I love you,” I said, somewhat carefully, so she’d know I wasn’t just saying words. “That’s how I want it to be between us.”

I tugged on her sweatshirt sleeve. “So take that off and come tell me a story I haven’t heard yet. I promise to be a perfect gentleman.” I left her bedroom and settled into my couch-bed, so she’d know I really meant what I’d said.

She didn’t come out right away, giving me too much time to think about us. I wanted her to know I loved her, trusted her. I wanted to know she loved me, trusted me. She’d never said those words to me, and just because she melted in my arms or her anger faded when she looked at me didn’t mean she ever would.

Airmaster Rusk had recently asked me to meditate, to envision situations how I wanted them to be. So I closed my eyes and imagined what life might look like if Gabby and I really were together. If she said she loved me, trusted me, wanted me. I thought about how happy I’d be if she laid down next to me at night, and I could wake up next to her in the morning. I envisioned a life where we told each other everything, where we worked our Elements together, coaxing the fire and the air to marry and be friends.

“What are you smiling about?” Gabby’s question snapped the glorious fantasies parading through my mind.

“Nothing,” I mumbled, opening my eyes to see her settle cross-legged on the couch opposite from me. She’d taken off the sweatshirt and changed into her pajamas. Her hair had been pulled back into a ponytail, making her look younger.

“Oh, come on.”

“Rusk asked me to meditate. That’s what I was doing.”

“What were you thinking about?”

She constantly wanted to know what I was thinking, probably because she knew I could tell what she had on her mind any time I wanted.

“You,” I said honestly.

She fidgeted with the cuffs of her pajama pants. “I think about you a lot, too,” she said.

I pushed myself up so I could see her face better. “Really?”

“You don’t have to sound so surprised,” she said, smiling.

“Are they good thoughts?” I asked.

“Mostly.” She looked right at me, pinning my gaze to hers. She carefully slipped off the couch and knelt in front of me. She kissed me, and a rush of desire flowed through me.

“You know,” she said, pulling away and sitting back on her heels. “You don’t have to sleep out here.”

My mind raced to catch up with what she’d said. “You—you want me to come sleep with you?” My voice came out too high. I almost tacked a “Really?” onto the end of that, but restrained myself just in time.

“My bed is really big,” she said. “And….” She looked over her shoulder toward the bedroom. “I’m not—I don’t want—Infernos.”

She looked at me again. “I’m not ready for all that, but I want us, I mean, this is how I want us to be too.” She swallowed hard. “So if that’s okay with you, you know, for now, then yeah, I want you to come sleep in the bed with me.”

Slowly, so as to not look too eager, I tossed aside the blanket around my legs, stood, and took her hand. We went into the bedroom together, but she laid down first. I got in the bed on the other side, and she immediately rolled into my arms. She tucked herself into my side, and I kissed her forehead.

I fell asleep happier than I could ever remember being.

Gabby showered first,
as her lessons required her to be downstairs before dawn. I laid in bed and listened to her hum over the water, trying not to imagine her without any clothes on. I pretended to be asleep when she came out of the bathroom, but when the bed moved, I gave up the act.

“Hey,” she said, smiling. She sat on the edge of the bed, fully dressed and much too far away.

“Hey,” I said.

She fiddled with her fingers. “This…this isn’t weird, is it?”

I sat up and scooted to sit next to her. I took her shaking hands and held them in mind. “No, it’s not weird.”

She nodded, but I could tell she didn’t believe me. I gently lifted her face so she’d look at me. “Seriously, okay? I want everything to be right between us. I
need
everything to be right between us. So I’m willing to go as slow or…whatever that you want.”

She gripped me in a tight hug, and I stole a few thoughts from her mind. Of all things, she felt grateful for my willingness to go at her pace. “Thank you,” she whispered into my neck. “I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Definitely.”

She gave me one last timid smile as she left the bedroom, and I made the shower as cold as possible.

Morning lessons found me on the cliffs again, about ten miles northeast of Tarpulin. I gazed at the city, thinking about Gabby. I wondered if I could ask her outright what she needed from me to speed things up. I dismissed the idea. Doing such a thing would only make me look overeager and exactly the opposite of what I claimed to be—willing to go at her pace.

“Adam?” Airmaster Rusk put his hand on my shoulder.

“Hm?” I turned to find concern etched on his face.

“I called you twice,” he said. “What’s on your mind?”

“Gabby,” I sighed before thinking. My stomach tightened, but Rusk motioned for me to continue. I wasn’t used to talking about my feelings, and I took a moment to clear my throat. “She’s the last thing on my list, sir.”

“And how are things going?”

