Enchanted Ecstasy (21 page)

"Maleaha, isn't that the little half-breed you were telling me about?" Eli said craning his neck trying to see what a half-breed looked like. "It's fortunate that Lucinda did not come with me as she wanted to. She would never stand for your meeting your trollop in such a public place."

Maleaha had never felt so degraded before. She tried to jerk free of Kane. All she wanted to do was run and hide in her shame.

"Maleaha, don't listen to my father," Kane said, tightening his grip on her wrist.

"Who should she listen to, Kane? You? Have you told her about all the women who have preceded her? How about the time you tried to juggle three mistresses at one time, until they found out about each other?"

Maleaha finally worked her hands free of Kane's grip and placed her hands over her ears, trying to shut out his father's hateful words. A loud sob escaped her lips and she was trembling violently. Tears of grief and humiliation blinded her eyes. Turning away she fled down the darkened path, hoping to escape before she broke down completely.

Maleaha could hear Kane running after her, calling her name, so she ducked behind a clump of bushes and watched as he passed within inches of her hiding place. After he had disappeared from sight she made her way out of the garden by a side gate. She saw Betsy and Bob standing beside Bob's carriage, so she ran toward them. When she reached Betsy, Maleaha grabbed her by the hand.

"Take me home," she sobbed. "Oh, please take me home!"

Betsy's arms went around her friend. "What has occurred, Maleaha?"

"I can't talk about it right now. Just get me out of here," she cried.

Bob and Betsy exchanged glances, then Bob helped both girls into his buggy.

"Wait!" Maleaha said when Bob started to climb into the buggy. "Clay will be concerned about me. Will you tell him that you are taking me home, Bob? Tell him I have a headache and I didn't want to spoil his evening."

Bob nodded and made his way back to the dance, saying he would not be very long.

Betsy looked at Maleaha with a troubled expression on her face. "Tell me what happened, Maleaha. Did something happen between you and Mr. Benedict?"

"Yes, but I cannot speak of it now. Perhaps later," Maleaha said covering her face with her hands. It would be good to confide in Betsy. Maleaha had kept everything all bottled up inside of her for so long. Betsy could help her decide what to do.

"You are coming home with me tonight, and I will not take no for an answer. We will drive by Deveraux and pick up your things," Betsy told her.

"Yes, I would like that, Betsy." Maleaha knew she didn't want to be alone. Kane might come by to see her. He was the last person she wanted to see. She never wanted to see him again.

Maleaha sank down in the feather mattress on Betsy's bed, while Betsy sat at her vanity brushing her hair. Leaning back on the bed, Maleaha closed her eyes. She didn't want to think about what had happened with Kane and his father tonight, but she had to. If only her father were home, he would know what to do. Maleaha felt Betsy sit down beside her and opened her eyes.

"Do you want to talk about what's bothering you now?" Betsy asked her. "I have known for some time something was bothering you, but until now you haven't wanted to talk about it."

Maleaha sat up and reached for Betsy's hand. "I have been living in a nightmare, Betsy. I don't know what to do anymore."

"Papa always said two heads are better than one, Maleaha. Let me help you. That's what best friends are for."

Maleaha cried as she told Betsy about Mangas and Kane. When she finished by telling her about what had happened with Kane and his father that night, Betsy was crying as well.

"You have to understand, Betsy. I felt married to Kane, but he made it clear that he was not married to me.

"Oh, he is such a beast. If I were a man I would beat him with my bare fists," Betsy said loyally.

"To be fair, Betsy, I am the one who forced myself on him."

"Yes, but he could have recognized the Jojoba wedding, or better still insisted on marrying you in a church."

"You are forgetting the woman Lucinda who waits for him in Boston. I suppose he loves her," Maleaha said, feeling fresh tears in her eyes.

' 'Well, I say you are lucky that he will soon be leaving, and good riddance."

"Betsy, there is more to it. I am going to have his baby." The room became silent and horror spread over Betsy's face.

