Engraven (10 page)

It may have already been too late.

She’d shown my mother the level of care and love that night that only I thought I was capable of.

She’d treated my mother with respect and as a priority.

She made that choice.

Easily, she could’ve been one of those girls that whined about having to change our plans. But instead, she included her best friend and then stopped what we were doing to console my mother when she needed me most.

A lot can be told about a person from the way they treat the elders of their kind.

A whole hell of a lot.

“She was in a lot of pain.” Dahlia nestled in next to me on the couch after Mom had finally gone to bed for a nap.

“She was. Thank you for your help. She does that sometimes—misplaces her medicine.”

“That must be tough. On the one hand, you want to keep her as independent as possible, but on the other, you have to be able to access her medicine and not take a chance on losing it.”

It was incredible how intuitive my mate was about these things.

“Exactly. I’m constantly on the fence between listening to her determination to do for herself and taking it all over for her. I don’t want to be that son, you know? The one who begins telling them how to live their life.”

“At the same time you don’t want her to hurt herself.”

“Yeah.”

With this girl, I was getting a little bit of everything. She was the tornado and the rescue crew. The red moon and the sunset. The hunter and the deer. The painter and the canvas.

The bite and the blood.

“Some date, huh?”

She crossed her left leg over my right one. “Dates are about getting to know each other, right? I mean, I’ve never done much dating, but I think that’s the gist.”

“You’ve never dated?”

“I’ve been out on a couple of dates, but they didn’t feel right. The whole thing felt off. What about you?”

“No. There was no point.”

Her long fingers picked at a thread on my jeans. “No point?”

“They wouldn’t have come close to you. There was no point in wasting my time—or hers.”

We both reveled in the silence. A gnawing in my stomach, one that didn’t belong to me, caught my attention.

“Why didn’t you say you were hungry?”

“Tarrow, I’m always hungry. You’re going to have to get used to that.”

I yawned, but tried like hell to stifle it.

“You took watch anyway last night, didn’t you?”

I hesitated, biting my tongue until it almost bled.

“Gross. Stop whatever that is, it’s making me sick.” She put her hand over her stomach.

“Yes. I took the shift. I feel like when I don’t, I’m letting them down.”

She turned on me as though I had lied to her. “At that clan dinner, everyone was talking about how you run too much, take on too many shifts, and work too hard. Anyway, is there that big of a threat?”

I told her about the history with the Coeur—about the kidnappings and how they were determined to use her for her healing powers and would use any means necessary to get to her. She listened through the story of Martha and how she’d offered herself up as bait to help catch them.

How it would never be over until the grizzly Alpha and his line were done.

“Security? That’s your reason for wanting to stay in a clan? We can protect each other.”

She meant every word of that last sentence. The words penetrated me down to the marrow.

“I know we could, but it’s more than that. It’s the history. It’s who we are as shifters. Black bears are usually loners, but as shifters, our human sides like community. You do too. You and your family are a clan.”

“We are not a clan.”

She began to argue, but my phone rang, once again interrupting us.

“Alpha.”

I paid attention to the conversation, but mostly my thoughts were focused on my mate rolling her eyes. She thought I couldn’t see.

“Would you mind going to the Alpha’s house? They’re getting the nursery ready.”

“I guess this is part of my clan education?”

“I’m just going where I’m needed.”

She stood up and faced me as I stood in turn. I took her hands in mine, bringing her even closer to me. Honeysuckle filed my nostrils and if I didn’t know better, I’d think she was made of the swamp itself. I could feel the pull of it within her, like it called to the both of us.

“And if I need you here? Right now?”

Cinnamon eyes demanded my attention.

“Then I’m yours. Are you ever going to trust that?”

She dropped her gaze to the floor and leaned against me, forehead to chest.

“This is hard. I always thought I’d find my mate, we’d build a cabin somewhere and run in the swamp together. End of story.”

My heart bled out hearing how different her version was from reality.

“If you want that—we can make that happen.”

Her heart with mine skipped a beat.

“We don’t have to figure this out today.”

Her restlessness stemmed from more than just childhood fantasies unrealized. She longed for the run—for her bear to be released.

Our bears can often overrun our human sides. They could exhaust us with their incessant demands.

