Authors: Katharine Kerr
she imagined the vine was making indecent advances, there can
be no doubt of what happened afterward. The signs of her mis-
hap are still there, clearly imprinted in the soft dirt, and she can
feel the grit inside her shoes. "Perhaps you can tell me just how
long it has been since my grandfather died and was buried here?"
Young Marten appears to make a quick mental calculation,
standing there with his hands in his pockets, the afternoon sun-
light bringing out all me colors of autumn in his russet hair.
"Must've been twenty, twenty-one years ago," he finally ven-
tures.
This takes Laurel completely by surprise. "Then why," she de-
mands indignantly, "has the earth on his grave been so recently
disturbed?"
Joss Marten shrugs a burly shoulder, and this time it is easy
for Laurel to identify the expression in his eyes: amusement,
tinged with insolence. "Not just the old man's grave," he says.
"You want to watch where you go, Miss Laurel. They do say the
land around here is unreliable, and you wouldn't be the first
pretty girl to get herself eaten alive."
Dinner is served that night, not in Mrs. Windboume's sitting
room, but in the dusty though still magnificent banquet hall on
the first floor. This is because, as the housekeeper informs Lau-
rel, her grandmother "took a bad turn" during her afternoon nap
and so feels inadequate to rise from her bed.
Determined not to pick up the manners of a rustic, no matter
how long she remains in the country, Laurel has dressed herself
in a shoulder-baring gown of black satin, fastened a cool string
MY SOUL INTO THE BOUGHS 141
of pearls around her neck. So now she dines in solitary splendor,
off cracked china plates weirdly painted with a pattern of
carnivorous-looking flowers and nervous butterflies. The food
tastes gritty and coarse, and the wine is flavored with berries,
leading Laurel to suspect that she is sharing the servants' dinner,
while Mrs. Windboume feasts royally on the floor above. Of
course, she realizes almost at once that the idea is unworthy and
immediately abandons it
Before she retires for the night, Laurel pays a visit to her
grandmother's bedchamber, where Mrs. Windboume—propped
up in bed by numerous pillows and bolsters—receives her in a
dingy nightgown and wrapper. In her decaying linens and laces,
with her white hair unpinned and frizzled around her face, the
old lady already looks like a ghost ... or a madwoman.
And the bedroom, like the sitting room, smells damp and un-
healthy. Laurel wishes she knew her grandmother well enough to
take charge and make some changes in the way the household is
run, but she is afraid to make any suggestions for fear the old
woman will take offense. She does, however, resolve to speak
with Mrs. Windboume's doctor at the first opportunity.
Gingerly taking a seat at the foot of the bed. Laurel listens po-
litely to her grandmother's account of her most recent symptoms:
shortness of breath, a sudden giddy sensation, a dull pain in one
side where the cancer is growing. For just a moment. Laurel ex-
periences a terrifying impression that she cannot breathe either,
that something is squeezing all the air out of her chest. But the
sensation passes quickly, leaving her shaken yet strangely moved
by this unexpected sympathetic reaction to her grandmother's
suffering. Perhaps I am learning to love her after all.
It is not, however, an experience she wants to repeat. To
change the subject, she mentions her visit to the graveyard. "And
I was nearly swallowed alive ... at least, that was how your sta-
bleboy described it. A horrid turn of phrase, and I think he was
positively enjoying my discomfort."
The old woman chuckles indulgently. "You must excuse poor
Joss. Being fatherless and of half-gypsy blood he could hardly be
expected to cultivate a polished manner, though he was raised
right here in the house- He is not, in fact, a stableboy, and his du-
ties more nearly approximate those of ... a gardener and game-
keeper."
Here Laurel decides that she does not want to know what her
grandmother means by "fatherless." So she asks instead about
142 Teresa Edgerton
the unstable ground down in the graveyard. "He said that the
land was unreliable. What could he possibly mean by that?"
Mrs. Windboume begins to fuss with the mildewed bed linens.
