Emily's Daughter (18 page)

Jackson glanced at Emily and she shook her head, then he stared into the dark eyes of his daughter. Becca also
shook her head, but Jackson hardly noticed. This was his
daughter.
He had guessed it when he’d seen the documents. He had hoped it when he’d danced with her. And he’d grieved for her on the beach, when he thought he’d lost her. But this was the first time he allowed himself to feel the joy of knowing she was really his.

As if sensing his thoughts, Becca asked, “Are you truly my father?”

Jackson swallowed and admitted in an unsteady voice, “Yes…yes, I am.”

“I don’t even know you.”

Jackson gently touched her soft cheek. “But you will,” he promised.

Emily rested her wet head on Jackson’s shoulder, and the three of them sat there savoring this moment and feeling a connection that had always been there but was now brought to light, no longer hidden from them.

“Does anyone need medical attention?” the man called again.

Jackson smiled slightly. “I think he’s trying to get our attention.” He looked over his shoulder. “We’re fine,” he called, then turned back to them. “We’d better go. They’re getting antsy.”

But they didn’t move, each reluctant to end this time, this first time, that they were together as a family. Slowly Jackson got to his feet and offered a hand to each of them. Becca jumped right up, but Emily staggered for a second.

“Are you okay?” Jackson asked anxiously.

“I’m just sore, that’s all,” she said. The hip she’d fallen on when she’d jetted into shore was probably bruised, but the pain was nothing compared to the joy unfurling in her heart.

As they walked toward the boat, Emily wished that joy would last forever, but she knew they had a lot to resolve
in the days ahead. She had to talk to Rose and learn how she’d accomplished the whole thing. Emily wasn’t sure how she felt about it…that would come later. And Becca—she had to ask her forgiveness and prayed they could build a future stronger and better than the past…with Jackson. Somehow they had to pull their lives together and survive this nightmare.

The men hooked Owen’s boat to the bigger boat, so they could carry it back to the docks. Emily knew her father wouldn’t be too pleased about losing his other boat, although the men assured her they would search for it and bring it back. In all likelihood it would be unsalvageable. That didn’t worry Emily at the moment; she couldn’t dredge up any concern for her parents’ feelings. However, she had no intention of letting bitterness and anger control their lives. She had Becca to think about. She had waited eighteen years to have her daughter and nothing would destroy that relationship. It was a vow she made to herself.

They sat together in the boat as they sailed toward home. They were wet, dirty and tired, yet complete in a way Emily couldn’t explain. She would remember this for the rest of her life. It was crazy, but she felt as if she’d just given birth to Becca and they were taking her home to a new beginning…a new life.

W
HEN THEY REACHED THE DOCKS
, they thanked the Coast Guard officers and headed for the house. Jackson drove Becca’s car to safety, and Emily and Becca walked arm in arm. As they entered the house the silence became strained and awkward.

They stood, irresolute, in the kitchen, and Emily finally spoke. “Well, I think the first order of business is to get cleaned up.”

“Yeah.” Becca frowned at her wet and dirty dress.
“My beautiful prom dress is ruined. Everything’s ruined,” she muttered hurtfully.

“Becca—”

“If you don’t mind,” Becca interrupted. “I’ll take the bathroom first.”

“No, go ahead,” Emily said, and watched with a heavy heart as Becca disappeared down the hall.

Jackson gathered Emily into his arms and held her tight. She rested heavily against him, needing his warmth and comfort more than she’d ever needed anything.

“Becca is our daughter,” she murmured into his chest. “I keep saying that to myself over and over, and it makes me scared…so scared.”

He pulled back to look into her eyes. “Why? Why does it do that?”

“Because Becca and I have this great relationship as sisters, but now that’s going to change. I hope it’s for the better, but I have this uneasy feeling.”

“Yes, things are going to change and
together
we’ll make it better.”

“Oh, Jackson.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Right now I’m somewhere out in limbo and I hardly know what I’m feeling, but I just can’t imagine… I can’t even fathom why my mother would do this to me. She knew how much I wanted to keep my baby and then to…” She couldn’t go on as overpowering emotions threatened her composure.

He kissed the side of her face. “We’ll talk to your mother, find out all the details. Then we’ll plan a future as a family—that’s what I want most of all.”

Emily grew stiff in his arms and fear tugged at his heart. “We have to take it slow,” she said, taking a step back. He felt empty and lost and he couldn’t explain it, but he sensed Emily distancing herself from him. That was stupid,
he told himself. Emotions were running high and he was just misreading the signals.

