Ensenada Escapade: Destination: Desire, Book 6 (9 page)

“Hey.”

He froze in place, turning only his head to look at Hazel, who stood framed by her bedroom doorway. “Yeah?”

“I’ve always liked you, so I’ll give you fair warning.” She jammed her fists on her hips, managing to look fierce and a little mean, even in a ratty robe and bunny slippers. “You hurt my sister and I will damage you in ways you’ll still be feeling in the afterlife. Is that clear?”

Since he had a healthy respect for the creative evil the Kirby sisters could wreak, he decided a question was his safest response to her threat. “Do you give a warning to everyone she sleeps with?”

She sniffed. “Only the ones I think could break her heart.”

Oh. An unnamable emotion punched through him, and his pulse tripped. Nora’s sister thought he’d have the power to wound her. As in, doing more than irritate her. As in, making her love him. Jesus.

“I won’t. Break her heart. Not on purpose.” He offered a smile that felt more like a grimace. “She might break mine, though.”

“You’re a lawyer.” She arched a supercilious brow. “I’m sure you can talk her out of it.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” On more than one count. He’d been hoping that he could make Nora not hate him. Having the power to break her heart was a much more significant emotional involvement than not-hate.

“Do you love her?” She crossed her arms, her expression daring him to admit it.

“Yes.”

There, his deepest secret was out. The unnamable had a name. It wasn’t just lust, it wasn’t just that she reacted so beautifully to his needling, it wasn’t just that he hadn’t yet found a woman who ranked higher in his estimation. No woman ever would. He’d been fooling himself if he ever thought otherwise. Nora was it for him. Anyone else would be a poor substitute.

Considering she’d only just this morning allowed that he might occasionally be a nice man, he doubted even his lawyering skills would help him talk her into reciprocating his feelings.

“You should tell her,” Hazel insisted. “And say you’re sorry for being an ass all these years. She needs to hear things like that and know you mean them. We’ve had too many years of Dinah apologizing for her bullshit and then doing the same thing the next day. Too many years of not saying the controversial thing for fear of setting the drama llama mama off.”

A grin kicked up the corner of his mouth. “Nora prefers when people are sensitive about what they say.”

Hazel shook her head. “You can be forthright without being mean or rude. Never confuse sensitivity with dishonesty. Trust me, Nora doesn’t. If she feels something needs to be said, she will. She’ll be kind about it, but she won’t hold back with the truth.”

“I know.” He forked his fingers through his hair. “Though she’s less gentle with me than others. I’ve earned that, I guess.”

“Yep.” She appeared unsympathetic. “She’d be nicer to you if she knew you wouldn’t verbally attack her.”

“Yeah.” How the hell had he gotten himself into this mess? It had started so many years ago, and he’d been getting deeper and deeper into the mire ever since. This was insane.

“Apologize. I think she’d be willing to forgive you.”

He met her gaze squarely, speaking with all the bluntness Nora hated about him. “The problem is, I’m not sure I’m entirely sorry.”

Hazel’s eyes narrowed. “Hurt her and—”

“I heard you the first time. That’s not what I meant.” He held up a hand to ward off more threats. “I regret some of my behavior, but not all of it. Some of the stuff she’d think I should be sorry for, I’m not.”

She seemed to consider that for a moment before she nodded slowly. “Tell her. Have an honest conversation. Unless you don’t want a future with her, because I’m guessing she thinks this is a fluke and you’ll go back to the status quo when you return to HMB.”

“No.” God, that was the last thing he wanted. It would kill a part of his soul to ever have her hate him again.

“Then you know what you need to do.” She tucked her hands into the pockets of her robe.

Nora appeared at the other end of the hallway. “What’s up?”

“Just saying my goodbyes to Ben.” Hazel gave him a sunny smile that belied the psychological wringer she’d just put him through. “Come give me a hug and then go away.”

“Love you too.” Nora walked by him and embraced her sister. They whispered a few things he didn’t catch, but he was fairly sure his name was in there somewhere.

Yeah, that didn’t freak him out.

Priya’s door flew open and she braced herself against the jamb, her hair standing up straight in places. “Are you leaving?”

“Yep, we’re getting on the road.” He tipped his chin in the direction of the front of the apartment. “I stocked your kitchen with bland food. No shopping for you for at least a week. Just focus on getting better.”

“Oh, you’re the best, mate.” She stumbled over and hugged him. “I’m so sorry I tossed a pavement pizza after you came all that way to get us.”

“Several pizzas.” He patted her back. “And thanks, I’ll never look at pizza the same way again.”

