Emer's Quest (Manannan Trilogy) (7 page)

“Someone to check on me
, once the fire burns down and the fumes lessen.”

“Send a message to me when you are ready
to start and we will look at you regularly. Come Rolf.”

Once they
had gone, Emer sat down hard on one of the stools. She was shaking, her hands and also her legs. Her breath hissed through her teeth in short gasps. What had she done? Perhaps she would never see tomorrow’s dawn or live but never wake again to the living world. The picture of her mother’s face flashed before her. She remembered that long ago sunny afternoon when Niamh had showed the child, Emer, how to mix this dangerous potion.

“Remember
this well, Emer,” Niamh said. “If you are unlucky, you may need one day to look into the future. The mixture must be accurate, if you are to survive the journey and return.”

She had never forgotten. She
could
do this thing and there was no escape. Best to do it at once. She rose and carefully set out on the table the things she needed.

“Hello!” a voice called from outside
and the door rattled.

Emer
opened it. A woman she did not know stood there, holding a bowl and a grinding stone.

“I was told you
wanted these.” She thrust the objects into Emer’s hands and hurried away before Emer could even thank her.

Emer turned and went back into the hut. There
had been fear on the woman’s face. She could not mistake it. The woman knew something uncanny was going on and if she did, so did everyone else. Emer sighed. If she lived, she would be called a sorceress. Her life would never be quite the same again.

Emer spent the rest of the morning grinding the ingredients into powder and then measuring them out into the right proportions.

“One black, two white, three yellow…” she whispered the rhyme her mother had taught her as she blended them together. The mixture looked the same as her mother’s.

Emer drew a long breath. She had finished.
She tidied away the remaining ingredients, putting them on one of the high shelves. Now there was no more excuse for delay. She wiped her hands and picked up the bowl which she covered with a small piece of cloth in case any of the mixture blew away. When she stepped out of the hut, the sun was shining and the sea was blue. The distant mountains were dappled with a light covering of snow. Emer looked around her. The world was a beautiful place, even here where men lived with their smells and the clank of their hammers. Would she ever see such loveliness again?

She went to find Atli, who was down
beside Rolf’s ship, talking to one of the men. He saw her and broke off his conversation, hurrying to meet her.

“I am ready,” Emer told him.

“Then come.”

Atli led her to another hut, some distance from the others. It seemed
as if it had been put to rights in a hurry for it had not been properly swept and the air was musty, as little used places are. It contained several pallets and a fireplace where a blaze had been newly kindled.

“This is where we tend the sick,” Atli told her. “
We rarely use it, thanks be to Odin. No one has been ill since the spring. You will be undisturbed, for most people think the place is evil. Will it do?”

Emer nodded.

“Before you start, I must tell you that I intend to send two of my ships as far as the middle sea. I have never done this before and I would like to know if these voyages will be successful and prosperous. I also want to know if we will find your father.”

“
I will try to find out for you. Do you wish to remain while I begin?”

“
Yes.”

“Then stand by the door so you don
’t breathe in any of the fumes. When they become too strong, go outside and don’t let anyone come in until the air is clear again.”

“I will do so.”

Emer pulled one of the pallets closer to the fire. She sat down on it and took the covering off her bowl. Very carefully she sprinkled the powder on top of the glowing turf. Immediately clouds of dark purple fumes spiralled upwards, reaching out from the fire like a living thing. Hurriedly, Emer lay down on the pallet, her hand holding tightly to the green stone she wore around her neck. She imagined the great ships on their southern journeys, holding their images in the forefront of her mind. Hopefully she would be able to see enough to fulfil Atli’s expectations.

“Wish me luck,” she said to
him.

“Odin and all the gods protect you,” he replied.

Then the vapour poured over her, a sharp smell was in her nose and her mouth. The fire grew brighter until, suddenly, darkness fell and the image of the ships was gone.

She was shivering and croaking hoarsely. At first she could not think where she was. Arms
held her, but arms which had never held her before. Her vision swam as if she were underwater. She saw faces that wavered.

“Are you all right?” someone asked.

