Emako Blue (11 page)

It had started to rain and people rushed to their cars. I looked around for Eddie. He was walking down the hill and I ran after him.

“Eddie?” I said, catching him.

“What?”

“Where you goin’?”

“Home,” he replied.

“I’ll give you a ride. C’mon.”

“It’s a long drive.”

“Ain’t nuthin’.”

We drove out the gates of the cemetery onto the slick streets. My shirt was wet and I shivered.

“I still can’t believe this,” I said. “I keep thinking it’s all a dream.”

“Me too,” Eddie replied.

“When I woke up this morning, I thought the dream was over and everything was gonna be the way it was. You know, like I’m gonna call her and she’s gonna pick up the phone and say, ‘Hey.’ ”

“I know.”

“And I keep askin’ myself why. I mean, why her? She never hurt anyone.”

“I don’t know, dude.” He paused. “Make a left at the corner.”

I turned left and kept talking. “I mean, I thought we were gonna get serious . . . real serious.”

Eddie kept quiet, like a head doctor. Finally Eddie spoke. “If her brother hadn’t got out, she’d still be alive.”

“Yeah, that mutha. It’s like he brought death to her door.”

“You could get on the freeway up here at the on-ramp. It’s quicker.”

“I’ll take the streets.” The truth was, I needed to talk.

“She was real nice,” Eddie said.

The windshield wipers went back and forth. “She was . . .”—I hesitated for a moment—“I hate to admit it, but at first I was just runnin’ my game, treatin’ her like she was just another honey, you know, tryin’ to be a player, and then all of a sudden I started lovin’ her. Now it feels like someone took a bat to my heart and beat the hell out of it.”

“Yeah . . . she was too sweet,” Eddie said.

“You goin’ to school tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I have a test.”

We drove the rest of the way to Eddie’s house in silence. I pulled up in front of his door and he got out.

“Later, dawg,” I said.

“Yeah, later,” Eddie replied.

I drove off and looked in the rearview mirror. Eddie was standing in the rain, getting drenched.

I put in the Aaliyah CD she liked, and headed back to the cemetery. I wanted to be alone with her one more time.

When I got there, everyone was gone and they had already filled up the grave with dirt.

I sat down on the wet grass, crossed my legs, and cried.

I stood in the rain, watching Jamal turn the corner. Then I went around to the side of the house. As usual, the door was unlocked.

“Hey, Eddie,” my sister said from her room as I passed by.

“You know you should keep the door locked,” I said.

Suddenly, I heard a loud noise and jumped. “What was that?” I said.

“I dropped the remote control,” Hortensia replied.

“Oh.” Now, every time I heard a loud noise, I got nervous.

As I changed into dry clothes, I wondered if I would make it. If they got Emako, then maybe they would get me too. They could keep my brother, Tomas, incarcerated forever as far as I was concerned. I didn’t want him bringing the angel of death to our door. I knew now that innocence didn’t mean anything.

Hortensia knocked on my door.

“It’s open,” I said.

She came into my room. “Were there a lot of people there?” she asked.

“The church was full,” I said.

“Did you go to the cemetery?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry,” she said.

“About what?”

“About your friend.”

I looked at my pretty baby sister and wondered what was going to happen to her when I was gone.

I was going to make my mother and father promise not to ever let Tomas come back and call this home.

I was going to make my mother swear before Jesus.

I pulled out my wallet and looked at the paper with Monterey’s number and the smiley face. Love.

Arizona isn’t that far away, I thought.

The crowd began to scatter.

I went over to where Verna was standing and she took my hand in hers. “She was my sweet girl. Since she was little, she was just a little sweet thing. Always bringing me something, sometimes just a little flower she’d picked from someone’s yard. She’d hand it to me after I’d dragged in from work and it made me smile. It ain’t right that she died that way.”

“I’m sorry, Verna,” I said.

“Y ’all comin’ to the house?” she asked. “We gotta mountain of food.”

I hesitated. “I can’t.” I remembered the sound of the bullets. “I can’t,” I repeated.

“I know,” was all she said.

She let go of my hand and I went back to my mama and daddy. The rain was falling harder and my clothes were getting wet.

By the time we got in the car, the wind had started to blow and it felt like God was mad. Lightning punched through the clouds.

“You need to get out of those wet things soon as we get into the house,” Mama said. “You still have that blanket in the truck, Roman?”

“Yes.”

Mama got out of the car, and pulled the plaid flannel blanket out of the trunk, the one they always took with them to baseball games in case it got cold. She opened the backseat door and put it around my shoulders.

“I can do it myself! I’m not a baby anymore!” I pushed away my mother’s hands. “Stop treating me like I’m a baby!”

Mama was silent.

Then Daddy turned around. “She’s right. She’s not a child anymore, DeeDee.”

“Yeah,” I replied.

“But, Monterey, one thing,” Daddy added.

“What?”

“Put your seat belt on.”

I fastened my seat belt as Daddy drove through the cemetery toward the gates. I looked at row after row of graves and thought I didn’t want Emako to be gone. I wanted her to come back and finish growing up with me and I wanted to hear her say, “Hey, Monterey,” again and I wanted her to diss me and smile and I wanted her to be rich and famous and I wanted to tell her that she had the most beautiful awesome voice I’d ever heard. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

My friend, Emako Blue, was supposed to be a star.