Elizabeth Mansfield (18 page)

Chapter 24

Once the idea of departure was accepted by both Cicely and Eva, Cassie did not take long to put it into execution. By the next morning the carriage their host offered them for their transport home was loaded with their luggage, and by nine the three ladies were dressed and ready for travel.

Mrs. Upsom and Eva's abigail were already seated in the phaeton when Eva, Cicely and Cassie came downstairs. The small household staff had lined up in the entryway to say good-bye. Mrs. Stemple wept unashamedly. Hickham boldly stepped forward and actually shook Cassie's hand. "Best of luck to ye, m'lady," he said gruffly, and blew his nose into a large handkerchief. After he recovered, he added, "I 'ope ye'll come back soon."

Jeremy, Charles and Clive were pacing about outside, near the carriage. But they stopped in their tracks when the ladies emerged, and they watched, motionless, as the three of them descended the stairs.

It was an almost silent little group that milled about at the side of the carriage. Jeremy was the first to act. He kissed Eva's hand and handed her up. Then Cicely turned to Charles. "I hope you'll come to Crest—" she began, holding out her hand to him.

But the brash young nephew stepped between them and took her hand for himself. "I hear that Crestwoods is only fifteen miles distant," he said with his charming grin. "You can wager I'll call on you tomorrow." And before she could turn back to Charles, Clive was lifting her up on the steps.

If Charles was frustrated by this usurpation of his opportunity to say his farewells, he gave no sign of it. "Good-bye, Cicely, my dear," he said to her over the boy's shoulder. "All the best."

Meanwhile, Jeremy turned to Cassie, his jaw set and his mouth stiff. 'There's no need for good-byes," he said with stern dispassion. "We've already said them."

"Yes, we have." Nevertheless she put out her hand. "But I haven't said my thanks," she said, unable to keep a slight tremor from her voice.

"No need for that, either." But he took her hand and held it for a moment before he wrenched his eyes from hers and handed her up.

Hickham, who'd followed the ladies down, shut the carriage door and jumped up on the box, having insisted that he and no other would act as coachman. He flicked his whip at the horses, and the vehicle moved briskly down the drive. Inside, mother and daughter turned on their seats to take a last look out the rear window, each one hoping that the other would not see her tears. Cicely's heart jumped as she saw Charles lift an arm in a long farewell wave. For Cassie there was no such comfort. Jeremy was already gone.

Chapter 25

In spite of everything, the return to Crestwoods turned out to be a joyful occasion. Clemson, who'd received word the night before that his mistress was returning, had filled the entryway, the drawing room and all the bedrooms with bowls full of May flowers—jonquils and larkspur and bright pink dianthus. Cook prepared a festive welcoming dinner of two full courses, each one boasting more than a dozen dishes. (Not one of the three returning ladies admitted aloud that her cooking was less inspiring, even on this special evening, than any one of Mrs. Stemple's most simple meals.) Every housemaid and footman beamed at them. There was no question that everyone was glad that Lady Beringer and family were home again.

Cassie herself was overwhelmed with emotion, although she couldn't quite decide what the emotion was. She walked from room to room, letting her eyes drink in every familiar object— the chairs in the dining room, the escritoire in the study, the painting of her grandfather that hung over the drawing room fireplace, the still life of a violin and candle—a work of her own—that hung in her bedroom. Seeing it all again had a poignancy that no one who'd not experienced memory loss could possibly imagine. Not so long ago, she hadn't been able to bring any of this to mind. Now she was. actually here, moving among these precious pieces of her life; she could see them, touch them,
remember
them. It was all so blessedly
familiar.
She was home!

But what made the emotion ambiguous was that now she had a memory of another home, one that she'd grown to love as much as this one. In it was a bedroom that looked out on a pond with a waterwheel, and a room in a turret with the most amazing light.