That was why it was so freeing to shift.

Our human sides were weak. They took the backseat without hesitation.

“I know. How about we go and help the Alpha and then you and I go for a run? You need the run and my bear needs to run with his mate—badly.”

“She needs him too. Me, we need you. Not like this, like…”

I rubbed circles along her back. “I know, love. I need you like that too.”

Dahlia leaned on me all the way to the Alpha’s house. I wanted her to see the Alpha and the Coeur in action. They weren’t perfect, but they were true to each other.

“Come in.”

I hadn’t expected Rev to be there. In fact, I’d hoped to hide him from ever seeing Dahlia.

“Rev. If you’re here, why do I need to be here?”

“For the free labor, of course.”

Again, Rev refused to acknowledge my mate or even say a simply ‘hello’.

But in front of the Coeur wasn’t the place to address such a matter. She had enough to worry about.

“Of course. That’s all I’m good for.”

“Finally, he gets it.” Sometimes Rev was so dry-humored, I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

“What should I do? Can I help?” Dahlia squeezed my hand as she spoke.

“Actually,” the Alpha spoke, “I was hoping you could keep my mate busy. She’s in a lot of discomfort and she’s micro-managing the furniture building. I’m afraid she’s been on her feet too much today.”

The Coeur’s feet looked more swollen than I’d remembered.

“Of course. I’d love to know more about the clan anyway.”

“Root, you’re not helping her? Typical.”

Rage boiled under my skin. I could feel the tips of my ears redden with hot anger. It was one thing to constantly nag me in private, but to humiliate me in front of my mate was unacceptable.

“Actually, he’s been trying. But it seems we can’t get through a date or even a phone call without him being called in to substitute for some irresponsible clan member.”

Every eye in the room widened.

It was everything I wished I’d said so many times over.

And so much I would’ve never said.

She retracted almost immediately. “I’m sorry. I’m afraid my opinion of clans is tainted by a lifetime of opposition to them from my father. But it’s the truth nonetheless.” No one spoke or breathed. “I’m going to step outside for a moment.”

I watched her go but couldn’t face the three pairs of eyes now staring me down.

There would be no apologies.

I couldn’t be prouder.

Dahlia

I’m going to mate purgatory and have a pre-paid ticket thanks to my big mouth.

I can’t believe I’d just said that. It couldn’t be helped. I was aggravated and not just by the need for Tarrow’s clan to use and abuse him.

I needed time with my mate—not with my sister—not with anyone else.

It began as a simmer, just a burn under the surface. The raw hunger my other side had for him—minute by minute it curled around me, taking over.

Apparently, the whole thing made me a little on edge.

Shit.

I needed to apologize.

“Oh no you don’t.”

I felt his presence behind me before he spoke. I fisted my shirt, hoping to hold my chest together in the event that he was disappointed or embarrassed by me. It wouldn’t be the first time someone was embarrassed by me. Hell, sometimes I embarrassed perfect strangers with my antics.

In his tone and through the bond we already carried, I felt nothing of the sort. I mentally searched for it.

And found nothing of the sort.

“It was rude. It was insensitive. I’m just—twitchy.”

“Twitchy? Is that what we’re calling it?”

I balled my hands into fists and rested them on my hips trying desperately to display some annoyance, though there was none in my heart.

“What would you call it?”

Trapping me in his stare, he stepped toward me. I couldn’t have moved, even if I’d wanted to. I tried like hell to look at the dimple on the side of his chin, but my eyes flipped up to his lips.

I was done for.

My mate, this irresistible man, drew his bottom lip in his mouth and slowly rolled it back, slightly biting down on it. Like he was warming up for something.

Like he was warming it up for me.

“I would call it the best feeling in the world. It’s more than you wanting me. It’s a…”

“Yearning.” I swear my bear said that for me.

“Yeah. Exactly.”

“I still need to apologize. It was uncalled for.”

“No, actually, it wasn’t. It was totally called for. I’m so glad you said something. Now they know not to mess with my female.”

I bunched some of my skirt in my right hand, bracing myself for the onslaught of pride that little phrase brought to me.

His female.

Tarrow’s mate.

He was mine.

And I was his.

