Embracing Emma (Companion to Brisé) (9 page)

Will surprises me and jogs over to them, wraps them both in a hug, his huge arms holding them both at the same time. “Thank you.” Their faces are a mirror of one another. Dazed look, mouth falling open, I notice their grip on one another’s hands tighten.

“We love you, son.” I have to struggle to hear Brett’s voice—the tone and shakiness of making it unrecognizable.

“Love you, too. Both of you.” I look at my mom, and she winks.

“Hey QB, time to hit the locker room,” the coach calls to Will, and as he hustles off I notice the group of assholes off to the side staring over at our group in disgust. I can’t help myself but to flip off the ringleader, Brian, who is flanked by his brother Seth. What a waste of space. Seth narrows his eyes and heads into the locker room. Brian stares for a few moments before breaking contact and following the goon squad. Maybe a college ten hours from home isn’t a bad thing. Will and I have a different foundation than most relationships. We’ll be fine.

Famous last words.

I blew off a ride home with my parents opting to wait for him. His gait is slowed, head bowed, and he looks like the opposite of the boy he was an hour ago. “Hey there, I was wondering if you were ever going to come rescue me.”

His head snaps up. “What are you doing here?” The blood staining his lip and scraped knuckles alarms me.

“Waiting for you. What happened?” I nod to his hands, and he shoves them in the front of his jeans.

“I just blew my chance at playing at UGA.” His monotonous tone and blank stare reveal that he is suffering. “I decided to embrace the Emma way of things, and it backfired.”

“What?” I have no idea where his anger is coming from.

“It doesn’t matter.” He steps around me and unlocks his truck. “You coming?”

“Will you talk to me?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He slams the truck in gear and squeals out of the parking lot.

“It does to me.”

“Give it a damn rest, Ems. You tell me you want me to stand up to the guys, so I did. It happened, and it ruined everything.”

“What exactly happened back there?”

“I allowed Brian and Seth’s words to have power over me, and it exploded in my face. The fucking coach for Georgia saw it and pretty much told me what I’ve told you for years.” He avoids eye contact, flinches from my touch. “Said words shouldn’t get to me like that. My actions are all I have to prove myself to him, and I blew it. He watched me fight my teammates. It doesn’t matter why. Then he called me a ‘hothead’ and informed me I don’t have a place on his team. This is what I wanted to avoid, and you wouldn’t let it go.”

I gasp and reach for him again. He yanks his arm from my grip. “I’m sorry, Will. Can I do anything?”

“Just admit you were wrong. You think taking a stand makes a difference. It doesn’t. It just cost me my dream and for what? None of those guys are going to change. The only thing changing is me listening to you. I can either go thousands of miles away for school or GSU; which is what I was trying to avoid. I told you I wanted to bide my time and I’d be free of them soon. That wasn’t good enough for you.”

I want to argue, but I’m at a loss. He pulls into my drive and doesn’t shut off his truck or make any moves to follow me inside. “You coming in?”

“Nah, going out with the guys.” I try to fight the tears of being dismissed.

“Why won’t you talk to me?”

“Because it won’t change anything. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He leans over and opens my door, a clear invitation for me to take my leave.

“I love you, please talk to me.”

“I’ll call you later.” He doesn’t turn his head to look at me.

“Maybe I’ll answer.” I hop down and slam his door as hard as I can. It echoes around the quiet neighborhood, and he scarcely waits for me to step back before he leaves. I slam my front door with equal force and announce my homecoming.

“Emma, goodness child, what is with all that racket?”

“Nana, why are men stupid?”

“Oh dear, you’ve just asked me the age old question. Let’s come in the kitchen and see if we can figure it out.” I burst into tears and feel her wrap me up in her arms. “Your parents have gone to dinner with Brett and James, we need to see if we can get you sorted before your daddy sees you in tears.”

