Ember (25 page)

He didn't.

“How long have you been sitting there?” I
asked, attempting to catch my breath.

His gaze stayed steady, like always -like
every blasted time
I saw him.

“Long enough to pass Holdan on the way
out.”

I rolled my eyes excessively. The adrenaline
from the scare must have been overpowering my better judgment, but
it didn't matter much now either way.

He looked shocked. “What was that for?”

I eyed him. “What was that for?” I mimicked,
then shook my head. “I just don't have the patience to deal with
your attitude right now, Jaden.”

His eyes widened.

There, not steady any more, are they?

“Meaning what?” he asked, his body already
leaving its casual, relaxed, posture.

“
Meaning,
I just spent the entire
morning trying to get Holdan to speak to me again because of how
you
acted yesterday, and I really don‘t need you giving me a
hard time for it.”

God, when I get in my right mind, I'm gonna
kill myself for this.

He cocked his head haughtily, some trace of a
smirk returning to his face. “Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you two
had gotten so close.”

I straightened up scoffing. His smile
vanished. “Don't you dare. This has nothing to do with that and you
know it.”

He eyed me incredulously. “Oh really? Then
mind informing me what it
is
about?”

I took a heavy breath, if I spoke loud enough
he might not hear the shuddering. “I already told you, it's about
how
you
acted.”
Nope, shuddering still came
through.

We were both staring hard at each other now.
I couldn't believe how quickly we had gotten here, evidently
neither could he. He shook his head dismally. “You're insane.
Yesterday you're all sweet and apologetic, and today I get
this?”

My face went hot. “Excuse me for at least
trying
to be nice! In the future I'll just follow your
example and be rude
everyday!
”

He stood up. “I'm not rude! And I don't have
to take this trash.”

I threw my hands down on the table and stood
up as well. “Neither do I. I live here too now, so you can't just
say whatever you want to me.”

He waved a hand. “No problem. I'll just stop
talking to you.”

I nodded quickly. “Good plan, that'll work
out great when you have to teach me to use magic.”

He crossed his arms and scoffed, looking very
much like a stubborn three-year-old. “Like I'm going to teach
you.”

My body faltered. That one stung. I doubt he
knew how much, but it didn't matter now.

My body stilled. “Fine,” I said calmly. “I’ll
just get Holdan to show me.”

His return expression was hard and cold. I
doubted I even touched a nerve. It only made me angrier.

Then, in perfect unison, we both pushed off
from the table. I started walking towards the doorway. To my
surprise, and great annoyance, he was next to me in seconds. My
brow furrowed when I remembered it was the only exit.

“Couldn't you have waited a few seconds for
me to go?” I asked exasperatedly.

“Why should I have to wait? I've been here
longer.”

I rolled my eyes. “Why doesn't that attitude
surprise me.”

We hit the doorway at the same time. I
managed to slip in ahead of him, but he knew where he was going
better and took off immediately towards the right . . . the way
I
needed to go, in fact the only way I knew to lead
anywhere. Still, I marched off just as purposefully to the left.
And, without a single glance back, turned into the small
passage.

~ ~ ~

AFTER A FEW unfamiliar corridors the anger
was still roiling inside of me. At this point about fifty percent
of it was directed at Jaden, the other at myself. I knew I should
appreciate it while I could, because soon it would be about
ninety/ten with me on the faulty side.

I turned down another hall. Really none of it
was my fault, as soon as I'd seen him I'd warned him not to push me
today. My face flushed freshly hot with a mix of anger and
embarrassment. I was squeezing my hand into a tight fist when I
realized someone was coming down the hall in the opposite
direction. I glanced over once, then cut my eyes downward. Whoever
it was had their head buried in a book, walking very slowly.
Hopefully too preoccupied to notice me.

Slowing down just enough so he wouldn't be
alerted, I spared one more glance as I was about to pass him. This
one stopped me.

“Ikovos?” I mumbled.

He looked up, stopping instantly. It was
definitely him. The clothes were the same, the hair was the same,
the face was the same . . . but the
glasses?

He smiled. “Oh, hi, Evelyn.”