“Drink this.” A beaker was held to her lips and she gulped thirstily. Water, only water, but nothing had ever tasted better. A fur blanket was pulled around her shoulders and more logs were piled upon the fire. Her shivering ceased. She was suddenly aware she was still clutching her green stone. It was difficult for her to unclench her fingers. Her vision cleared and she recognised the people with her, Atli and his sons. Rolf was holding her, so she could not see his face, but the others looked white and shocked.

“What did I do?” she asked.

“You started screaming,” Atli told her. “We watched as you asked us to, when the smoke began to clear. Then we could not wake you. What happened? What did you see?”

Emer paused, trying to form
the words. She closed her eyes and it was there, imprinted on the inside of her eyelids. The wonder, the hope, the abject fear and the things she could not tell any of them.

“Emer?
Did you find out what happened to my ships?”

Emer drew a great breath, for she had never seen the ships at all. Atli was looking at her expectantly and she knew that her answer mattered to him and to her future. What could she tell him? Not the truth certainly, she still wanted him to find her father.

“I saw them landing in a strange place,” she said slowly. “The beach was surrounded by trees that looked different from our trees.” This was safe enough. She had listened to Niamh telling the story of the wonderful journey made by her great-grandfather, Lir, to the middle sea. “No harm came to them and they loaded strange goods to be brought back to you.”

She risked a peek at Atli who was smiling. He nodded and said,

“Continue.”

More confident
, now that the lie seemed successful, she continued,

“Then I was gone to another place.
I was with a man, walking over green hills. I have never seen him before. A huge grey dog was with him and his hand lay on its head. He came towards me and his eyes were kind. ‘Greetings, Emer, we meet again after so many years,’ he said. I told him I did not remember our meeting. He said he had held me as a newborn baby, so I would have no memory of him. Then he told me to come with him for he had things to show me.”

“What sort of things?”

“We fell through rainbow light but I was not afraid, for he held my hand. It felt icy and my fingers started to feel numb. We landed on an island I did not recognise. Men built ships on a beach, my father among them. I called out to him, but he did not answer me. He was carving the curve of a keel and he never even looked up.” She could not keep the disappointment out of her voice. ‘He can’t hear you,’ my guide told me. ‘To him, we are like the mist on the sea. Don’t fret. I have brought you here so you may know he still lives. The journey you will make is necessary.’ Then once again we were surrounded by the rainbow light until I stood in my own home. My mother was nursing my new brother and my father was hurrying towards her with his arms outstretched.”

Emer felt the tears running down her cheeks. She had so wanted to be there too in reality
, rather than as a spectator. She dashed the drops away angrily.

“We did not stay long
and I was whirled away. Then I was standing on a beach, for I could hear the sound of the waves breaking on the shore. It was the early spring; the sun was shining and a few tiny flowers grew in the grass.” She turned to face Hari. “You stood next to me, I was wearing a silver crown and we both held swords in our hands. Then we exchanged the swords. You held your new sword out to me with a finger ring on the hilt and I did the same.”

Hari’s breath
whistled through his teeth.

“So…” Atli said. “Continue.
Was there any more?”

She sighed. “
The scene changed for the last time. I was back again in the green hills where I had met my guide. ‘Where are we now?’ I asked him. ‘This is the place where your family comes from, the land of Lir. I was born here and so was your mother. Niamh has described it to you, I know. Don’t you recognise it?’‘Perhaps.’ Truly it did not look at all like my mother’s description. ‘Why have you brought me here?’ I asked. ‘To show you the place of your ancestors where our magic began. Watch.’ I looked hard at him as he changed before my eyes. His white hair became black flecked with grey, he stood proud and tall with a great sword strapped to his waist. His dog changed too. No longer gaunt, it frolicked around us with the litheness of youth. Then something clicked in my mind and I remembered my mother’s tales. ‘Are you my grandfather, Manannan McLir?’ I asked him. He took me in his arms and kissed me, but his touch was icy, as if I had stepped into a frozen pool. Then he said, ‘Shea and I roam these hills now, with the other spirits. Tell your mother and also Renny, the Red Lady. I have always loved them and I always will.’ A woman appeared and came towards us, her hair golden and tied with flowers made of gold. She was laughing. She touched my hair and Grandfather said, ‘This is Emer, for whom you are named. You and your mother have inherited her golden hair.’ Then the vision faded and I was back here with you.”