She snorted, let him go, and turned to Nora, who gave her a quick squeeze. “Don’t worry, Priya, you’re not the first person to toss pavement pizza on me.”

Priya pulled back, flabbergasted. “Fuck, I was hoping that part was a delusional bad dream.”

Ben hitched his duffel higher on his shoulder. “I washed out the barf—I refuse to call it pizza—so, no, not a dream, just bad.”

She closed her eyes. “For the second time in two days, I really want to crawl in a hole and die.”

Nora smoothed her wild hair. “Don’t even give it another thought. No harm done. I’m just glad you’re both on your feet this morning. Did you eat all your breakfast?”

Hazel and Priya nodded dutifully. Hazel said, “We’ll go to the campus clinic if we relapse in any way, we swear.”

“You have a lot more driving to do.” Priya made a shooing motion. “Get going.”

“We’ll call to check on you in a few hours.” Nora pinned them both with a serious stare. “You’d better answer.”

“She’ll turn the car around and come spank us,” Hazel whispered loudly to Priya.

“Oooh, do you promise?” Priya whispered back.

“And that’s our cue to leave.” Ben took Nora’s elbow and tugged her toward the living room. “Bye, ladies. It’s been…an experience.”

Chapter Seven

Nora blinked and pushed herself upright in the passenger seat, feeling groggy and not quite coherent. She was looking out at a wide expanse of ocean, but that didn’t make any sense. They were supposed to be somewhere in the Central Valley, which was endless miles of dry dirt, tumble weeds, cows and the occasional orchard.

She blinked twice before she concluded that, no, this wasn’t a dream. “Wha—? Where are we?”

Instead of answering the question, Ben replied, “I decided to take the scenic route home.”

“The scenic route?” She stared at him, still waiting for all the pieces to click into place.

He glanced at her, his fingers starting to tap across the steering wheel. “Highway 101, up the coast instead of inland.”

“But that’ll take longer.” Why on earth would he want to spend more time in the car? They were supposed to be racing home.

Then again…this meant they could continue with whatever it was they were doing. More kissing, more naked fun in the shower, more strip tease shows, more having him stroke his—okay, if she kept thinking about that she was going to have hot flashes. Returning home meant returning to reality, and in reality, they often didn’t get along that well, and he was almost never sweet, helpful, or kind to her.

Reality was an ugly bitch.

“True, it is longer this way.” He flipped on his blinker and started slowing down. “But I thought we could extend the trip for a bit and actually do something fun.”

“Fun?” Her mouth dried because the only fun she really had with Ben involved no clothes and lots of condoms.

He grinned, but his thoughts clearly didn’t follow hers because he said, “I know it seems like a foreign word after the traffic, barfing and Tweedle Dumb and Dumber, but I think we can figure it out. We’re smart people.”

Yeah, she’d rather not have been reminded about any of those details. She craned her neck as he took the next exit ramp. “So…where are we? Other than some town off the 101?”

“Carpinteria.” He turned left at the light, weaving his way along quaint tree-lined roads. “A little south of Santa Barbara.”

She lifted her eyebrows. “And you want to stop for lunch?”

“I want to stop for the night,” he corrected, turning on to a street with little restaurants and kitschy shops. “And then do some sightseeing tomorrow on the way home.”

“So by
a bit
you meant a whole extra day.” She pursed her lips and tried to calculate what time she needed to be back to be reasonably rested before she had to report for duty. “I do have to be home tomorrow. My hospital shift starts the next day.”

“No problem.” He blew out a breath, slowed the car, and then neatly parallel parked. “Were you desperate to get home?”

She tucked her hair behind her ear. “No…the only thing I’d have to do at home is maybe explain the road trip to Mom, and you know how much I’d like to avoid that.”

Shaking his head, he pulled the keys from the ignition and handed them to her. “Someday, you’re going to find a way to put me in a desirable category that doesn’t just barely edge out a session with the drama llama.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Isn’t it?” He slanted a doubtful glance her way, hit the button to pop the trunk, and stepped out of the car.

“No.” She met him at the rear of the vehicle, stuffing the keys into her purse. “I find you desirable in ways that have no reference—thank God—to my mother.”

He made a face, handed her bag to her, and then led the way to a charming gray-green cottage with a white picket fence and discreet sign that read Linden House.

The garden and yard were lush and manicured, with two loungers on one side.

“Is this a B&B?”

