Engraven (17 page)

“I’m really cute when I wear a dress.”

Creator bless this tiny female’s mate. He’d better be one hell of a male.

“I can imagine.”

“Let’s go. Mommy will paint my nails now to make me even happier!” She screamed the word happier, though I was sure Angel didn’t have nail painting on her agenda.

When we got back into the living room, Tarrow was at the door. I’d made him late.

“Are we late now?”

“It’s no big deal, but we should go.”

I told Angel it was nice to meet her, but I doubted she even heard me.

“Mommy! You have to paint my nails.”

That was the last thing I heard as we walked out the door.

“That was some good advice in there.”

Rolling my eyes, I questioned him. “You think so? That girl is going to be a handful.”

He wrapped his arm around my waist and tucked me into his side. “Those are the best kind.”

We walked to the back of his home which was secluded from view of the rest of the houses. They seemed to stagger their houses so that each had their own semi-private yard.

“Don’t be nervous. It’s going to be a good thing. I promise.”

He wouldn’t ask me to do anything that I would be uncomfortable with. I tried to repeat it over and over to myself.

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“Did I say that out loud?”

“Yeah. But you’re right. I’d never ask you to do anything like that. It might be out of the ordinary for you, but there’s nothing about this that warrants all that stress.” Tarrow had a face for when he was about to say something sexy. His eyes darkened. “You’re not upset about taking off your clothes in front of me, are you? I’ve seen most of you already. And eventually…”

“Eventually is not tonight and it’s not feet away from people I don’t know.”

He stepped forward. His scent took over my good sense. I was completely worthless and caught in his snare.

“Dahlia, eventually will be sooner than you think. Besides, I’ve watched you shift before and then the other night…”

He was just talking about our intimate moments like it was a regular topic.

I was so naïve about them.

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Yep.” And just to show him, I drummed up all of my bravery and reached for the hem of my shirt. Never leaving his gaze, unless a slip of fabric passed between us, I took it all off, right there, not even caring.

Oh shit, who was I kidding? I was shaking like a Chihuahua in a thunderstorm.

“I love how brave you are no matter how scared you become.”

“Your turn.”

I wasn’t as respectful as he was. My eyes left his as soon as his shirt was pulled off. I watched his shorts and boxers drop.

“Beat you to the Alpha’s house.”

Those were the last words he spoke before the shift took him over.  I watched in awe while the transition took place. And though he was the most handsome of males, he was also the most majestic of bears.

I dared anyone to argue.

I heard his bear in my mind, coaxing me to shift with him. It took me over quickly. I had always shifted faster than my sisters or even my parents. And I shifted as an infant. My mother didn’t know what to do. I’d go to sleep as a human and wake in the middle of the night as a cub.

I had been quite the unruly toddler.

Let’s go. We are already late.

Our communication was improving. I was sure it had a lot to do with the mark.

I’m on my way.

We gathered along with the others, listening to Hawke, who was already speaking. He updated everyone on the status of Echo’s pregnancy, sending her love-filled glances every chance he got. He spoke to the parents about making time for their children. He spoke to the children about minding their futures.

But mostly he spoke to the group as a whole about taking care of each other and taking care of the clan.

In his words, ‘A clan united is a clan prosperous.”

It sounded like some Star Trek shifter hoopla to me.

Oddly enough, my bear heeded his words, bowed to them like they were the gospel.

She knew he spoke sincerely and there was an underlying craving—she wanted to belong to these bears—to this clan.

She was a damned traitor.

Ready?

I sidled up to Tarrow and rubbed his side with mine.

I watched as the rest of the clan took off, together like a river flowing and then each pair or family branching off like streams separated by the rocks.

I backed up two steps, forcing my bear to be cautious. I didn’t even know why. She knew her trust level in this place. She knew that nothing would cause us harm here.

Humanity was the most untrusting state in the world.

Tarrow

The next days were a blur. I spent the days working, the afternoons helping Dahlia and her family move into my home, and the nights on patrol. The Alpha had become a bit paranoid about Echo being pregnant and her protection. It was a common fact that Echo was taken from her mother as a baby because of her healing abilities.

There was no way to tell if her cub would be gifted with the same abilities or not.

Keeping safer than sorry, we were diligent. We kept the lines watched, doubling and tripling our details every night.

It had to be done. Her life was as important as anyone else’s.

I was exhausted. I hadn’t spent much time with Dahlia.

The combination didn’t leave me very calm or patient.

“Can’t you take the night off? You’ve been gone every night for a week.”

“I can talk to Rev.”

I made the call and to my surprise was relieved for the night. It was a damned shame that Dahlia and I had Martha’s cabin all to ourselves, but I’d been gone, only getting three or four hours of sleep.

It sucked.

“I’m off for the night.”

“Good. I’m exhausted.”

