Ember (9 page)

“Very well,” Ananchel agreed, surprising and worrying him at the same time. “I will be in touch when you’ve had a chance to think about our invitation.”

Invitation. No
. He couldn’t make the words come out, and he opened his eyes a little, only to feel them instantly roll back in his head and close. His hands found Candra’s hips again, as if he needed to confirm she was real and that she was really putting herself between him and Ananchel. His thumb brushed over her hipbone where her soft skin met the band of her jeans. He forced his eyes open to see Ananchel scrutinizing him.

“I see.” She smirked wickedly.

He felt Candra’s body brace under his hands, and a warm jolt shot over his skin through his fingertips.

“This is lovely, Sebastian…quite unexpected.” The sleek, red-tipped feathers of Ananchel’s wings reflected the lights over the dance floor back into his eyes. He blinked rapidly in an attempt to focus.

Her wings quivered and folded behind her. Since humans couldn’t see an angel’s wings, it was only an invisible barrier that kept them from getting nearer than a mere brush away once they were exposed. Some of the humans around her instantly moved nearer.

“Just go,” Candra demanded, her voice rising with frustration. “Before I change my mind and make you.”

“Make me?” Ananchel parroted with a strange, disturbed expression on her face.

What in the Arch’s name does she think she’s doing?
Sebastian thought. He couldn’t make himself react or do anything at all. Simply standing was draining him of all his energy.

“And tell whoever sent you that Sebastian is off limits to you and everyone else from now on. Do you understand, or should I write it down for you?”

Ananchel shrugged and took a step nearer to them. “This is a strange twist—or a little twisted…I’m not sure.” She tilted her head to the side narrowing her eyes. “I wonder what Payne would make of it?”

Sebastian made to step forward, incensed by the mention of Payne’s name from Ananchel’s lips, but was halted by Candra, who gently laid her hand over his, bringing him back to his senses.

“Go!” she repeated insistently to Ananchel.

With one last glance, Ananchel turned from them, her folded wings fading in a rippling light along her back before they disappeared.

Sebastian followed her with his gaze until she reached the door, where he spotted Lofi. Ananchel stopped for some exchange he couldn’t hear, and if he was honest with himself—which he rarely was these days—he didn’t care about. He let out a deep, grievous sigh as the full extent of his humiliation began to dawn on him.

Candra was still in front of him, close enough that he knew there was no way she could fail to notice. He reached a new level of contempt for himself, but for some reason he still hadn’t let her go. It was as if the jolt of electricity he felt had glued them together. No amount of reasoning with himself that this was wrong, that it was verging on sick to take advantage of her innocence, that he was worse than the lowest form of life, could make him pull away.

The music slowed. Ananchel was gone, and Lofi was making her way toward them. She knew: the look of pity in her eyes told him as much. Yet he didn’t break his fingers away from where they’d settled on Candra’s body.

Eventually she did it herself. Her hands, that had so lightly covered his, slipped under his fingers and pulled them away enough that she could move her body out of his grasp.

Sebastian closed his eyes again, not wanting to see the disgust he was sure would be evident in Candra’s expression. He’d made such a mess of things since he’d found Brie, and he’d done nothing but make wrong decisions since. He finally managed to flinch his hands away from hers. His scowl was uncomfortable, and the back of his neck ached from the rigidity of his shoulders. At least the effects of Ananchel’s encounter were beginning to wane. The once enjoyable physical reaction she could elicit from his body now made him sick to his stomach, although she still thought of it as a game. She would chase; he would give in.

“Move,” Sebastian demanded out loud to his shaky legs through gritted teeth. “Move, damn you.”

He winced when the warmth of two soft hands came up to wrap around the back of his neck, and he was overcome by the sweet fragrance of green apples. She wasn’t moving away. Candra had turned around to him, and unbelievably she was holding him. The slim fingers of one of her hands tugged at his neck, bringing his head nearer, and not really having the energy or the will to refuse her, he complied. Beyond the shock of her actions, he simply didn’t want to refuse her.

Her heated body trembled against Sebastian, and her breath grazed his ear as she spoke.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, barely audible above the music.

Why would she think she needed to be sorry for anything? She didn’t start the war. She hadn’t killed anyone. None of this was her fault. The sound he made was alien to him, a long drawn out groan that started somewhere deep inside him.

But it only made Candra pull herself closer to him until she was holding him so tightly she must have been using every ounce of her strength.

Sebastian did something he considered utterly unforgivable. Of all the things he had done in his entire existence, this was surely the worst. He buried his face in Candra’s hair, leaning into the crook of her neck and wound his arms around her, crushing her to him with such force that she gasped.

Chapter Six

Candra let him hold her, supporting most of his body weight and hugging him back tightly, trying not to think about the evidence of his excitement and the tension in the muscles of his neck. She remembered reading somewhere that the best thing to do if someone was overstimulated or emotionally overwrought was to hold them. It was obvious of course, but there was also some physical reasoning behind it too. It was something to do with nerve endings being compressed.