“Not exactly. You rent the whole house.” He knocked on the door before twisting the unlocked knob and stepping in. A woman came out of the back of the house and Ben went to have a quiet chat. They went into the next room, and Nora assumed she wasn’t invited so she stood in the entry looking around. The decor was beautifully beach-inspired, all white beadboard, wicker furniture, and pops of blue, teal and turquoise. The living room had a quirky chandelier hanging over the coffee table.

She loved it.

A wide grin had curled her lips by the time Ben returned, the other woman having presumably disappeared out the back door. He smiled back, flashing that dimple. “You like it. Good.”

“Seriously? We get the whole house?”

“The whole house.” He held up a key ring and jangled it a bit. “I called the owners while you were sleeping and it happened to be free for the night, which is nothing short of miraculous, so I took it as a sign we should stop.”

“Awesome.”

“There are two bedrooms upstairs, one with a couple of twin beds, the other with a couple of double beds. The master is downstairs and has a king.”

“A king? Such luxury. I don’t even have that at home.” She tapped her chest. “Queen size.”

“Really? Then you definitely get the master tonight.” He slid a hand in his pocket. “Whether you decide to share it with me is up to you.”

“No pressure, huh?” She liked that. There was very little doubt in her mind that he’d get an invite to share the big bed, but she appreciated that he’d given her a graceful way out if she wanted to take it.

“None,” he insisted, his gaze serious. Then his expression lightened. “There’s also a bonus room upstairs with a TV and chairs made out of surfboards.”

“Oh, I need to see that.”

“Let me give you a tour.” He dropped his bag at the foot of the stairs, but kept walking toward the back of the house. She followed suit, leaving her bag, and then found herself in a pale blue kitchen. He led her through a dining room with a fireplace, into a spacious bathroom, upstairs to the spare bedrooms, and into the surfboard chairs room. The white-and-blue color scheme continued throughout the home.

“It’s beautiful.” And huge for two people for one night. “I don’t even want to ask how much it cost, but I’m guessing it would break my piggy bank.”

He glanced back at her as they clomped down the steps. “It’s okay to splurge occasionally.”

Once she hit the ground level she walked around the living room to look out the windows. “We’re a frugal family. We had to be, with Mom so often out of work. She never managed to hold down employment for more than a few months at a time, always certain something else was her true calling. Anne had two jobs to help us make ends meet until Hazel, Cami and I were old enough to get after-school jobs and share the load. I don’t ever want to live hand to mouth again.”

His brow furrowed as he came to stand beside her. “There’s a big age gap between Anne and the rest of you. Ten or eleven years, right?”

“The gap between Karen and you is just as big,” she pointed out.

“True. My parents had fertility issues.” He bumped her shoulder with his. “What’s your parents’ excuse? You, Cami and Hazel are stairstep children.”

She tried to smile, but it felt tight and unnatural. “My parents split up, had joint custody of Anne, and…honestly, I think Dad took Mom back to give his daughter a more stable home life. I suspect Mom got pregnant with the rest of us to make sure he never got it into his head to leave her again. Yes, she’s really so codependent she can’t live without someone to support her. Emotionally and financially.” She gave a laugh, the sound far more bitter than she’d intended. “So, she didn’t really want us, and it always showed. She loved us in her way, but that’s not the same as loving a child you were excited to have. We were a means to an end for her.”

“I’m sorry.” He put an arm around her. “I knew about her codependence and how she mooched off of Anne after your dad died and was no longer moochable.”

“Thank God for Anne,” she said fervently. “I try to make sure she knows how grateful I am for all the sacrifices she made so that we three girls could have a normalish childhood, but it’s not enough.”

He squeezed her against his side, his tone gently teasing, “And she doesn’t really let you thank her because she’s a Kirby and thus can’t take a compliment to save her life.”

A direct hit. She wrinkled her nose. “You do what you have to do for the people you love, and you don’t expect them to grovel in gratitude for it.”

“Like Anne supporting her family for a decade, and you with Hazel this week.” His eyes widened. “Oh, and you with Cami when she got into that car accident.”

“Shut up, Hudson.”

“Sure.” He pulled her into his embrace, stopping any further conversation with his lips.

Now there was a way to end an argument that she could get on board with. She slipped her fingers into his silky hair, feeling the slight burn of his stubble scraping over her skin as he changed the angle of the kiss. Their tongues tangled, and he slipped his hands down her back to cup her ass. She arched into him, rubbing her breasts across his chest. Excitement twisted within her, the sharp build of desire that was becoming familiar, addicting.

Breaking the kiss, he staggered back a few steps, breathing hard. “You’re a dangerous woman, Nora Kirby. I intended to keep my hands to myself at least until after dinner.”