I chuckled and pulled her against me as I leaned on the wall. “I’m off for the night and all you can talk about is sleeping. I was hoping to take my mate out on a date-get you out of here—and getting me out of here.”

“I’d love to go get dinner. Your mom’s cooking is phenomenal, no lie. But what’s a girl got to do for a cheeseburger and fries?”

I made a ‘hmm’ sound against her neck. “Bribe her mate?”

“Bribe you with what?”

I pulled back. “You smell different. What happened to the honeysuckle?”

It wasn’t a big deal, but I noticed and more fiercely, my bear noticed. On a base level her smell was the same, but the absence of our favorite smell threw me off.

“It all got lost in the move—a whole damned box of Acacia’s smelly stuff—gone. She almost pissed herself. So what’s this bribe?”

I shrugged. “There isn’t one. I was just seeing what I could get out of you.”

“Let me do something with this wild hair.”

I ran my fingers through it and got stuck three-fourths of the way down. I chuckled and had to force them loose. “See? Tangled mess.”

“I love it and I love you. Let’s go.”

She sprayed something in her hair and tried to wrangle it all into a bun while I grabbed my wallet and keys. We went out to a burger place my dad used to take me to when I was a kid—when he still could.

"That was the best.” She said once we were back home and settled.

“He used to take me there all the time. It was like a father and son thing. I can’t wait to have that with my…” I trailed off. My mate couldn’t even tell me she loved me yet and I was jumping the gun all the way to children. It was painful for her not to return the words, but inside, I knew she loved me.

She wasn’t facing me. Instead, she looked out the back window that faced the lands which marked the edge of our property. “Finish what you were saying, Tarrow.”

“I was saying that I can’t wait to do that with my son or daughter or all of them. Make up for what I missed with mine.”

The surge of pride nearly knocked me over. Dahlia acknowledged me with a sigh. It was as though she didn’t have the words in her mouth to ever match what was going on in her soul.

Such a tragedy.

Sometimes a guy just needed to hear the damned words.

Especially a guy like me.

“Is that something you expect right away?”

I rolled my eyes, well aware that she couldn’t see me. She operated under the presumption, no matter how much I tried to smash it, that all I wanted from her was babies and cooking.

It was like trying to convince someone from New York that people from Louisiana didn’t have to take a boat to the grocery store. They simply didn’t get it.

“It will happen when the Creator wants it to. But if you want to delay, that’s fine.”

“It sounds like you’re fine with it.” It was sarcasm—and not the funny kind. I couldn’t help the irritation in my tone. No matter what I suggested or talked about—when it came to us, she hesitated and put things off.

For a second, I wondered if she really needed me at all. Would she put off our mating ceremony further? Would she put off the building of our home?

“I’m going for a walk. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I’m glad you saved it for the only night we’ve had alone this week.”

Before I could turn around and stop her, she was gone. The frustration was building in her as well. She had enough to worry about without me piling on more of my baggage.

It shouldn’t be like this.

Mating was supposed to be an easy, happy time.

That’s what I thought anyway.

I debated chasing after her before giving up and deciding against it. She was marked at least, so there was no worry while she was on clan lands. Any male would be able to smell me on her—that she was a mated female—or a partially mated female.

I cleaned up the cabin while she was gone. The place looked like a scene from one of those teen romances my mom watched where the girl, while deciding what to wear, threw clothes to every side of the room. The mirror was covered with her hanging scarfs to the point where I doubted she could even see her reflection.

Laughing, I hung everything back up and made the bed—what for, I didn’t know, something to help me pass the time.

The cabin had a front porch and since I wouldn’t be able to sleep while she was gone, I made a pot of coffee and went to the porch to sit and wait for her.

Three cups of coffee and she still wasn’t back.

I called her phone and she didn’t answer.

“Mom?” She always answered the phone, no matter what.

“Hello, Tarrow.” My mom never had a clipped tone with me.

“Have you seen Dahlia?”

“I have.”

Oh shit.

“She’s there?”

“She is.”

“Fine.”

“I heard that’s your favorite word tonight, son. Might want to think that over.”

And then my mom did something she’d never done to me in my life—she hung up on me.

Instead of running to her and begging on my knees for her forgiveness, my humanity refused, sitting there for hours stewing. He was a stubborn bastard.

“Just tell me what’s going on. I don’t understand. Everything with you is jumbled and I hate it. I swear, I could take the entire world crashing down around me as long as we were okay.”

Dahlia’s voice startled me and woke me from my sitting sleep in an instant.

It took me a minute to process her words, during which she used to get more vexed.

“That’s the same thing I want. I just want us settled.”

“I think our definitions of settled are different.”

Redness from crying left her eyes pinkish and bloodshot. Her cheeks were flushed from the onslaught.

“I think our expectations are getting in the way of our joy.”

