Embracing Eternity (6 page)

“I didn’t come here to beg for favors.”

She spun away from him and marched to the edge of the snow-covered clearing with stiff, angry strides.

“I’m not expecting you to beg.” Evan called himself every kind of an idiot. Of course she would see it that way. He doubted she’d been freely given anything in eons. But he’d been ordered not to offer her sustenance. To give her power without her asking for it would be a direct act of disobedience.

“Ah, right. You just expect me to
ask
for what has already been offered.” Her bark of laughter held no amusement. “It always comes down to this for me, doesn’t it? Promises made and promises broken. Well, fuck you. I don’t need your power. Not when there is a dying city full of desperate people at my disposal.”

He moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her before she could summon enough strength to leave.

“I am not expecting you to beg.”

“Then what do you expect?” She pushed against him but he held tight, arms pinned by his and her wings fluttering uselessly against his chest.

Ah, the one answer he couldn’t give her. If she knew the archangels had forbidden him from offering, she would never believe he could redeem her.

“What happened this morning?” He dipped his head to place a gentle kiss against the side of her neck. He could smell the taint of evil there, feel the residual pain.

Something had happened, something robbed her of the precious power he’d given her just hours before.

She stiffened, her body straining away from his.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“He stole it from you, didn’t he?” He kissed the defiled flesh again. She flinched, as if even that light touch had hurt her.

“I’m his servant. He can’t steal what is already his.” In that moment, she looked and sounded so forlorn it broke Evan’s heart. There was no sign of the proud, confident cherub Evan had loved in this poor lost being.

What had Lucifer done to her? Reaching up, he tugged the neckline of her blouse aside to examine her tainted flesh.

“Stop that,” she snapped and tried to pull away once more.

“Shh.” Her flesh had been shredded. Thick pink scars marked her from neck to shoulder, standing out garishly against her black scales.

Merciful Heavens, she’d been mauled. The extent of the wounds sickened him. This kind of violence wasn’t about feeding. Pain wasn’t required to take power from even a reluctant being.

No, this was about viciousness and subjugation. Lucifer tortured her to keep her in line.

Ah, his poor little lost angel.

Evan dipped his head and nuzzled the wounds.

“Ask me,” he whispered against her skin. Leaving her like this was killing him. She wasn’t strong enough to heal and he wasn’t allowed to take away her pain. Not until she said the word. “Just say ‘please’ and I can help you.” He brushed his lips over her scars and willed the word to pass her lips.

He needed to help her. Had to make it stop hurting. Healing wasn’t the same as offering sustenance, was it? Surely he could do this for her.

He kissed the spot again, this time flooding the half-repaired wounds with limited power. He let the warmth of it ease through her in a gentle wave, chasing off the chill and wiping away the pain.

Flesh knitted and the marks faded, disappearing into her skin as if they were never there.

As her pain eased, so did Meela. She relaxed in his arms, leaning against him like a lover. Her body, chilled by the harsh winter wind, warmed against his. Her soft curves molded to him.

“What do you want from me, Evan?”

So much. The improbable. The impossible.

“I want you to be happy.”

Her hands cupped his face and she pulled back to look into his eyes. The hard edges of her scales scraped over his skin, a reminder that she was not like him. Not on the outside. Inside though, where it mattered, she still had an angelic nature. He was sure of it. The fact that she was here in his arms and the child was safe was all the proof he needed.

She deserved to be happy as much as any angel.

Her demon eyes sparkled like rubies despite the sorrow etched in them.

“I gave that up when I chose to follow Lucifer. There is no happiness, no joy for me. There never will be again.”

“I can’t accept that.” Everyone deserved happiness. Especially Meela.

“Then you will always be disappointed. Forget this quest of yours. Don’t give up your eternity for me. I’m not worth it.”

Didn’t she know that she would always be worth whatever sacrifices he had to make?

“Ah, Meela. Don’t you understand? You are my happiness and I would do anything for you. You always have been. I used to live for your smiles, would do about anything to see you grin.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why shouldn’t I? It’s true. I always believed that one day, when you smiled at me, you’d stay instead of running off after another seraph. Now your smiles are more precious than ever.”