“So, what, we just go in there like nothing happened?”

“I am. Rev and Hawke have gone upstairs to start on the changing table or whatever. The Coeur is downstairs waiting for you.”

I groaned. “She’s not pissed.”

He chuckled and it made my stomach pull taut. “I think her exact words were, ‘Proud as hell.’”

Just when I thought I knew the way things were.

“I can deal with ‘proud as hell.’”

“Good. And then you and I are running.”

“A little run?”

Just when I thought I’d untangled myself from his snare, he smiled and it must’ve changed gravity because I swayed with the impact.

“What time do you have to be home?”

I choked on my words. “I—I don’t. My parents and I had a talk. They apparently trust you with me and I’m not expected home at any certain time.”

He made a sound that reminded me of a kid who put cake in his mouth. “I’m sure we can find a way to spend our time wisely.”

“Find a way that’s not on my porch, Beta.”

On tiptoes, I looked over Tarrow’s shoulder to see the Alpha laughing and going back into the house. Maybe he wasn’t so bad, but that other one was not my favorite.

“Come on, let’s get this over with so I can relieve your twitchiness.”

Oh Creator, help me.

We went inside and he was right about their female leader named Echo. She instantly began to high-five me and tell me it was about time someone put Rev in his place.

She wasn’t anything like what I’d expected.

From the stories my father had told me, plus my own made-up expectations, I’d thought she would be a subservient twit, living only to please her mate.

I was dead wrong.

“What do you do?” I blurted. Someone should really duct tape my mouth shut.

“Me? Right now I’m incubating this baby and trying not to look at my Walrus feet. But you didn’t mean that did you?”

I giggled at her candor. “No, not really.”

“Well, when I first got here I was determined to work and earn my keep. That was our first fight, kind of, about me wanting to work.”

I must’ve made a face because she gently slapped my forearm. “Oh, I see I’m not the only one. Wanna talk about it?”

I looked up and cringed. I knew the boys could hear everything we were saying. All they had to do was pay a little bit of attention.

“Let’s go sit on the porch swing. Between the distance and their arguing over where the parts go, we’ll be fine.”

“Echo,” the Alpha’s voice rang laced with concern.

“I’m fine, Hawke. Dahlia is going to take care of me. Won’t you?”

A force unknown stirred within me. Already I felt a tug of allegiance to the female I’d only met twice and barely knew.

“Of course I will.”

Then I did the weirdest, unpredictable thing I’d ever done in my life.

I bared my neck to the female in front of me.

It was out of my control.

And it felt—proper—right—fitting.

“Thank you, Dahlia.”

The Alpha nodded once and then left.

“This porch swing has heard all of the clan gossip. It’s like a confessional.”

Their house was far enough away to be secluded from the rest and private, while maintaining a position of availability. It was purposeful, I realized. The Alpha couple wanted to maintain their privacy and openness at the same time.

I didn’t speak at first. Honestly, I had no clue about how to begin.

“Did Tarrow tell you that you couldn’t work?”

I gasped with her question. If he’d done that, I wouldn’t be with him now.

Okay, yes, I would, but he would be in major trouble.

“No. I explained to him that I’d just graduated from school but hadn’t found a job yet. My parents told me I didn’t have to until I formally graduated next month, but I have six sisters. That’s a lot of mouths to feed.”

“And Tarrow said…”

“He said he had enough money to carry me until I found the job I wanted so I didn’t have to take just any old job.”

She shook her head and rubbed circles around her belly.

“And on the surface, it seems like he’s trying to pay your way.”

“And I pay my own way.”

She laughed. “Sounds just like me. Can I ask you something?”

I looked out to the clan and saw mothers playing outside with their children and fathers repairing things or planting gardens. At one house, the role was reversed, the children played basketball with their father while the mother plucked carrots from the ground.

“Of course.”

“Think about that scenario again. What does she say?”

She pointed to my chest, right between my clavicles. I knew who she meant.

“Tarrow said the same thing the night he brought me here to dinner.”

The black-haired beauty beside me nodded. “I still struggle with it. Our human sides question everything and their trust is finite. But our bears, their faith in the Creator is ever strong and their trust never falters. If
she
trusts him, then you should too.”