"I believe there are springs and underground streams that are
constantly changing course, under the property- What ancient sci-
entists and philosophers must have meant when they spoke of 'a
radical moisture.' But you needn't worry. Though the ground
does cave in from time to time, no one has actually been killed."
Now Laurel thinks she has learned something interesting about
her grandmother, from that phrase about radical moisture: the
old woman has been reading nasty old books on magic and al-
chemy, and mat would explain some of her more shocking state-
ments.
"I won't worry, then," Laurel answers coolly. "But there is
something else that puzzles me. Why did my grandfather change
his name from Perrin to Windboume?"
Her grandmother sighs and settles back against the pillows.
"Because the house and the land and all the other property be-
longed to me. The Windbourne inheritance always descends in
the female line. And because we could not marry unless he
agreed to take the family name and ... certain obligations ...
and pass them on to his own descendents." The old woman
smiles, faintly malicious, showing the green teeth. "The Perrin
family is nothing. Prosperous yeoman farmers with very little
breeding. But the moment I saw Nicholas—so stout and strong
and virile as he was—I knew he was the one for me. And as my
mother was dying at the time, and my father never could deny
me anything, I eventually got him."
"How very interesting," says Laurel, not sounding interested
at all. But in fact she is interested, though somewhat repulsed.
Because she suddenly realizes that she may be heir to all this
moldering grandeur ... as well as the unwomanly freedom and
independence that seem to be a part of the Windboume inheri-
tance,
In the morning. Laurel cannot remember her dreams, but she
carries a vague, uneasy presentiment through the rest of that day
and me days which follow. She is much occupied during that
time with nursing her grandmother, who has most decidedly
"taken a turn" for the worse.
Mrs. Windboume's pain is heart-wrenching. And there is re-
ally very little that Laurel can do for the dying woman—
certainly not anything that the housekeeper and the other
MY SOUL INTO THE BOUGHS 143
servants could not do as well. But her company seems to be par-
ticularly wanted, so Laurel spends practically every day from
first rising until bedtime at her grandmother's side.
Until one day when the walls of the house begin to feel too
close and confining, the sickly, oppressive atmosphere in her
grandmother's bedchamber becomes unbearable, and Laurel es-
capes for a walk in the fresh air. This time, however, she avoids
the graveyard, and follows a narrow path leading into the heart
of the forest.
The trees are ailing; there is no longer any question about that.
Though it is still early summer, the oaks and the elms have
dropped the last of their leaves, and the fragile skeletons crunch
under her feet as she walks. The birches have shed so much bark,
they look raw and vulnerable. And there is a faint odor of decay
that reminds Laurel of the sickroom.
The bushes to one side of the path rustle and stir, and Joss
Marten appears on the trail about five feet in front of her. Laurel
greets him with a catch of her breath, a faint tingling of
pleasure—after so many days with the invalid, she is irresistibly
drawn to his virile good looks.
But pleasure turns to irritation as he stares at her with dull
hostile eyes and growls, "Still here, are you?"
Laurel tosses her head. "And why shouldn't I be here, Josiah
Marten? I have been invited to stay for as long as I wish."
Joss shrugs a broad shoulder. What he has been doing off by
himself in the forest. Laurel does not like to guess. There are
clods of dirt adhering to his clothes, and fragments of leaves and
moss in his russet hair. He looks as though he has been burrow-
ing under the earth like a rabbit or a badger. 'Thought you might
have sense enough to go before your grandmother dies ... you
won't find much opportunity afterward."
So ... Laurel thinks, her mind beginning to whirl with inter-
esting possibilities ... it would appear that I am the heir. And if
I am, he is probably correct: I daresay everyone expects me to
take charge at once and get the house in order, and that will cer-
tainly be a formidable task. It is a task, however, which appeals
strongly to her passion for organization. Assuming of course,
there is any money left to accomplish all the things that have to
be done, that everything here has gone to rack and ruin simply
because my grandmother is too old and too ill to care anymore,
and not because the family fortunes are decaying along with the
house.
