Embittered Ruby (18 page)

“Aren’t you scared?” Nate rubbed his temples and glanced out the window of their favorite burger joint. “I mean, aren’t you at all worried about the future and how we’ll provide for this baby?”

Carmen twirled the straw in her glass, the ice cubes tinkling on the sides. She moved her food around on her plate, but couldn’t stomach the thought of actually taking a bite. “Scared? Not really. I mean, there are a lot of unknowns, but we can handle them. If other people do, we can.”
Don’t go weak now, Nate
.

“I’m not so sure about that anymore.” He stirred his ketchup with a french fry and popped it in his mouth.

His mother had gotten to him. She must have been working overtime. Dread filled the pit of Carmen’s stomach like lava at the bottom of a volcano. She searched her brain for the perfect words. “Look. We’re in this. It is what it is. We can’t back out now. At least I can’t. I suppose you could run away, but I sure can’t.” Play the guilt card. Nate was a sucker for that one.

The guilt clouded his eyes just as she’d planned. He’d never leave her to handle it all on her own.

“I’m not suggesting abortion—but maybe we should consider adoption. You know, at least talk about it.” Nate kept his face down, but raised hopeful eyes to hers.

“Are you kidding me? I’d actually rather talk abortion even though that’s not happening. I could never have a baby out there and not even know what it looked like.” Carmen shuddered. “I can’t stand the thought of someone else raising my baby.”

Nate shrugged. “At this point it shouldn’t really be about us, should it?”

Ugh. That struck like a sucker punch. True, she’d been pretty selfish. And true, the baby wasn’t being considered very much. But that would change as soon as they figured out their own future. They had time to work the baby into it. Didn’t they? “It’s all part of the process, Nate. We have to get ourselves organized before we can really think about the baby. Pretty soon it will all be about the baby.”

He pushed his half-eaten cheeseburger and pile of soggy fries to the edge of the table. “That’s the thing. What if we can’t figure things out? What if we’re throwing all of our goals and dreams away under the pretense of giving the baby a family, but in the end we destroy us all?”

The words hung in the air then settled around them like ash after a volcano erupted. What then? Could he be right? If that happened, if they weren’t a happy family like Carmen envisioned, then they’d be worse off than before this whole fiasco started. And there would be one more person who’d have to suffer the fallout. But it was too late. Wasn’t it?

“Fact is, Nate, I’m pregnant. I’m having the baby. You’re in, or you’re out. I’m sorry if you feel like you don’t have a lot of control over this situation, but you do have choices.” Carmen folded her straw wrapper into tiny triangles.

“The only choice I have is whether or not I marry you and parent this baby, or I don’t. That doesn’t seem like a lot of options.”

“You have more than I do.”

“Not the way I see it.” Nate turned his face to the side and stared out the window. His chiseled face and furrowed brow reflected back on top of the dark, snowy scene outside. “Okay. Thing is, I love you. That hasn’t changed. Nothing has changed really. I’m probably just having cold feet. I suspect it won’t be the last time.” He turned back to Carmen and took her hands. “I’m not bailing on you or on our baby. I promise.”

She squeezed his hands and nodded. For now anyway.

“We have a date tonight.” Diego peered beyond the chain holding the apartment door closed.

Pretty nervy. “We do, huh?” He showed up without warning and thought he could order her around?

“Yep. Diego thinks we need to light a fire in this relationship.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Uh-huh.” That boy was too full of himself. But people might start getting suspicious about their fake relationship if they didn’t make some public appearances. “It’s probably not a bad idea to get out and let people see us together.”

“S’all I been sayin’.”

“But why didn’t you call first?”

“I didn’t have your number. Besides, that’s not how Diego rolls. This way’s more fun.” Diego gestured at the lock. “This convo is becoming a drag. You comin’ or what?”

“Right now?” She raised the leg of her frog pajama pant. “I’m not really dressed for public viewing.”

“Okay. Five minutes. Meet us downstairs.” He pulled the door shut.

Who’s
us
?

“Mom. I’m going to go out with some kids from school for a while. Okay?”

