Empty Promises (The Promises Series Book 3) (15 page)

“Why?”

It’s not like it has anything that radical on it, so I’m not sure what it is that’s playing on his concentration. He turns so he’s facing me and drops my hand. I’m disappointed by the loss, even though I know I shouldn’t be. I turn so I can look at him, too. I feel self-conscious, knowing that he’s staring at me.

“You’ve never been in love,” he states. His words sit heavily on my chest.

I look down from his eyes; they look sorry, and I'm not sure if it makes me feel embarrassed or pitiful, but either way, I suddenly feel childish. “I’ve been in lust,” I huff out defensively. “But no, you’re right. I’ve never been in love. That doesn’t mean I haven’t known love, though,” I offer. “I love my family, Blair, my friends … and I know they all love me.”

“It’s not the same, though,” he whispers and a wave of grief races down my spine. “I don’t want you to die not knowing what it’s like.” His words are like a thousand tiny needles pricking at my skin.

“I don’t either.” It’s one of my biggest fears. My eyes begin to well, and the back of my throat abruptly begins to tighten and hurt from holding back a sob fighting to escape.

“So let me show you?” I feel a tear leak as I narrow my eyes in confusion.

“What?”

“Let me show you. Let me make you fall in love with me.”

My tears hit full force and I'm not sure if I’ll be able to make them stop. He crushes my body against his in a tight embrace and I cry a silent torrent of tears into his shirt while he holds me wordlessly.

I’ve exhausted myself by the time I pull away. He looks down at me and I must look awful, but he’s considering me like I look anything but. His beautiful dark eyes are fixed on my own, and he’s breathing deeply. The fabric of his shirt has darkened where my tears have soaked through and it jolts my awareness of what’s just happened.

“I’m sorry, I don’t even know where that came from.” I feel like I need to apologize for having a meltdown, but stop when he shakes his head vehemently.

“Don’t. You’ve nothing to be sorry for. I didn’t mean to upset you. Shit, this played out so much better in my head. Look, Emily, I’m attracted to you, you must know that, and not just a little bit. You’re amazing, and if things were different, I’d take my time. I’d pursue you the way you deserve. I’d buy you flowers and bug you to date me. I’d spend time winning over your folks, and wearing you down until you had no other option but to fall for me. That’s not what’s in our cards, though, and I know it’s rushed, and I get it if you want me to back the fuck off. But I know I could love you so damn easily, Emily. It would be no effort at all. I want … fuck, I
need
you to let me try and win your heart because I’ve never met anyone who deserves to know what love is more than you.”

The butterflies are back, but I think they’ve invited a swarm of lightning bugs to join them. My insides feel alive with an electric current and I have absolutely no idea what to say. He’s watching me carefully, patiently waiting for me to do or say something, but what?

I lean forward, never breaking eye contact. This is the single most nervous I’ve ever felt, but it’s not a bad feeling. Just … terrifying. His eyes widen slightly as I move closer and closer. His tongue darts out, quickly wetting his lips, and my nose brushes against his. The contact ignites a blaze deep inside of me and for the first time in weeks, I'm actually too warm. My mouth lands slowly on top of his. He drags in an unsteady breath, and then begins moving his hands slowly up the back of my neck and cradles my head as he pulls me tighter to him. I’ve kissed a few guys before, but never like this, and I’m quickly realizing how amateur I must feel to him in contrast to how skilled, and frankly, fucking amazing he feels to me.

There's a groan and I don’t know if it’s his or mine, but I feel him smile through the kiss before his tongue invades my mouth. The coolness of his lip ring fights with the heat of his mouth and every coherent thought I have in my head begins to escape. We kiss until we’re both completely breathless, which happens way too fast for my liking. He pulls back and watches my reaction as our chests heave and our breathing starts to even out.

“Is that a yes?” He smiles.

I feel completely out of my depth, but I'm more sure about this than I’ve been about anything else in a long time. “If you think you can.” I smile coyly.

“Trust me, I
know
I can.” He flips me and pulls my back flush against his chest, snaking his arm gently over my stomach.

And that’s how we stay.

There's no more kissing, no awkwardness or silence that we feel the need to fill. We talk for hours under the stars until I finally fall asleep. And when I wake, I send a silent prayer of thanks that this wasn’t just a dream.