She would like to ask Joss what he knows about this. but of
144
Teresa Edgerton
course it would be improper to discuss her grandmother's fi-
nances with one of the servants. Besides, she does not entirely
care for the way he is looking at her.
But when she turns aside to lake another path, he reaches out
with a big rough hand to stop her. "You don't want to go wan-
dering off into the woods alone. There's snakes in them bushes,
and spiders, too. And the foxes and the weasels run mad in the
hot weather—didn't no one ever tell you that?"
Now Laurel would like to pretend he has not frightened her,
but in fact he has, and she cannot entirely conceal her dismay.
Although she can Just tolerate dogs, cats, and horses, she has an
unreasoning fear of brute creation—the kind of fear that leads
to panics and to cold sweats—instilled by her mother at an
early age, and as for creatures that have too many legs or not
enough ...
She swallows hard, glances back over her shoulder to reassure
herself that there are no rabid foxes or weasels anywhere in
sight. Yet she manages to keep the panic out of her voice when
she speaks. "It is difficult to imagine anything living amidst all
this withering. Why are the trees dying ... or don't you know?"
His hold on her wrist relaxes, his arm drops. "There's a story
the old folks tell, but maybe you don't want to hear it"
Laurel gives a false little laugh. "Of course I do ... though I
certainly don't promise to believe everything you tell me."
Again he gives that annoying shrug, again she detects an am-
biguous expression in his amber eyes. "Well enough, then, since
you insist. In the ancient times, they say, the forest would begin
to fade once every thirty, forty years. Then the priests they had
in those days would take one of the village girls—she had to be
a virgin—and carry her off by force into the woods, where they
had built themselves an altar to their heathen gods. Once they
had her there ..."' He makes a quick expressive gesture with
one hand across his throat. "They do say, also, that the trees and
the beasts and even the earth still remember that time."
Now Laurel is simply furious. He is deliberately trying to
scare me! Suddenly, a great many things begin to make sense.
His questionable antecedents, his being raised right in the house
... he is undoubtedly some bastard of me Windboumes or the
Perrins, and perhaps he is foolish enough to suppose that gives
him some claim to the house and the property? It is clear by
now, anyway, that he resents Laurel and that he is trying to get
rid of her. Perhaps resentful enough to rig up a trap in the grave-
yard, in order to give his wild pagan stories some credibility?
MY SOUL INTO THE BOUGHS 145
Enough to start digging another pit somewhere in the forest and
to almost get himself caught just now in the very act?
"You are despicable," she tells him, between her teeth. "Ut-
terly beneath contempt." And she turns on her heel and leaves
him alone on the forest path.
Much to her relief, he makes no effort to call her back or to
follow after her.
Returning to the house, Laurel discovers that Mrs. Wind-
boume's doctor has finally put in an appearance. He is a wizened
little man in tweeds and a pair of dark spectacles, not particularly
prepossessing, but as he is the first medical man to set foot in-
side the house since her arrival. Laurel takes him into one of the
dim parlors and launches into a detailed account of her grand-
mother's suffering.
Halfway through the conversation, she realizes that he is not a
physician at all—just a country apothecary who dabbles in herbal-
ism on the side. But Mrs. Windboume, he assures Laurel, will not
admit a regular doctor into her bedchamber ... perhaps because
she retains some outdated notions about cupping and bleeding.
"But surely," says Laurel, growing a little desperate, "there is
something you can do to make her more easy. She is in so much
pain! Laudanum perhaps, or even morphine?"
"No," the apothecary answers with a mournful shake of his
head. "Either of these would cloud her mind, and she desires to
stay lucid until the very end, no matter the cost in pain and suf-
fering."
At this Laurel feels a twinge of guilt. At the same time, she is
deeply moved. It is obviously for her sake that Mrs. Windboume
wishes to remain alert and aware, not wishing to waste a single
precious moment of their remaining time together. And I have
been too cold and selfish to return the half of her affection. Yet
if she has been cool and distant in the past, she can at least re-
solve to be warmer and more receptive in the future.
