End of the Line (7 page)

“She’s a rich girl whose father took her shooting. She hits all her targets but she’s not the friendliest of people. Stay out of her way, except for you, Sachi, she might like a masseuse.”

Sachi didn’t respond but made a strange face.

“Every day I make rounds, checking up on people and seeing how they’re doing. We all have stories but we must survive. We don’t know how long we’ll be here, we don’t have any news—“

“Last I checked,” Tanya said. “There was nothin’ but pocket militias killing the zombies. No sign of a government.” Having been in one of those pocket militias, I knew she was right.

“I heard there was a camp on the west coast,” Sachi said.  “That the country is starting from scratch.”

“We all heard the rumors,” Tanya said. “They probably ain’t true.”

“When you were attacked by zombies, did they get in?” Sachi asked.

“No, we have the place pretty well fortified, but one time we were attacked by men who broke through a window. That’s why we boarded up even the high ones. They killed one person before Princess got them. When someone dies, we burn the body on the roof.” I thought back to the time, of being woken up by Debra screaming and how they bashed her head. By the time I got to her, I couldn’t do anything.

“Have a lot of people died here?” Sachi asked.

“Not a lot, so far only three.”

“How’d they die?” Tanya asked.

I didn’t respond. I wondered if Tanya was pushing my buttons.

“Come on, boss lady,” she said. “We should know.”

“You already know one woman was killed when men broke in. An old man died of natural causes and the suicide of the leader before me.” I neglected to mention Tom, the rapist or that Jonathan probably killed himself too. I’m sure the others would eventually learn.

“Why he do himself in?” Tanya asked. 

“I don’t know—“ I said.

“What about you,” she said. “Are you going do it?”

“Tonight,” Jim said, interrupting. Tanya looked peeved that I didn’t answer her. “We are going to have dinner and a movie at 6pm.”

“Movie?” Henry asked.

“Yep, every week we have a movie night on one of those portable DVD players that run on batteries. Tonight we are watching Office Space.”

“That was a funny movie” Sachi said. “I wish I was back in my office. My boss was an idiot but I miss him. I miss them all--” her voice trailed off and she looked down.

“Hey, boss lady,” Tanya again with the pointer finger. “Heard you know this guy,” she said, then pointed at Dan.

“He’s a friend from before.”

“He gonna get special treatment?”

“He’s a friend, but I’ll treat you all equality.”

“Do you discipline here?” Sachi asked.

“If you don’t do work, commit a crime, hurt someone or steal, you’re out. No trials or sympathy. We’re in this together. We need to survive and rely on each other.”

“Thought there be no speeches,” Tanya said.

             
“Jim gave me the candy, is that a good aisle?”  Dan sat on my bed. “I asked to be near you but he said I could move later if I wanted.” It was getting close to dinner and I could smell it. Maddie was cooking up something good.

             
“Not really,” I said. “The kids are permanent fixtures and Rosa, Maddie or Eli always shooing them out. Jim put you there because he thinks I want t
o be alone. He might be right.”
             
“You
don’t want me to be near you?”

             
“I’m worried about temptation.”

“Don’t--”

“I won’t get mad if you have sex with someone else.” I had a twang of jealous but I put it aside. Being with another woman might help numb my feelings for him.

             
“You sure?” he said. “Sometimes it makes me feel better.” I must have had a strange look on my face because he added. “One day things will get better and we’ll find out you’re immune. Then we can be together.”
             

             
That would be nice, but I don’t think it would happen.

             
“Got some comfy jammies from Jim,” he said, holding them up. “Maybe we could sleep together, no touching.”

             
“Sorry, Dan. It ain’t going to happen.”

             
“Can I stay with you now, until dinner’s ready?” I looked around, then back to Dan. I didn’t want say yes, but I gave in.
             

             
I lay on the bed and pulled out the book I was reading. The sun was beginning to fade, so I turned on my battery operated lamp. Dan made himself comfortable next to me. I wanted to enjoy it, his closeness. He smelled
better now that he showered.
             
             

             
“I didn’t know you like Stephanie Meyer?” He played with my hair the way he used to.

             
“I don’t. But I read a lot. I’ve gone through a lot of books.”

             
“Glad to be safe, Rach, but I don’t know if I could live like this for years.”

             
I shrugged. “I don’t know either. We’ve had passersby looking for food, heading in different directions, hoping rumors are true.”

             
“I’ve heard rumors everywhere. I’m not sure I want to find out and risk finding nothing. Do you have a ham radio?”

             
I shook my head. “Just CBs and regular radios. Every morning, Jim runs the radio dial. One station crackles a bit but we hear no voices. The CB is quiet, even on the emergency channel. Face it, the world is dead. All we have is Ernie and he has th
e same news as everyone else. ”
             

             
“Ernie’s jaundiced, probably liver disease or hepatitis and y
ou let him run around for you?”

             
“I realize it’s cruel but we can’t let him in. Not because of the disease but he’s a drunk. You know that Joel w
ould have done the same thing.”

             
Dan didn’t respond. At our old house, Joel was the leader and whatever he said goes. That included whom we invited in. We also went out on regular hunting parties. Here the council made the decisions together and none of us wanted to go out. 

Maddie set the table up covered in candles, fake flowers, and the best place settings CostKing had to offer. We used glass or plastic dishes and washed them with rain water. Dave’s turn tonight to do them which made me chuckle considering the amount of dishes.

We didn’t want to create a lot of garbage as the smell attracted vermin. They weren’t completely stupid. Some of them knew the smell of our food meant we would be nearby.