I follow her to the kitchen and take a seat at the table. She has a glass of wine in her place and grabs another glass, pouring a few sips in it. Sliding it in front of me, she winks. It’s not enough to get me drunk but enough for me to loosen up and feel like an equal. I replay everything to her, and instead of being as confused as I am, she laughs. “It’s not funny, Nana.”

“This has nothing to do with you, Emma. I admit those boys he runs with leave a lot to be desired. Those parents, too. He’s hurt about something and feels safe taking it out on you.”

“I’m not his punching bag. I won’t stand for it.”

“Is he abusive?”

“No.”

“Is this a common thing?”

“No.”

“Does he treat you with respect?”

“Always.”

“You aren’t his punching bag. You’re his safe haven, and you’ll be whatever you need to be as long as he loves you like he does. He was angry, and he unleashed on you because he knows you won’t leave. He has abandonment issues. I don’t agree with some of the whisperings I’ve heard about who he spends his time with, but does he ever act like them?”

“No, he gives me some bull saying they play on the same team, and he’s not rocking the boat.”

“He’s wiser than you think. I see your point, but sometimes we can’t make a difference in people if they don’t want to listen, and when you try they have a way of making you stoop to their level, which is what happened tonight, I suppose.”

“I don’t understand.”

“William has a good heart, but none of this is easy. He’s torn between tolerance and ignorance. Sometimes ignorance wins. It’s the way of the world. Just because it wins at that moment doesn’t mean it always will. Those boys are stuck in ignorance, I hate the word tolerance, but maybe one day they will have some. You and William, like most humans, embrace people. This stems from his parents, doesn’t it?”

“Mostly. I hate the names they use.”

“He does too, honey, but he’s smart enough to know that it doesn’t matter at the end of the day. Nothing you say will change them and trying to just stirs up animosity.”

“He tried to tell me that.”

“And you pushed?”

“Yes.” I’m embarrassed.

“Honey, there are some lessons that come with age and experience. I bet he’s dealt with it a lot more than you realize, so this is where his experience trumps your indignation to do the right thing. In this situation, it’s not up to you or William to do the right thing because you aren’t in the wrong. In life you don’t agree with everyone, you don’t even have to like everyone, but you can’t change anyone.”

I let her words sink in. “So in pushing him I ruined something important for him.”

“No. I just said you couldn’t change someone. He chose to do what he did, sometimes you just have enough and you snap. He’s just punishing you because he’s hurt and that’s what we do for those we love. We soften the blow however we can.”

“Thanks, Nana.”

“You’re welcome. Now wash that glass so your parents don’t lock me up for corrupting their baby.”

“Will you be here tomorrow?”

“Yep, staying all weekend. That place gets lonely, I miss my family next door.”

“Why didn’t you move in with us again?”

“I’m wondering that myself.”

“It’s never too late to change your mind.”

“Quit taking my wisdom and using it against me.”

“Whatever you say can and will be used against you.” I hug her as I’m going to bed.

“Last time I heard those words it was a fun night.” She looks lost in thought.

“Nana!” I admonish her.

“Juvenile records are sealed honey. It’s okay.” She laughs at my shock as I walk away.

Chapter Ten

William

As I leave her house, I know it’s a mistake, but I can’t quit replaying the last hour in my head. My dream, my escape from reality was in my grasp, and in one moment of weakness, I let Brian get the best of me.

“Your girl is a piece of work, QB. Is she as tight as the assholes you’re used to?” Brian’s taunts are getting worse. I ignored it, and it took all I had to keep walking. “No response, big guy? I saw your daddies here. Quite a show you gave us.” He’s getting closer to pushing every button I have. Instead I keep going, I need to shower and talk to Coach. “Your secret’s safe with me, William. They adopted you so you can be a faggot just like them. What’s it like?”

“Shut the fuck up, man.”

“Did I touch a nerve? I’m gonna touch more than a nerve when I get a hold of Emma. It’s not like she’s your type.” I don’t respond. “Too good for us. Good thing I’m not a tight end, you’d be more into me. Do you hear your dads having sex?”

