- - End of All Things, The (21 page)

Carly was glad for the laughter. It made her a little more relaxed when she approached the water. Justin tied the rope around her waist.

“That’s for the wagon,” she said. Though it would make her feel a little safer, she couldn’t help but be a bit embarrassed by the tether. She felt like a kindergartener’s mittens, attached to a string so they couldn’t get lost.

Justin shook his head. “It’s more important you feel safe. You can’t get washed away or dragged under because I’ll pull you right out.”

Carly nodded. The mud squished between her toes and made her grimace. She waded into the water up to her thighs, and Justin stayed right beside her. Sam gave a small whine and looked at Carly as if to say, “Are you
serious?
” 

“Come on, Sam,” Carly coaxed, and they all plunged into the water at the same time.

The current was gentle, the water icy cold. They swam at an angle as Justin had before. They landed a bit downstream from where Justin had the first time he crossed, but Carly encountered no problems. She let out a sigh of relief when her feet felt the mud of the shoreline. She walked up to the grass and sat down. Her legs were wobbly.

“I’m going back to get the wagon and Shadowfax.” Justin crouched down beside Carly. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just cold,” she said, to explain her shivers. Stupid adrenaline. It always made her want to cry when the situation was over.

She watched Justin as he took hold of Shadowfax’s halter and coaxed her toward the water. Carly wondered if Shadowfax had ever swum before. The mare hesitated just for a brief moment before plunging in. Her tail streamed behind her as she swiftly swam across the river and headed for Carly. She churned up out of the water and trotted across the bank to bump Carly with her nose. Carly stroked her jaw. “Good horse. I’m glad you weren’t scared.”

Justin swam back to the other side and tied another of those elaborate knots to the axle of the wagon. He plunged back into the river as though it were the city pool and swam to the other side—the fifth time he had crossed. Once on shore, he began to haul at the rope, pulling hard and fast. The wagon plunged into the water, and Carly held her breath. The front surged back up, and Justin pulled even faster, essentially skimming the wagon across the river’s surface. They both sighed with relief when he pulled it up onto the shore.

“Nothin’ to it,” Justin said cheerfully. “Here, let’s get you into a towel.” He untied the tarps and opened one of the plastic bins. 

She dried herself quickly and pulled on some dry clothes while Justin dressed on the other side of the wagon. They both laughed as Sam strolled between them and shook vigorously, announcing his displeasure at having to swim with an indignant huff.

They mounted their bikes and set off down the road again. Shadowfax loped beside Carly, flicking her tail as though to help it dry quicker.

“Do you think Shadowfax is getting fat?” Carly asked. 

Justin gave a small snort of laughter. “No. She looks the same to me. Why?”

“I don’t know. She just looks bigger to me.”

“I haven’t noticed any changes, but I’ll watch her more closely if you’re concerned.”

Carly shook her head. “No, I’m probably just imagining things.”

That night, Justin showed her their progress again. They were inching their way down Justin’s map. Every evening, he marked off their advancement with a highlighter. It was sort of humbling to see how little they moved each day, but Justin seemed pleased with their progress. He no longer spoke of reaching Florida before winter. He hoped to get into the Midwest somewhere. He mentioned a farm, someplace they could hole up for the winter.

Carly still felt a little guilty about it. Without Carly and her menagerie, she had no doubt Justin would have traveled much faster. He might have used one of the vehicles they found along the road. Surely not all of the vehicles were dead, though many of them had open doors, which could indicate a drained battery. Justin never tried to start any of them, though a beautiful, shiny Rolls parked by the road once made him moan as he stroked the hood. That car had contained a bounty of supplies in the trunk, and Justin had been cheerful all day as a result.

Justin was a pleasant companion, and her attraction to him seemed to increase every day. She caught herself staring a bit when he wasn’t paying attention. In their other lives, they probably never would have met. Carly would have been afraid of him, as she had been when he was Biker Guy, and he would have dismissed Carly as a silly little ditz. It went to show one could not judge a book by its cover.

When Justin laughed or gave that wicked, teasing grin, the skin around his dark eyes crinkled. Carly’s mother had once said those lines appeared on people who laughed often and knew how to find joy in life. Carly wasn’t sure if Justin was a joyful person, but he had a good sense of humor. And good grief, a man who knew every single line in
Airplane!
and could sing all of the songs from
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
, albeit badly, was someone who was bound to be fun.

That was not to say Justin didn’t have a brooding side. On occasion, Carly would find him staring into space, a dark and distant expression taking him into memories he wouldn’t discuss with her. There were moments when he was terse and cold, but she found she could often draw him out of those moods with humor and compassion. There was no doubt he’d gone through some very rough times, but he seemed determined not to let them hold him prisoner. It was yet another reason to admire him, as if she needed more.

I might be in trouble, here.

Chapter Five

Justin was a light sleeper, so when Carly began to flail and moan in her sleep from her nightmare, he woke and rolled over to gently shake her. “Carly, honey . . . Carly . . .”

Carly’s eyes flew open, and Justin hated the pain and fear he saw within them. He pulled her against his chest and stroked her soft hair. It had worked its way out of its braid after he stealthily slipped her hair tie off and shot it out of the tent into the woods. “Shh . . .”

Carly looked up at him, and their eyes locked for a long, breathless moment. His eyes lowered, seemingly of their own accord, until he was staring at her slightly parted lips, and he found he’d never wanted anything more in his life. Later, he would blame it on being half asleep and curse himself for his weakness, but he was helpless to fight off the urge. Slowly, Justin bent his head and he brushed his lips against hers. He began to pull back, but Carly clenched her arms around the back of his neck and she refused to let go. She kissed him with sweet hunger. He felt her tongue brush the seam of his lips, and he was lost. He kissed her like he’d wanted to for weeks, and
oh God
, it was every bit as good as he thought it would be. 