"Oh, Maleaha, my dearest friend," Betsy cried. "Whatever shall we do?"

"I am not sure, Betsy. I don't know where to turn. I dreaded telling you, I was afraid what your reaction would be. You don't hate me, do you?"

"Hate you? What kind of a friend would I be if I turned my back on you just when you needed me most? I know what you will do. You can stay right here until your baby comes. You know Papa and Mama would want you to."

"That is so like you Betsy, but I could never do that. I have been thinking and I have decided what I must do. Every one thinks I am going to join my father. I will let them think I left early to join him, while in truth I will go to my Aunt Kosha until after the baby is born."

"But, Maleaha, have you forgotten about Mangas?"

"Mangas will not bother me now, you see, he believes me married to Kane."

"You can't go to the Jojoba village. You will need a doctor when your time comes."

Maleaha wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled. "The Jojoba have been having babies without a white doctor for many hundreds of years. I myself was born in the Jojoba village."

"If I were in your place, I would be terrified."

"I would be less than honest with you, Betsy, if I didn't admit that I also am frightened. I have no choice. I must go to my aunt."

"Do you suppose4hat Mr. Benedict would marry you if he knew you were going to have his baby?"

"I don't want him to ever find out. I hope by the time my baby is born he will have gone back to Boston. You are forgetting, he was married to me."

"Surely there is something I can do to help you, Maleaha. I feel so helpless."

"You can do me a favor of telling no one about this, not even your parents. Let everyone think that I have gone to join my father."

"I'll worry about you, Maleaha. How will I know if you are well?"

"I will have Lamas keep in touch with you. Do not worry, the Indian in me is a survivor, and the white in me no longer cares."

"Maleaha, do you hate Mr. Benedict?"

Maleaha was quiet for a moment, then she spoke. "No, I wish I did, it would make leaving so much easier. After all that has happened between us, I find I still love him."

It was a week later before Kane could gather up enough courage to ride to Deveraux Ranch to see Maleaha. After the night in the garden, he had told his father he never wanted to see him again, and Eli had finally returned to Boston.

As Kane rapped on the door he looked about him waiting for someone to answer. He noticed the leaves on the big cottonwood trees had turned a golden color. Fall was moving over the land, painting a colorful picture with nature's paintbrush. The past few days he had rehearsed over and over what he would say to Maleaha today: "Maleaha, I love you and I want you to be my wife." He hoped he wouldn't lose his nerve when he faced her.

The door opened and Margaretta smiled at him brightly. "Señor Benedict, I have been expecting you."

"Is Maleaha at home, Margaretta?"

"No, she has gone to be with her father. I think they will not return until the summer.''

Kane felt his heart plummet. It was a long time until summer.

"Did Maleaha leave any message for me, Margaretta?" he asked hopefully.

"
Si,
she said that you were to take Diablo if you came by."

Kane had forgotten all about the horse Jonas had given him. He thought about refusing, but then thought better of it. He would take the horse and keep it for Maleaha.

As Kane rode back to his ranch leading Diablo behind him, his head was full of plans. Perhaps it was best that Maleaha had gone to join her father. Now he would have more time to make the ranch ready for her.

As he rounded a bend in the road he noticed a buggy coming toward him. Pulling up his mount at the side of the road, he waited for it to pass. As it drew near he recognized Betsy Kincade.

Bringing her buggy to a stop, she frowned at him. "Mr. Benedict, I would have thought you had gone by now."

Kane heard her biting tone and smiled at her. "No, as you can see, I'm still here."

"I'm surprised you have the nerve to hang around, Mr. Benedict."

He laughed. "I see Maleaha has told you about me." "I'm in a bit of a hurry, good day, Mr. Benedict." "Wait, I want to ask you about Maleaha." "I have nothing to say to you about Maleaha." Betsy paused. She had never told an untruth in all her life. "Maleaha has gone to Europe to join her father," she said at last. She found she did not feel the least bit sinful for lying to him, in fact she had never known a lie could sound so convincing.