Lucas drops me home and I make it three feet into the house before Mom and Dad pounce on me. I tell them I had a nice evening, leaving out the part where the mysterious boy I barely know made it his mission to get me to fall in love with him. I’m sure they know something has happened because I can’t keep the silly grin off my face. Dad doesn’t know whether to smile or scowl at me, so I decide to square things up for him.

“Just so you guys know, when I left the house last night I was a virgin.”

Mom almost drops her coffee and Dad’s face is noticeably a few shades paler.

“I'm still one now, so you can relax.”

And with that I grin and head to my room. I can’t hear them talking, I think I’ve rendered them speechless with my little outburst. I know it will ease their minds, though.
When they can think straight again.

I take a two-hour bath to try and warm my body back up. I'm stiff from sleeping outside, even though Lucas’s mattress was pretty soft. I soak in the water until it makes my body wrinkle and then pull myself from the soothing hot water and wrap myself in my robe.

Blair is sitting on my bed when I walk into my room, and I let out a startled shriek. “Jesus, you scared the life out of me!” I laugh.

“Your mom said it was fine to come wait in here. Sorry, I should have called out so you knew I was in here.”

“It’s fine. My poor weak heart almost jumped out of my mouth though. So, whatcha up to?”

“Not much.” She shrugs. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages, even though I see you almost every day. I don’t know … I’m being stupid, I guess. I watched a film last night about a girl who was dying and her sister could maybe help her, but she didn’t want to put her through it. Honestly, it was the dumbest thing I‘ve ever done. I don’t know what possessed me, but I don’t think I’ve stopped crying for more than five minutes since.” Her eyes fill with tears as she’s telling me this. It’s so out of character for Blair; she’s one of the strongest people I know. I sit next to her and reach for her hand.

“I’m not ready for this, Em. It’s not fair, and I know I shouldn’t be saying this to you, of all people. But it’s gotten to the point where I have to say it. I love you, and I’m not ready. I wish I could do something. If I could give you my bone marrow or anything else that might give you more time, I would. I wouldn’t need to think twice about it; I’d do it in an instant.”

“I know, Blair, I love you too. And you know what?”

“What?” she asks shakily.

“I’m banning you from any and all cancer-related films from this point forward. You’re the ugliest crier I’ve ever met.” She lets out a snort and there's snot and tears bubbling from her nose.

“Oh my god, gross!” I laugh and nudge her shoulder.

“You shouldn’t make me laugh while I cry. You know it’s never going to end well.” She walks over to my nightstand and grabs a tissue.

“Seriously, you okay now? Feel better for getting that off your chest?”

“The snot or the meltdown?”

“Eww. Both, I guess.” I shrug.

“Yep, I swear I won’t do that again. Damn you, Jodi Picoult!”

My phone beeps on my bed and I reach over, snatching it up before Blair sees Lucas’s name flash on the screen. I open up the message and wince at the size; it’s like a college dissertation.

From: Lucas

Hey! So, phase one. I saw this online, and it’s got to be worth a shot, right? Apparently, this study by a psychologist named Arthur Aron has been proven to make you fall in love by answering 36 questions. Grab some padding, sweetheart, because I’m gonna make you fall hard! Oh, and sorry, I know there's a shit load of them. Also, we need to stare at each other for a full 4 minutes silently at the end. Personally, I think we should do this ASAP. Just saying! ;)

I click on the file that’s attached to his message and begin to read.

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Hint, me!

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
I think we can skip this one! :/

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
Pay-per-view porn … Jokes!

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
I think we can skip this one too … Sorry!

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ...”

26. Complete this sentence: I wish I had someone with whom I could share ...
My smoking hot body, and I wish his name were Lucas Wade ;)

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life…
Apart from being sent a list of questions stolen from the Internet to make you fall in love with some dumbass that won’t leave you alone!

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

I’m giving you the heads up on these questions. Be ready to answer them tomorrow! I'm picking you up for date number three. That’s a reasonable amount of dates before falling in love right? ;) X

I’ve spent so long reading the text that when I look up I realize I’ve forgotten Blair’s here. She’s watching me intently and I feel like I’ve just been caught doing something really underhanded.

“What’s going on?” she asks, peering over my shoulder.

I clear the screen. “Nothing, just Lucas, texting me.” I smile.

“Lucas? Wait … Emo Hottie from the hospital Lucas?

I laugh. I'm not sure if Blair even understands what an emo is. “Dude, he’s not emo, but yeah, that Lucas.”

“Whatever, you know who I meant. So, how long has he been texting you?” She wiggles her eyebrows and I roll my eyes in response.