But her next words didn’t ease the feeling. “This is going to be very hard on Becca. I need some time with her so we can adjust to the new situation.”

Jackson didn’t miss that she’d left him out of this “situation” and he wondered if she had any plans for him in her future.

Before he could ask, Becca came into the kitchen wearing a bathrobe. “Your turn, Em,” she said, then walked to her room without even glancing at him. The emptiness grew.

“I’ll go to the hotel and change,” Jackson said before his fears could completely defeat him. “I’ll be back soon, and we can all go talk to your mother.” With that, he walked to the door, not giving her a chance to object. He
had
to be part of their lives. God, he hoped she felt the same way.

E
MILY DIDN’T HAVE
an opportunity to talk to Becca before Jackson was back. She was worried because Becca was acting sullen and defiant, so unlike herself. On the drive to the hospital she was quiet and that bothered Emily, too. Becca was always talking about anything and everything, but now she didn’t have a word to say. The traumatic revelation had affected them all and she hoped Jackson wasn’t going to rush things. She had to make him see that they had to move slowly.

When they arrived at the hospital, she didn’t have time for further introspection. Outside the room Becca held back.

“I don’t see why I have to be here,” she said in a petulant voice.

Emily put an arm around her shoulders. Becca had on jeans and a T-shirt and hadn’t bothered to even brush her hair. It hung in disarray down her back. She looked like a bad-tempered little girl who couldn’t get her way.

“I told you I’d never make you do anything you didn’t want to,” Emily said softly, and Jackson admired her control and compassion. “So if you’d rather not be here, you don’t have to, but I thought you’d like to hear how our lives got so messed up.” Becca didn’t respond, so she went on. “We have to find a bridge from the past to the future, and we have to do that without resentment and anger. It’s hard, I know, because I personally want to break
something, but for our family’s sake I have to be strong and forgiving. That’s the only way we can survive.”

Becca shuffled her feet. “Okay, but I’m not talking to her.”

Emily glanced at Jackson and she was glad he was letting her handle this. She knew it was taking all his restraint not to say something. “Fine,” she answered. “You do whatever you feel is right for you.”

Emily took a deep breath and they entered the room. Owen jumped up. “Thank God, you’re okay. We were so worried with the storm and all.” His eyes settled on Becca. “Are you okay, Rebecca?”

“I’m fine. I’m just great,” she flung out, in that sullen voice she’d assumed. “I just discovered my mother is really my grandmother and my sister is really my mother. On a scale of one to ten, I’m hanging in at zero.”

Jackson could see his daughter was about to fall apart. He’d thought she had her emotions under control, but clearly she didn’t. He suddenly saw what Emily was talking about. They couldn’t rush her. She was already overwhelmed. He felt selfish because he’d been thinking about himself,
his
feelings and a future she wasn’t ready for. Instead, he had to be a father now—a real father—and help his daughter.

He reached down and took her hand. It trembled like a lost leaf in the wind in his. He was prepared for her to jerk or pull away, but she didn’t. She seemed to need his strength and that gave him a good feeling. He led her to the chairs not far from the bed. He sat and she eased down beside him.

Emily saw that Jackson was managing Becca and she felt amazed at how naturally the girl responded to him. But then, he was her father and…

She couldn’t think about that just now. She had to con
centrate on her mother and finding out the truth. Walking to her bedside, she tried to find the right words, but decided there were no right words. “Why did you take my baby?” came out of its own accord.

Rose pleated the top of her sheet with nervous fingers. “I told you to leave it alone, Emily Ann. Why couldn’t you do that?”

Emily bit her tongue and knew Rose wasn’t going to make this easy. “Because I lost my child, a part of myself, and I could
never
leave that alone. It was always there in my heart, an ache, a pain that wouldn’t go away. I needed to know if she was happy, healthy, and most of all I had to see her face.”

Rose didn’t say a word or look up. She kept twisting the sheet.

“Tell me why you decided to take my baby,” Emily said again.

Still Rose didn’t respond. Owen, who was standing on the other side of the bed, touched Rose’s shoulder. “Stop being so proud and stubborn, and tell her what happened.”

