Embracing Everly (19 page)

Closing my eyes, trying to shut him out, I took a deep breath. “This next one goes out to anyone who has ever been cheated on. I hope you like Janis Joplin, here’s “Take Another Little Piece of My Heart.” Here we go,” I whispered the last part refusing to look his way. Hopefully, he’d be smart enough to pick up my subtle hint in the lyrics that I knew what he was up to.

There was no pickle jar tonight, just a wad of cash handed to me for the evening. I was wrapping up, grabbing my guitar and bag when I sensed him behind me. I stilled for a second as a chill ran up my arms, breaking out into little goosebumps.

“We need to talk.” I continued packing up my stuff refusing to look at him. “It’s just a talk. Sit down.” He pointed to the side of the stage. “Please, Ev.”

I shot him the nastiest look I could muster and sat—waiting. He stared out at the bar without saying anything, making me wonder why the hell he was even trying. “Look, Everly, maybe this thing between us shouldn’t be everything to both of us. Maybe halt the brakes a little.”

I bobbed my head slowly listening to his words. I refused to cry in front of him. I would not fucking cry in front of him. I breathed in and out trying to gather the courage to confront him. “It’s fine, Mick. You go back to your slut and I’ll go do my thing.” I turned to walk away.

“Ev,” he grabbed my wrist, his voice strained. “I’m not fucking her. Stop it. I would never do that to you. I just think maybe this happened too fast. I don’t like this feeling where I’m drowning not knowing what the fuck is going on with you. I don’t want it. I can’t do it. I’m so sorry, but I told you I’d screw up.” I swear I saw the glistening of his eyes right before he ducked away and out the back door leaving me behind. Not a minute later, I broke down, unable to hold back any longer. What was the point of me loving him? What was the point of him telling me he loved me if he only walked away the moment things got tough? Tough? Really? I punched one guy who got grabby, and he couldn’t take it. I couldn’t figure it out. And I tried over and over to make sense of it all.

Brian, Janice’s brother, was standing in front of me when I looked up. “You okay, kid?”
Kid?
Please he looked only a few years older than me.

“Yeah.” I swiped the tears away with the back of my hand.

“Here,” he passed off a shot. “Looks like you could use this.”

“I’m only twenty.”

He glanced around and then smiled. “Don’t worry about it. Do the shot and then I’ll walk you to your car.”

I plastered a fake smile on and then held the glass up before tipping the gold liquid down my throat. “Men suck,” I told him.

His hand gripped my chin and lifted it enough for me to notice the heat in his eyes. “Not all men, Everly.”

Great!
I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything at all. He pulled me up by my elbow. “C’mon, I’ll walk you out.” I followed numbly, not from the shot but because I knew that look. I had seen it on every guy I had ever kissed, and I had no idea what to do with it.

THE FUCKER WALKED
her out to her car. I should be grateful, but after seeing him eye-fuck her through her entire set I knew he wanted her. Shit, every guy in that dump wanted her. She had me hard and craving her in a matter of seconds when her sweet voice rang through the bar wearing one of her ridiculously sexy outfits. Theresa being there was purely coincidental. I made sure she knew I had no interest in her anymore, but she stayed put and had a drink with me. I honestly didn’t think Everly could see me until she played that damn song letting me know that she did. And it cut me deeply to know I’d hurt her, but it was for the best. For the last eight years, only one person mattered in my life—me—and adding an additional worry, an additional person to care about freaked me the fuck out.

I waited in my truck to make sure she got off all right. Where the hell did I go wrong? One minute we couldn’t get enough of each other, talking about love and futures, and then the next we were going at it like an old married couple. She had no idea the danger that lurked out there, and it fucking killed me to know something could happen to her. I wanted to warn her, I wanted to tell her she was being stupid, but I didn’t want to freak her out and make her some recluse either. What I should have done was gone and got her that night and not had her deal with empty, dark parking lots alone.

For the next several gigs that was what I did. I watched and waited until she was safe as a kitten before I even thought about going into my own apartment, my own bed. Something clicked after not being with her for a few weeks.
God, a few
weeks!
I knew I missed the hell out of her, and I knew the pain she was inflicting on my heart was too much for me to take. And I hated letting her down. It had been a long time since I had to worry about someone else’s feelings other than my own. I started thinking about not being there for her if something did go down. If somehow her dad’s trouble found her and I lost her. My head and heart pounded with constant worry that she’d be ripped away from me, leaving me alone and in love with no clue how to bounce back from her. I figured if I nipped it in the bud, ending it before I got in even deeper it would help. My family screwed me over eight years ago, and I still wasn’t over that, imagine what loving Everly could do to me? I’d keep contact for work purposes only. I could swing that. As long as I knew she was fine, I could maintain that distance even if it killed me not to go to her nightly and hold her like I wanted. Love her like I wanted. At least that was what I kept telling myself.

She worked at the Loving Cup three nights a week and now the Wishing Well two nights. I went to every show. It was obvious she knew I was there, and I didn’t care if it made her sad or pissed her off. The dick boss from the bar was already on the prowl and making his moves with her whenever he got the chance. If he touched her one more time, I was going to lose my shit and end up in jail. And if my Angel told the crowd she was dedicating Radiohead’s “Creep” to an asshole ex one more time, I might end up hating a very great song.

