Enflame (Book 6) ((Insight) Web of Hearts and Souls) (7 page)

His fiery eyes cascaded over me. “Seeing your woman grieve for another man, scream his name, and vow to follow that soul to death is not easy for anyone.” He let those words sink in. It was like he was waiting for one excuse to change me into a Phoenix. I was too tired to give him one.

“He knew. He knew the other man was darkness, like you, and because of that, your end with him would always be the same. You would destroy each other.” He glanced back at Landen. “He never let me see him suffer, but I knew him too well. He blamed himself, thought that if he had found you sooner that you would have never seen the other the way you did.” His eyes found mine again. “I watched him walk your body into the flames, kicking and screaming, calling out your old lover’s name. When you did not rise, he stayed in the fire with your ashes, sometimes for months, replaying all that had gone wrong. He grieved so deeply that rage bre
athed in his stare. He blamed himself, over and over he took the blame when I knew if I had just let you both come back together, when you wanted to, that neither one of us would have lost the one that completed our souls.”

“Where is your girl? The one you ran into the fire to find?”

“Don’t go there with me,” he said vacantly as every part of him tensed again.

“Why?” I pressed.

“She wasn’t in the fire. She died.”

“So did I
and Landen looked for me. Where is the girl?”

I could see the agony behind the flame in his eyes. “I see her every second of every day in my mind. I can remember the scent of her skin, how her blonde hair falls over her haunting blue eyes, the sharp intake of breath she takes just before she tells you how she really feels
which isn’t often. No time or fire could ever burn her essence from my soul.” Anger took the place of agony. “But listen here, Sunshine, that’s my paved path to hell to walk, not yours. We are moving forward. If by some miracle she followed you to this side, she has forgotten me long before this day.”

“That’s a lie,” I said in a whisper. “From my first thought in this life, I searched for Landen. She is searching for you.”

“Tell me this,” he said with a glacial gaze, leaning toward me. “Why this one, and not the lives I saw you in? How do I know that a light has not claimed my lover, that they are not locked in a vicious cycle of destroying each other? The same one you fell into?”

“I guess you don’t. Even if that were true, deep down she knows.”

“You didn’t,” he said with a crack in his voice.

I wasn’t sure if it was anger or agony that caused it, but I did know one thing: he’d used me as an example. Each time I ran into Drake’s arms, screamed his name, Phoenix saw his girl running to another in his mind. I felt even more guilt absorb me. Some girl somewhere was alone, lost, and it was because I led her lover to believe that all love is blind and dies when absence separates souls. One way or another, I was going to give him a reality check. I could not answer for the girl I was, but today I can promise that I will destroy anything that comes between
Landen and me. Love never dies.

After a brief hesitation, I answered him. “You don’t know what I knew, and I don’t care to defend a past I can’t remember.”

“You cared enough before today. I opened Guardian’s mind tonight, and when I did I saw glimpses of this life he’s in.  You’re all too worried about the past you and your other had.”

“I found who he is meant to be with. He’s a friend in this life. Nothing more.”

He raised his chin as if to question my truth.

“How dangerous would it be if Landen exchanged energy with my other? What impact does that have on this spell you are trying to unravel?” I asked timidly.

“You didn’t.” Every part of his body tensed with those words as I felt his energy tighten around me.

“I didn’t do anything on purpose. It wasn’t all my fault. I had to make him stronger to save that dimension we are fighting for. And in The Realm...I don’t know what could have happened.”

He brushed his fingertips through his long, auburn hair as he turned to look at Landen. Swiftly, he walked to where his body lay. His fingertips called forth Landen’s energy, like he’d done with mine. Once in his hands, he turned the sphere.

After a moment or two of inspection, he brought the energy to me. In the sphere, I saw more light than darkness; I saw the gray lines of my energy swimming within him. I also saw darker lines spider webbing through this ball of energy, but what looked like flames were burning into those lines. Once he was sure I saw what he saw, he sent the energy back to Landen.

“If he’d refused me one moment longer, this would be over. Do not ever do that again.”

I seriously doubted the few times I’d helped Drake was the cause of that much damage. The Realm did this. I was sure of it.

“What is happening inside him? What did The Realm do to him? What was the purpose of Donalt or that girl sending him there?”