“Okay. No walking the street. Keep your cell phone on you at all times. I’m glad you’re making friends. Just don’t stay out too late, and be careful.”

She still had no clue. Why didn’t she want to know the details? Who Carmen would be with. Where they were going. What time she’d be home. Mom had been super strict in New York, but then totally let go of boundaries when they moved to New Jersey? Made no sense. Probably the guilt factor.

What to wear? If only Carmen knew where they were going. It didn’t really matter though. Denim worked fine no matter what. Not like they’d be going to a fancy dinner or a show on Broadway. Carmen dug in her closet for her favorite pair of jeans. Bummer. They’d been washed so they needed to be broken in again. Should only take an hour or so to get them comfy. She stepped out of her pajamas and pulled her jeans over her hips.

She had to tug a little harder than normal to fit the button through the hole. The Great Expansion had begun.

Already? It seemed early. The books said most pregnant women could stay in their regular clothes until well past the start of the second trimester. Carmen still had three weeks until then. She’d have to think about investing in a new pair of jeans. She dug in her closet for her favorite sweatshirt. Hope she wasn’t supposed to dress up.

One day not very far down the road, she’d pop out, and people would start noticing her bump. What would they say about her when word started getting around? They’d all think the baby was Deigo’s. Could she blame them, though? Carmen would have jumped all over that gossip herself if it were someone else in her shoes.

Carmen hurried down the stairs to the Chevy beater rumbling at the curb. Diego sat in the front seat with an open one beside him. Carmen peered into the back window. Theresa? So, did she run with these guys or not? She was tough to figure out. Carmen would have to keep her eye on Theresa.

Who was the dude next to her? He wore all black and stared out the side window. He didn’t move a muscle when Carmen slid into the front seat. She waited for an introduction. None came. Alrighty then.

They drove for fewer than five minutes and squealed to a stop in someone’s front yard. Right in their grass. Carmen chuckled at the thought of someone parking on her dad’s lawn. He’d come unglued.

“Why’d you park on the lawn?”

Diego grinned. “Easier to make a quick getaway.”

Of course it was. How silly of her.

Throngs of people her own age and much, much older milled around the battered house. So, it was a party. Why couldn’t Diego have just told her ahead of time? Always so mysterious. And the guy in the back? Who was he, and why was he with them? Even more, why didn’t Diego introduce them? He seemed to want to pretend the mystery guy wasn’t even there. What was that about?

They climbed out of the car, and Carmen stumbled to keep up with Diego. He seemed to be looking for someone…or maybe something. He went through the front door, leaving her alone outside. Should she follow or wait?

Theresa sidled up to her as they pursued Diego. “Listen, you don’t want to be here. Trust me.”

“Why not?”

“Drugs. Lots of drugs. And probably some fighting. Maybe a gunshot or two. Still think you’re in for a fun little high-school party? Remember, sugar, you’re far from Kansas now.”

“I’m just minding my own business, hanging out with my boyfriend.” Carmen shrugged. “Thanks for the warning though.” It couldn’t be as bad as Theresa made it out to be. Maybe she was jealous of Carmen’s relationship with Diego. Maybe Theresa secretly had a thing for him.

Theresa shook her head. “You just don’t get it, do you? This isn’t a game. This is real life, and it ain’t something you want to mess around with.”

Carmen planted her hands on her hips. “What about you? Why are you here if it’s so dangerous?”

“I’m stuck with this life. It’s mine. There ain’t no way out of it for me. Plus, Diego’s my cousin, and we’re friends.”

Cousin? Hadn’t seen that one coming.

“Deep down, he’s a good guy. He just…” Theresa rubbed her forehead then locked eyes with Carmen. “Let me tell you this. I have God on my side. I pray every day that He keeps me safe and even that He keeps Diego safe—but I don’t know if God protects my cousin anymore. Not after he killed people.”

So the killings were real? How could Carmen find out if they were in self-defense or not? “Nothing I’ve seen tells me that he’s violent. I think he’s a decent guy.”

