Ellie's Wolf (13 page)

Shame tried to pierce her, prickling over the back of her neck, but she refused to be ashamed. “Quill’s a good man. He’s not you, but he’s a good man.” She leaned to press a kiss to the cold gravestone. “I love you, Neal. I’ll never forget you. You’ll always be my husband. I’ll be sure Connor remembers you.” She stood, feeling as stiff as an old lady, and picked up the lantern. “Good-bye.”

Paint and White Horse fell into step behind her as she passed them, and together they walked in silence back to the house. As they went by the mill, Ellie drew a sharp breath. A man’s body dangled from a makeshift gallows. She swallowed a churning lump that leaped into her throat. It might have been horror, or triumph, or something else, but she was too confused to sort it out.

“Don’t look,” Paint urged her. “Let’s get back to the house.”

The kitchen was quiet. Sara and Mel sat at the table drinking coffee and talking quietly. Sara jumped up to pour another cup and gave it to Ellie. “You okay?”

Ellie warmed her hands by wrapping them around the hot mug and took a chair at the table. “I will be.”

Mel fidgeted for a moment with the handle of her coffee mug. “Can Stone really smell when someone lies?”

“I guess so.” Ellie drank and realized the coffee wasn’t made with the high quality beans that Rye’s traders had transported. This was thin and bitter, cut with chicory or roasted barley. She drank it anyway, to combat the leaden weariness that dragged at her. “I know Taye can smell really well too. He could always tell when I was unhappy, even when I smiled and laughed to hide it.”

“I wonder if Stone can do it to anyone. Maybe he could come to the Flying D and—”

Mel broke off when the door opened again and Quill came in. For a second Ellie blinked with confusion because, for a moment, she’d expected to see Neal in that familiar doorway. She shook her head as an ice pick jabbed her heart. Neal was dead. He had been dead for five months. Her smile at Quill was forced.

His face was very stern, but his expression was tinged with gentle sorrow. “It’s late.” He seemed to be speaking only to her. “Would you rather stay the night here and get going in the morning?”

Ellie watched her hand move her coffee mug in little circles over the table, not sure what he wanted to hear. “Mr. Moore is dead, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. The mayor of Mooreton is married to Mrs. Moore’s sister. He didn’t like the idea that his sister-in-law was murdered. We hanged Moore.”

Ellie glanced quickly at Tommy sleeping on the floor. “What about Matthew?”

“The mayor took him. We’re keeping Tommy.” His generous mouth tightened for just a moment. “Since the boys don’t get along, and they needed the ten gold I paid for the right for us to adopt him, they agreed we could keep him.”

A rush of gratitude swept over her. “Thank you, Quill.”

He tipped his head forward in a move that would have sent his hair sliding over his eyes if it hadn’t been tied back. “Had to promise we’d write to Mrs. Justiss about Tommy at least four times a year, and he’d write himself when he’s a little older.”

“That’s fair, isn’t it? We can do that.”

“Yeah, we can do that. So what do you say? Stay here tonight or push on?”

“Let’s leave. Let’s get away from here right now.”

He reached a hand toward her as if he wanted to touch her face. When she didn’t lean forward to meet his hand, he let it drop. “We’ll leave right away then.”

Ellie woke in the cool, damp dark, seeing a faint glow in the distance that signaled dawn was not far off. They had travelled for a few hours last night before making camp. There wasn’t enough room in the tent for all three women and the two boys, and since Connor refused to be separated from her, she had curled up outside with the boys. She’d slept for only a few hours after a grueling day, but she felt good. Connor was a warm ball resting in the curve of her body. Tommy was a sprawled weight against her back. She pressed a sleepy kiss to Connor’s hair. Her relief that he was there with her was almost ferocious. It had been only ten hours since she’d been reunited with her son. It would take much longer than that for her to relax.

A shadow moved only five feet from her. Her quick spurt of alarm was soothed by the familiar wavy outline of hair pulled back from a tall forehead to spill in curls to broad shoulders.

“Quill?” she whispered after waiting a minute for him to speak or move. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just watching my family sleep.”

His family. The note of possession in his voice started a tremble in Ellie’s fingers as she stroked Connor’s hair. It sounded good. Family was safety and love. It had been three years since she’d felt part of a family. Or maybe longer.