“Bloody hell, am I speaking clearly or not? They were invading his energy. You and your other’s energy together is destructive, put that inside of Guardian, side by side, and you birth annihilation. There is only one reason to do that: a hostile take over. Someone wanted not only his vessel, but his soul.”

“
Donalt.” I breathed. “He wanted me with Drake so he could take over his body. I suppose he was trying to seize Landen’s instead. I don’t get why he wanted Drake’s essence in the mix.”

“
Three powerful souls taken down with one shot, the reaction to that take down will wave across all those who are in this fight. Donalt was trying to end this war with one blow. Simple as that.” He glanced to Landen then to me. “We’ve got a mess to clean up, no doubt, Sunshine.”

And with that, he vanished, taking the hold off me. When it was gone, I instantly heard a mournful rainfall against the home we were in. I urged the door closed behind me, and in the blinding darkness I found my way to the bed, then crawled against Landen’s side until I found his shoulder.

His skin was on fire. His heart was racing. When he felt me next to him, his arm pulled me closer.

“
Are you awake
?” my thoughts pleaded.

“
Not really
.”

“
Tell me where you are so I can find you
.”

“
Not here...just hold me
.”

“
You’re okay
.”

“
Better than I have been
.”

“
I’m so sorry
.”

“
Don't be
.”

His arm tightened around me, and his humming energy caused my body to relax against his. I stared forward as memories of my life before him came to me. I remember seeing images, thinking they were in some way a doorway to him. When I would sketch the emotions of the ones I helped, it gave me an escape, helped me to focus on them instead of my wondering heart, that absent feeling that chased every second of my day. My mom used to urge me to paint still life. Looking back, I think she did that so I would take in the beauty of now, embrace life for what it was, and not focus on an unseen future.

I think she was both right and wrong. I needed to have more gratitude for the world around me, but I also needed to open myself up to who I am, what change I could bring with a simple emotion. That change was beyond the home I barely knew in Chara, beyond the dark dimension of Esterious. For all I knew, my work there was nearly done. I knew that Madison and Drake had not fallen instantly in love, that Drake still needed me, if only to encourage him to take control of his world. But right now I had to figure out the big picture, my end game, a way out of this curse.

I held the image of my mom and Libby in my mind as I drifted into an exhausted sleep.

Feeling someone caress a strand of hair out of my face caused me to open my eyes. When I did, it was not Landen’s silhouette I saw gazing down at me.

I slowly rose, finding myself far from the darkened room I’d drifted away in. I was in Drake’s chambers, lying across his massive bed, which was showered in dark velvet red. My heart hammered with a mix of excitement and fear. My glance moved to the closed drapes, expecting the weather to pound through them at any moment.

“It’s a dream,” Drake murmured.

My eyes found him sitting by my side, careful not to let any part of himself touch me.

“It feels real. Is this the past?”

“This is now,” he whispered.

“How?”

His gaze fell to my ankh tattoo. “I will always find you.”

At one time, that may have frightened me, but right now it made me feel safe.

“Do you know where I am? Are the others looking for us?”

“That’s a foolish question.” His ghostly smile made my heart flutter.

“I’m fine.” I grimaced. “At least I think I am.”

“If you weren't, I would already be there. You know that.”

“Do you know who Phoenix is?

“Perhaps
. The name sounds familiar.”

“And?”

His perfect lips parted slightly before he answered. “At the time, I was distracted with my death.”

“He killed you?
”

He seemed flattered by my obvious rage. “No. I’m sure he would have found pleasure in it, but he wasn’t looking for my death
. He was looking for Dane’s.”

“I know that was not my Dane.” I argued.

“It was his vessel,” he bluntly stated, raising his brow to emphasize his point.

“Don’t fight with me on this. He’s dead.” My voice trembled as the words left my lips.

Indifferently, he murmured, “The choice is his now.”

“What choice?”

“He was only possessed because a part of his soul was given by him. He has to find that part. Once whole, he can choose to rise into the existence of a Witness or fall into the life of the damned. Only a mirror of him will exist and it will be your worst enemy.”

“How do you know this?” I asked as my eyes rushed across his image.

“Alamos has been helping me work through my dreams of him since the moment I laid eyes on him. Some of what I’m telling you came from the dreams. Others I rediscovered in The Realm when my lives were played out for me. Perodine admitted it was seen in his chart.”

I swallowed nervously. “They did something to Landen, opened his eyes or something. Is that bad?”