"Do you have an address where I can write her?" "No, and if I did, I wouldn't give it to you." "You don't like me very much do you, Miss Kincade?"

"I don't like you at all, Mr. Benedict," she said looking into his disturbing silver eyes. He was so handsome she could easily understand why Maleaha had fallen in love with such a man. "Please, just leave her in peace. If you have any human decency you will leave her alone." Betsy laid her whip to her horse, and the buggy jerked forward. She did not look back to see if Mr. Benedict was watching her. Her heart seemed to be thundering inside her. Even if Mr. Benedict was a cad, he had affected her in the most peculiar way. She thought of Bob and was glad she did not react to him in that way.

Kane stared at the buggy until it was out of sight. Hell and damnation, if he had any sense he would leave this land and never look back. How strange that he who had never let any woman get too close to him had fallen so hard for a half-wild little girl who would probably end up breaking his heart.

Kane spurred his horse forward. Diablo balked and reared on his hind legs and Kane yanked on the lead rope. "You are just like her, but I will tame you both before I am finished," he vowed.

16

A cold wind was blowing from the east as Maleaha wrapped the heavy blanket about her shoulders. She walked down to the river and stooped over, filling a jug with water. She had been at the Jojoba camp for over three months now, and she was still finding the Indian ways very hard to adapt to. Her aunt and the other Indian women worked very hard, while more often than not the Indian men would be off hunting to provide food for the tribe.

Maleaha and her aunt were growing closer as they got to know each other. Aunt Kosha had not hesitated to take her dead sister's daughter into her teepee, and she had been as loving and as kind as any mother would have been. Kosha understood better than anyone else why Maleaha had come to her, for she remembered what her own sister had suffered at the hands of the white race.

Maleaha was finding that all the Jojoba tribe were willing to take her in as one of their own. Her Uncle Ninah was a quiet man and hardly ever spoke to her directly, but he would often smile at her kindly, and he and her aunt would always offer Maleaha the biggest portion of meat, or the choicest tidbit.

As Maleaha grew bigger with Kane's child, she found it harder and harder to put him out of her mind. She knew he would have returned to Boston by now, but that did not stop her from loving him. With his child she would always have a small part of him with her.

She had written to her father telling him she would not be joining him, but she did not state why. Knowing him as she did, she knew that if he knew about the baby he would rush home to be with her. The one thing she dreaded the most was her father's finding out about Kane and herself. It had always been so important to him what people thought of her. How would he feel when he found out she was going to have a baby whose father would not recognize her as his wife, she wondered.

Mangas had been very kind to her, but for the most part had kept his distance. One day, however, as Maleaha lifted a heavy water jug to her shoulder as she had seen her aunt do and headed back to the village, she encountered Mangas and was surprised when he took the water jug from her.

"You should not be carrying anything so heavy, Little Flower. You are not accustomed to it."

She smiled at the tall, handsome chief. "It would not be wise for the people to see their chief doing woman's work."

He returned her smile. "I believe they might think it strange but I do not think they will say so to me."

"The weather is turning colder. I think it will snow soon."

"Yes, it will snow before the new moon." He stopped beside a huge rock and sat down. "Stay with me for a moment, Little Flower. I would like to talk to you."

Maleaha pulled the blanket tighter about her and sat down on the edge of the rock. "I have wondered why you had not asked to speak to me before now. I know you have wondered why I chose to come to my mother's people to have my baby."

"I have wondered, but it is not the Indian way to ask each other about personal things, and I will not do so now. I just want you to know I am your chief, and if you are troubled about anything you have the right to ask for council with me."

At that moment Maleaha knew a small part of her would always love this man who was chief of the Jojoba. He was the kind of man she could respect and look up to. She wished with all her heart she could love him as a man, and not only as a chief.

"I am grateful to you, Mangas, and if I ever feel the need, I will ask for your wise council."

He stood up and offered her his hand. Maleaha could plainly read the love in his eyes, and it tore at her heart to know she could never give him what he needed from her.