Tears fell down Rose’s cheeks and she slowly began to speak. “When I was forty and I first discovered I was pregnant, I was angry. I didn’t want another child. I had a grown daughter and the thought of raising a baby at my age was ludicrous. But I couldn’t escape the truth. When you found out, you became rebellious and I hated the baby even more. My perfect daughter was someone I didn’t know. You wouldn’t listen to me anymore and when
he
came on the scene, everything went from bad to worse. I knew you were sleeping with him and I was powerless to stop it.” She paused. “When he left, I was relieved and I hoped we could get our lives back to normal. But I started having problems with my pregnancy and I thought God was punishing me for not wanting the baby. Then I real
ized
you
were pregnant and I was filled with rage. I didn’t want what had happened to me to happen to you. I’d raised you differently.”

Emily frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“When I was seventeen, I got pregnant in high school, just like you did, and the boy wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. I didn’t know what to do. Owen and I were good friends and when I told him, he offered to marry me.”

A gasp left Emily’s lips. Did that mean— Oh, God, she couldn’t take a shocking revelation like that on top of everything else.

Rose sensed her trepidation. “Don’t worry, Emily Ann, Owen is your father. My little boy was stillborn. You were born several years later.”

Emily let out a sigh of relief and suddenly realized what Becca was going through. Finding out you’re not the person you thought you were could be devastating. She would talk to Becca about that later. Now she focused on her mother’s words. “I insisted you give the baby up for adoption because you had this brilliant future ahead of you and I didn’t want you to lose that. Ever since you were a little girl, you wanted to be a doctor, and I knew if you had the baby, your dreams would be ruined. And I was angry with you for being as stupid as I was. Maybe I wanted to punish you. I’m not sure. All I know is that I thought I was doing the best thing for you.”

Emily tried to understand, but she couldn’t. Nothing was making sense to her. “Why did you decide to raise my baby when you told me repeatedly that you couldn’t?”

Rose resumed making tucks in the sheet. “When my baby died, I was severely depressed. As much as I didn’t want her at first, in the end I wanted her with all my heart. I kept thinking it was my punishment for being selfish and
I just couldn’t deal with her death. I never told anyone she died. I came home a week after she was born and every day I’d go to the hospital to see her. I continued to do that after her death. Instead of going to the hospital, I went to the cemetery. Since she was born in a big hospital in Corpus, no one in Rockport knew my secret. Owen said I was having a nervous breakdown and I probably was. I kept pretending she was alive, and as the birth of your baby grew near, I suddenly realized that she
could
be. I’d lost my child, but I wasn’t going to lose my granddaughter. I called the adoption agency and canceled everything. Then when my aunt called and said you were in labor, we went to San Antonio. Your father took care of you and I took care of the baby. She looked so much like my Rebecca that I named her Rebecca, too. It was crazy, insane, I can see that now. But then…all I wanted was a baby.”

Emily put a hand to her throbbing head. “I don’t understand why no one at the hospital knew the adoption was canceled. The nurse who was with me during delivery knew nothing about it. She even talked about how I was doing the right thing.”

“She didn’t know because I didn’t tell hospital personnel until after you delivered. I just told them there wouldn’t be an adoption…that we’d be taking the baby home.”

“You were there when my baby was born?” Emily asked in a pained voice, even though she knew the answer. At the time she’d felt so alone and her parents were there all along, waiting to snatch her baby.

“Yes, I was the first one to hold her. The day you were released, I stayed in the nursery and filled out forms while Owen took care of you. I was afraid one of the nurses might say something as you were leaving, but everything went smoothly. After Owen left you at my aunt’s, we took the baby and came back to Rockport. Once we got home,
I felt I’d done the right thing. She was so much like my Rebecca.”

Becca made an agitated movement. Jackson wished he could make all this go away for her and Emily, but he couldn’t and he felt so helpless and angry. Angry at what this woman had done to their lives.

“But she wasn’t your Rebecca. She was mine,” Emily cried from the deepest part of her soul. “You knew how much I wanted to keep her. Why didn’t you tell me? Why?”

Rose raised her eyes to Emily. “Owen wanted me to, but if I’d done that, you would’ve forgotten about your dream of being a doctor.”

“You could’ve taken care of her while I went to school,” Emily said.

“You went to school in Austin, and if I’d told you, you would’ve taken the baby from me. At the time, I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t. I was too depressed. Rebecca was the only thing that saved me.”

Emily had a hard time grasping how her mother had accomplished all this. “Didn’t you need Rebecca’s birth certificate for school and things?”

“I used my Rebecca’s,” she murmured.

