Enforcer (Cascadia Wolves) (17 page)

She thought about it. Could she do it? Could she expose herself and tell him her story after what had happened? Could she trust him? Because if she didn’t open up, she wasn’t sure they’d make it. But he was Mr. Law and Order, what if she was repulsed by what she told him? What if he couldn’t accept her past?

She’d held on to her secrets for a very long time, never letting anyone in. She wasn’t sure she’d even lived really. She had a house and her shop but never really any true interaction—intimacy—with anyone. When you opened up, you took risks that what you shared could be used to hurt you. And that terrified her. But losing Lex terrified her more.

Reaching down, she opened the door she’d kept barricaded for so long. “About three weeks after my twelfth birthday my parents went off on a trip. It was just for three days. My daddy was going to bring me back saltwater taffy from the shore.

“Gabriel and I were playing in the yard of some family friends and the police came. They told us that my parents had been killed in a fire at the hotel. A lot of stuff happened, I don’t remember all of it but eventually they put us with a distant cousin of my mother’s. But they hated us. They just liked the money.

“And Gabriel was…he didn’t know how to deal with our parents being gone. He’d been such a sweet child but he got in with the wrong crowd and got in trouble. A lot. Before long they’d kicked us out.”

Nina relayed the story in a quiet voice. Lex reached out slowly and took her hand, relaxing when she didn’t pull away.

“What did you do?”

“They wanted to put us in foster care but they couldn’t guarantee that we’d stay together and even at just ten, Gabriel was already on track for trouble. I couldn’t take the chance of being separated from him. So we ran. I was nearly fifteen and I worked odd jobs and we lived here and there, ducking the social workers and the system. I became an expert at lying to get what we needed.

“First I ran street cons with some other, older kids. But then I ran up against the small time hoods who were part of organized crime. I was a pickpocket. I stole food. I stole clothes. I stole things I could resell for money to pay for rent. I got picked up a few times. Did a few stints in juvie.

“I cleaned houses for a while. I think one lady I worked for knew we were on the edge, saw how desperate I was. She helped me get into some continuing education classes and I got interested in computers. She had one and let me use it. I started keeping her books for her. I don’t know where I’d be today if it weren’t for her.”

Nina began to cough. Her throat was so dry. Lex sat up quickly and poured a glass of water, handing it to her in the cool darkness of the room. A few minutes later she stacked pillows up and sat against the headboard.

“Anyway, the money was all right. She let us live in an apartment over the garage. Gabriel was nearing eighteen and I was so afraid he’d end up in jail. I started hacking for fun. It was a way to pass the time as I waited up for him to get home. And I got to be good. Really good.

“People found me and hired me to do jobs for them. I never hurt anyone but I broke the law, Lex. I used the money on hospital bills. Damn Gabriel was always getting in fights, needing stitches or bones set and casted.

“But there were crackdowns and I was terrified of getting caught. If I went to prison what would happen to Gabriel? I wanted to have enough money to walk away. To get us across the country and set us up. So I did one last job. I nearly got caught but it netted me a very, very large payoff.

“I bought two bus tickets and picked Gabriel up and we traveled for a few days and ended up here. We lived in an apartment and I got my GED and went to community college and discovered how much I loved floral design and plants and flowers in general. I was good at the business side of things but I was always careful to not have a computer at home hooked up to the internet.

“We’d gotten out. I had a business and things were good. And then Gabriel got bitten in that bar fight and I couldn’t protect him anymore. He was your problem and god help me, I was relieved. I loved Gabriel but twelve is too young to be a mother.”

Lex’s heart was pounding as he listened. He ached for her. He’d told her that he hadn’t been handed anything—and he hadn’t, he’d worked hard for his accomplishments—but compared to her life, he’d had it so easy.

“People have failed me my entire life, Lex. The only constant I’ve had was myself. I’m not proud of the things I’ve done. I know they were wrong. But it was all I knew how to do. Maybe I should have let us go into foster care. I don’t know. All I had was myself.” Her voice broke as she repeated it.

“I believed in you. I allowed myself to believe that for once in my fucking life I was with someone who might take care of me every once in a while. Or at the very least, take care of themselves so I wouldn’t have to.”

Her entire body began to tremble at the effort to free all of the things she’d kept inside. “I trusted you. I trusted Cade. I don’t know how to get back from this place where I feel so betrayed.”

Lex leaned over her and turned on the lamp, casting a low golden light into the room. He sat next to her, searching her face.

“Oh, baby. My poor wounded bird.” He kissed her fingertips and realized he could scent her wolf and he had to close his eyes for a moment as the intensity of the feeling passed through him.

“Why, Lex? Why would you all stand there and watch someone kill me? You don’t think issuing a challenge to the death was a bit of an overreaction for a nick on the forehead? Could you really just watch as he killed me, Lex? You had a gun, you could have shot him first. Do I really mean so little that an entire room of people would do nothing to stop him from killing me?” Nina’s voice was a mere whisper, laden with emotional turmoil.

Lex took a deep breath. “Werewolves have existed, hidden from humans, for thousands of years. We’ve only just come out in the last hundred years. All that’s kept us safe, free from persecution and being hunted to extinction, was the Pack.

“The Pack is life, Nina. Our rules create order. A Pack is a unit. You have to trust everyone in that unit to get your back if you’re attacked. Our rules aren’t just words and ceremony—they’re wired into our very existence.