She dropped her hands and moved away once more, this time to the center of the clearing. An air of melancholy surrounded her, and an answering heaviness grew in Evan’s chest and he once more had the feeling that time was slipping away from them. There was no hope left in her, and soon she’d harden her heart and lose her sense of longing too.

He needed Ren and Gabriel to find something soon. He had to save her before it was too late.

From here, the ice-glazed shoreline was just visible through the skeletal trees, and beyond that the lake stretched to the horizon. An icy wind came from the water, whipping his hair away from his face and making her dreadlocks dance and sway as they lashed around behind her.

“I believe you feel this now, Evan. But I also believe you must get past this and forget about me. I can’t be the key to your joy. I’ll…I’ll hurt you.” Her face contorted as if the thought of harming him caused her physical pain. “If you don’t move on, I’ll hurt more than you can fathom, and I don’t want to do that to you.”

He refused to believe that. Meela could never harm him. She cared for him, at least a little, and she’d protect him. It was the way of angels. The fact she was trying to warn him proved that she wouldn’t hurt him.

A sound caught Evan’s attention, something that should not be there. Something was making its way through the brush. He stepped in the direction of the noise, searching for some sign of movement.

There. Something dark was shuffling through a patch of dead grasses. But he could not feel the presence of any animal. Whatever was there was not natural.

It went still and he could just make out a dark outline through the grasses. He reached out to pull them aside.

“Evan, no!”

Meela’s warning came too late. The creature leapt.

Chapter Six

Evan had a split second impression of a wrinkled face with ratlike teeth and a gaping cavity in its face where a nose ought to be. The creature came at him, going for his throat. Those curved rodent teeth sank into his flesh.

Demon.

Thrown off guard by the lesser’s attack, he stumbled backward, tripping over the hem of his robes and falling to the ground, hard.

He struck at it, swinging his fists and beating his wings about him in an effort to drive it away. It clung, sinking its teeth and claws in tighter with every move Evan made. There was a rush of movement in the dead grasses and more demons appeared.

They were misshapen beasts. Some had skin, other scales. Some were shaped as rats, others had more apelike appearances. All had sharp teeth and talons that dripped venom. And they were slowly surrounding him.

One by one, they jumped. Dark blurs of movement launching themselves at him, biting into his flesh. Weakness hit him. His limbs grew heavy and his head spun as the demons siphoned off bits of his power.

Meela was there, slashing at them with her claws, trying to force them from him. Kicking and hitting at them did no good. Every attempt he made to dislodge the beasts only made them cling tighter, their claws and teeth ripping into his flesh and burning him with their poisons.

One of them turned on Meela and Evan’s heart stuttered in fear. A demon was slashing at her, gnawing at her. Demon cannibalizing demon. One after the other rushed at her, abandoning him for easier prey.

She was too weak to endure this. He had to get them off before they consumed her.

Gathering his strength, he sent a burst of energy through his body and shot a ball of power at the beasts.

Stunned, they fell from him and began to writhe on the ground. One made a second lunge at Meela, falling just short as she leapt back.

Evan increased the flow of power, until the little demons began to sizzle. Squeaks and screams came from them as the overload of pure angelic power ripped through them. Their red eyes glazed and their bodies began to still.

Within minutes they were eerily quiet.

“What did you do to them?” Meela’s voice trembled and her red eyes were wide with fear.

“I’m not sure.” He’d wanted to blast the creatures away from her but something else had happened, something unintended.

“They are…dead?” Meela knelt to touch one. The movement was hesitant, as if she expected it to jump up and attack her.

The lesser demon’s body crumbled to nothing more than a pile of dust under her fingertips. The wind from the lake blew over them, dissolving the piles and carrying away the remains of the lesser like so much ash.

“They are. You destroyed the demons.” Meela looked up and he could feel the burden of her fear redirected at him.

It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be.

“Demons can’t be destroyed.” He barely choked the words out. They didn’t ring with truth, but instead fell like dying creatures from his lips.

Demons were like angels, infinite beings, weren’t they? A shard of fear pierced him. The concept of mortality, of death and dying, had never occurred to him. If these little demons could be destroyed, what did that mean for the rest of them?