“
I see. So that was all? You’re sure?” Atli looked at her closely and Emer found it hard to meet his eyes, but she forced herself to do so. “Why did you scream?”

“I
am sure and I don’t know why I screamed.” Emer covered her eyes and shook her head, trying to rid herself of that other vision which she must not tell them.

“
Come then.” Atli held out his hand to her and raised her to her feet. “You will need to sleep properly now and recover.”

“I
’ll take her back to the other women,
Fadir
,” Hari spoke for the first time and Emer looked at him in surprise. She had hardly noticed him and wondered at this sudden gesture. She let him lead her out of the hut, but she staggered as the cold breeze blew onto her face. Hari put his arm around her, steadied her but also stopping her from moving away from his side. They walked in the direction of the longhouse. Just before they reached the doorway, he drew her aside.

“Do you truly believe
these things will happen?” he hissed.

“I do
.”

“You know what it means
— that exchange of swords and rings, don’t you?”

“I have never seen it
before, only heard it described. It’s part of the wedding ceremony, isn’t it?”

“Yes. So the next time you come out of a trance, be very sure
to tell my father that we did not wed. For, by the gods, I will do my best to make certain that we do not!” He stamped away and Emer was left, clutching her cloak around her, staring after him in sudden fright.

7

“We leave on tomorrow’s tide,” Atli told Emer, many days later. The weather had been stormy, as the solstice approached, but it showed signs of clearing at last. “We will sail for the
Landnám
islands as I promised you.”

“Thank you.”

“Go to Kolla, she will see you are suitably clothed for the journey, as the future wife of my son.”

In spite of her fear and apprehension, Emer enjoyed the experience of wearing different clothing. The
y were not new, but they were clean and warm and serviceable. Far better than the ones she had arrived in and finer even than those she had left at home, for her father was not a rich man. Kolla found her a long-sleeved, full-length tunic, a gown of green, embroidered in an orange thread and a coat pinned together with a metal brooch. She was given mittens and several hoods of linen, wool and fur. Emer plaited her hair and Kolla tied a fabric band around her head, to hold the square linen hood in place. 

“There, that is good,” Kolla said when she had finished.

“You look like an elegant lady,” Freydis said, with a grin. “Much better than when you arrived here.”

Emer laughed. “I looked like a scarecrow then, didn’t I
? I left some nice garments back in my home, but I ran out of the door without any of them, not even shoes or a cloak.”

“Perhaps you can get them back one day.”

“Perhaps.” Emer knew she sounded wistful. It was not the clothes she missed but her family and friends. “I certainly feel warm,” Emer said, changing the subject.

“In here, yes, but you won’t out on the sea. Take these with you.” Kolla gave her a
heavy woollen blanket, one of fur and another made of cloth that had been tarred.

“You will still get wet
, but these will protect you from the worst of the weather. It will be very cold though, so you will need all the protection you can.”

“Thank you for your kindness.”

Kolla smiled, “Not kindness, but orders and common sense. Do what you are told on board ship and you’ll manage. It’s unusual for any of our ships to venture so far out in winter, although it does happen. It’s not a pleasant journey although sometimes, when the wind drops and the clouds roll back, the sky is beautiful. Ice blue in daylight and at night the
nordrljos
dances like spirits in the air.
” She sighed.

“You
’ve been there then?” Emer asked in awe, looking at the older woman.

“Several times
, when I was young. Knut was a traveller, not a shipwright at that time. I did not look after Atli’s household for my mother was still alive. I will never see the northern seas again but there is splendour out on the ocean, where the stars spit living fire.”

“Do you wish you could
come with us?”

Kolla laughed. “I’m far too old now and my blood would
curdle in the cold. Those days are past for me but it is true I envy you. Knut’s ships were always well made but they were small and often uncomfortable. Rolf’s ship is stout and he is an excellent sailor. He has made several such journeys before.”

