Elly In Bloom (47 page)

“Thank you.” Elly set them on the table and reminded herself to be thankful for the sweet gesture. Still, there was no way they would make it into a vase.

Isaac wrapped his arms around her waist and spun her around so that his face lightly brushed hers. “I missed you” his whispered. “I couldn’t stand the idea of you being mad at me.” He let his lips travel slowly over hers, teasing every inch. Elly knew she should resist, but what was just one more kiss? Or two?

After a couple of minutes she pushed him back, laughing nervously. “Enough! I made all this food and we’re going to eat it.” She paused. “I think we should eat on the patio upstairs. We can bring blankets.” Elly instantly regretted her words. Blankets implied closeness, which to Isaac always implied intimacy. She was giving him the wrong idea, which was obvious by the way he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Blankets huh? Definitely.”

Elly sighed. “Grab your food.”

Isaac reached for her hand, his voice edged with tension. “This is incredible. You are the most amazing woman, and I’m so sorry for the way I’ve acted the last two days. I’ve been an immature bastard who doesn’t deserve you.”

Elly simply nodded as she piled her plate with lasagna. Her face was flushing and her throat was tightening. Elly had never been one to break up with someone. In high school and college, she had always been the dumped, rather than the dumpee, and she was finding it much harder on this end. She had been unprepared for this rush of guilt, this tidal wave of pitying love that she felt bursting through her. She watched him, piling his plate high with food, the light reflecting off the chocolate shades in his hair, his long lashes blinking slowly. It took every ounce of restraint to not let herself fall into his arms, to let him love her and eventually leave her.

Isaac walked past her, on his way out to the patio, and slapped her behind playfully. “You’re the best, babe.” Elly hung her head. This was going to be harder than she thought.

The night was moist, the threat of frost hanging in the air. Isaac quickly built a fire in Elly’s small fire pit – something she never bothered to do. The small flames crackled to life and gave out just enough heat that the patio was perfect.

Isaac patted the couch next to him as he shoveled lasagna into his mouth. “You don’t want to sit by me? I won’t bite …much.” He chuckled at his own joke.

Elly declined and sat across from him. Her plate sat still on her lap. She cleared her throat. “Isaac, we…we have to talk.” She choked on the last word and took a huge gulp of water. So far, disaster, she thought.

“Mmm hmm.” Isaac put a huge bite of lasagna into his mouth. “I know!” he agreed.

Elly smiled slightly, “You do?”

“Of course, there is so much to discuss.”

Elly felt a rush of relief. “I couldn’t agree more.”

He wiped his mouth hastily with his napkin. “So, for the Everest Oppressed set on this coming Saturday, I was thinking we could start with ‘Perplexed Apathy’ and then segue into ‘Cherry Revolution’ and maybe close the show with our big number: ‘Curves of a Woman.’”

Elly shut her eyes. If she never had to hear the song about her ample bosom again, it would be too soon.

“That song is our big hit, you know.” He leaned over and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “You are the perfect muse. I think that Gene butchered the bridge though, last time, and I was thinking if we added a fourth….”

With that, the fog in Elly’s brain lifted, and she steeled her resolve.
Best to just get it over with
, she thought.

“Isaac – stop. Just stop talking.”

Isaac looked up from his plate with shock, a bite of Greek salad falling off his fork onto the ground.

“I don’t think that this is going to work out between us.”

His face displayed disbelief. “What?”

“I’m so, so sorry, but I just can’t be with you. And I know you won’t understand but I need you to believe that…”

“Wait, WHAT? You’re…breaking UP with me?” Isaac’s face fell apart. “But…how can you? Elly, I love you.” His lip quivered. “Elly…please don’t do this.”

Elly’s felt a piece of her heart chip off. She stood up and snuggled beside him, tucking her legs under his. She set his plate on the ground and she cradled his face in her hands. He wouldn’t look at her.

“Look at me,” she said. He wouldn’t. “Isaac. Look at me.”

His deep brown eyes gazed reluctantly into hers, red and watery.

“I learned something about myself yesterday, something that I should have always known. We each have flaws, each of us, and it’s a rare moment that we can see them clearly. Yesterday I saw our relationship…but through my ex-husband. Isaac, it was like looking into a mirror. Does that make sense?”

He shook his head. “I don’t understand. Are you leaving me for him?”

Elly bit her lip. She was failing miserably at this.
Elly Jordan, world’s worst breakup artist,
she thought inwardly.

“I have a type. Do you know what it is? Men like you. Beautiful men - artists, painters…musicians. Why do you think I love my job so much? Because I love beautiful things. It’s the reason I love flowers, it’s the reason that I fell so hard for you…and for Aaron. My ex-husband. I’ve told you a little about him.”

Isaac made a face. “Don’t compare me to him, that’s not fair.”

Elly ran her fingers down his cheek. “It’s not fair, I know. And you aren’t exactly like him…not yet.” She hesitated, deciding not to tell him that when she had looked at Aaron yesterday, she had seen that not only were they alike, but the same person. The same endlessly self-centered, immature person. She cleared her throat.

“However, I fear someday you will be. You are very much alike. I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. You are both seekers, searching for your next big thing, your break-through.” She hesitated. “Your muse. And I cannot be that woman. I am at a very different stage of my life than you. I want a husband, children…a family. I want to go to church. You should know that I wouldn’t be good for you, not in the long run. I imagine down the road you would probably cheat on me, not because you’re a horrible person, but because I’m sure that’s where your future is heading. You need to be free, Isaac, and the only thing you love right now should be your music. I don’t want to hold you back from your deepest need, and I don’t want you to hold me back from the things I want.”

Isaac sniffed, holding back tears. “So, you regret being with me? Since I’m just like your ex-husband, apparently?”