"Come, it grows colder and I do not want you to become ill."

After that day, Mangas did not seek Maleaha out again, and she knew he was waiting for her to come to him.

As winter advanced, Maleaha stayed pretty much in her aunt's teepee. She tried to present a happy face to those around her, but sometimes it was a real effort, for with each passing day she felt worse.

It was almost sundown, and she and her aunt and uncle had just finished eating, when Maleaha felt as if every thing was closing in on her. Standing up, she walked out into the fresh air. It had snowed earlier in the day, but the clouds had moved on leaving a brilliant blue sky. Looking toward Mangas's teepee she noticed he was sitting in front of it working on a buffalo hide.

She had been so much in her aunt's company lately, and Kosha had a tendency to fuss too much over her health. Maleaha knew her aunt was giving her all the love she would have given her own daughter had she lived, but sometimes she just needed to be left alone.

Mangas looked up as she approached, and he nodded. "It is well that you are out in the fresh air, Maleaha. Do not allow your aunt to overprotect you," he said as he moved over and indicated that she should sit beside him on the buffalo robe.

"How did you know?" she asked.

"I know of the love your aunt has for you. I think she is afraid you will break.''

Maleaha smiled. ' 'I love her so much and I am grateful to her for allowing me to stay with her.''

"There are many in the Jojoba tribe who love you, Little Flower. Do not forget that," he said without looking at her

"What are you doing?" she asked with interest, noticing he seemed to be working on a shield of some kind.

"I make the shield out of buffalo hide. Then it is coated with glue that is made from horses' hooves and hardened over a fire. When it dries it is very strong and nothing can penetrate it."

Maleaha watched as his hands expertly attached the buffalo hide to the frame made of bone. "What is it used for?"

"I will tell you, though it is a well-guarded secret. If I were facing an enemy I would hold the shield in front of me and gallop toward him. The enemy would fire at the shield, and before he could rearm I would dart in and strike with arrow and long spear.''

"Why do you make the weapons of war? Are you expecting trouble?"

"As chief of the Jojoba, I must always be prepared for whatever comes. I find I have lost my taste for war, but should it come we will be ready."

"Wars are so useless, Mangas. Sometimes after they are over, no one knows what they were all about."

"Someday the Jojoba will either have to fight the white man or leave this land. If we do choose to fight we will know what it is about. It will be to remain free."

"I hope it never comes to a fight. I would hate to see you lose. You cannot win against them, Mangas, they are too many."

"I have heard what the white men do to the tribes they defeat. The men are asked to cut their hair, and plant corn like a woman. Then they want them to forsake their way of life and live like the white man. I do not want this for my people."

"Nor do I, Mangas."

He stood up, and offering her his hand pulled her to her feet. "In the time of your grandfather life was good. Then came the white man, and with him he brought change and destruction. The buffalo have diminished in number, and the Indian goes hungry."

"I wish there was an easy answer, but I fear there is not. What do you think you will do?"

He smiled. "Would you like me to cut my hair and plant corn like a woman?"

"No, I would never want that, nor would I want to see the Jojoba be under the white man's thumb. I think my father will look after the Jojoba. He is a man of great influence in New Mexico. He would never stand idly by while the government pushed my mother's people aside."

"Your father cannot live forever, Little Flower."

"No, that is true, but when he is gone I will watch after my people, and then when I am gone, the child I carry will do the same."

Mangas pushed a dark strand of hair from Maleaha's face. "Perhaps in you, little princess, lies the salvation of the Jojoba people."

She touched his hand. "I pray it is so, Mangas."

"I think you have been too long in the cold, Maleaha. You should return to your aunt." He avoided looking into her eyes, and Maleaha knew he wanted her to leave.

"Don't love me, Mangas. I do not want to hurt you."

He looked at her for just a moment and she could read the sadness in his eyes. "Go now, the sun is setting, and with that come the cold winds."

She turned away, knowing she had hurt him once more and wishing it didn't have to be so.