“He is. But look, he’s going to watch his own back first, and where Diego goes, trouble always shows up on its own. And you bring him an extra layer of conflict he doesn’t need.…Marco.”

Ah. That’s what she was upset about. Marco. “Diego is a big boy. He can decide who his friends are without your help, T.”

“Where’s my girl?” Diego poked his head out and squinted into the dark.

“I’m over here.” Carmen jogged over to the porch. Diego slipped his arm around her shoulders. “What’s going on?”

“Oh, not much.”

“Why did you leave me out here though? I felt really weird.”

“There’s nothing for you in there, pretty girl. Diego thinks you’ll be just fine out here.”

Should she protest? Carmen wanted to see what was going on inside the house, but maybe it was best she stay unaware. “So who was that guy in the backseat by Theresa?”

“Nobody. A ghost.”

A
glossy sheet of photo paper floated onto the dining-room table in front of Nate like a leaf wafting from a tree.

Carmen jolted at the intrusion and glanced up. Hillary. With her hands on her hips. Watching Nate. Waiting. Oh no, it couldn’t be good, whatever it was. Carmen let her eyes sneak over to Nate’s face, white as a sheet, then down to the picture he held.

Diego’s gold tooth flashed as he stood with his arm around a laughing Carmen, walking somewhere down the street from Horace Browning’s law office the day she’d skipped school.

Hillary towered over Nate to look at the picture. As if she hadn’t studied it enough. “What do you have to say for yourself, young lady?”

“To you? Nothing.” Carmen jerked her head at Nate. “If he wants to talk about it, fine. But I don’t owe you an explanation about this or anything.”

Nate gasped and dropped the picture onto the table. “How can you talk to my mom like that?”

Things were going to get ugly. But it was past time Nate knew the truth about his mom. “You don’t even know the half of it. And this picture is not at all what it seems.”

“It looks pretty incriminating, young lady.” Hillary spat her words like they were bitter on her tongue.

“Would you please stop calling me ‘young lady’?” And if she wanted to talk about incriminating…

Hillary held up the photo. “Who is this dirtbag? Why is he touching you? Why are you laughing? And what kind of damage control am I going to have to do?”

“What part of ‘none of your business’ do you not understand?” Carmen needed to hold her ground. If she weakened or wavered, it would be all over. She wouldn’t give Hillary McConnell the satisfaction.

Hillary reared back like she’d been slapped.

Nice innocent act, lady
.

“Carmen.” Nate jumped to his feet. “She’s my mom. You can’t talk to her like that.”

“Just sit down for a second. I promise you’ll be glad you did. She thinks she had evidence to incriminate me, but her picture means absolutely nothing. Why don’t you ask her what she was doing just before it was taken?”

He turned to his mother. “What is she talking about?”

“I wasn’t doing anything other than finding out what little miss was up to. Looks like my suspicions were right on target.”

Carmen rolled her eyes. If it weren’t so tragic, it would almost be fun to see Hillary’s face when the recording started playing. “She tried to buy me off, Nate.”

His eyes whipped between Carmen and Hillary. The infamous in-law tug-of-war. Bet he hadn’t expected to deal with that so soon in his life. “What are you talking about? No.” Nate held up a hand to Carmen. “Let me ask Mom. What is Carmen talking about?”

“Oh, don’t listen to her. She just wants you to turn on me so you won’t question her about that photo. Which, by the way, isn’t the only one.”

Nate squeezed his eyes shut. “One thing at a time, Mom. What did you do?”

At least the heat was off Carmen for a moment. Not forever though. How would she ever explain about Diego? Nate wouldn’t understand. And she sure didn’t want to have the conversation about the danger where she lived in front of Mrs. McConnell. Then again, Nate knew. He’d seen what happened to Mom.

Well? Wasn’t Hillary going to say something? No? Fine. “I’ll tell you what she did. She made me ditch school and meet her at a lawyer’s office, where she tried to get me to sign a paper saying you weren’t the father of the baby, and she wanted me to take twenty-five grand to disappear from your life.”