Elly kissed his cheek. “On the contrary, Isaac, you were maybe the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Isaac leaned back on the couch. “I don’t understand what you are talking about, not at all. I think maybe you have Tourette’s and this is all one crazy long episode.”

Elly laughed and leaned her face against his shoulder. “I adore you, do you know that?”

Isaac looked away. “Yeah, it sounds like that.”

Elly sighed. “This might be hard to understand, but you SAVED me. Before you came to my door that night, every single day was nothing more than a blank slate, one thing after another, the world moving without me in it. I couldn’t shake Aaron, not from any part of me. I forced myself not to think about him, and in the process I tuned out every feeling and emotion I had. Until there was you.” She glanced over at him and took his hand. “You, and your beautiful face. It awakened something inside me. For the first time, I felt my heart open again. I took in all the joy of you, all while sensing that something wasn’t quite right.”

Isaac shuffled angrily and Elly continued. “It was because I was reliving Aaron, through you. I was healing myself of him, through loving you. Being with you was like coming home…to him. I slipped into that skin easily, because you are so very alike. Without you, I would still be in that same place, living in endless self-pity.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Isaac. You made me feel beautiful. You made me feel loved and passionate for the first time in two years. You gave me the tools to be myself. Don’t you understand? Being with you let me bloom into the person I needed to be. You have been a blessing to me.”

Isaac’s lips curled into a small smile. “Really?”

“Really. I owe it all to you. There is no one else in this world who could have done the things for me that you have done. You changed me forever, by just loving me, in your own way.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I know that it’s not fair. I wasn’t consciously aware of any of this. I should have known better, but there was no stopping the train that was Isaac. I mean, have you looked at yourself?”

He smiled widely. “I am pretty good-looking.”

“You are.”

“But so are you, Elly. You never see yourself clearly. I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with not being with you. I…I love you Elly.”

“No, you don’t.”

Isaac sat back. “What do you mean, I don’t?”

“You love me, but not in the way that two people should love each other. You love me because of what I give you, and because of the passion you have for me. I make you laugh and your face makes my knees go weak, but that does not a lifetime make.”

“But we can work on that…”

Elly put her fingers over his mouth. He kissed them softly, making her lose concentration. “Don’t do it – no, stop that.” She pulled away. “We can’t work on it. I can’t be with someone like Aaron again. I can’t force my past with him onto a future with you. Not to mention, we are very different people. You must see that.”

He nodded slowly. “Truth: I hate going to garden centers with you”

Elly grinned. “And I hate smoke-filled jazz clubs.”

“I hate Italian food.”

Elly gasped. “Well, I hate Gene.”

“I hate Gene, too.” They laughed.
I hate your band,
thought Elly, although she didn’t say it out loud.

Isaac pulled her toward him. “Can we at least be friends? Or maybe friends with benefits?”

Elly made a face at him.

He leaned over her. “You know, I’ll still be your neighbor. Still close enough for late night calls…”

Elly pushed against his chest. “Stop using your sexy super powers. The last time you tried that you set your pants on fire.”

“Oh, I forgot about that,” Isaac said sheepishly.

Elly smiled. “See, it’s not meant to be.”

Isaac’s face turned from playful teasing into a pained sadness. “But I really I thought that it was.”

Elly’s heart shrunk. She was killing him. Gently, she leaned against his warm chest. “I am so thankful for you Isaac. You will always have a very special place in my heart, as the man who brought me back to life. I hope that someday it can be enough.”

He ran his hands absent-mindedly through her hair. “It never will be.” There was silence. “I guess I better go then, if this is the end of things.”

Elly held his hand. “No, please stay awhile. I like you near me.”

They watched the flames flicker slowly out, the last plume of fire licking up the side of a small log. Isaac stared at her, his chocolate brown irises boring into the side of her face, while Elly kept her eyes glued to the fire. He pulled the blanket off himself, stretching his long body in the moonlight, and wrapped it around her shoulders, tucking it gently underneath her. His coarse musician’s fingers lingered on her chin as he tipped her lips up to his for one last kiss.

The night howled around them, as Elly said goodbye to the very last piece of Aaron. Isaac shut the door softly behind him, and Elly bent her head and cried. She headed inside, her throat dry from crying and began clearing the kitchen table. The lasagna was still warm. She stared at.
Would it be wrong, with all that had happened tonight, to actually eat?
Isaac’s stunned face appeared in her mind, the jilted look in his eyes, the agony that had played on his face while the fire died in front of them. He had been devastated and completely taken off-guard. Elly had truly hurt him, and it broke her heart, but the future was opening in front of her, and he wasn’t a part of it. It wasn’t fair to stay with him a minute longer. She looked back at the lasagna, muttered, “Eh,” and grabbed a fork.

Epilogue

Before anyone could notice, the sky turned grey and opened up her folds, letting in the snow, and with it, the Christmas season. It was Christmas Eve, and Elly was in charge of the turkey. Despite her inherited culinary abilities, how one cooked a turkey was somehow beyond her, so she was employing the help of the local news anchor.

“You will shove your hand into the cavity of the turkey and pull out the neck and gizzards.”

Elly stopped dead in front of the television. “I’m sorry?”

The woman proceeded to shove her hand up the bird’s back and pull out its insides. Elly gagged. She picked up the turkey and shook it violently over the trash can, random innards falling out. It slipped in her hands and tumbled into the trash can.

“ARRGGGHHH!!” she screamed. She grabbed it quickly out of the can and rinsed it in the sink. She turned to Cadbury. “Nobody saw that, right? Okay. good.” Cadbury yawned and licked his chops, waiting for a morsel to fall to the floor.

Elly turned her attention back to the news anchor with the bouffant hairdo. “Now, turn the turkey over and truss it with twine.”