Embody

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not
the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than
ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and
unspeakable love.” ~ Washington Irving

For everyone who has ever believed in
me…

Chapter One

I couldn’t breathe. A sickening sensation
slowly began to creep through every part of my body, and the room
seemed to be spinning out of control
. Impossible - isn’t it? How
can this be possible?
I thought to myself as I stared at the
image of me and Drake in the black and white photo. I ran my
fingertips across the singed, tattered edges and trembled as the
memory of the first time Drake was alone with me played before my
eyes...he said he had seen me love him; I thought he meant in his
mind, not in real life. I sighed, remembering his warm, mesmerizing
touch, and a chill ran down my spine as the dark images he showed
me came to life again.

“Willow, you better calm down...Landen will
come in here,” Olivia said.

I looked to the window; Landen and Chrispin
were playing football with little Preston, and Libby was cheering
them on from our porch. Landen and I can now use each other’s gifts
as our own, and he was sure to feel my panic, my fear. As my eyes
landed on him, he froze in mid-play and looked in my direction. I
walked over to the window, smiled, and pushed my fears away so he
would think I was OK. As he fought with his natural instinct to
protect me, he hesitated at first, then finally nodded and resumed
playing the game.

I turned and walked slowly back to the table
and looked down at the photo. An eerie sense of déjà vu haunted me
as I stared at the images from long ago
. I could have never
loved
him - could I?
The past months came rushing
through my mind: the day Drake had found me at the lake, our fight
in the string, and finally, the moments he held me, shielded by a
white glow. Until now, I had let myself relish in victory – but I
was a fool...this was not over.

I felt Clarissa’s intent to see me, her
emotion moving closer to my front door. In a panic – wanting to
hide any evidence that connected me to Drake Blakeshire - I grabbed
the photo and ran to the stairs. Stunned by my sudden outburst,
Olivia chased after me.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

I nodded my head to the open door that
Clarissa was about to walk through. Olivia then turned and saw her
walking toward my front porch. “Wait,” Olivia yelled. “Clarissa was
with me when I found the photo; she already knows.” By the time she
finished her vain attempt to comfort me, though, I was already at
the top of the stairs. I then turned, looked down at Olivia, and
swallowed hard, assuming they had told Chrispin and Dane.

“Just us,” Olivia said, cautiously climbing
the stairs, not trusting any reaction I may have.

Hearing Olivia’s promise, Clarissa stepped
shyly through the threshold. She gave Clarissa a guilty glance,
then motioned for her to follow us. I turned and crossed the open
hall to the room I’d turned into my studio; two walls were all
windows, large doorways led to the second story porch, and blank
canvases lined the white walls. I shuffled my feet across the floor
and opened the doors to let the fresh air in; I needed to
breathe...it felt like the world was closing in around me.

“I guess you showed her,” Clarissa said as
they caught up to me. Olivia nodded; I could feel her regret.

“Where did you find it?” I said under my
breath.

Clarissa walked over to me and put her hand
on my shoulder. “We told your mother we would bring back things
that were salvaged each time we went to Franklin. We were packing
boxes up when an envelope fell over. That photo fell out.”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Olivia said,
walking to my side.

“I just don’t see how it’s possible...how
this could be real?” I said, looking down at the photo in my hand.
Drake’s image was breathtaking - perfect in every way - and my
image could not be happier to be at his side. A sick feeling rose
and settled in the back of my throat, and I struggled to remain
calm – to fight back the emotions that would send Landen to my
side.

“It’s a photo; it doesn’t represent a life
with someone. It...it could have been taken before you found
Landen,” Clarissa said, rubbing my back while trying to hide the
lie in her voice. She knew, like I did, that somewhere in time...I
loved Drake.

I wanted to hide behind her lie and believe
that I’d only loved Landen, but the sickening feeling was growing
more unbearable...I knew that it wasn’t true. I nodded to give them
peace, even smiling a little to hide my raging emotions beneath a
calm surface.

“You haven’t told Dane and Chrispin, have
you?” I questioned.

They both said no at once. They knew that
lying to me was useless; I had almost mastered Landen’s insight,
and I could only see truth as they spoke.

“Chrispin doesn’t need another reason to
hate Drake,” Olivia said, feeling remorseful.

Chrispin had lost his father, Livingston, by
Drake’s hand. The salt in the wound was when we all learned that
Drake was one of Livingston’s sons, tying Drake to all of us by
blood.

“And Dane is just as eager to hate Drake,”
Clarissa added.

Dane’s vengefulness was for the nightmares
I’d endured. Honestly, everyone yearned for retaliation for the
painful images that had haunted me through childhood.

“So what do I do with this?” I asked.

“Forget it,” Olivia said, taking the photo
from me and ripping it into small pieces. “Look, we all think Drake
is going to come back one day - we just didn’t want him showing up
and throwing this in your face,” Olivia finished.

“We thought if you knew in advance, he
wouldn’t be able to play with your mind...we were only trying to
give you an advantage.” Clarissa added

“I’m glad I did show you. Downstairs, you
looked weak when you saw it,” Olivia said, putting the small pieces
of the photo in her pocket.

Their twisted logic almost made sense. My
only problem now was finding a way to forget before Landen read it
all over my face.