She was shaking and not feeling nearly as brave as she wanted Ananchel to believe moments ago. The slow rhythm of the music was calming, and she tried her best to match her heartbeat to it. Taking slow, deep breaths was proving difficult, since Sebastian wasn’t leaving much room between them for her lungs to expand. She was sure there would be bruising tomorrow where his fingers pushed into her hips.

She didn’t know what else she could have done. The guy had been coming apart right in front of her eyes, right in front of a roomful of people. He was crumbling and about to fall at Ananchel’s feet. She’d had to do something. Even through her fear when she was ordering Ananchel to leave, she could still feel him shattering behind her, and she was sure now Lofi wasn’t exaggerating; Ananchel didn’t hold back with Sebastian. He’d tried to protect her from Ananchel regardless.

Candra thought she knew what Ananchel was about: it wasn’t the lust or the searing heat she could create inside you or how she could make you feel your body was turning inside out. It was about the surrender to something more powerful than yourself. Ananchel used it to take control. She used it to make anyone who stood against her submissive. It was the cruelest use of power Candra had ever seen inflicted, and it was torture to see it done to Sebastian.

His breathing slowed, and gradually Sebastian began to support more and more of his own weight. As he slowly shifted, she had an almost overwhelming compulsion to touch his wings before they disappeared again. One hand moved as if against her will and eased down his neck and over his upper back until her fingers brushed over soft feathers. They felt so real. She didn’t know what she expected, but apparently it wasn’t that. She guessed she thought they were some kind of apparition, that they were visible at times but not real in a corporal sense. Candra gripped his neck with one hand, feeling when the tendons tightened in his throat as he swallowed, unsure if he was aware of her explorations or not.

The fingers of her other hand tentatively stroked the plush down at the joint where his wing broke through his shirt. It was the softest thing she had ever touched, like liquid satin under her fingertips. She could feel where it met his skin through the small slit, its flesh and down over bone coming from an elongated skeletal structure beneath his shoulder blade. Well, as much as she could tell without full-on groping him. It wasn’t a human structure, but it wasn’t bird either, and she wanted nothing more in that moment than to explore its length. But she didn’t.

Taking advantage of him now would make her no better than Ananchel. She moved her fingers back up and into the soft golden waves of his hair. It wasn’t as soft as the feathers, but clearly its silken strands weren’t a human boy’s. Standing in the room full of teenagers with him, it was bluntly apparent to Candra that Sebastian wasn’t human, and if she could see it, then neither was she.

Finally his arms began to loosen a little, enough that Candra could breathe easier, but he didn’t pull away. He let her go only when his wings eventually faded away.

Candra noticed Lofi standing over by the stairs where she had spoken to Philip and Daniel. She didn’t look out of place at all, apart from an invisible barrier she seemed to have in place around her that repelled any of the guys walking past. They didn’t appear to be bothered by it in the slightest; they simply smiled at her and continued on their way. Candra offered her a strained smile, sure that Lofi understood what she had missed. When she turned her attention back to Sebastian, he refused to make eye contact; instead, his eyes scanned the room, apparently searching for any further threat.

“I need a drink,” he stated flatly without looking at her, before he turned and walked away.

Candra spotted the two holes in the back of his shirt where his wings had protruded and the patches of smooth tanned skin under them as he moved. She hadn’t figured out how they worked yet. Where did they go? Did they hurt? And the practicality of them—could Sebastian and the others fly? For a brief second, another question flashed through her mind. It occurred to her, as bizarre as it might be, she was at least a little like them—so where were her wings?

Candra scurried after him as he bolted through the room, barely sparing a glance in Lofi’s direction and heading straight toward the kitchen. Several buckets filled with ice and bottles of beer were interspersed between the kegs and partygoers scattered around the large room. It was modern and impersonal with a large marble-topped center island and white cabinets, not a family kitchen in the slightest.

Ignoring the small group of guys chugging beer directly from a line attached to a keg, Sebastian pulled a beer out of one of the coolers and tossed the still wet bottle to Lofi, who caught it easily.

“Beer?” he offered Candra, holding up a second bottle acquired from the same cooler.

“Underage,” she replied, pointing to herself despite the fact he still hadn’t looked at her.

The proffered beer remained in this outstretched hand, so she took it. It wasn’t as if it was her first beer; she simply didn’t expect angels to encourage underage drinking. Surely they were supposed to at least be law abiding or something. Sebastian grabbed a bottle for himself, opened it, drained it, and started on another before Candra had twisted the cap off hers.

Lofi watched him warily and took a sip from her beer. Candra followed suit and grimaced as the bitter foamy liquid slid down her throat. It was freezing. Even with the music still blaring and the noise and chatter from the other people in the room, the atmosphere between the three of them was deathly quiet. Candra continued to sip her beer, more for something to do than because she liked it.

“There you are!” Ivy bounced in the doorway, smiling brightly.

“Jeez, where have you been? I’ve been looking all over the place for you,” Candra told her, glad at least that her presence would break the stalemate.

“I met a guy.” She leaned in closer, placing one hand on Lofi’s shoulder as if she was about to reveal a great big secret. “He was so hot.”

“Nice,” Candra mumbled, sneaking a peek at Sebastian who was twisting the lid off his third beer.
Could angels get drunk?