When she goes upstairs to visit her grandmother, a half hour
later. Laurel is still feeling chastened. Because of that, she de-
cides not to mention her encounter with Joss Marten down in the
forest, decides not to speak of anything that might cause her
grandmother the slightest distress.
Laurel comes to herself in the darkness. She cannot see, she
can barely breathe. A great stifling weight is pressing her down,
and her arms and legs have gone as cold and lifeless as clay.
146 Teresa Edgerton
"/ am sorry," says a gentle voice inside her head. "But the
forest and I were dying. You must understand, you were the heir,
and there was nobody else thai was at all suitable."
With a thrill of horror. Laurel understands that she is under
the ground. There is dirt in her eyes and in her nose and her
mouth: she can hear the dull thud of more clods descending. But
a strange thing happens to Laurel: she does not die, she simply
changes. Her flesh becomes earth, her bones become roots, her
hair grass, her eyes—
Laurel wakes to feel a hard pair of hands dragging her out of
her bed, a strong pair of arms lifting her up. For a moment, all
is darkness and confusion, mixed with the scent of woodsmoke
and autumn leaves, before she begins to comprehend what is
happening.
"How dare you, Josiah Marten. How dare you accost me in
my grandmother's house, my own bedchamber," she rages, strug-
gling in his grip.
But he only laughs and crushes her more painfully against his
chest as he carries her out of the room, down a dim hallway, and
finally to the top of a long pair of stairs. "You was warned. Miss
Laurel, but you was too stubborn to listen. Didn't I tell you that
you had to go away while you still could? Couldn't you see plain
enough, down in the graveyard, that the forest wanted you? But
you, you chose to stay in spite of everything, and that was
enough to satisfy the old woman."
Laurel continues to rage and to struggle, but to no avail. And
she does not really listen to what he says—or rather, the meaning
of his words only penetrate her conscious mind when they finally
reach Ac bottom of the steps and she finds her grandmother
waiting there.
Mrs. Windboume is paler than ever and so unsteady she must
lean against the newel post for support, but she is smiling trium-
phantly.
In that moment, Laurel realizes that her common sense has be-
trayed her. All this time, she has been trying to come up with ra-
tional explanations for the events surrounding her, never stopping
to think that the other people involved might be utterly irrational.
"You are simply insane," gasps Laurel, as Joss lowers her to
the floor. He allows her to stand on her own feet, but he still
keeps a strong grip on both her arms, holding them securely be-
hind her. "Do you really believe that you are dying just because
some trees and bushes and vines are withering away at the same
MY SOUL INTO THE BOUGHS 147
time? It is the cancer ... the cancer is killing you, and you can't
save yourself by sacrificing me."
"I am in full possession of my senses, Laurel dear," the old
woman replies calmly. "And of course the cancer is killing me.
I told you that myself; you never heard it from anyone else."
Laurel lets out her breath in a long sigh, shakes the hair out of
her eyes. 'Then what on earth is this all about? Why have you
sent this man to pull me out of my bed in the middle of the
night, and what was that nonsense he was telling me? Maiden
sacrifices and the forest wanting me, and my having to make a
choice? And why ..." she adds tremulously, because her slight-
est movement causes Joss to tighten his hold, and she can feel
that his fingers are going to leave bruises on the tender inside
flesh of her arms. "... why won't he let me go, if nobody means
me any harm?"
"As to nonsense," her grandmother answers, "I am afraid that
it's all perfectly true. In ancient times, they did shed the blood of
me occasional maiden—until a better way was found. Really, my
dear, you disappoint me. I was sure you would be clever enough
to guess the truth by now. / am not dying because the forest is
ailing, the forest is dying along with me."
Mrs. Windboume smiles, making an obvious display of the
strong green teeth. "And no one means to kill you. Laurel. On
the contrary, I mean to confer on you ... a kind of immortality."
The trees are beginning to revive down in the forest. Trees,
bushes, vines ... where all was weak and flaccid before, a vital
tension has been restored. A pulse of life passes through the
earth, leaving a greening world in its wake.