“For example…”

I sighed. “For example, your constant expectation of me to be some macho pig who wants his mate to be a submissive, pregnant in the kitchen type is severely skewing your ability to see me and accept me for who I am. You keep putting me in a box that I didn’t make and I don’t fit in.”

I kicked the coffee cup off the porch during my speech. “Pick that up, woman. Don’t just stand there.” Her haunches raised as she put both fists on her hips. “See what I mean? Think about it, would I ever talk to you like that in seriousness? No. I never, ever would. You can’t even appreciate my sarcasm properly because you’re too hung up on your dad’s old stories of someone else from some other time.”

It took her a minute.

Maybe two.

Finally, she bowed her head and her shoulders shook. I jumped up, thinking I’d finally done it. I’d finally made her cry and I wanted to beat my head against a tree for it.

I should’ve listened before I leapt.

She was laughing her ass off.

“I nearly kicked you in the nuts. I swear, Tarrow.”

I didn’t’ know what I laughed at harder, her laughing when I thought she was crying, or my mate saying the word nuts.

“Well, that would’ve been fun, not.”

We stopped laughing and she’d slumped against me. She was so tired, not only in her body, but inside—she was tired of thinking, tired of feeling bad.

“You’re exhausted.” I bent down and scooped her up, carrying her inside.

“Hey, you’re tired too. I think it’s making me twice as tired.”

After laying her on the bed, I slipped off her sandals, bright copper with a silver flower on top. She watched me the whole time and wriggled when I tickled her feet.

“You cleaned.”

“I was upset and waiting for you to come back. It kept me busy.”

“I can’t sleep in this.” Her words became more and more slurred, like she was drunk on sleepiness. She got up and pushed past me lazily, sorting through one of her bags to get pajamas on. I sat on the bed and took my boots off one by one. There was nothing that felt better than taking your shoes off at the end of a hard day.

Except watching your mate strip on the other side of the room.

She was so tired, she didn’t care. Shirt first, then one of those silly skirts—both were disentangled while she slipped her pajamas on at the same time. It was a sight to see.

“Damn, female, you are killing me. How many more days until our mating?”

“Um…seventeen. No, it’s past midnight. Sixteen.”

“Too long.”

Taking her lead, I shucked my socks and pants while she watched me in the mirror. Now that she could actually see in the mirror.

“Where did those come from? I’ve never seen those.”

I looked down at my Batman boxers and laughed. “They’re not new. I’ve got stuff you’ve never seen. Get over it.”

“I like those.”

“I’ve got Superman too.”

“Swoon.” I could feel her swooning before she said it.

“You’re dead on your feet. Get in bed.” Hands on her hips again. “I don’t care. My job is to take care of you when you’re obviously not taking care of yourself. In—bed—now.”

She grumbled all the way to the bed, something about overbearing mates.

I got in on my side and scooted toward the middle, on my side, facing her. She faced me, propped up on her elbow, but said nothing.

“I want to have kid with you, lots of them,” She said. I barely heard it.

“Right now?”

I got a slap on the shoulder for that one. Damn, she was a strong little sucker.

“That’s good to know. But if you want to work first or work after or whatever you want, I’m here. I know you’ll be a great mother.”

She beamed inside and out.

“Are you being serious? Our house will be a mess. I can hardly cook. I’m late—like incessant. I’ll probably be late for my own funeral. Our kid will be like the tardiest kid in the clan.”

I had some smarts, enough to ignore that little whisper of a future in the clan.

“That’s where your mate comes in. I’m not a mess, as you can see. I can cook. I’m never late, in fact, I’m notoriously early. And trust me, I had a perfect attendance record, our kids won’t be late for school.”

Her eyes grew big. “You had perfect attendance?”

“I did.” I saw the unasked question brewing, so I figured I would answer it. “My dad actually died two days after the summer started that year. I had the summer to get myself together.”

“Your mom misses him. She talks about him a lot.”

“I think we stopped talking about him—it hurt too much. I’m glad she can talk to you about it. Apparently that’s not all you two talked about.”

She laughed and hid her face in the pillow. “I was pissed.”

“No shit.”

Without looking at me, she moved closer, now resting her head on my outstretched arm. “You’re being very patient about me not—you know, talking about my feelings.”

“Not patient enough. I’m sorry about earlier. This whole mating thing seems so easy—happy. At least that’s what it looks like from the outside.”

“I’ve heard otherwise.”

I almost asked her what she meant by that, but she was keeping someone’s secret, I just knew it.

I knew she and Echo had talked, but I didn’t assume.

The Alpha and Echo’s mating had gone smoothly—I thought.

“How’s your dad and mom?”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk anymore.”

“I’m sorry, sleepyhead.”

“You talk.”

“You want me to lay here and talk to myself?”

“Talk to me—about the house.”

That I could do.