“I was surprised when
Rolf agreed to go after the storm we’ve just had,” Freydis murmured.

“And I, but the soothsayers say the weather
should stay fair enough, with a steady wind and dry. They think you will be able to return before the next storms are upon us. Atli told me to prepare your wedding festivities while you are gone, so make sure you come back in one piece to enjoy them.” She smiled and left Emer and Freydis packing the clothes and blankets into a small tarred chest.

That night, Emer found it
as hard to sleep as she had when she set out on her first journey. The hours seemed never ending, but they passed at last. In the grey dawn, Emer climbed into the largest trading ship she had ever seen. As Kolla had said, it was sturdily built. For all that, it was speedy enough. It flew down the inlet and turned north-west, pointing its prow towards the endless ocean.

Emer sat in the small shelter that had been made for her. Atli,
Rolf and Hari were busy about the boat and she was alone. In daylight, things seemed less frightening and her mind leaped back unerringly to the other part of her dream. Her grandfather had warned her not to tell this to anyone. She let her mind wander, trying to remember the details that had frightened her so.

She
had been taken to a beach, just as darkness was beginning to fall. A ship lay ready, stripped of any goods and with wood piled upon it. A man’s body rested on a bier on top of the woodpile, his shield and weapons lying on his breast, covering him. The night wind stirred his hair but he made no other movement and she knew that he was dead. When she looked more closely she recognised Atli. There was no mistake, although all the lines had been smoothed from his face and he seemed much younger. At first she stood beside the boat, standing on the water and then suddenly she was on the deck itself. She walked towards Atli, touching his face and whispering goodbye. Then she heard a slight scuffle in the bows. Curious she went forward and her heart pounded in horror. Another figure huddled there, bound and gagged but undoubtedly still alive. He had shuffled his feet, which had attracted her. She recognised him at once — Hari. His dark eyes looked at her with a mute appeal and great fear. She tried to walk over to him but every time she did so, she found she had not moved.

Her grandfather had told her that she had
a choice to make before she could go to him. He was showing her what she had to do when the time came. If she chose to leave him on the ship, he would die in the flames. If she released him, they would have to flee from
Skuy
. She would be the one to decide. Then the boat started to rock back and forth, as men loosed the sail and pushed it out to sea. Emer and her guide watched it glide out into the bay.

“
I see a darkness in the water, where the ship will pass,” Emer said.

“
Again I show you something you should know. If you choose to act, wait out on the waters and climb aboard the ship as it passes. Then you may free the young man and escape together.”

“And if I do not?
”

“
Watch.”

B
lazing arrows flew out into the darkness and set the sails of the ship on fire. Then the current whirled it away and it headed towards the sunset, but not before one single terrified scream rent the air. A man’s figure stumbled over the bows and he fell into the sea.

Emer
felt sick, the same feeling that she had when she had first dreamed it.

“
When will this happen?” she had asked her guide.

“
Soon.”

“
How did Atli die?”

“
No one will ever discover the truth about that, but no mark was found upon his body. You’ve little time to make your decision. These sights are for your eyes only and you must not tell anyone about them. Keep silence and you have the chance to avert what is coming, if that is your wish. Disaster would follow, both for you and for those who listen to you, if you speak. You would provoke the wrath of the gods, for not everything is meant to be averted.”

That
memory remained with Emer throughout the days and nights that it took them to reach the
Landnám
islands. The soothsayers had been right and the weather stayed fair. The great sail drove them steadily northward, league after league, never forcing them to change course. The air got colder and Emer was grateful for Kola’s thoughtfulness whenever she snuggled her blankets around her. Light snow fell from time to time but no rain and the high sides of the ship gave protection from the spray. Emer remained in her shelter, doing the chores she was given and then retreating again into her thoughts and her hopes to find her father.

At
li came often to talk with her and was, in some sort of way, a distraction. She made herself ask him about life on
Skuy
, the boatbuilding and the trading. She learned that he was a very rich man. He owned several vessels sailing as far away as the icy peninsula in the north and the warmer shores far to the south. He told her a little of the peoples of those places.