From her vantage point at Mrs. Windboume's latticed bed-
chamber window, the woman behind the veil can see it all
changing from moment to moment. It is, at the same time, terri-
ble and wonderful to behold.
But when Joss Marten appears down below—unusually neat
and precise in a black suit and a white collar—crosses the gar-
den, and slips out of sight again in the vicinity of the entrance to
die house, she forces herself to turn away from the window. With
a rustle of satin skirts, she glides over to the great four-poster
bed and looks down at the body that is lying there.
Death has turned Laurel's grandmother into a wax figure:
pure, changeless, serene. No sign remains of her recent suffering.
If the signs are to be seen anywhere, they are on Laurel's face
148 Teresa Edgerton
behind the veil, as if something passed out of the old woman at
the moment of death and into her granddaughter.
There is a light scratching at the half-open door, and in re-
sponse to Laurel's invitation the housekeeper enters. ''Time for
you to go down. The guests have all arrived." Her glance slides
past the corpse lying on the bed but never quite reaches Laurel.
"You wouldn't want to keep them all waiting on such an impor-
tant occasion."
"Yes, I can hear them."
It would be difficult not to. From the rooms on the ground
floor came many sounds: grunting, growling, squeaking, hooting,
the occasional scrape of moving furniture, the thud of something
carelessly knocked over. Yet Laurel takes a few moments to
smooth out the skirt of her pale silk gown, to adjust her white
lace veil.
Then, with a mixture of joy and trepidation, she begins the
long walk down to the banquet hall where the wedding guests
and her bridegroom are waiting.
THE SCARS OF W
Echoes in flesh and wood
These Shoes Strangers
Have Died Or
by Bruce Holland Rogers
Bruce Holland Rogers has been published in F&SF, Ellery
Queen's Mystery Magazine, Quarterly West and many
other periodicals. A story of his, "Enduring as Dust," was
nominated/or an Edgar. His work has also appeared in a
number of antholgies, including DAW'S Witch Fantastic.
Nineteen forty-two was the first summer of the war bond cam-
paign. After the newsreels and before-the feature, a government
clip showed a Japanese soldier bayoneting a Chinese baby. The
voice-over said again and again, "Buy a bond. Kill a Jap. Buy a
bond. Kill a Jap."
The rifle with its bayonet rose and fell. People coming out of
the theater later would look at me, a young man old enough to
shave. Some of them asked me outright why I hadn't enlisted.
"I'll be old enough in September," I'd say.
After the theater was empty, I'd sweep the aisles and then sit
in one of the middle seats, the popular ones even on slow nights
and matinees. I'd close my eyes and grip the wooden armrests.
Beneath my palms the joy and fear and anger and relief that oth-
ers had felt in this theater moved in the wood grain like a nest
of animals, stirring.
Buy a bond. Kill a Jap-
Feelings like a knot you can't begin to untie.
"Kill a Jap. Be a Jap," I said to the curtained screen.
The house I live in now was built to my own design on the
north-facing slope of a canyon where the trees grow dense and
152 Bruce Holland Rogers
dark. The first floor is half buried so that the second floor won't
rise above the trees, won't too easily reveal the house. To drive
here, you must follow a pair of wheel ruts that turn off from the
gravel road five miles distant. Unless you know where to look,
underbrush hides the way. I stay put in winter. For five months
of the year, the snow between house and road lies undisturbed.
On the second floor is a comer room without windows-
There's a deadbolt on the door to that room, and a padlock. In-
side, a Nazi battle flag hangs on one wall alongside photos of the
camps. Black and white photos of the living and the dead. The
far side of that wall is devoted to wartime posters of buck-
toothed Japanese. There's a photo of me as I was in 1943, a new-
minted soldier, posing with fixed bayonet and glaring at the
camera as if the lens were Tojo himself.
Buy a bond. Kill a Jap.
The war, my war, is limited to that wall. The other walls are
papered with photographs of skulls stacked in Cambodia, bodies
swelling in the sun of Burundi or Rwanda, mass graves opened