I cleared my throat. My responding hi came
out fumbled.

With open book still resting in one hand his
eyebrows scrunched. “What are you doing here?”

As I tried to blink my mind clear of the
bespectacled boy so that I could answer his question, the reason I
was
‘back here’
came pouring into my head. My jaw tightened.
I couldn't even force a smile as I answered. “Just looking around,”
I said.

He smiled. “Well, were you lost? . . .
Because you look a little flustered.”

I didn't have to feel how hot my face was at
this point. I shook my head strictly. “Oh, no. That's from
something else.”

He cocked his head waiting and I was
instantly angry at myself for the small allowance.

“Fever,” I explained.

He looked perplexed, but then his eyes
widened. “Oh, that's why you never came to dinner then?”

I suddenly remembered standing him up last
night, but, furious or not, I couldn't bring myself to lie about
it. “No. . . .” I made an innocent face. “I sort of fell
asleep.”

“Oh.” He considered it. “Well, that's
probably good if you're feeling sick.”

With undo ferocity I nodded in agreement.
“So, what are you doing?” I asked.

He closed the book then and gestured down the
hall. “Actually I was about to go pack some food and try to run
into you for lunch.”

“Pack?” I questioned.

“Yeah, that's why I wanted to see you. I'm on
guard duty tonight so I'm gonna be gone till tomorrow.”

On a normal day, I could smile, wish him a
good time, then mope inwardly once he left. But I wasn't feeling
normal today. I was feeling like I didn't want to stay in the same
building as meanie all night.

“Oh, cool, I'll go with you then.”

He laughed once then looked back to see my
still straight face. “Wait, you're serious?” I tried to hold the
face. “Wow. When you're not being ridiculously shy, you're kind of
presumptuous.”

I allowed a wince, but my resolve to go with
him was clouding out all fears of inconveniencing and rejection
that I would normally be feeling.

He grinned in a way that, if I
did
have any buried fears, they dissipated. “Well, of course I'd love
you to come. But . . . I'm not sure what the Master's would say. .
. .”

“Oh . . . , I replied, straightening
slightly. Somehow the mention, mixed with the glasses . . . it just
made him look different, older? Not that that should matter. . .
.

I shook my head clear, visibly, unlike my
usual imperceptible nod. At this point Ikovos must have thought I'd
lost it. The look on his face matched this assumption.

“We can ask them though,” he clarified,
eyeing me worriedly.

I smiled now, trying to relieve his concern.
“That would be great.”

He nodded repeatedly, like I needed
reassuring.

“Okay, well, let's go grab some food first,
then we can go find them.”

He gestured to move ahead, but my body froze.
I did
not
want to go back that way,
any
way that
meant going closer to Jaden.

“Actually I just finished eating. Why don't I
go talk to Cornelius while you get lunch?”

He considered this, and for a moment I
thought he was going to adjust his glasses, he hadn't thus far, but
his hand went on further to scratch the back of his head. “I guess
that works,” he said. “Are you sure though? The Masters can be a
little scary when discussing certain topics.”

I gulped at the prospect of Thoran, but
Cornelius would be okay.

I nodded and he raised an eyebrow. “Well,
you're braver than me,” he said. I gave him a thanks-a-lot face and
his grin grew as he threw an arm down the hall. “I just saw him a
minute ago. Just go right into the next corridor, then left, and it
should be on the fourth door on your right.”

I looked off. “Right, left, right.”

He nodded.

“Okay, then. . . .” I was unsure at this
stage how to do the goodbye thing. Hug? Handshake? The numerous
options had me growing in insecurity as the seconds of staring at
each other ticked by. Eventually I just walked off, cursing myself
when I had to turn back. “Wait, Ikovos?”

He was standing in the same spot. “Yes?”

“Where should I meet you? After I'm
done.”

He smiled and shook his head. “Just head back
to the study. We'll leave from there.”

I nodded, a little confused by the manner of
his reaction. “Okay. Bye.” I said, then walked off quickly. After
turning right into the next corridor, I paused.