“You felt it when Cade spoke earlier, I know you did. It’s biological determinism for werewolves. But in order for a hierarchy to exist unchallenged—to avoid infighting and backstabbing—every wolf has to rely on the absolute of the rules that govern us.

“We can’t obey the rules only when it suits us. If Cade had stopped the challenge, the Pack would have torn him apart. Literally. They would have lost confidence in his leadership. That would have thrown the Pack into total chaos.

“Cade was born to lead this Pack. Just as I was born to be the Enforcer. It’s my job to enforce our laws.” His voice hitched with deep emotion. “I would have killed Carter if he’d killed you. But they took my guns, I couldn’t have shot him. Challenge or no, I would have ripped him apart with my bare hands and then I’d have withered away without you.”

Tears were running down her face and he reached out and took the teardrops with the tips of his fingers. They clung there like diamonds. He put them to his lips—taking her inside of him.

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t be what you needed. I’m not making excuses for it. Carter betrayed the Pack by misusing his position. It’s one reason why the rest were so quick to demote him so severely. But Cade couldn’t have stepped in. He had to weigh your life against the existence of the Pack he was born to protect. It wasn’t easy for him, but there was no other choice.”

She looked into his face for several long minutes. She didn’t speak, she just studied his features as she drank him in. Aside from being incredibly handsome, there was something about the shape of his eyes, the curve of his bottom lip, the fuzz of his day-old beard—something about the sight of him that calmed her.

She reached out and touched his bottom lip and they both shivered at the contact. So much existed between them that there weren’t words adequate to express it all. Love and hope, hurt and anger, disapproval and betrayal, but above all, connection. Love is not simple, it is not easy. But between them, it simply existed.

It was like slow motion as Lex brought a hand up to enfold her hand in his larger one. “You’re still recovering. We should wait.”

Her eyes narrowed and he laughed. She shook her head. “I need a shower.”

“Dr. Molinari said that would be fine. Do you need help?” He got up gingerly. His cock was so hard it ached. His wolf was barely leashed, wanting to mark her, excited that she now had a wolf. It took their bond to a completely new level. Where before he’d been able to keep his wolf suppressed because Nina was human, there were no such restraints now and his wolf knew it.

He walked into their bathroom and turned on the water to let it run and get it warm. His back was turned but he felt when she walked into the room. Not just with his more sensitive hearing and sense of smell, but deep inside.

Turning, he caught her eye and their wolves caught scent of each other.

Her eyes widened as her breathing quickened. “What is that?” Her hand gripped the bathroom counter.

“Our wolves. They scented each other.” He moved to her and pulled her shirt off, tossing it in the hamper, and then shoved her panties down. One of her hands rested on his shoulder as she stepped out of them, kicking them aside.

He groaned and her hand tightened. “Lex,” she said in a purr.

“No. Don’t tempt me, Nina. You need a shower and then you need to get back in bed. You were so hurt…” His voice broke and he turned quickly, opening the shower enclosure and she sashayed in.

The warm water sluicing down her body felt really good and she sighed at the pleasure.

“Tease.”

“Shut up about that. It’s my job to be desirable. But you can tell me why I don’t seem to have any actual symptoms from my fight with Carter except for some muscle soreness and fatigue.”

He chuckled. “The change did it. We heal very quickly. You were out for two days and while you were unconscious your wolf healed your body.”

“You should come in here. I’m having a hard time reaching my back. Plus, I can’t really hear you.”

Lex rolled his eyes but that didn’t stop him from stripping off his clothes in record time and getting into the enclosure with her.

“Here.” She handed him the soap and a washcloth and turned around.

He cleaned her back and tried not to think about how alluring she looked there, wet and glistening. Her scent rose on the steamy air and tempted his senses.

“So, you were saying that my wolf healed me? And okay, so you have to explain this a bit. I have a wolf? I mean, am I not a werewolf? It’s separate? And Gabriel was in the hospital for four days after he was bitten, he barely made it.”

“It’s difficult to explain but yes, you have a wolf. When you’re in human form it sort of curls up inside of you. It’s metaphysical stuff, I can’t do it justice. But it’s a part of you.”

She turned and tipped her head back, rinsing her hair. Her back arched and brought her into contact with his body and his body tightened.

“And uh,” he cleared his throat, “Rey wasn’t as strong as you are. I’m sorry, I realize that sounds cold, but it’s the truth and the reason why your body dealt with the conversion so quickly and healed so fast.”

She reached back and squeezed the water from her hair as she moved aside. “You want in here? I’ll scrub your back since you were so helpful.” She quirked up a saucy smile and he laughed.

“I’m good. I showered before I came to bed.” He stepped out and handed her a towel.

“Oh my! It’s warm. Did you just get it from the dryer or something?” She wrapped her hair and he gently patted her back and legs dry.

“The towel bars are heated, like the floors.” He was on his knees as he finished drying her legs. He looked up her body and caught her staring, lips parted, breath quickened.

“Uh, wow. Nice. The architect must be a smart guy who likes comfort.” An eyebrow went up.

“Well, he had no idea he’d have a beautiful mate to keep warm, but he’s glad he thought of it.”

“Okay, let’s stop talking in the third person now. Instead, I propose that you fuck me.” She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled him closer to her body.

“Nina…”

“Oh what now?”

“You’re still healing. We should wait.” Unable to help himself, he leaned in and inhaled, the rich scent of her body.

“Gah! You with the talking. Shut up and fuck me already! Your little mister certainly wants to.”