Princess, Tanya, Eli, Annemarie and the new little girl were missing from the table.

“Eli’s with Jennifer,” Mindy explained. “It looks like she got Annemarie’s cold, poor thing, so he’s looking after her. Maddie gave them and Annemarie some food. Annemarie’s better. I’ll go check on them later after the movie.”

“That’s okay,” I said. “Dinner isn’t mandatory.”

“It should be,” she said, then laughed. Maddie put out the first course canned pineapple.

“Beef stew tonight, honey and popcorn for later.”

“Sounds divine.” Dan sat next to me. I’m usually sandwiched between Maddie and Jim. Both looked confused over which one should sit on my other side. Finally Jim sat next to Sachi and Maddie got the coveted spot. Everyone else was seated. Dave sat across from me. He said Maddie was useless, but he was at all of her meals.

Maddie put two separate pots of the stew on opposite sides of the table. I poked at the pineapple, and then ate it even though I wasn’t hungry. The syrup was too sweet; I don’t think we’ll ever see a fresh pineapple again. We don’t waste food. The truth is if Maddie and Jim didn’t leave food for me, I probably wouldn’t eat.

Rosa sat with the kids and heaped generous portions of pineapple on their plates.

She prayed before she ate, as did Mindy and Robert and both kids but not Aisha. I watched them with their head down, eyes closed and whispering quietly. After she made sure everyone had what they needed, Maddie also prayed over her canned pineapple, the sweet smell almost made me nauseous.

Dear lord, thank you for canned fruit. Thank you for murdering my family and for an infection that makes people violent killing machines. Thank you for making me a carrier or immune to this stupid virus. Amen.

After the pineapple, people passed around the stew. I took a small plateful to be polite. The food was delicious despite that the meat had been in the freezer for a while and the stew came courtesy of a can. Sachi looked at the beef stew but didn’t take any. “Problem Sachi?”

“I don’t eat meat,” she said. “The pineapple is fine.”

Maddie laughed. “Don’t worry, honey, I have left over spicy beans from this morning.”

People ate, I ate slowly. They took seconds, I played with firsts. I would finish but not until everyone had their fill. I used to eat healthy. My husband and I bought organic when possible. We ate our vegetables and ran on our twin treadmills in the basement. Now I didn’t care where my food came from.

“I got dessert coming too. Canned chocolate pudding but I added some sweetened condensed milk.”

“I’m sure it’s good,” I said.

“I gave Tanya some food—“

“You talked to her?”

“Yes, that girl she’s been through something fierce.”

“No worse than the rest of us,” I said as I watched Dave grumble over collecting the plates.

After dinner some of us stayed for a movie. We waited for Dave to finish with the dishes. Maddie and Rosa went to
settle Brie and Simon to sleep. Aisha stayed up. No one cared if it was age appropriate and we showed R rated movies. I usually skipped movie nights. Tonight I decided to come briefly for the new people. Ten minutes and I would go to bed.

Aisha came up to me while Jim was getting the movie ready.

“Hey,” she said.

“What’s up?”

“Did Jim tell you I want my own aisle?”

             
“Yes. Maybe we can set up some kind of partition in Maddie’s aisle.”

             
“No,” she said, her face indignant. “I
want privacy. I’m not a child.”

             
“You aren’t an adult.”

             
“I want my own aisle. I work hard, as much as the adults.” I wondered if this was a defiance thing but I understood why she wouldn’t want to share a space with two kids and an adult. 

             
“What does Maddie think?”

             
“She wants me to stay.”

             
“You can take my aisle,” Dan said. “It’s the candy aisle.”

             
Aisha ignored him.

             
“Let me talk to Jim, he can arrange something, but I don’t want you far from the adults, okay?” That seemed to satisfy her. That and Dave arriv
ed and Jim started the movie. 
             

             
Our little theater was a battery operated LCD projector powered by a battery run DVD player. We surrounded it with lawn and lounge chairs. Mindy and Jake sat in a hammock together put up between two display racks. I took a lounge chair and Dan sat next to me. Maddie had left us three pots of popcorn. People were laughing while watching. Movie night was almost always comedies because no one wanted to see anything depressing. Dan put his arm around me and I didn’t stop him. The popcorn came to me,
I passed it to Dan and yawned.

             
“Not interested?” he asked.

             
“Not really. I’m going to go to bed.”

“
Would you like me to walk you?”

“I know the way.”

He got the message. I hated being so stand offish.

My flashlight led me to my room where I retrieved my basin. I only saw pitch blackness through the skylight but the store wasn’t that cold. The store was illuminated only with my flashlight, the far away projector and lights from some of the aisles. The silence interrupted by far off laughter.

The bathroom was on the opposite side of the store. I passed aisles closed off by boxes and saw a dim light in Maddie’s room. Brie didn’t like the dark and needed a night light. I only hoped we’d have enough batteries until she grew out of it.

Three more aisles and I passed Tanya’s space. She added more to the boxes and I couldn’t see down the aisle at all. There was a low light coming from behind the crates and boxes but I didn’t hear anything. I smelled cat piss, but grateful not to step in any.

I entered the men’s room, colder in here. I could feel the cold coming through my slippered feet. I pumped some rainwater from the barrel Eli installed, into the basin and washed my face, used the bathroom, then brushed my teeth. I looked at the window boarded up, except for a small hose that bought in the water. The bathroom was silent and still. I held the flashlight up and looked into the mirror. I looked much older than
my 36 years. My skin had faded, my eyes were sinking in. I knew I had to eat more, but I couldn’t.