“Carbing up. Good idea.” She glanced at the bright, early afternoon sunshine. “We haven’t had lunch yet though.”

“Exactly.” He nodded firmly, taking another step away from her, as if she was too much temptation from this close. “I want to prove that we can be in the same space, when there’s no crisis, without arguing or sexing it up.”

No sex. What? She crossed her arms. “I’m not sure I like this plan.”

“I’ll make it up to you tonight. I promise.” He offered up a winning smile. “If you decide to share your room with me.”

“This no sexing it up rule has to go.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not a piece of meat, Kirby. Plus, we’re going out. I like getting laid as much as the next guy, but I do draw the line at getting arrested for public indecency.”

“Bad for a lawyer’s rep, huh?” She made her tone overly sympathetic, and he rubbed the spot between his eyebrows. Just to yank his chain a bit more, she added, “We’re doing really well at this not arguing thing.”

He dropped his arm and glared at her. “I’m doing my part. You could help me out.”

Okay, his tone annoyed her. She lifted her chin. “Like you’ve done to me all these years? What, don’t you enjoy antagonism?”

His attitude level cranked down a notch and he had the grace to look sheepish, though still a little aggrieved. “You have a point, but I’m trying to do better.”

“You’ve been remarkably less obnoxious the last couple of days,” she conceded. “But we were either in the middle of an emergency or in the middle of nookie, and you wouldn’t have gotten the second if you’d been an ass for the first.”

Sighing, he rolled his shoulders like he was trying to relieve the tension there. “Would it help if I apologized for being such a dick to you back in junior high? I had a huge crush on you then, but I didn’t know how to show it without acting like a world-class moron.”

Her mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. In truth, she had no idea what to say. He’d been an ass because he liked her? It was the worst kind of cliché—she wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. Or maybe punch him for making her tween life miserable as often as he could. And he’d actually had a crush on her?

“What about all the years since middle school? You’ve continued with the same sort of behavior. Not quite as bad, I admit, but you’ve never exactly been nice to me.” She held up a hand. “Not counting the last couple of days.”

“I know you’d like me to apologize for antagonizing you, but I won’t because I’m not sorry.” His jaw set mulishly, but something in his gaze looked…worried? Scared? “While it wasn’t the most mature thing I’ve ever done, it was the only way I could get you to stop giving me the silent treatment. Plus, you go off like a firecracker at the slightest provocation from me, which I find incredibly hot. You can hate me for that if you want to…but I hope you don’t.”

“Did you ever think about maybe being nice to me?” She kept her tone as even as she could, not wanting to attack, but not sure how on earth he’d decided nastiness was the right approach.

“Yes. You ignored me.” His lips twisted in a bitter smile. “The fact that you don’t even remember my effort says it all, doesn’t it?”

“Your singular effort?” She shook her head, her thoughts spinning, not sure how to process everything he’d thrown at her. “Didn’t it ever occur to you that I had every right to ignore someone who’d treated me badly in the past? I was forced to take enough crap from my mother growing up, why should I have to put up with it from you? Not just once, but for years. Why didn’t you just leave me alone?”

“Because I never got over you, damn it!” he snapped. His eyes went wide as if he’d stunned himself as much as her. Sucking in a breath, he ran trembling hands through his hair, leaving furrows behind. “Because I needed your attention and that was the only way I could get it. And, yes, I realize exactly how childish and stupid that sounds. I tried to stop myself a million times, but every time you were near some part of me just had to engage. I just…needed you to see me.” He released a shaky breath. “I feel like the last couple of days have been the first time ever that you’ve really seen the man I grew into and not some shithead tween.”

She rocked back on her heels, so many feelings careening around inside her that she couldn’t even think. Disbelief, anger, shock, hurt, and something a lot sweeter than all of those emotions. She pressed a hand between her breasts. “I…I don’t even know what to say. I’m going to need some time to consider all of this before I can give you a real reaction.” Tears welled in her eyes, but even she wasn’t sure why. “I’m going to go for a walk.”

His face became inscrutable. “Okay. The beach is just at the end of Linden Avenue. Or you can walk up the street and check out the shops.”

Bobbing her head in a nod, she slipped past him and grabbed her purse. “Please…don’t think I’m trying to be mean about—”

“I won’t,” he replied. A wry smile curled his lips, but pain filled his gaze. “Thanks for being sensitive about my feelings.”

A choked sound escaped her, somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and she fled from this whole confused mess. What scared her the most was that the thought that kept coming back to her was…did he actually see the grown up her or was sleeping with her some kind of teenaged wish fulfillment?