As she climbed into her own bed that night, however, she told herself she must not think too much about that other house. She was delighted to be in her own bed, to feel the familiar carving of the bedpost under her fingers, to slide into the worn grooves of the mattress that fitted her body so well, to pull her own old goose-down counterpane up to her neck and breathe in its funny, musty, deliciously familiar smell. It was true joy to be home again. Dwelling on what she could
not
have would only bring pain and poison her joy in what she had.

Life quickly settled into the old, comfortable routine. Cassie busied herself with the details of housekeeping, with gardening, with taking walks with her sister and her daughter, and with her painting. Eva talked daily about returning to London, but with the weather so pleasant, she didn't go. Life here was too deliciously lazy to give up.

The only change in their lives was the frequent presence of Clive Percy. It seemed to Cassie that he called almost every other day. He was obviously courting Cicely. They rode together, played cards together, took walks together and generally seemed to enjoy each other's company in spite of the fact that they quarreled and taunted each other constantly. Cassie often wondered, as she watched them tossing a ball or cavorting on the lawn, if something more than friendship was developing between them, but after a while she decided that they were more like brother and sister than lovers. Cicely clearly did not take Clive seriously.

Besides, when Cicely thought no one was watching her, her face took on a sad, yearning expression that could only be called lovelorn. She would scarcely be lovelorn for someone who was constantly underfoot, Cassie reasoned. Cassie firmly believed she knew what brought that expression of longing to her daughter's face: the girl was missing Jeremy. But the fortnight of delay that Jeremy had asked for was quickly passing. Cicely's heartache would soon end.
Don't worry, my love,
Cassie told her daughter in heartfelt, unspoken messages,
he'll be here soon. Just give him a little time.

Matters took an unexpected turn one afternoon when, after one of their vigorous rides, Clive and Cicely came clumping into the house in their riding boots and made their noisy way down the hall to the library. They found Cassie at her easel, working diligently on her
Still Life with Lemons,
and Eva contentedly engaged in needlework. "I've just stopped in to say my adieux," the boy said from the doorway, taking off his riding cap and tucking it under his arm.

Eva looked up from her embroidery frame. "Won't you stay to tea?" she asked in surprise.

"Not today."

"He has to get back to the Park to see to his packing," Cicely explained, idly striking her riding crop against her boots, her eyes lowered.

"Packing?" Eva asked curiously.

Clive nodded. "This good-bye is my last, I'm afraid, ma'am. We're going back to London tomorrow."

Cassie's brush dropped to the floor.
"We?"
she asked.

"Yes. When Uncle Charles suggested it, I didn't object." The boy threw a lugubrious glance at Cicely. "After all, there's little incentive for me to stay. I've been rejected by this stubborn daughter of yours three times."

"I should be returning to London myself," Eva remarked, returning to her sewing. "The season is already in full swing."
I wish I could take Cicely with me,
she added to herself.
Especially if Jeremy will be there.
She had not yet given up hope of the match that was still dear to her heart.

"I hope you all have a pleasant journey," Cassie murmured absently as she picked up her brush. Her brain was in a turmoil. Was Jeremy included in that "we"?
How can he be going off to London when he's promised to come here?
she asked herself.

Meanwhile, Cicely had taken Clive's arm. "I'll see him out," she said, pulling him firmly away from the library doorway and down the hall.

"I hope you realize, Miss Beringer," Clive said as they neared the front door, "that I leave you a broken man."

"Oh, pooh! You know perfectly well that we're nothing more than good chums."

"Only because you won't permit me to be more to you."
 

"What humbug. You don't want more than a riding companion any more than I do."
 

He snorted. "So you say."

"Let's not go over this again," she said dismissively. "I want to speak to you about something else entirely." She dropped her eyes and tapped her riding crop nervously against her boots. "Did your uncle send any message for me?"

"No. Were you expecting one?"

"I thought... at least a good-bye ..."

"Of course he sent his best to all of you. I didn't think you meant something as innocuous as all that."

Her eyes flew up to his face. "Were those his exact words? 'Send my best to all of them'?"

Clive shrugged indifferently. "More or less. What does it matter?"