As winter advanced it brought with it the heavy snows and cold winds blowing out of the north. The countryside was covered with a blanket of white. There was smoke coming from the many teepees and Maleaha spent most of her time inside her aunt's teepee. The Jojoba had moved twice since she had come to stay with them, always following the game in their never-ending quest for food.

It was late March and the winter had been cold and the snowfall unusually heavy, because they were at such a high elevation. Mangas had chosen a site deep inside the forest that afforded them some protection from the wind. Most of the younger men had ridden off two days before to find fresh game, and Maleaha knew they would not return until they found sufficient meat.

Maleaha placed her moccasined foot lightly on the slick ice-covered ground, fearing she might fall in her advanced, clumsy state of pregnancy.

She heard the sound of riders and knew the hunting party was returning. She saw Mangas dismount and he led his horse over to her with a smile on his face. They had not spoken to each other since the day in front of his teepee.

"You should not be out in such weather, Maleaha. It would not be well should you fall and injure the child you carry."

"You are beginning to sound like Aunt Kosha," she told him. He put his arm out for her to lean on, and she allowed him to lead her to her aunt's teepee.

"Are you feeling well?" he inquired.

"Yes, my health is very good."

Mangas seemed uneasy about something as he stopped in front of her aunt's abode, and Maleaha knew he had something on his mind. His dark eyes rested for a moment on the swell of her stomach, then he looked into her green eyes.

"Maleaha, I would not mind if you wanted to stay with us permanently."

"I do not know what the future holds for me, Man-gas. I suppose I am just waiting for my father to return."

"Let us speak of Kane. Do you love him?"

"Yes," she whispered avoiding his eyes, knowing what it had cost him to ask about her love for Kane. "I did not want to love him, but I could not help myself."

"Maleaha, love is not a choice one gets to make. It is something that happens whether you welcome it or not."

Maleaha nodded in agreement.

"I know it is not long until the child comes. If you will put your marriage to Kane aside, I would be a father to this child and a husband to you."

Maleaha knew that Mangas loved her and if she accepted his offer he would love her child as if it were his own, for she had often seen him with the children in the village. He was always kind and understanding with them, and they seemed to adore him.

"Mangas, it would be easy to say yes to you, but you need a wife who can give you love, and you should have your own children. I believe the woman you choose will be very fortunate."

"I see you are not ready to consider me as your husband. I will wait, you may change your mind."

"No, I will never change, Mangas. I have no love inside me to give to any man at the moment, and I do not want to be a wife."

"You are already a wife, and you will soon be a mother. The child will need a father."

Maleaha was feeling the cold through her buckskin dress, and she shivered as Mangas pushed her inside the teepee. "We will talk after your baby is born."

Maleaha watched as he disappeared. She then removed the blanket from around her shoulders and sat down beside her aunt feeling very miserable.

"I heard what Mangas was saying to you," her aunt told her. "He would make a good father for your baby."

"I know, my aunt, but I do not love Mangas as he deserves to be loved."

"Sometimes the love is all on one side," her aunt summed up wisely, and Maleaha nodded in agreement, knowing it was the case between herself and Kane.

"Your baby will be born soon, you are already carrying it low."

"I will be glad when it is over, I feel so tired lately."

'It is because you do not sleep, have I not heard you tossing on your robe at night, and have I not heard you crying when you thought me and your uncle to be sleeping?"

"I cannot seem to help myself. I feel so miserable, so useless."

Her aunt put a comforting arm about her. "You feel this way now, but when your baby comes you will know you are useful and needed. Her aunt stood up and led her over to her robe. "You should sleep now, you will need all your strength for the labor that is ahead of you."

Maleaha did not argue but allowed her aunt to draw the robe over her, and she turned her face to the wall. Her hands went automatically to her swollen stomach, and she could feel her baby moving inside of her as tears of self-pity stung her eyes.

She wondered not for the first time if Kane had returned to Boston with his father to the woman he was to marry. Most probably he had left long ago, and perhaps he was even married by now.