Embrace, Entice, Emblaze (126 page)

want something else.”

Damn
it. These angels are going to owe me.

Lincoln looked at me, “don’t” written in his eyes.

280

Emblaze.indd 280

1/4/13 4:14 PM

Emblaze

But I did anyway.

“I want the necklace. You said yourself, you have plenty that are more special and more valuable. If you want me to do this, then I want the necklace.” Right at that moment, I was sure it was important.

Irin’s easy expression changed and he slammed his fist down on

the table with such force that the whole piece jumped up before thumping back down. But I saw the look in his eyes— the greed,

the hunger— and knew any promises he’d made to his freakoid

children came second to his own needs.

His smiled returned. “I suggest you hide it well until you are

clear of the island. I will not be held responsible if my sons discover its whereabouts.”

I shrugged in casual agreement even though my heart was

pounding. Lincoln started toward me again, looking relieved

I hadn’t just blown everything. And maybe a little impressed.

Definitely curious.

“But,” Irin added sheepishly, “you will both need to lower your defenses for the kiss.”

My heart stopped thudding and skipped a beat instead. We

thought we’d one- upped him, but really he’d walked us right into his trap. Lincoln lifted his luminous green eyes to meet mine and we stared at each other.

The worst thing, as awful as it was, was that part of me was

dancing inside.

My entire being wanted this, and while I knew we’d made the

decision, for all the right reasons, never to let this happen, I wanted 281

Emblaze.indd 281

1/4/13 4:14 PM

Jessica shirvington

him to kiss me— desperately. Before I knew what was happening,

eagerness overruled and I’d dropped my defenses. A wave of pure need crashed into me. I took the closing step toward him.

“Violet,” Lincoln said, straining against his emotions, but that was all we had time for before I felt the honey of his power melt away, replaced by only him. For the first time in ages, it was just us.

His hand went to the side of my face and then to the back of my neck as he drew my so willing body toward him.

As we kissed, I felt him pull me closer, tighter, but not tight enough.

Never close enough. His mouth molded to mine and I felt his soul reach out to me as mine did to him.
Almost
touching— desperate.

Mine, mine, mine
.

I was surprised my hands didn’t go wild, trying to get to all of him— but they didn’t. I just held on to him for dear life. In that moment, I was quite willing to take down anything that ever tried to take him away from me again. Lincoln held me in the same

way, his arms gripping me so firmly that my back arched in perfect agony as we kissed. I could feel it now, Irin feeding from us, the tiny tendrils of my feelings for Lincoln being pulled from me, but there was so much more, he barely touched the surface. When Lincoln’s lips broke from mine momentarily, I cried out to him frantically, “I love you!” as if this might be my one and only chance to say it again.

The words snapped something between us. Lincoln stiffened

and pulled away, stumbling back, even though I’d held him with

all my strength.

I was breathless.

282

Emblaze.indd 282

1/4/13 4:14 PM

Emblaze

And broken.

My arms wrapped around my waist as I tried to hold myself together.

Lincoln kept moving back, a stunned expression on his face. I

felt his power start to swirl as he leaned over, bracing his hands on his knees, and put the barriers between us back up. I attempted to follow suit.

“More than I could’ve
ever
dreamed. Soul mates,” Irin slurred, drunk on our emotion.

I wanted to stab him in the eye, which helped bring me back

to myself a bit. He stood up crooked and walked lazily to one of the cabinets.

He threw me the necklace, and without thinking, I stuffed it

down the front of the dress.

And
if
Uri
thinks
he’s getting it, he’s got another think coming.

“We’re leaving,” Lincoln said.

“Feel free, payment has been more than sufficient. I have only a parting question,” Irin said, following us dreamily.

We headed for the double doors. Lincoln pushed them with

staggering force and held them open for me. We charged through

the hall and started up the stairs with no intention of stopping until we reached the ground level, where the faceless exiles still stood as if they’d not moved the entire time. In front of the door was the one who’d shown us in, blocking our way to freedom.

I spun around, my whole body shaking. Irin was right behind me.

“What?” I roared, finding my voice.

“How did my hauntings reveal themselves to you?” he asked

283

Emblaze.indd 283

1/4/13 4:14 PM

Jessica shirvington

calmly, gesturing a hand to the Nephilim. “What do you see when you look at my sons?”

“Nothing,” I said, earning a flash of the eyes from Lincoln. Irin smiled knowingly. “They’re empty, hollow, except for the sound.”

“Yes, they accumulate those. The screams of all who have laid eyes on them before. Put a few together and it’s quite the symphony.” He walked us a few steps closer to the door and nodded to the

Nephilim, who moved away at his command.

“And Lincoln, what about you? I should warn you, I can see

every form my children take.”

Lincoln served up death- in- a- stare. “Then why ask?” he growled.

I knew he would take Irin down if he felt he had a good shot.

But after the feed Irin had just gorged himself on, it would probably be suicide. And we had our orders.

Irin closed his eyes in some kind of delight. “Dessert.”

Lincoln’s nostrils flared and his jaw clenched. “I saw Violet.” When Irin’s eyes opened, his face flooded with pleasure.

“Each one,
exactly
as she is tonight. Quite a beautiful sight, though”— he winked at me— “for your partner, more torment than

he could imagine.”

“Torment?” I repeated, starting to feel sick. “That’s what they show us?”

“They show us exactly what we most dread to see in ourselves.”

