Embrace The Night (36 page)

You don’t know me.

Well, she did now.

Sage settled back into her computer chair, the pounding in the back of her skull having shifted to the slamming of her heart. Her stomach felt tight and unpleasant, and bitterness settled in the back of her throat.

Simon Japp, the man who’d been so tender and kind and
good
to her had been a bodyguard for one of the most powerful and violent mobsters in Los Angeles. Bodyguard, she was pretty sure, being a euphemism for…well, hired gun. Thug.

Bottom line…he’d lived a life of violence. He was a killer.

That explained a lot of things. An awful lot of things. The way he’d acted when he dragged away the man who’d attacked her—murderous and lethal. His familiarity with knives—lecturing her on cleaning the blade after she sliced up the wolf. The way he handled himself in tense situations.

And, in general, the dark, dangerous undercurrents of his persona.

Those hands…those violent, capable, elegant hands that had caressed and stroked and loved her had taken lives. Had probably pulled triggers, or held knives, or even, maybe, killed all on their own.

She could hardly comprehend it, hardly mesh the Simon she knew with the man he’d been.

You don’t know me.

That was what he meant. She understood now.

If only she could figure out what he meant about being her superman. Her hero?

The soft
ding
announcing a new arrival drew Sage’s attention from her whirlwind of thoughts back to the computer screen. She clicked quickly away from a photo of Leonide Mancusi, his mistress—at that time known as Florita Tatiane—and the mobster’s bodyguard…a fierce, dark, younger-looking Simon Japp.

Even in the photo, she could see the torment in his eyes.

“Sage,” said Theo. “What are you doing down here? I thought you were going to stay in bed for a while.”

Great. Theo. Just what she needed right now.

Give him a chance. He’s a good man…a far better man than me.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, obviously recognizing the trauma on her face. She hadn’t been crying or anything, but he knew her. He loved her. He’d be able to read her…just as she’d begun to be able to read Simon.

“Nothing…just tired, and a little headachey,” she said.

Give him a chance.

Should she? Now that Simon had made it clear where his loyalties lay? Obviously he’d known Tatiana. They’d had some sort of relationship…and she wanted him back, and he’d gone to her.

Hadn’t he? It was all a blur, now, after her head injury. Had he been willing?

All she knew was that he hadn’t stayed with her. And that he was with Tatiana.

Maybe the torment on his face in the photo was due to the fact that his boss had the woman he loved, and he had to look on in misery.

Maybe now that he’d found Tatiana again, he really was exultant and happy. A man who’d lived the violent life he had wouldn’t be bothered by the fact that she was a Stranger…a person who’d helped create the Change.

Maybe Theo and Wyatt and Quent would find him happily ensconced with the gorgeous actress when they went after him in the morning.

Or maybe she was making up stories to ease her broken heart, to pump herself full of anger at him for sending her away.

“Sage?” Theo had come to stand next to her chair, and she spun to face him, jolted from her circular mental arguments. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

She stood up. Maybe she should just forget about Simon. She had a man right here who loved her, whose past was clean and clear and admirable. After all, he and Lou had been the spearheads of rebuilding Envy and helping to create a new civilization.

“Theo, would you think it strange if I asked you to kiss me? Just…without anything else? Just a kiss?”

He let out his breath in a
whoosh
and dragged her up out of the chair, folding her against him. “Of course I wouldn’t. I was so afraid that I’d scared you off, with that stupid email I sent…”

He closed his arms around her and bent his head to meet her upraised lips. Their mouths met, his gentle at first, then hungry and insistent…hers opening willingly, curiously…even desperately.

Desperate to taste him and erase the one who’d come before, hopeful and willing…but in the end, defeated. Because it was a nice kiss.

A nice one that made her pleasantly warm—but not weak-kneed and light-headed or hot and trembly and breathless. It didn’t make her feel comfort and safety, as if she’d come home, as if she was exactly where she needed…and wanted…to be.

Sage pulled gently away, her hand resting at the side of his face. “Theo,” she said, aware that he was out of breath, that his eyes were hot and avid and that she was about to throw a bucket of cold water all over him, “I…” She sighed and stepped back, bumping into the computer chair and knocking it into the table with a little clunk. “I don’t feel…the same way you do.” She pushed out the last few words in a rush, watching the change in his face.