“Okay, I guess,” I said. “She invited me to stay at her place, so that’s good. It’s progress, at least.”

“Do you trust her?” he asked.

“Explicitly.”

“But she doesn’t trust you.”

My shoulders felt heavy. With all the progress I’d made over the past couple of months, I’d felt lighter in both body and spirit. But this still felt like too much to carry. I shook my head. “No, sir. I don’t think she does.”

“She will,” he said. “Give it more time.”

I nodded, knowing he spoke wisely. Still, I felt like I needed to make things right immediately.
Let go of what you can’t control,
I told myself. I looked up. “Okay, so what’s the task this morning?”

My mentor grinned, but it held a wicked tilt. “Grip the jet stream, tame it, and break it into pieces.”

I looked into the sky, wishing the act of completing his request could be done as easily as speaking it.

I could find the jet stream easily now. It roared like thunder through the atmosphere, on a path only it could find and follow. “That’s not true,” Rusk whispered in my ear. “As an Airmaster, you can make the jet stream follow the path
you
want it to.”

I ignored him as I listened to the air in the stream. It loved to soar, wild through the sky. I did too.

The air sang when it found my presence lurking, and the currents on the ground whipped around my body. I took more time listening to the jet stream, trying to find its core. With my eyes pressed closed, I finally found the absence of sound—the eye of the madly rushing currents.

I inserted my power there, seizing the calm air as the violent stream flowed by. I pushed the jet stream down, down, down through the atmosphere until I could physically grab it. A shrieking whistling noise filled the space around me; my clothes flapped in the fierce wind.

But I held on. I felt euphoric—I’d gripped and moved the jet stream!

I heard Rusk’s voice, soft as a whisper, enter my ears. “Nicely done, Airmaster. Tame it. Listen to it, and coax it into doing what you want it to do. Remember, you’re in control here.”

I’m in control, I’m in control
, I chanted mentally.

My body bucked as the stream tried to free itself and reinsert itself where it belonged. The air was too powerful to be this close to the earth, and everyone and everything within five miles knew it.

I squinted into the darkening atmosphere, seeing the almost black rope of the stream as it punctured the blue sky around it. The few late fall plants that hadn’t shriveled yet laid flat against the ground—which was exactly how I felt I should be positioned to work with this jet stream.

“Tame it,” Rusk said again, this time more urgency in his voice.

I’m trying!
I thought.

I forced all other thoughts out of my mind. Using the skills I’d gained as I meditated, I cleared the distractions, both physically and mentally.

The stream weakened, whether by my own calm center or because it simply couldn’t fight forever, I didn’t know. I loosened my hold just a fraction, whispering the soothing words Hanai used to say to an animal after a kill. I didn’t know exactly what they meant, but it didn’t matter. I’d felt my own soul quiet when Hanai chanted.

The air responded to my words, slithering through my fingers like warm water. I almost heard it respond to me, but the slippery rush of syllables got swallowed by the enormous sound of a landslide.

My grip slipped.

The air pulsed, jerking to get free.

I lost control at the same moment Airmaster Rusk yelled.

I felt myself falling, falling, falling.

The stream roared in triumph before everything went still and silent.

I opened my eyes. Above me, the sky swirled with purple, blue, and black. The bruised affect wasn’t lost of me as I rubbed my elbow, which had struck rock when I’d fallen.

I regained my feet to find Airmaster Rusk holding the stream with one hand. He smiled at it; his mouth moved. He released the stream and it went happily back to its place high above the clouds.

“Well done,” he said, but I tightened my jaw and watched the last of the stained sky turn blue again.

I hadn’t done well, and I didn’t want to hear him say I had. I’d fought with the air, used a method not prescribed in my training, and fallen on my face.

Two days before Liz was set to leave Rhyss, I completely missed my morning class. I didn’t hear Gabby shower, kiss me, or leave—our now-usual routine. I didn’t move until Rusk put his icy hand on my head.

“Are you ill?” he asked.

I closed my eyes and moaned. “Tired,” I mumbled. I’d been up for most of the night for the past six weeks. Waiting for Liz’s messages, translating them if necessary, transcribing them, and then going over the data with Gabby had drained me.

And if I was tired, Gabby was the walking dead. I didn’t know how she kept going. My body simply wouldn’t.

“I’ll expect you tomorrow,” he said, and I muttered something. I still hadn’t been able to control the jet stream, though I could find it and bring it under my power within seconds now. I didn’t want to get out of bed for at least another day. Especially since winter had hit Tarpulin harder than usual this year, even going so far as sending snow flurries through the city.

I vaguely heard the door close before I settled deeper into my bed and fell back asleep.