Somehow the riding crop snapped in two in her hand. "You're right," she said, biting her lower lip. "It doesn't matter at all."

Later, after she'd seen him off, she wandered listlessly back to the library and dropped down upon the sofa. "So that's that," she said moodily.

Eva raised her brows. "Heavens, child, has the boy's departure upset you?"

"No, Aunt Eva. Nothing's upset me."

Cassie wiped her hands and crossed the room to her. "You do seem depressed, my love," she murmured, sitting down beside her. "I know it's hard to lose a friend."

Cicely nodded. "It will be very quiet here, I suppose, without Clive's boisterous company."

"If that's how you feel," Eva said, plying her needle with unduly close attention, "you shouldn't have rejected his three offers."

"Just because I may miss him as a riding companion, Aunt," the girl retorted, "doesn't mean I want him as a husband. Besides, he's too boyish for wedlock. All he wants to do is race his horses and go with his chums to sporting events."

"That's just how I suspected you felt about him," her mother said with a small smile.

Eva, too, was smiling in relief. "But that still leaves you without a companion," she pointed out, as if the idea had just struck her, "and with very little to occupy you. You ought to come with me to London."

The very word electrified Cicely. "To
London?
"
she echoed, sitting up straight.

"Don't be foolish," Cassie said at once. "She can't go off to London now."

"No, of course I can't," the girl agreed. "I wouldn't dream of leaving you alone."

"It's not that. It's not that at all." Cassie peered at her daughter in awkward helplessness. "It's just that... in a few days ..." But she couldn't go on. It would ruin everything if she indicated in any way that she knew Jeremy was coming to renew his offer.

"What, Mama? In a few days, what?"

"Nothing. Only that in a few days the... the early roses will be blooming."

Eva cast her a look of utter disgust. "As if Cicely cares for that!" she exclaimed.

Cassie twisted her fingers in her lap, her mind whirling. She did not know if Jeremy himself was off to London. But he couldn't be! He'd promised to call on Cicely in a fortnight. That fortnight had almost passed. He would not break his word; she was sure of that. He'd be here any day now!

On the other hand, she had the impression from Clive's words that Jeremy
was
going to London with the other two. If so, why? He was not the sort to run away from an obligation. Perhaps he believed that Cicely would return to London for the season, and he could resume his courtship there. Of
course!
That
must
be it! It was the only sensible answer. How much more comfortable it would be for Jeremy if he could pursue Cicely far away from the watchful eye of his prospective mother-in-law! "You're right, Eva, of course," she said, looking up and nodding decisively. "I don't know what I was thinking of. Cicely
must
go to London with you. It will be the very best thing for her."

"How can you
say
that, Mama?" Cicely jumped to her feet and glared down at her mother like an accusing barrister. "Do you think I would go off to pursue my own pleasures and leave you alone, after all you've been through?"

"But, dearest, I'm completely well again. And I like being alone."

"No, I won't hear of it." Cicely turned her back on her mother and stomped across the room to underline her determination.

"Really, Cicely, you are being as stubborn as Clive said you were. Don't you
want
to go to London for the season? There's so much more to interest you in town than here."

"That may be, but I can't possibly, in good conscience—"

Cassie rose, followed her daughter across the room and slipped her arm about her waist. "Will it ease your conscience if I promise to come to London myself in a few weeks?"

Cicely turned about slowly, her eyes lighting with hope. "Would you, Mama? Word of honor?"

"You have my word. A month at most."

"Oh, Mama!" She wrapped her arms about her mother in an ecstatic embrace. "I
do
want to go to London just now. But only if you're sure you'll be all right without me."

Cassie patted her cheek reassuringly. "Don't worry about me, my love. I'll be just fine."

Chapter 26

Cassie did not miss Eva and Cicely very much. At least, not for the first two days. It was good to be alone for a while. She needed solitude. She needed to be free of the strain of smiling and being cheerful. She needed privacy, so that she might weep and feel sorry for herself a little. But most of all, she needed to concentrate on making plans for the future, and it was good not to have the distraction of company.