His eyes shuttered and turned empty, his face, which had been slack with desire, tightened and stilled. “Is it Simon?” Then he muttered something nasty under his breath, his eyes blazing.

“Theo, no. It was even before we left for Falling Creek. I didn’t feel the way I sensed you felt. I didn’t realize it at the time, I mean, how you felt, but I knew something was changing. And it made me…uncomfortable, sort of.”

“I never meant to pressure you, or make you feel uncomfortable,” he said. Misery laced his voice, his dark eyes remained blank. But the corner of his mouth had twisted into a deep crease and she knew he was hurting.

“You didn’t pressure me. You didn’t do anything wrong, Theo. I care about you very much. You’re my oldest and best friend, but I don’t feel the sort of emotion you feel for me. You’re more like a brother than…a…a lover.”

His hands fell away from where they’d slipped to her shoulders, as if they’d been trying to hold her close to him, knowing she was backing away. “Sage, I’ve loved you for years. I’d hoped for a long time that you might see me as more than an old man, more than a friend.”

She felt as though he’d punched her in the stomach.
Years?

“Won’t you give this…us…a chance? I know the idea is new to you, but it might just be the newness of it that’s got you confused.”
And now that Simon is out of the picture…

He didn’t say it, but she knew he was thinking it…because she couldn’t help but think it herself.

“Theo…I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt you. I just…”

“Shh.” He put a finger to her lips, gently, and said, “Let’s end this conversation here and…just let it go. Okay?”

She nodded, afraid to meet his eyes, but forcing herself to do so. Such deep pain there, such darkness.

“So,” he said, stepping back, his face shifting into something that resembled normalcy even though his movements were stiff. “Redlow. I haven’t had a chance to catch you up on things, you being out cold and all.” He tried to smile, but she could see what it cost him.

“You found it?”

He nodded, but before he could continue, the quiet
ding
sounded, and the sounds of multiple voices and pairs of feet trooped down the circular staircase.

Sage couldn’t help a mental sigh of relief that there was now a buffer between her and Theo.

Quent led the way, followed by Wyatt and Lou. The sight of the handsome blond man had Sage realizing with a start that she had something for him. But Theo had already begun to talk, explaining that they were just about to debrief on Redlow.

“Quent, do you want to check something for me?” she asked, pulling the thing that Simon told her was an identification badge, the plastic thing with Remington Truth’s picture on it, out of her pocket. “Can you tell me if this belonged to Remington Truth?”

He didn’t hesitate, sitting down in her computer chair and then reaching for the badge. She handed it to him and he closed his eyes, frantic, ugly emotions running across his face. He appeared to be in pain, and she glanced at Wyatt, who seemed to be monitoring the situation.

Moments later, he opened his eyes, pitching the badge onto the desk with effort, as if he couldn’t wait to get rid of it. His eyes were haunted, his face tight with pain.

He spoke rapidly, like gunfire. “It’s his. And it also belonged to a woman. Dark hair. Blue eyes. Young. But it was definitely his first. For a long time.”

“What else?” Wyatt said.

Quent drew in a breath that shook audibly. “He was a bloody fucked-up wank. Most of what I got was anger and guilt and horror. Power. Desire. He was suicidal, I think. A brilliant man, but suicidal. It was all a blur, a horrible, horrifying fucked-up tornado of shite. He—or at least that ID badge—lived through some fucked-up times. I couldn’t stay there long enough to peel it away, to understand it. It’s too…horrible.”

“Thank you,” Sage said, brushing Quent’s shoulder lightly with her hand. He trembled beneath her, and she got a sense of intense loneliness from that simple touch, and that he wasn’t used to comfort. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would be so difficult for you.”

She looked up and found Theo eyeing her, and she gave Quent’s shoulder a little rub, then withdrew her hand. She glanced at Lou, who was unusually quiet.

“No,” Quent replied, “no. That’s my…contribution to this whole battle against these bastards. We have to find them, and destroy them, right? It’s not going to be easy, and I’ll do whatever I have to do.”