“Does that bother you?” he asked. “That I think of you and Connor and Tommy as my family?”

Words stuck in her throat. Connor was Neal’s son. “No.” She swallowed, wondering if that was a lie. No, it wasn’t. Neal was dead. Murdered. Pain pierced her heart, but she forced it back. “I want to be part of a family. I want to be safe.”

Quill eased closer to her. “Are you cold? You’re shaking. Are you crying?”

The worry in his voice touched Ellie. He might be almost a stranger, but he seemed to truly care about her. She found herself lifted away from the boys and cradled on Quill’s lap. A quick glance at the boys and she saw that they were tucked under the blanket, rolling toward each other like puppies snuggling close in their sleep. After a hesitation she obeyed the gentle pressure of Quill’s hand to lay her head on his shoulder. Even sitting in his lap, she was shorter than he.

“What’s wrong, Ellie? Is it Moore?” She felt his throat work as he swallowed. “Is it me?”

“No.” She struggled with words. Quill hadn’t done anything wrong. “I’m lucky. I could be married to someone horrible right now, who wouldn’t want Connor, or Tommy. Thank you.”

“It’s not your gratitude I want.”

Ellie was acutely aware of Sara and Mel sleeping only a few yards away in the flimsy tent and a dozen men with extremely sharp ears in the area. She lowered her voice to an almost soundless whisper.

“But you have it anyway. Family is important to me. I want to be part of a strong family. I grew up in Odessa. You knew that, didn’t you? I didn’t have much family. My mother was from Kearney, but she died when I was only a little girl. I didn’t know any of her family because the people of Odessa avoided Kearney. They thought Kearney was sinful and worldly. My dad had just one sister.”

“Aunt Naomi.”

“Yes. Taye’s mother. You probably know more about that than I do. I was always told that she’d been stolen by demon-possessed monsters. When I was sixteen, my dad died. The elders were going to marry me to one of them, and I…” She paused to swallow horror at the memory. “I couldn’t do it. I hated the way women in Odessa had to keep their eyes down and their mouths shut. I was always in trouble. Their theology was so rigid I thought they’d snap in half if they had any fun. I believe in God,” she hurried to clarify, “but I don’t think He made women to be only child-bearers and housekeepers. Why did He give us minds if we we’re only a half-step above the cows?”

His arms closed tighter around Ellie. He muttered something in Lakota and then cleared his throat. “Hundreds of years ago the Europeans thought that the Lakota treated their women like beasts of burden, but they didn’t understand that we revere women. We know that women have their own power that no man can match.”

Ellie had seen for herself how Taye’s Pack treated the women who lived with them. They were respectful, playful, and utterly protective. Taye had done his best to convince Neal to not move to Moore’s Mill. When Neal refused to listen, Taye had tried to convince him to leave Ellie behind, at least until the baby was born. She had feared Taye would lock her up in his den and refuse to let Neal take her away. She peeped up at Quill, wondering if he was as stubborn as Taye.

“Anyway, I ran away from Odessa before they could force me to marry. I wanted to go to Taye because I’d always been fascinated by the thought of a cousin who could turn into a wolf. I thought he’d protect me from Elder Pringle, but I didn’t know where he was. I went to Kearney to find my mother’s family. It wasn’t a long walk, but I’d never been so far from Odessa.”

Quill’s voice was a growl. “You ran away? You walked to Kearney without any protection? Do you know what could have happened to you?”

“Of course I do. Now. I was young enough then to think that nothing could possibly go wrong. Luckily it didn’t. Just outside Kearney I was found by Dane Overdahl and his brother, Neal, and they brought me to my grandfather in Kearney. My mother’s father. You knew him. He was the historian and librarian in Kearney for decades.”

“Yes, I knew Mr. Gray. So that’s how you met your husband.” Quill’s voice was utterly devoid of any emotion. The sun was just about to rise, and it was light enough for her to see his carefully blank face.

“Yes. I think I fell in love with him right then, and he said he loved me right away too, but Grandpa Gray didn’t allow us to marry until I was eighteen. Does it bother you when I talk about Neal?”

Quill dipped his head, and she felt his lips brush her forehead. “Maybe a tiny bit, but I’m happy you had someone to love you.”