“One day I will take you there,” he
promised.

“I would like that very much
.” She forced herself to say, despite the knowledge that he would not be able to do so.

One day she became bolder and asked him,

“Why do you want to know about the future?”

“Doesn’t everybody?” he answered.

“I suppose so, but not everyone would believe the word of a stranger, act on it or plan to marry the dreamer into his family.”

Atli laughed. “I have my reasons,” he said. “I will keep my part of the bargain and you keep yours.”

Hari never came anywhere near Emer. He spent his time with one of the crew, old Tanni, who was wise in the way of the sea. Whenever she walked past them, Emer could hear that their talk concerned seafaring. Tanni was teaching Hari how to foretell the weather, how to find out where the boat was heading by using the stars or the signs of underwater shoals. She would have liked to join them, for she was curious about such things, but, if she passed close to them, Hari frowned and gestured her away impatiently.

A few nights later, as Kolla had
described, the dancers in the sky, the
nordrljos,
appeared. Great veils of green and white light sparkled in the darkness, changing colour even as Emer watched. She hung onto the gunwale, trying to keep her balance while she looked up, totally entranced by the spectacle.

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” A voice said softly beside her, an unexpected voice. She glanced behind her. The strange light rippled over Hari’s rapt face and he seemed to be speaking to himself more than her. “In them we see the true wonder of God.”

“Yes, they’re beautiful,” Emer replied. “I have never seen anything like them before.”

“They only appear in the far north. There is nothing like them anywhere else. When I first saw them, I was afraid, but
Fadir
told me the spirits would not harm me and I should just watch while they danced for me. I was very little then.
Fadir
had taken
Modir
and me on one of his journeys. They held my hands and we stood on the prow, watching. It is the earliest memory I have and I have never forgotten.”

Emer said nothing but slipped her own hand into his. He stiffened at her touch and she thought for a moment that he would fling her hand away but he did not. Slowly his fingers curled round hers
; a tiny warmth in the piercing cold. They stood like this together until the dancers went away. Then gently he withdrew his hand and walked away in the darkness.

Unlike Hari,
Rolf hardly left her alone. He was nearby, talking, helping her with her tasks, making her laugh. Emer would have been totally entranced by him, if she had not seen him glance constantly at his brother whenever he was with her. Sadly, she realised that Rolf was more interested in annoying Hari than in flirting with her. Atli had been right and she began to pity Brina. There was no way to avoid Rolf and he did make the long hours shorter. So she sat with him and listened to his tales and laughed in the right places. They talked about his journeys, for he had constantly travelled since he was a young boy. Some of them seemed too fabulous to believe, but she pretended that she did. One day she asked him about Brina.

“I found her in
Iraland,
her and her sister, a few summers ago,” he replied. “They were girls then and pretty enough so I bought them both. Gisli paid me a good price for Dairinn. He eventually wed her, more fool him, though she’s given him a brace of fine sons. They say she rules him. If I were him, I’d take a stick to her bum. I should never have kept Brina. She warms my bed, but she never stops talking and asking me for things. Time for her to be with another man.”

Emer chilled when she heard his words and worse was to come. He moved closer to her and put his arm around her shoulder, holding her tightly.

“Now you, on the other hand,” he whispered, “you have more to offer a man than just a pretty face. You’re interesting and you have this special gift which
Fadir
craves and which he tells me will increase our fortune…”

Emer twisted around so she could see into his face. “Do
you
crave it, too?”

He smiled. “Let
’s say that it is not the ability that intrigues me but the person who has it.”

He pulled her head towards him and kissed her. For a moment,
Emer started to respond. She had imagined Rolf kissing her when she first came to
Skuy
. She wondered how his lips would taste. Now she knew and it was not the delight she thought it would be. He clamped her face to his and forced his tongue into her mouth. Emer choked. Suddenly her temper boiled up and she bit the tip of his tongue. Rolf slammed her away from him, so she fell full length on the deck. He grabbed her, hauled her to her feet and put his hands on her throat, squeezing hard, forgetting in his anger who and what she was.