“It was inevitable,” he said under his breath as his magnetic eyes showered me with his energy.

“He’s not going to be in pain, is he?”

“I doubt he will ever feel pain again...well...from anything beyond losing you or his first heir.”

I sat up abruptly. “Libby.”

His pensive stare confirmed my obvious question.

“You wouldn't say that unless you thought something was going to happen to her.”

His hand reached for mine, but then he stopped himself and pulled away. “You have many weaknesses. Landen only has two. He may grieve for another loss, but the two of you are the only thing that can break him. Any warrior knows his enemy’s weaknesses.”

“He’s not your enemy,” I said, jolting away from him. “Wh
at is going to happen to Libby?”

He hesitated, almost painfully. “There was one image I would see over and over in The Realm: Preston and Libby, asleep under a massive clock.” His eyes fell from mine. “Each time the clock ticked slower, I thought it was my mind’s way of telling me that I was running out of time, that soon The Realm would end me.” He drew in a short breath. “Even now, once I’ve made it out, those images appear in my mind every single minute.”

He leaned forward, letting his gaze fall to the floor. “I think we’ve stopped the clock, that we’ve lost our way and...and...we have damned their purpose.”

He stood, pushing his hands into the pockets of his suit pants. “Donalt knows the only foolproof way to stop me or Landen would be taking you or them. Taking you has failed him. It’s almost logical that he’d come for them...and somehow he would make it our fault.”

He glanced over his shoulder at me. “We are so far off-track at this point that I doubt we will ever understand what the right one was in the first place.”

“We’re on track now,” I argued.

“You and I are in the same place we have been from day one.”

“Stop this. Madison,” I argued, standing to make my point.

With a fierce glance, he turned to face me.

“Go ahead. Tell me that it doesn't matter that she looks like me
—tell me that I was a fool to search for her. We both know that’s B.S.”

He leaned down, only allowing inches to separate us. “You were too late.”

“No” I breathed, stepping forward. He avoided my touch by stepping away.

“Willow, she’s a Scorpio. Loyalty is not encouraged. It’s demanded.” His dark eyes melted over me. “She knows we had a past, that I held you, that I loved you.”

“It was not the same kind of love,” I swore.

“Perhaps,” he whispered as a ghost of a smile echoed on the corner of his lips. “Nevertheless, she will never forgive me for my emotions…for every wrong I have done.”

“That’s crap, and you know it. When did you become a coward? In the last twelve hours? Come on.”

He furrowed his brow
. “You sound like her.”

“She said the same thing?”

“The sarcasm. I like it.”

“Where have you been? Sarcasm is not new to me.”

“Yes, it is. You’ve never been you with me. You’ve never been you with anyone. What broke your spirit?”

“My spirit is not broken. I’m over this. I’m fine with answering for what I’ve done in this life. This B.S. about paying for something I can’t remember has taken its toll on my manners.”

He leaned into me. “You’re not paying for anything. You are getting what you want. The devil is in the details.”

“Truth,” I whispered.
“You can’t talk to a girl twice and then think that you have no chance.”

“Do you like it when I call you love?”

The question was so out of place that I really didn’t know how to respond. I just shrugged instead, showing indifference.

“It doesn’t bother you that I never have called you by your full name. That I don’t even know what your full name in this life is?” he pressed.

“What does this have to do with anything?” I asked as I evaluated his brooding stare.

“I’m trying to work out my dreams. To understand how much of my past was with her and how much of it was with you.”

“Present is all that matters now.” I assured him.

“I can’t tell you how furious I am right now, Willow.”

He was clearly getting used to calling me by name now. “Why?”

“All of this hell, this war of hearts, this manipulation…I have a feeling it has been plotted for awhile, maybe since our beginning. I think that the only way to keep Madison Marie safe, to keep you safe, is to play this part, let them think we are hopelessly twisted.”

“Who is them? What part?”

“Whomever has seen fit to bring agony to each of us. If I give my attention to Madison Marie they will kill her simply because for some reason they have seen fit to pair the two of us.”

I was grinning on the inside. He was worried about her. He was working out his dreams. He understood what I had been saying from day one.

“You’re a smart man. You can find a
way around all of that.”

He smiled contemptuously. “Absolutely, apologizing for mistaking Madison Marie for you will
work perfectly as I stand on a stage before evil and fight for your heart to appease them. How will she ever understand that?”