Ellie squashed a pang of regret for hurting him. “I loved Neal. I don’t know you very well yet, but I’m sure I’ll develop strong feelings for you too, in time. I like you already.” Did her tone sound just a little too forced? She cleared her throat. “When Neal decided to move us down here, I was scared. I was five months along with Connor, and we didn’t know anyone. I was alone. Mrs. Moore and her sister were my midwives. It was scary, but wonderful, to have a child. Scary because we had no family nearby. No one to take care of me and Connor if something happened to Neal. That’s what I was talking about when we started this conversation. I think, with you, I’ll be part of a family again.”

“I will always protect you.” The sun had peeked over the horizon and shot rosy golden rays to gleam in Quill’s tawny curls. He ducked his head to look deeply into her eyes. “The entire Clan is your family now, and they will protect you and Connor and Tommy.”

His words made her dream come true. Greatly daring, she put a hand on the back of his neck to pull him down to her lips. His eyes widened. She felt his heart thundering against her breast. She closed her eyes and kissed him. She had meant to give him a quick peck of gratitude, but when he sighed against her lips, she couldn’t help but open her mouth to catch his breath. She forgot her teeth needed brushing and her hair was a tangled mess and her clothes were crumpled and dew damp. He smelled so good, and his body was so warm against her she forgot everything but the taste of his mouth when she slid her tongue over his.

“I need to pee-pee!” said Connor insistently, only a foot from her ear.

Ellie tore her mouth from Quill’s and jerked her head around to see Connor standing next to her, holding the front of his pants with one hand while he patted her shoulder with the other. The tempo of the patting told her Connor’s need was urgent. The early morning sunlight revealed Sara and Mel standing in front of the tent, watching her with great interest, and several of the men were beyond them, not hiding their curiosity.

Embarrassment rushed blood to her face as she scrambled off Quill’s lap. “Connor needs your help,” she told him, avoiding his eyes as she propelled Connor toward him. Quill was Connor’s father now. She drew a deep breath to steel herself. “Your son needs your help.”

It left her heart feeling hollow to say it. The delighted smile that split Quill’s face told her she’d done the right thing. She stopped, staring at him openly. She’d never seen him look so happy. He had smiled before, but never this big grin of pride.

“Come on, Connor.” Quill seemed to be trying to control his enthusiasm so Connor wouldn’t be scared, but Connor didn’t seem to be at all frightened. He took Quill’s hand and trotted off at his side to find a semi-private spot to do his business. Tommy stumbled, half-asleep, after them.

Ellie turned away from her men-folk with a smile of her own. She had a new family now. Her son had a new brother and a new father. Ellie had a new husband, who smelled divine and whose mouth was pure heaven.

* * * *

Quill gave the order to stop for lunch a little before noon that day. He’d overheard Mel talking to Snake and knew their plans were changing. He went to Ellie and lifted Connor down then balanced her when she slid out of the saddle. It was an effort, but he kept from staring at her lips. The memory of this morning’s kiss stayed in the front of his mind, threatening to interfere with his concentration. He was no alpha, but he was the leader of this group. Their safety was his responsibility, and even something as wonderful as a kiss from his mate couldn’t be allowed to distract him. She seemed to be having trouble looking at him at all. Her small, triangular face was tanned to creamy perfection by the sun, but the pink in her cheeks wasn’t from sunburn.

As she straightened away from him with a smile she directed at his general vicinity, his gaze dropped to her bosom. For the five and a half lonely years in Omaha, he had remembered her as a tiny wood fairy with her big brown eyes and long brown hair and slender build. The changes in her body were slight. She was still barely five feet tall, but she had gained a few pounds. Her breasts were large compared to her waist, and Quill was gripped by an urgent need to see them again. The glimpse in Moore’s kitchen had been quick, but the image of his mate’s bare body was seared into his brain. He clamped down on his libido, shifted Connor to his other arm, fastened a hand on Tommy’s skinny shoulder, and took the boys to answer nature’s call.

It seemed Tommy had too much energy to sit quietly to eat. After emptying his bladder, he took off running around in circles while Ellie lifted Connor wearily. This trip had been hard on his mate. In three or four days they would be back at the den. She could sleep in a bed and relax there.

Bed. How would she look, lying in tangled sheets while he—no. Quill tore his thoughts from that. In Omaha he’d seen many women barely dressed. None of them had aroused him the way the mere thought of Ellie did.