The morning, thus far, had been much too full
of a high level and wide variety of emotions. Excitement, rage,
shock . . . too many to name. I rubbed a hand over my face.
Is
it always going to be like this?

Not tonight
, I thought. Tonight would,
or, rather, if I was lucky,
could,
be a small break. Just me
and Ikovos. I frowned. I don't know if that would be much of a
break from the emotional stuff, but at least the variety would be
lessened.

With fresh determination to spend the evening
out. I marched down the hall, turned left, then counted, one, two,
three, fou—
was it four or five?
I took a brave breath and
peaked around the corner into the fourth room.

At first I was happy to see Cornelius sitting
inside. But then I saw the other people, and then they all saw me .
. . then I wasn't so happy anymore.

Clearing my throat I straightened into the
doorway with a smile and a wave. “Hi,” I said.

They all stared back. Cornelius in sweet
surprise. Sophie with soft patience. And Thoran . . . Thoran with a
dark, incredulous, questioning, glare.

All this vanished into smiles in a matter of
seconds, with Cornelius beginning the chain. “Oh. Hello, my
dear.”

I smiled again . . . and waved again . . .
then I was at a loss.
Why did I come here again?

Thoran interrupted the question. “Well, don't
by timid, girl. Come in.”

Sophie slapped his leg and Cornelius eyed
him, but I was quicker than them both, swiftly obeying his command
to enter. Past the small circle of chairs and couches they were
sitting in, the room opened up into a cozy, well-decorated,
den-like area. A fireplace blazed in the far wall, green of course.
There was one average-sized window, and I think in the whole lodge
I hadn't seen as many adornments as the number that occupied this
room: paintings, oil lamps, tapestries, statues.

Some quiet muttering brought me back to the
three adults. Thoran was eyeing the other two placidly. Then he
looked to me calmly.

“How was your morning?” Cornelius interrupted
with a smile.

I tried to mirror him. “Good . . . and you?
Or, you guys?”

Sophie answered first. “Good.”

Thoran nodded.

Cornelius echoed the first reply.

Before the awkward silence could overtake the
room, Sophie raised a hand. “Oh, I have to tell you. . . .” I
raised my eyebrows and smiled, trying to look attentive as
possible. “I'm not going to be leaving tonight after all, so I
don't need you to set out the food.”

I nodded. “Oh. Okay.” Until then I had
forgotten about helping out tonight, it was good she said something
first, because I would have felt horrible if I'd asked to leave
without mentioning that.

Oh right, leaving. That's why I'm here.

With what seemed like unnaturally acute
timing, Thoran looked at me and asked, “So is there something we
can help you with?” His voice was softer now, lighter. In fact I
noticed that his entire appearance seemed more polished than it had
since I'd met him. His hair was combed, his clothes matching. Hands
clean, even the scruff covering his face appeared trimmed.

I took a breath before answering. “Actually I
wanted to . . . well, I was really just going to ask Cornelius, but
. . . ,” my gaze wandered a bit, “Ikovos was going to the gate
tonight and I thought, I thought it would be a good chance for me
to see what it's like so that I could do it in the future, if you
needed. So, I wanted to see if I could—” I looked back at him, and
his stare, in fact the entire situation, reminded me of someone
else “—
do that.
” My finish was unnecessarily emphasized.
They didn't seem to notice though, even as my jaw clenched into
determination.

Thoran looked over at Cornelius. When my eyes
fell on Sophie she smiled sweetly, but gave no response. Obviously
it was not her decision.

My fingers twisted between each other as I
waited.

Finally Thoran turned back, smiling warmly.
“That sounds like a fine plan.”

My breath released and I took a step towards
the door. He stopped me.

“Just make sure to keep what we talked about
in mind, alright?”

Inwardly my eyes went wide, but I think
outwardly I kept it together. “Yes, of course.
Definitely.
”

He smirked then, as did Cornelius and
Sophie.

“Well,” I said, stepping back, “I'll let you
guys get back to it.” They all nodded as I inched further. “Thanks
again, Thor, err . . . Master Thoran.” With that I backed as
quickly as I could out the room.