“So you kept it a secret all these years and you never felt the need to tell me. Even when I was going through hell, you did nothing to help me. How can you justify that?”

“I can’t, but I could see how happy and healthy Rebecca was and how successfully your career had developed. I knew I’d done the right thing for all of us, and it was—until now. If you’d just left everything alone, no one would ever have known.”

“I had a right to know,” Emily said in a burst of anger.
“I had a right to know my own child. Jackson had a right to know his daughter. You took that away from us.”

Rose brushed at her tears. “I hope you can find a way to forgive me.”

“No.” Emily raised one hand, suddenly rejecting the forgiveness she’d said they had to have. “Don’t ask me to forgive you. I’m so raw inside that every word hurts like hell. I’m not sure I’ll ever get past that.” She turned and ran from the room.

Jackson immediately went after her. Becca followed.

“Rebecca,” Rose called, but Becca didn’t answer or go back.

Jackson caught Emily in the hall and held her. She trembled and he held her tighter. The truth was tearing them all apart, and Jackson had a hard time controlling his own emotions. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Becca standing there like a lost soul. Of the three of them, Becca was the most affected. He and Emily had made bad choices, bad decisions, and they had to live with that. But Becca was an innocent victim.

Jackson motioned to her and she walked over and he enclosed her in their embrace. As before, on the beach, they held each other.

Finally Jackson said, half humorously, “Ready to go, ladies?”

The drive to the Cooper house was again made in silence. When they reached the house and Becca had gone inside, Emily caught Jackson’s arm. “I need this time with Becca…alone. I have to talk to her.”

There was that word again,
alone,
and he was beginning to hate it.

“Don’t push me away, Emily.”

“Jackson, please,” she begged. “I’m not doing that.
Becca is filled with so much anger that she’s about to explode. I have to help her through this.”

His eyes narrowed. “You don’t think I can?”

She licked dry lips. “She hardly knows you. I’ve known her all her life, and I know her inside and out. Please understand. We have to do what’s best for Becca.”

“She needs both of us,” he said in a patient voice, trying not to feel hurt, trying to understand.

She rubbed his face with the back of her hand. At her loving touch, he knew he’d do what she asked. He wanted them to be together, but he was realistic enough to acknowledge that it wasn’t going to happen quickly or easily. Just wanting something didn’t ensure that it would come about.

“Yes, she does,” Emily murmured. “But as I said before, we have to go slow and I desperately need to explain my part in all this. I need her forgiveness.”

Her voiced quavered and he gathered her close and kissed her. “You have tonight,” he whispered against her lips.

“Thank you,” she whispered back.

He got into the car and drove away. She watched until he was out of sight then went inside to talk to Becca.

She wasn’t in the living room. Emily found her in the bedroom, sprawled across the bed sound asleep. It had been a long, trying day and Becca was completely exhausted. Emily quietly closed the door and walked into the living room and curled up on the sofa. She couldn’t sleep. Instead, she got out the photo albums and looked through them. She had a need to see her child. There was Becca lying in a crib and Emily couldn’t take her eyes off the small baby. She remembered the first time she’d held her, and how right it had felt. She’d thought it was because she’d given away her own child that she’d experienced
such closeness, but it was so much more. She turned the pages, seeing Becca as a toddler, as a little girl, as a teenager and a young woman. A sob burned her throat and she held the pictures to her chest as if to absorb them. She didn’t have to, though—she’d been there, through all those years. Yet everything had changed. It was so different now.

Because Becca was her daughter.

This baby, the precious baby with the big brown eyes, was hers. Jackson had to see these, she decided, and began to take favorite ones out of the album for him to keep. She knew he’d want them. With the pictures around her, she felt her eyelids begin to droop. The day had taken its toll on her, too, and within minutes she drifted off to sleep.

O
N THE WAY TO HIS HOTEL
room, Jackson realized he was hungry. He started to go back, to see if Emily and Becca wanted something to eat. They hadn’t eaten a thing all day, but he knew they could manage on their own. He wouldn’t interrupt them. He picked up some fast food and took it to his room.

After eating, he was restless. He wanted to be with them, but he had to respect Emily’s wishes. He hadn’t talked to his father in two days, so he called. He had to explain what had happened. When he’d begun the search for their daughter, he’d never imagined she’d be so close, and he knew Emily hadn’t, either. They were still reeling from the impact. He hoped he could make his dad understand that.