“I would start by being honest with her. Tell her your intentions. Even though your actions were wickedly dark at times, your heart was in the right place.”

“Was it, now?” he asked as his eyes met mine.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think if Landen ever felt lust, undying love, or yo
ur intent to run away with me you’d be dead by this point. He knew you cared about me, that you would protect me. That the emotions you thought you had for my soul were shallow compared to how deep love swims. We had a past, Drake, a dark one. One that ended quickly with a painful death. I have no guilt for the emotions I have for you. We have walked through hell too many times side-by-side to not care…Landen understood that because of his insights. Madison…if she’s worthy to take your heart as hers she should, too.”

“It’s the stage that we have to stand on that has me bothered. I have always spoken the truth as I knew it to be. Now, I’m going to have to lie.”

“Lie to whom?”

“Whomever is watching us. When you are next to me in my kingdom you need to understand that I am on a stage. That I will say and do whatever I have to in order to keep you and Madison Marie alive.”

“And that will keep you an honest man Mr. Blakeshire. Talk to her the way you talk to me and you can’t go wrong.”

His grin nearly took my breath away. It was so unexpected. “Hmm,” he murmured. “Does my ex have any dating tips for me?”

“Ex?” I repeated, rolling my eyes.

“Poor choice of words.” He admitted.

“I know for sure now that we are not meant to be—that in the past we never were.” I assured.

“Because you found a twin.” He said with a nod, obviously over the argument that I was right all along.

“No. I’m darkness. That is why we always destroyed each other in the past.”

He smirked. “Sure you are.”

“I’m not trying to prove a point or pick a fight. I was giving you a point to bring up to Madison. She is pure light. The two of you will balance. You won’t hurt her—drain her.”

“I can’t hurt someone that will not let me near them.” His tone was harsh as he stepped away from my pondering stare.

“Any blind man can see that Madison and her friends have a closed circle. Break into it. If you gain the trust of the others, you will gain hers.”

He smiled disdainfully. “I’m breaking into that circle, not for her benefit, but for Draven’s.”

I wasn’t surprised he’d found a fondness for Draven. Oddly, they reminded me of each other in some way.

“Are you going to protect him?”

“I’m going to teach him control. He will be able to protect himself.” His placid expression told me that even though he was going to teach Draven control, he wouldn't go any further than that. He didn’t want to let anyone else in. Drake had closed himself off from almost every soul in the universe.

“He needs you. They all need you.”

“My theory,” he murmured, letting his gaze fall over me, “is that we all need each other.”

“Promise me you’ll open yourself up, let her see the real you. The one I see right now.”

An embarrassed grin invaded his addictive image. “And how am I supposed to do that?”

“You’ll figure it out. I shouldn't be the only one that sees that side of you.”

“Are you telling me to live a little?” he asked with an allure in his eyes.

Before I could answer, he stepped closer to me and reached for my chin. Suddenly, the room erupted into flames.

Drake’s eyes moved to the flames, then to me as he let out a sigh and let his hand fall. “You better wake up. He knows you’re here. Let’s not test the man while he’s in transition.”

Before I could question him, my eyes flew open and I found myself lying in Landen’s arms. His eyes were gently closed, but his humming skin was on fire.

“
Are you awake
?”

His only response was his arms pulling me tighter and his thumb urging my chin
up to his lips. I kissed him tenderly at first, but then my hungry lips divided his, wanting to be closer. I wanted him to wake up, to hold me, talk to me, but I felt the strength in his lips fading, ignoring my protest. His kiss halted as he fell into a relaxed sleep.

Frustrated, I rolled to my back and stared into the darkness. I knew that Drake would send someone to where we were, that our family would not be worried about us. I didn’t think I needed them to help me with Landen anymore. I just didn’t want them to worry. I was more than sure that by now they knew what had happened to Clarissa and Dane, that Charlie must have told them, and time apart would be good. In some way, we would blame each other for this loss.

My goal was to undo it, turn this loss into a gain. I didn’t want anyone beyond me and Landen to see Dane the way I saw him last night, and if Clarissa was in the same condition, that would only add salt to the open wound. Brady, Marc, and the others would go insane with rage.

I twirled my ring, wondering if I could somehow go back. Save them. Stop that bus.

No matter how much I focused on that thought, I could not open the door the looking glass was supposed to give me. That was beyond frustrating.