I step into his space, “SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP. Not another word about Emma or my parents.”

He leers at me. “Wonder how the college players will like having a queer playing for their team. I’ll make sure to let them know.” I throw the punch before I think about the repercussions. The hit startles him for a minute, but he comes back at me. One blow hits its mark, my chin, and I know I’m bleeding as I bite into my lip. Every taunt, jeer, and crude word comes flying to my brain, and I continue to pound at him. Even as I’m pulled off, I continue swinging.

“Get a hold of yourself, Jacobs.” Coach’s voice breaks through, and I stare at my teammates; some looked relieved, some shocked, and some plain scared. “My office, NOW!”

Brian’s conscious, barely, and I should be thankful, but I’m not. The team begins to help him from the ground as Seth follows me with his eyes, and I know there will be retribution for this. Coach slams the door and nods to a chair; I notice the UGA Coach is sitting in the other chair. FUCK! “Mr. Jacobs, I had expected this to go a bit differently, but after what I just witnessed, I have to say I don’t have room for a hothead, I don’t care how good you are.”

“I understand, sir. This isn’t like me.” The dried blood sticking to my hands doesn’t bode well for his assurance.

“One incident is enough. Thank you, Coach Jenkins, for letting me take up your time. Mr. Jacobs, you’re a talented player, exceptional scholar, and I’m disappointed to not offer you a spot at UGA playing with the best team. You need to keep your head down and your nose clean. Those are your teammates, you should have each other’s backs, not be attacking one another.” I hang my head. If he knew what my teammates were like, he may disagree with his statement, but then again he may have the turn the other cheek policy. I hear the door close, and I feel it through my entire body; my dreams drifted out the door with him.

“William, what happened in that locker room? You just lost a stellar opportunity to play in the SEC.”

“I lost control, Coach. Brian said some things I didn’t like.”

“Bullshit, Jacobs. This isn’t like you. I can’t help you if you don’t talk.” There isn’t anything to help me with. My SEC dream is gone. Word will spread throughout the conference, and no team will want me. “Luckily, the other coaches didn’t bear witness to your explosion. Hit the showers and get out of here. My door is always open if you want to talk.”

“Yes, sir.” The locker room is empty, and I shower as quickly as possible, wanting to get home and wallow.

Taking it out on her was wrong, but her damn Pollyanna attitude is naïve, and I snapped. It was nothing I hadn’t heard. I’ve always been able to deflect the sting, but for some reason today, I couldn’t. When I saw her alone in the lot waiting for me, I panicked. I’ll fix it, but I need some time to contemplate what to do. I’ve gotten no official offers, and I wonder how bad it would be to choose a college with some distance.

I crawl up to my room, leaving all the lights off, and collapse on my bed. My phone chimes with a text. It’s Emma telling me she loves me. I respond letting her know I’m fine, at home, and I love her, too. I need tonight to flounder in my misery. A loud crash startles me, and I hurry downstairs to find the front window smashed, glass all over the hardwood floors, and a brick with red spray paint. The letters spell “WARNING.” I know exactly who it is. I’ve witnessed their threatening behavior for years. Everyone bends to their will, and I’m really no different.

Whether their choice of intimidation is a brick through the window, or playing chicken with a nemesis on the back road, it’s all about scaring the hell out of their opponent. They don’t play fair, and the tactics are getting bolder with age. I know there is no escaping the retribution, and I’ll handle it as long as Ems isn’t involved. She’s my weakness, and they know it. I take the brick and grab my keys. The fire is blazing, and the two I need to see are here like they were expecting me. Of course they were, they beckoned and I came. I walk up to them, showing no fear, wanting to get this over with. “What’s the meaning of this?” I drop the brick at their feet.

“Do you see what you did to my brother’s face?” Seth takes a step towards me, but Brian halts him.

“We have a dilemma.” Brian looks me up and down. He doesn’t like the challenge I’m issuing.