Dawson had called a few nights prior and informed me her dad was making a move underground. He had called his burner and informed him the DEA was closing in on the rest of the club he had fucked over while the rest were all rotting in cages or dead. But, a few remained and it was only a matter of time before they went down too. They retrieved chatter that the majority of other charters wanted no part in the crap they got caught up in. I didn’t know much about the underground gang world, but I did know that was good news for me and very good news for Everly.

I scanned the calendar on my phone, taking note there wasn’t much time left at school. Just a small stretch of time before she graduated and moved on from me to follow her dreams. When she had mentioned it before I expected to shadow her wherever the hell the wind took her and worry about everything else later. She was it for me. These last few weeks had me knowing I needed to unbury my head from the sand, man-up and get what I wanted. Love was crippling me when it should be letting it heal me, strengthen me.

But before I made that clear to her, or before I even attempted to have her back in my arms, I needed a few more things to fall in place. One of them had been her new boss and making sure she didn’t fall for his bullshit lines to get her in bed. I felt like I was testing her to see what she did about him, and I felt like slime for doing it. But I needed to know if I could trust her. I hadn’t been able to trust many, so with her it was an absolute must. Deep down, I knew I had no right to expect her to pass him up since I passed on her. But then again, I felt if she really loved me she wouldn’t be able to go through with it. There was no way I’d come back from knowing another man had been inside of her sweet body, touching and taking what he shouldn’t. A body that was fucking mine. A heart that was mine and pretty blue or pink painted toes that were mine too. I’d rather have someone pluck my damn eyes out with a grapefruit spoon before knowing she gave herself to someone other than me.

That would be my breaking point.

The end of us.

The end of me risking loving another ever again.

I heard her playing her guitar and singing softly in her room. I sat on the floor, tilting my head back on the wall like I did every night to listen to her play an old Aerosmith song she’d been practicing lately called “Dream On.” I loved how she played the older stuff, not their newer material.

The sudden silence had me listening for anything. The walls were so thin I could even hear her in the shower in the mornings if I listened close enough. The music stopped and then her voice was muffled talking to someone, but no other voice could be heard. She had to be on her phone, and I missed it ringing. Not a moment later the slamming of her door told me she’d gone out. It was Sunday, and I knew she didn’t have to work. Every horrible thought possible crept inside my head, and I couldn’t drown out the thought she was seeing him; that jackass boss of hers from the bar.

I headed out to my patio, pack of smokes in one hand, bottle of Jack in the other ready to wait her out. I could see the parking lot, and I was determined to figure out what she was up to. If she didn’t come home, I’d lose it. I thought about following her. It was my first gut reaction, but I stopped myself. I needed to know if what we had meant anything to her. If she brought his ass home or pulled a no show on me, well, I guess I’d have my answer.

I glanced at my cell every ten minutes. It was almost three in the morning when I headed back inside after polishing off more whiskey than I should have. She never came home. I had my answer. Not the answer I wanted, but a result all the same. In the long run, I found it best to figure this shit out early. Wish it was earlier, but in the words of Everly, you win some you lose some.

CHARLIE’S ROOMMATE HAD
called me in a state of panic that something was very wrong with him. He barely made any sense and without any thought I took off to help an old friend in need when he said he thought he might be dying. I didn’t even know why I was doing it. I guess I wanted to believe that the good in people won over the bad. Treat others as you would like them to treat you. Billy said that he had taken something and he kept asking for me and didn’t know what to do. I hated him, but I would never wish harm on him or anyone else.

Without thinking it through, I took off with just my keys in hand. I left my cell and handbag on the chair in my room in my hurry.

The front door had been unlocked, and the house was eerily quiet, which struck me as odd since it never was silent. It was a frat for goodness sakes, but I pushed myself upstairs to his room.

“Charlie, I’m coming,” I screamed.

Billy stepped out from the room they shared and held the door wide for me. “Is he okay? What happened? What did he take? Did you call 911?”

“I’m sorry, Everly,” he whispered before ducking out and closing the door.

“What?” I yelled after him.

“Babe, I told you not to fuck me over. I told him that you were mine.”

I backed up; my hand clinging to the knob trying to twist it open with no success.

“It’s locked from the outside.” He approached me, his hand holding something I couldn’t quite make out.

“What are you doing, Charlie? What’s wrong with you?”

He shook his head and raised his eyebrows. It was then I noticed his pupils were enormously dilated. “Did you really think you could let me go? I let women go, not the other way around, Everly. No one walks away from me. And to him,” he raised his voice. “That fucking prick. He doesn’t even go here, Ev; he’s been lying to you.”

Scared out of my wits and still not knowing what the hell he was hiding behind his back, my dad’s voice screamed at me to do something. “We’re not together. It didn’t work after all.”

“Figures,” he laughed, disturbingly.

“One of the things I loved about you Ev, was that you had no friends to gossip with, to find out shit about me, well, that and that damn body of yours. Best I’ve ever been inside. Not the most exciting in bed, but the tightest.”