“Perhaps these are not like us.” Her brow furrowed and her forked tongue flicked over her lips as she stared at the remnants of the lessers.

“They are demons.”

“But not the same kind of demon as me. They appeared. They had a beginning.”

A beginning meant they were not infinite, and if they were not infinite, they could have an end as well. He pushed himself to his feet and moved to examine what was left of one creature. Touching one finger to the ash-like powder, he searched for any hint of a soul and found none.

It was nothing but blackened dust, fine silt that drifted on the wind.

He cocked his head to the side and glanced back at Meela. She stood beside one of the larger piles of demon ash, her eyes filled with fear as she scanned the grasses. Did she fear another attack? Had she, like he, suddenly realized the possibility of her own mortality?

“I had not realized these creatures were so dangerous.” Evan stood and brushed the soil from his fingers. “Do they do this often?” The possibility that demons ate their own hadn’t occurred to him until now, but it would certainly make sense.

“Sometimes. Demons don’t have angelic protection like humans, so if they can sneak in and steal a bit of power from us, they will. One or two aren’t usually a problem, but when there are larger groups they can be vicious.”

“Is that the only threat they pose?”

She shook her head and hugged her arms even tighter around her middle, looking for all the world like a shadow trying to fade into itself and vanish. “They act as spies. They watch the archdemons and Creation for Lucifer.”

If any had escaped, they would bring Lucifer right to the island. Evan would have to disguise their presence here.

He looked back at the last of the demon ash before him. Evan wasn’t sure what all of this meant, but he knew it was vital information. These were things angels had never known about the demons, important facts that could make a difference in how angels battled them and defended Creation.

“The archangels need to know of this.” Ren needed to know too. In his heart, Evan knew this held the key to bringing Meela home.

He just couldn’t figure out how.

“You are leaving?”

“Hmm?” He tore his attention away from the creature and turned back to Meela. She hugged herself tightly, her tiny wings held tight against her back. The winter wind whipped her hair around her body and she shivered.

She looked so frightened and helpless. The demonform, which should appear menacing, instead only heightened her fragility.

More of those things could be in the brush, watching them, waiting for a chance to attack her. She didn’t have enough power to withstand an assault like the one he’d just experienced, nor was she strong enough to leave this place to seek more. Even now, his wounds were healing, nearly gone while her small scratches still bled. Meela didn’t have anywhere out here to get power she would need to heal except from him.

And he’d been forbidden to offer it to her.

In his ignorance, he’d managed to box them both in.

He couldn’t leave her unprotected. Not until she’d asked him for power and fed.

“I won’t leave. I can speak with him later,” he assured her. Rising to his feet once more, he crossed the clearing and took her into his arms. Her body felt chilled against his.

“This…is not important then?”

“No, this is very important. We never considered the possibility that these lesser demons could be destroyed. Being able to eliminate them will make a very big difference in how we guard and protect Creation.”

“Then why aren’t you rushing the Pearly Gates with the news?”

“Because right now, you need me more.”

For a moment she simply stared at him, uncertainty in her eyes. “I’m nothing but a demon. How can I be more important than sharing this with the archangels?”

“How can you think you’re not? Meela, you are everything to me. You always have been.”

Huffing in irritation, she wriggled out of his arms and stalked back toward the opposite side of the clearing. “Sometimes I’m not sure if you are stubborn or a fool, Evan. Heaven is not my home, not anymore.”

“But what if it could be?” he asked, following her. “Would you want to?”

All she had to say was yes. All she had to do was ask and he’d move the Heavens for her.

She stopped then, turning to look at him. The dull gray light of winter seemed to vanish against her scaled skin and her red eyes sparkled like rubies against the matte darkness of her flesh.

“I used to wish that I’d never followed Lucifer, that when Renatus read the list of my sins that I had swallowed my pride and asked forgiveness. But wishing and regrets do no good. Thinking about what I’d lost only made the pain worse. What’s done is done and I can’t go back.”

He didn’t want to accept that, didn’t want to give up hope after so many years of hopelessness.

“You’re an angel. You belong in Heaven.”