I thought about that night. She was right. My bear was never offended by the words of my mate. In fact, she was comforted by his level of worry and promise to keep me safe and secure. She reveled in his vow to take care of me.

Damn my human heart.

“I’m hungry again.”

“I can’t cook for shit.” I quipped back.

“That’s why the world has Martha. Have you met her yet?”

“I think I did at the clan dinner. But there were so many people.”

“Well, she was the one who did most of the cooking. And she has kept my refrigerator stocked for weeks since I can’t stand at the stove very long.”

“I’m a pro at microwaving food.”

“That’s my girl.”

I helped her to her feet which wasn’t as easy as it seemed with a woman who was very pregnant and a porch swing that didn’t give a damn.

We went inside and she sat at the table while I insisted on bringing her whatever she wanted. After her food was at the table, I scooted another chair beside the table for her to prop her feet onto. They seemed more swollen than before.

I observed her as we ate. Other than the leader of the clan thing, she and I were very much alike and I could easily be in her position in just a few years. There was nothing insecure about her, not even a fleck of it. She oozed safe and stable—things that I’d never been. She was confident in her place and as she spoke about her mate, her love spilled out from her words.

There was something inherently regal about this woman.

She must’ve gushed for half an hour about the baby and what it meant to her without one word about what it meant to the clan as a whole. I listened with an open heart.

Maybe this clan thing wasn’t so bad after all.

She only ate half of the food before the yawning started.

“You must be exhausted. Come on, couch or bed?”

“Couch, please. I can put my feet up better there.”

On our way there, she slung her arm over my shoulder. My mother had waddled just like her when she was pregnant with the little ones. I got her settled on the couch and she was asleep before I put the last pillows under her feet.

And then I looked up to meet the eyes of the Alpha and I swore a growl tore from him. I took a step back at the raw fear that shot through me.

“Don’t worry.” Echo’s hand reached out to soothe me as I stood in shock. “He’s honored. You’re very kind to someone you don’t even know.”

The Alpha came down and kneeled beside the couch, pushing aside long strands of hair from her face. I felt like I was a voyeur in a very intimate scenario.

“You are a part of this clan now, whether you would have us or not.”

He spoke to me, but his eyes never left his mate.

She winked at me before falling back to sleep.

“Thank you.”

“Dahlia, are you ready to go? I’m done now.”

That Rev guy interrupted. “You have runs tonight.”

Tarrow stood straighter. I could practically feel his backbone strengthening. “No, I don’t. I’ve asked Oak to fill in for me.”

Rev snorted. “He’s new.”

My mate smiled. He’d already won some unspoken war. “Then it’s about time he got trained and practicing.”

Even the Alpha couldn’t resist laughing at that.

Tarrow grabbed my hand and led me outside. “I’m all yours now. What do you want to do? Anything. Name it. What would you do if you weren’t at work or at school?”

I thought about it at length and though many scenarios came to mind, I needed somewhere safe, where I wasn’t constantly tempted to kiss my mate senseless—though that wouldn’t be a bad thing.

“I’d be at the art museum.”

“Really? Is it open?”

“Yeah. You really want to go there?”

“What? Don’t I look like an artsy fartsy kind of guy? I’m offended.”

I canted my head at him. He was not offended in the least. In fact, if I was inferring correctly, he hoped he looked nothing like an artsy guy.

“No you’re not. Let’s go. We have the rest of the afternoon and then tonight, we see who can run the fastest.”

“Easy. Me.”

This boy.

“We don’t have to wait for tonight. We could run now.”

A shudder ripped through him. “I’d rather have the cover of darkness. It’s hard enough without you being marked.”

“Okay.”

I couldn’t even conjure up an argument.

The second shift should’ve been like a second date—still a little awkward, but not enough to want to puke.

Scratch that.

We were behind my parents’ house again, since Tarrow had such an aversion to us running on clan lands without me being marked.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go first.”

I began to turn but he waved a finger at me. “How are you going to get the answer to your sister’s question without looking?”

He was right.

Damn him.

I probably should’ve been watching—for the place that I would bite him.

The thing was, the ability to tear my eyes away from him had left me.

He smirked and looked to the ground as he allowed his pants to fall to the ground.