He swiped his honey blond hair off his forehead, and she saw a bit of the tension ease from his eyes. His voice became stronger, and she got the impression that he might have been a good orator…in his previous life. “We’re here for a reason—me, Wyatt, Dred—and Simon and Fence too. None of us are the men we were when we went into those caves in Sedona. For whatever reason, the universe protected us, brought us here. Who knows, maybe we even traveled through time. Ever hear of string theory? It’s possible. But here we are, larger than life, different…reborn in a way, I guess. And the way I see it,” he said, sitting up straight, now his expression determined, “we have a responsibility to do what we can—to destroy the Strangers, and whoever else annihilated everything that we knew and loved.” And there, his voice cracked, just a bit, at the very end.

Silence reigned for a moment, and Sage almost felt like she needed to clap. Instead, she glanced over at Wyatt, who’d turned away and was looking—glaring—at the floor. His broad shoulders were unmoving.

“Right, then,” Quent said, a little more subdued after his outburst. “I think I can handle the mental assault of a few bad memories that I can discard at any time—let alone didn’t have to live through. It’s part of the deal.” He smiled up at Sage and she blinked back a bit of dampness in her eyes. “But thank you for your concern.”

And thank you for that little speech. I really needed to hear that.

“So,” interrupted Theo. His voice sounded a little steely, drawing Sage’s gaze, but he wasn’t looking at her. “We’re going after Simon, then should we follow up on this Redlow lead? They’re in the same area. Since the ID badge definitely belonged to Truth, he may have given it to this dark-haired woman. She may have been the last person to see him—at least four years ago.”

“We find Simon first. Then we go to Redlow,” said Wyatt flatly. “I’m fucking tired of waiting around here scratching my ass. Let’s get something done.”

“I’m going too,” Quent said. “I’ll be able to identify the woman if she’s there, or possibly determine whether she’s been.”

“In the morning, as planned,” Lou reminded them, speaking up for the first time. Sage couldn’t help but notice the way his attention had gone from her to his brother and back again, several times, during the course of the discussion. “It’s getting late and it’s been a long day.”

“I’ll go too,” Sage said.

“Haven’t you had enough adventures?” Theo asked. “What about your head?”

She ignored him to say, “I’m the only one who knows my way around FC.”

“You said Simon went back voluntarily,” Quent said.

“I’m not sure how voluntarily it was,” Sage replied, acknowledging the truth. “It was more like he offered himself as a hostage. To save the city.” She tried not to show her worry. She might be furious with him, but she—well, heck. She might as well admit why her heart was so broken. She loved him.

But Simon was able to take care of himself. Especially since the man could turn invisible. How could anyone catch him if he didn’t want them to? He could do anything he wanted and never be caught.

Her stomach felt tight again. She hoped.

“We leave first thing in the morning,” Wyatt said in a voice that brooked no argument. “Makes sense for Sage to come with us,” he added, giving Theo a curt look.

“I’m going to go up and get some sleep,” she said, suddenly needing to be alone…to think. She rubbed the back of her head for emphasis. “Don’t leave without me.” She looked at Quent when she said it, and then Lou, considering them the most sympathetic people in the room. They both nodded.

At the top of the circular stairs, she pushed the buttons that opened the old elevator doors and started the walk back to the flights of stairs that would take her to her room. She passed the Pub, briefly considering a stop in there—where Jade happened to be singing for the after-dinner crowd. She saw Elliott sitting in the front row, as always, and the mayor of Envy, Vaughn Rogan, who’d had a big thing for Jade before Elliott came along, sitting in the corner.

But she didn’t want company.

Nor, Sage decided, was she quite ready to return to her room.

Instead, she went outside, glad to get into the relative quiet of the night. Low voices and the sounds of people walking along the old sidewalks and trimmed pathways reached her ears. The natural light was dim, for the moon waned and was now a mere quarter. Only a few nights ago, she and Simon had sneaked to the abandoned house to set up the
NAP
, under much brighter light.

Ah, Simon.

Was he with Tatiana now? Happy, reunited with and old friend…maybe a lover? She had to accept it was a possibility. It wasn’t like she’d missed the tension between the two of them during their confrontation at dinner.