“I never realized you were so damn stubborn.” Her hands came up to hold his head still, to force him to look in her eyes. “Look at me, Evan. I’m a demon, and my place is in Hell. Don’t ask me to imagine or pretend there can be anything else, because when pretending is over, reality will come back and I’ll lose Heaven all over again.”

The pain in her eyes was so stark it made his heart ache.

“Meela—”

A small bush near the edge of the clearing exploded with movement. Evan spun, prepared for another attack. Meela skittered away from him, her eyes wide and fearful.

A dozen sparrows winged their way toward the mainland. Evan tried to calm his racing heart. Birds.

He turned back to Meela and found her eyeing the tree line.

“They could be anywhere.”

“It was just birds.” He reached for her but she shied away. Ignoring the shaft of hurt, he stepped closer and took her in his arms. “The demons are gone.”

“You can’t know that. They could be here now, watching. They’ll tell Lucifer.”

“I’ll keep you safe.” He held her tight against him and surrounded her with a shielding cocoon. Lucifer wouldn’t touch her. No matter what Evan had to do, he’d protect her from the Devil.

He let his power seep into her, warming but not feeding her. It rubbed against the vestiges of her scant power, testing her strength and buffering her weakness.

Her breath caught on a tiny gasp and he suddenly became aware of her nipples, tight with the cold, pressing into him through the fine fabric of her shirt. Thoughts of Lucifer and the lesser demons vanished. He forgot about keeping Meela hidden. Evan couldn’t think past the cold-hardened nipples thrusting into his chest.

The power flowing from him changed. He could feel it become something different than it had ever been before. Hotter. Needier. Meela felt it too. She went still in his arms; only the slightest trembling let him know how much the change had affected her.

As her desire peaked, it fed back to him. A thread of arousal laced its way through the energy, making it even richer, more potent.

A wavering sigh escaped her and her body began to relax, to melt into his.

He could seduce her. The realization rushed through him on a wave of fire. The demon was ripe for tempting and he was her forbidden fruit.

The urge to take her and fill her with his power and mark her as his was so strong, almost overwhelming. He buried his nose in her hair, breathing in her smoky scent, considering. Meela, his. Forever.

But to do so would violate a direct order from not one, but three archangels.

“Ask me, Meela.” Merciful Heavens, she had to ask. One word and he’d be free to give her every bit of power in him, to give her everything he had, his want, his need.

His love.

He dipped his head and nuzzled the last vestiges of her injury. Evan kissed the spot again, this time letting the tip of his tongue trace over the vanishing ridges of scars.

He nipped, dragging the edges of his teeth over her skin with a gentle scrape.

“Evan, I—”

The words seemed to stall in her throat and Meela tensed with a whimper. Her entire body twitched and the sensual energy pooling in her became tinged with fear once more.

“Shh…” he soothed. “It’s just me. Just Evan. I will not hurt you.”

He kissed her neck again, waiting for her to calm before he dragged his teeth along the healing skin again. She tipped her head and moved back slightly to look at him. He caught a glimpse of the protest in her eyes and did the only thing he could think of to stop it from crossing her lips.

He kissed her.

In an instant, heat blazed between them. Power, a dizzying whirlwind of energy and emotion, surrounded them and he fought to hold it back. He held her tighter, desperate to keep them both from toppling over in the snow from the pure force of what exploded between them.

He could never tire of this. To finally hold her, finally feel her sweet lips against his.

He had been waiting for this since before time began.

She wriggled against him, freeing her arms to wind them around his waist. Angling his head, he slipped his tongue past her lips and the flow of want magnified, hit with such force his knees went weak and his every feather prickled.

Evan had to force himself to hold back his power, to keep it in check. He pulled his wings forward, surrounding her in warmth, blocking out the world and holding her tight against his body.

“Stay with me, Meela,” he whispered against her lips. “Leave him and come home with me.”

Stiffening, she pulled her mouth away from his and took an audible breath.

“I can’t.”

“I’ll find a way. I swear I will. Just say the word.”

He allowed the temptation to linger. Time passed in the thunder of his heart and the burn of bated breath. Her face twisted in pain, and tears filled her crimson eyes.