“He’s so much hotter than your guy,” Ivy teased excitedly, totally oblivious to the mood around her and Lofi’s wide-eyed glare at her remark. She didn’t even notice that neither Lofi nor Sebastian had acknowledged her with a greeting.

“I need to go,” Sebastian announced, keeping his eyes on the bottles he was lining up on the counter beside him.

“Good idea,” Lofi agreed. “We’ll all go.”

Candra caught Ivy’s curious expression when Sebastian turned a little, placing his forth bottle, amazingly only half empty, on the counter. Ivy’s smile remained fixed, but her eyes narrowed and darted to Candra and then back to him.

“No,” Sebastian answered directly to Lofi. “I just need…I’ll see you at home later.”

Candra didn’t know what she had done wrong, or how she had misjudged his reaction to her yet again. He was so angry. Not outwardly. It was more of a simmering anger, as if he was smoldering just under the surface and could explode from the tiniest ignition. After Lofi nodded curtly, he left without saying goodbye or the vaguest glance in Candra’s direction.

She immediately flushed.
He held me back
, she thought.
It wasn’t just me.
Why was he being an ass? She tried to tell herself he was embarrassed. She was tempted to wish she had walked away and left him stranding there alone, evidently pitching a tent and about to drop to his knees. Of course then she mentally slapped herself for considering it. Since, after all, he was only there trying to help her.

“What’s his problem?” Ivy asked, helping herself to the beer in Candra’s hand.

“Believe me, you don’t want to know,” Lofi responded, followed by a short sigh.

Candra didn’t miss the way Lofi’s eyes flickered to her with a flash of golden shimmer. It felt like an accusation, and Candra resented it thoroughly. Sebastian and Lofi had followed her, not the other way around.

“He’s so…different,” Ivy observed, and Candra couldn’t help smiling.

“You have no idea,” she deadpanned and took the beer back out of Ivy’s hand, turning to Lofi. “You and me have to talk. Now.”

Lofi looked around her hesitantly, as if someone would appear out of midair and give her an excuse to not talk to Candra.

“I guess that’s my cue to leave?” Ivy groaned uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry, Ivy. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Ivy’s eyebrows arched in surprise. “You remember what I said to you earlier, right?”

“I remember.” Candra nodded.

Ivy smiled and cast a disgruntled look in Lofi’s direction as she left.

Candra faced up to Lofi and kept her voice low and controlled. “One way or another, I’m getting answers tonight, and I really don’t think you’ll like the other way.”

She could see Lofi weighing the pros and cons, so she gave her a few moments to think about it.

“Fine,” she conceded, shaking her head as if she was disagreeing with her own decision. “Let’s take a walk.”

“I don’t know if we were truly happy, or if we simply didn’t know any better. It was a thousand lifetimes ago.”

They were walking through the city, Lofi had said toward home. Candra presumed she meant toward Lofi’s home since they were walking in the opposite direction of hers.

The city was alive as traffic fought for dominance on the streets, and people buzzed past them on the pavement, going about their business. In the distance, sirens wailed and jazz music pumped from a nearby club somewhere. It teemed with life, but Candra felt totally disconnected from it. She wasn’t part of it anymore; she wasn’t sure where she belonged now.

“What we remember from before is extremely vague. There was only us for the longest time, and then we simply weren’t alone any longer. We became Grigori—the Watchers. We looked down on the earth as humans lived their lives. Being born, growing, falling in love, having children—their souls were so beautiful to us. It’s more a feeling than a memory, but if I can describe it, life was like listening to the most beautiful music. It moved us, and we wanted to be a part of it.

“Anyway, some grew jealous. We coveted human life. Beyond anything, we wanted to have what they had. We wanted to experience life and death as one of them, but it was forbidden. This life wasn’t created for us. However not all of us could accept that. Some took human form and lived among humans…they took human mates.” She stopped talking and continued to walk in silence.

Candra turned her head slightly to see Lofi’s brow crinkle.

“It doesn’t sound like such a bad story,” she encouraged, keeping Lofi talking.

Lofi took a deep breath before she continued. “There was a covenant among Grigori to protect human life. The half-breed offspring were born abominations. They were born without souls, and in their wake, they brought plague, starvation when crops failed, pain and suffering for humanity…but they were loved and desperately wanted by their Watcher parents. For over a century, more were born and grew to adulthood. Their parents held out hope that they would change, but without souls, they never would.

“After a time, more Watchers came, except these brought wrath down on the Nephilim…the young ones. Their intent was the destruction of every last one of the creatures, some of whom were massacred while still swaddled infants.” She paused again, apparently recalling a painful memory. “A blood war ensued. Both sides lost so many…the parents of the Nephilim fought to save them as any parent would, but in the end, they failed. Many chose to die with their offspring. Many have died since or simply have given up living.”

They rounded a corner to a wealthy residential street similar to the one Phillip lived on. Candra looked around, but recognized nothing. She had been listening so raptly that she paid no attention to where they were walking.

“So they all died, the Nephilim?” Candra asked, feeling the words hurt. To know that so many like her had died, a whole generation…to think about it in anything more than abstract was just too much to take in.