“I brought some stuff from my house, too;
there are some photos of Monica. Do you want any?” Olivia
asked.

I nodded and followed them downstairs.
Through the window, I could see the guys still playing a demanding
game of touch football. Olivia opened the box she had brought with
her, then handed me a photo of me and Monica at the lake last
summer. She was so full of life; I didn’t think I would ever move
past the grief I felt when her memory surfaced. Olivia laid out a
few other photos from our senior year, then walked over and hugged
me.

“I have to go. I promised your mom I would
drop these boxes by before dinner,” she said.

“Wait, I’ll help you,” Clarissa said. Before
she left, she looked at me and said, “Willow, really, forget the
past; don’t let it hurt your present.”

I nodded as they left, then slid further
down into the chair. As I stared at Monica’s photo, everything I’d
faced over the past few months – all the emotions I’d felt as my
world was turned inside out – consumed me. The walls seemed to
close in around me. I imagined my future: another huge ordeal, my
family and friends put in harm’s way...my mind spun as I took in
the awe of a past I couldn’t remember. I needed to get away. I
abruptly sat up in my seat and pushed back from the table, then
went to the hall closet and pulled out mine and Landen’s travel
bags, which carried four changes of clothes and currency for
different dimensions. I was setting them by the front door when I
felt Landen walking in the back door. I then looked down the hall
and saw him hesitating at the table as he looked over the photos. I
felt his remorse as he saw Monica’s face. In a way, I was glad I
had left those photos out; I knew that he would not ask me why I
was upset earlier - he would just assume it was over her.

Landen walked slowly up the hall, tossing
the football casually from hand to hand. His intense blue eyes
landed on the travel bags at my feet, and I knew he could feel my
intent to run. Seeing how certain my intent was, he tucked the ball
under his arm. I felt him fighting with the urge to ask me what
Olivia and Clarissa had told me. He forced a calm smile, bringing
his perfect dimples to life.

“Are we going somewhere?” he asked
playfully. I sighed and nodded, looking down and knowing that if I
looked into his eyes, his calm would take me over and I would find
a way to stay. I wanted to run – to run away with him.

“I don’t care where. I just need to get
away, just me and you” I said in a pleading whisper.

He stepped closer and leaned his forehead to
mine. He then reached carefully for my wrist and traced my Ankh
tattoo – avoiding the brand of the star. We had not been anywhere
alone since we had learned that this star was a marker placed on me
by Drake. Chara was the only dimension in which I was safe.

“Landen, we don’t even know if he is alive.
We can’t be prisoners here,” I pleaded as tears came to the corners
of my eyes.

He let my hand fall, then reached for my
face and wiped away the tears before they had a chance to
escape.

“I would hardly call this a prison,” he
whispered, trying to make me smile.

“You know what I mean,” I said, trying to
remain serious.

Landen tilted his head toward the phone in
the kitchen. “Can I at least call someone and tell them that we’re
leaving so they don’t think we’ve been kidnapped by scary monkeys?”
he said light-heartedly.

I held up one finger; we would be here all
night if he called everyone in our family, and all of them would
either tell us not to go or find a way to follow us. He smiled and
nodded, then walked to the phone. I ran upstairs to close the
balcony doors and all the windows. When I came back downstairs,
Landen was closing up the last window. When he saw me, he walked
over to the bags, picked them up, and opened the door.

“How long do we have before the Calvary
comes?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“Not long,” he said with a wink.

I grinned, then took off in a sprint - and
he was right behind me. We raced through the field of flowers to
the large windmill that led to an opening in the string.
Breathless, I stepped in. As the hum of energy pushed through me, I
felt renewed. The white light, gently lined in colors, was so
beautiful to me, and when I was in the string I felt like I melted
into the energy of the universe. Landen took my hand and began to
lead us away from Chara.

“
So who did you call?
” I thought

Landen smiled down at me.
“Brady. Just so
you know, I had to promise him we’d be home the day the baby is
due,
” he thought.

I immediately felt guilty; I’d promised
Felicity that I’d help her, that I’d calm her through the pain.

Landen wrapped his arm around me.
“They
think we deserve the time alone, too,”
he thought, washing my
guilt away.

I leaned into him, and a few feet later he
stopped at a bright yellow light. We then stepped through, out onto
the summit of a large mountain. Behind us, a home was built
perfectly into the peak. It was made of a deep red wood, and the
entire front of the house was glass, which mirrored the sunset back
at us as we looked into it.

“I think this will do for tonight,” Landen
said, guiding me up the stone steps. He moved a piece of wood from
the front steps, reached in, and retrieved a key.“Wait here; I need
to go turn on the generator,” he said, setting the bags down on the
steps.

I watched him walk around the side of the
house, then slowly sat down and gazed at the last moments of the
sunset, taking in its beauty. Suddenly, my guilt came back over me;
I had left without saying goodbye to my mother, Grace, or my
father, Jason. I wondered for a moment if Libby had told them that
I had left, if they would understand. Behind me, lights came on and
shined through the glass front of the house. Landen then casually
walked around the house, smiling at me.

“So who does this house belong to?” I asked
him when he got closer.

“All of us. When we take people to different
dimensions, it’s just easier to have a place that you can call home
while you teach them,” Landen said, picking up our bags, climbing
the stairs, and unlocking the front door.