Carly made a soft sound in the back of her throat, and they slowly fell back, her caramel hair spilling over the pillow beneath her. He thrust his hands into the hair that had so ensnared him, marveling at its softness. Oh, God, he wanted—

Holy shit
!
What the hell am I
doing
? Justin released Carly and jumped back to his side of the tent. “Oh, fuck, Carly, I’m so sorry!”

“What? Justin, why—?”

Justin surged to his feet and dove through the opening of the tent, past the low-burning embers of their camp fire, and into the darkened woods. Justin leaned on a tree, pressing his forehead to the bark. He felt like bashing his head against it and howling. He was a rat bastard for taking advantage of her vulnerability at that moment. She’d awoken from a nightmare and sought comfort, and Justin had practically pounced on her.

Carly was calling his name, and he called back, “Back in a moment.” He heard crunching leaves and looked down to see Sam staring up at him. He could swear he saw an almost accusatory look in those eerily sentient yellow eyes.

He took deep breaths and tried to slow his rapid heartbeat. A few minutes later, he felt subdued enough to return and experienced the same flame as soon as he saw her again. Carly’s hair was tumbled and tousled, and she had her arms hugged around her midriff. That worried wrinkle creased her forehead, and her lower lip trembled the way it did when she was struggling not to cry.

Doomed
.

“I’m sorry, Carly,” Justin said. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Shit . . . I didn’t mean to . . .”

“I’m sorry, too.” Carly hugged herself tighter. “I shouldn’t have . . . It won’t happen again. Please don’t be mad at me.” 

“Mad at
you
? Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because I made you kiss me.” Carly released her grip on her ribs and wrung her hands, twisting her fingers in anxiety. “I’m sorry. I—” Her words died away as she hung her head.

“Sweetheart, you didn’t
make
me do anything.” Fuck, he was going about this badly. Carly looked even more upset at this point than she had when he first walked back into camp.

“Sit down, Carly,” he said. “We need to talk.”

She took a seat in one of the folding canvas chairs they set up every evening, so close their arms were almost touching. Justin immediately regretted the proximity and wished he’d put his own chair on the other side of the campsite. She pulled her knees up, and her bright purple painted toenails gleamed in the light from the fire. She’d talked him into painting them for her. He remembered the warmth of her foot resting on his thigh, and the hunger returned.

Justin rubbed the back of his neck again until the skin started feeling raw. “In these kind of survival situations people sometimes believe they have . . .
feelings
for the person who is helping them through it. Do you understand, Carly? It’s just the way the human mind works. Your feelings of gratitude get all mixed up in the body’s survival drive. It can make you think you have . . . certain feelings. And I . . . uh . . . I took advantage of that.”

Carly was silent. She stared down at the ground in front of her chair. Red stained her cheekbones. 

“Please don’t be embarrassed,” Justin said. “There’s no need. It’s all perfectly normal, and it’s not your fault. I was wrong for what I did.”

Carly leaned down and picked something up out of the grass. It looked like the tab from a soda can. She turned it in her fingers.

“It’s natural,” Justin said lamely. “You’re a lovely girl, Carly, and well, in these kinds of situations, the human body has certain . . . drives. But I should have known better. I
did
know better. But I took advantage of you in a vulnerable moment, and I’m sorry.” 

The red had suffused her entire face. 

“Please don’t be embarrassed,” he repeated.

Carly’s eyes flashed up to meet his, and he was shocked by the heat in them. “I’m not embarrassed. I’m pissed.”

“What?”

She jumped to her feet so fast, she knocked her chair over. “I don’t appreciate being told I don’t know what I’m feeling or my feelings aren’t real. The hell with you and your pop psychology bullshit!”

And with that, Carly whirled, her hair fanning out in a rippled wave behind her, and marched into the tent. In a moment, his sleeping bag came flying out. “Find somewhere else to sleep!” she shouted.

“Carly, wait, please—”

“Piss off!” Carly zipped the tent with finality.

Justin approached, his hands spread out in a silent plea. “Carly—”

Sam, sitting in front of the tent like a Secret Service agent, growled at him. Justin blinked in surprise. He reached out a hand to the tent’s zipper and Sam’s growl became a snarl. 

“Great, now the wolf hates me, too,” Justin muttered, surprised to find how much that bothered him.

Carly unzipped the tent and called for Sam. He gave Justin a last indignant look and went inside the tent with his human. She zipped the flap behind him, and he heard her huff as she flopped down on her sleeping bag.

At a complete loss, Justin picked up his own bag and stumbled over beside the wagon. He spread it out, lay down on top of it, and stared up at the canopy of stars through the gaps between the trees. He had fucked up. And he had absolutely no idea how to go about fixing it.

He put his hands over his face.
Fucking doomed.

Justin’s face was a mass of welts and bumps in the morning. Carly startled when she saw him. 

“Mosquitoes,” he murmured.

“Didn’t you explain to them why they really didn’t want to bite you?” Carly asked in a deceptively sweet tone.

He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. I know I upset you, and I didn’t mean to—”

Carly said nothing. She sat down in her chair and glared at the fire.

“Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes,” Justin said.

“I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat anyway. We’ve got a long day ahead of us.”

“I’m getting really sick of you telling me what I need and what I feel.”

Justin winced. “There isn’t anything I can say to make this better, is there?”

“No.”

Justin nodded. Perhaps it was better she be hurt sooner than later, when she might have let those feelings grow.