Irin opened the door and held out his hand for us to leave. “Please,
do
stop by again.”

284

Emblaze.indd 284

1/4/13 4:14 PM

chapter
twenty- five

“Whatever fate ordains, danger or hurt, or death predetermined,
nothing can avert.”

THeOGNIs OF MeGara

Lincoln sat in the front on the way back to Fira. I was in the back, next to Max, trying not to suff ocate in the overwhelming amount of power Lincoln was pulling on. No one spoke.

Th e chauff eur dropped us back at the hotel and Lincoln was out in an instant, bounding up the steps three at a time.

I followed, less enthusiastic.

By the time I reached the foyer, I could hear him yelling. I

followed the sound into the hotel bar where Josephine sat comfortably, surrounded by four of her ninjas.

When Morgan saw me standing in the doorway, her expression

dropped a little. She shifted in her seat like she wanted to come to me, but I shook my head. It wouldn’t help her to leave her post.

“You had no right! An
incubus
!” Lincoln bellowed. It was the Emblaze.indd 285

1/4/13 4:14 PM

Jessica shirvington

third time he’d yelled those words since I’d walked in. “Do you have any idea how much you are risking?”

Josephine smoothed down her skirt and looked uninterested.

“Lincoln, calm down. I sent you in there to do your job. The

Keeper called after you left him to tell me we are welcome to stay on Santorini. You have both returned unharmed. I don’t understand the problem.” But the way her look had morphed from one

of boredom to one of challenge said she understood exactly.

“You played us! This had nothing to do with Violet’s power and

everything to do with our…connection,” Lincoln, still furious,

yelled, but without as much volume. Since when had he down-

graded our relationship to a
connection
?

Josephine stood up. “Yes. It was the easiest way. I knew once the Keeper laid eyes on the pair of you, it would guarantee our stay.

I have a job to do and nursing you and your partner’s feelings is not part of it.” She brushed past him toward the way out. “Really, Lincoln, all this soul mates business is tiresome. It’s no different from a forced chemical reaction and has nothing to do with your
real
feelings for the girl. You need to learn how to control the effects at some point unless you aspire to an end like Nyla’s. I still have high hopes for you. Consider this your first practice session.” Josephine went out the door, but not before floating a look in my direction. She knew I’d heard everything.

Lincoln stood still, hands fisted by his sides. As soon as she was gone, he dropped his head and let out a ragged breath.

“Is it so terrible to be close to me?” I asked softly.

286

Emblaze.indd 286

1/4/13 4:14 PM

Emblaze

His head flew up and he spun around.
He
hadn’t realized I was there, which in itself was a sign of how distracted he was.

“Violet, you…should go to bed.” His shoulders tensed and he

moved to the bar, pouring himself a glass of wine from the bottle that must have been Josephine’s.

I leaned against a stool and took off my shoes, which had cut

into the backs of my heels. “You could’ve at least said I looked pretty. Or…I don’t know,
something
.” Because for some reason, out of everything that had happened tonight, that seemed to grate on me the most.

He took a gulp of wine and shook his head. “You don’t want me

to start saying
something
. Trust me.”

I felt a sting in my eyes and blinked back the tears. “Am I really the thing you dread to see in yourself most?”

He collapsed onto a stool. “Is nothingness really the thing you dread to see in
yourself
?” He looked so pained that I decided to give him an honest answer.

“Yes. Since I embraced and killed that image of myself…I’ve

always feared that a part of what I’d done was true, that I really did kill a part of myself. It felt real. At first, I thought it was my soul, but then you and I…Well, things wouldn’t be like this if I didn’t have a soul, right?”

He held his glass up as if in agreement.

“But I’m still frightened by what I’ve become, am
becoming,
and about…”— I looked at the blue carpet, avoiding his eyes— “the

things I’ve given up.” I still couldn’t look at him, but when I heard 287

Emblaze.indd 287

1/4/13 4:14 PM

Jessica shirvington

the stool creak, I quickly added: “Now you answer me. Am I the

thing
you
dread the most?”

He started to move, finishing his drink and taking a few steps

toward me. But I needed to know. “Answer me,” I insisted.

He stopped and sighed. “Yes. That’s what I dread.”

I closed my eyes and nodded, my jaw and neck aching with the

awful truth.

I’m such a fool. Leave. Now!

“No wonder tonight was so horrific for you. Good night then,”

I said, barely getting the words out before rushing for the stairs.

“Violet!” Lincoln called after me.

But I didn’t want to stick around for an encore. Was Josephine

right? Were Lincoln’s feelings for me only there because our souls were somehow chemically drawn to one another? Did
he
believe that if it weren’t for that, he wouldn’t care for me?

I ran up the stairs, suddenly feeling ridiculous in my outfit.

Instead of going to my room, I kept running, not able to stop until I stumbled out onto the rooftop, gasping for fresh air.

The view over Santorini was breathtaking, and even through my

blurred vision, once again, I was awestruck by its beauty. But now it just made me cry more.

Everything
beautiful
is
tainted.

To prove my point, I looked out to the ocean and the volca-

no’s silhouette.

How
can
I
do
this? How can I be this person who fights these
battles?

All I wanted was to get into my flannel PJs and eat a tub of

288

Emblaze.indd 288

1/4/13 4:14 PM

Emblaze

ice cream while bawling my eyes out. Everyone wanted me to be

someone I wasn’t. Even Lincoln.