Entwined With the Dark (29 page)

I didn't love Lutin, I never had. And he'd done some truly devious and hurtful things. But he'd been full of Light and mischief that had somehow called to me. I couldn't explain it, but a small part of myself died tonight as well.

I rested his hand on his destroyed chest. I gently closed his lids and straightened what I could of his torn and tattered clothes, then I stood shakily to my feet and stepped back.

"Let him go," I instructed Sebastian and instantly felt a wash of something earthy brush past my sides.

Colours, that could only have existed in
Álfheimr
, began to swirl around him and then in a smell of new season peaches he disappeared. Both Sebastian and I stood in silence and then he turned and walked to his fallen dragon's side. I wanted to ask if Lutin could be resurrected by his kin, if their magic was strong enough to raise the dead. But I already knew the answer, because in my heart he was most definitely gone. I hadn't realised the
kvángask
had formed any kind of connection between us. But then maybe it hadn't been that at all. Aliath had said when Lutin reversed my joining to Michel, he had swapped a part of himself in its place instead.

Whatever it was, he was gone and I knew it. He would never be hunting me again. But then maybe Isoleth would. I was responsible for her son's death this night, even if it wasn't me who landed the killing blow. I wondered if fairies thought the same as vampires, the punishment is in the offence. Excuses meant little, if the deed was in any way connected to you. Lutin's death was most surely connected to me.

I turned and was surprised to see the dragon that had looked so dead was now in human form and moaning. Sebastian tending to his wounds. I felt an awful weight land in the centre of my chest at the knowledge that Lutin hadn't actually killed tonight, only defended himself against a stronger enemy. Yet I had gone against him as though he had. I sunk to my knees, guilt assuaging me and immediately felt Michel in my mind. Soothing, comforting, calming. He didn't talk, he didn't send a thought at all, just his strength and love and understanding.

I felt infinitely tired and sad, and suddenly wanted my vampires very much. And some bizarre part of me wanted Michel's London house as well. In all its Victorian Gothic monstrosity. If I couldn't have him, then I'd take the blasted dreary house.

Suddenly a pop sounded in the air and Aliath appeared at my side. I yelped, Sebastian cursed and Gigi bared her fangs with a hiss. That girl just couldn't get a handle on her vampire reflexes. It made me kind of laugh.

"Princess," the fairy said, crouching down and assessing my wounds.

"I'm not a princess anymore," I said quietly as he muttered a few words and waved his hands over my body. Pain washed away, even the cuts and bruises that Avery had inflicted disappeared. A small part of me wondered why the hell he hadn't done it before, when he'd been with us in Paris. I pushed that sullen side of me away and decided I'd be grateful for small mercies. I had been friggin' aching and now only felt tired. Things were looking up.

"His death does not remove your title," Aliath said, still concentrating on his healing work.

"It won't protect me either," I muttered, thinking of Isoleth's rage.

Aliath finished what he was doing and sat back on his heels. "No, probably not. But it is the
Nathair-Sgiathach
she will ultimately blame. It is by his hand her only son was felled."

Sebastian said a few harsh words in Gaelic and then helped his fellow shifter to his feet and walked away. I shook my head in disbelief. I had no idea if he and I were
friends
now, having
f
ought side by side. Or whether he was still the enemy, spying on me at the Champion's request. And now, the Queen of the
Ljósálfar
would be hunting him. And there was no way I could let him take that blame alone.

I looked up at Aliath and then quickly shifted my gaze away. I wasn't sure if my Light shields were strong enough to keep the fairy's influence out.

"I would never harm you, Princess," he said softly, then looked over his shoulder at the waiting Nothus, who hadn't said a word since she arrived. "I must return Georgia to her life. She has fulfilled her side of the bargain." Her side of what bargain? I blew a breath of air out, I wasn’t going there again. "Your guards are about to arrive," he said looking again at me. "I'm sure this won't be the last time our paths cross." He smiled mischievously, with his vivid green eyes it reminded me of Lutin. "I couldn't be that lucky."

Before I had a chance to reply, he grabbed hold of Gigi and disappeared.

I sat amongst the rubble of a destroyed building, flames slowly flickering out all around, and spent a moment praying for Lutin. I couldn't be what he had wanted. I couldn't give him what he had longed for. And in the end all I did was bring about his death.

I hadn't expected to be relieved that he was gone, relieved that this part of my life was all over. Aliath had said I was still a Princess of
Álfheimr
. I didn't believe him, but more importantly, I didn't care. I was no longer Prince Lutin's
elska
and for me that was the greatest thing to come from tonight's disastrous events.

I stood to my feet as my guards swarmed towards me, streaks of colours as they flashed to my side. And I looked up into the night sky of London and felt myself smile - a sad, but undoubtedly relieved smile.

I'm sorry, Lutin. Really I am. But I am just so happy not to be tied to you anymore.

Was that wrong of me? Did that make me a bad person to see such good in amongst such a bad act?

No,
Michel insisted.
Never. Tu es la petite lumière, ma douce. You will always be of the Light.

I prayed he was right.

I slept for eighteen hours, comforted by the smell of Michel in the linen of his bed. I had never been so happy to see Christopher and the dark and scary looking house, as I had the night before. Nataliya had helped me undress, ran a shower and tucked me in. And for the first time in weeks, neither of my
Tego Texi Tectum
slept near my side.

They would no doubt return to their duties before long, as Isoleth began her campaign for revenge. But tonight, I gave them a break. Insisting that even the Queen of the Light fairies would be too deep in mourning to strike just yet.

I slept like the dead myself. No dreams, no nightmares, just blissful, much needed rest. When I awoke the shutters were up, the clock clearly stating how long I had slept. A whole day and some of the next night. I yawned and stretched my body and rolled over on my side. I had to blink several times before he came into focus. And then with a squeal I was wrapped up in his heavenly arms.

"Michel!" He laughed when I launched myself at him, then proceeded to kiss me as though he'd hadn't seen me for weeks. I pulled back to get a good look at him, trying to determine if he had been harmed at all.

"I am fine,
ma douce
," he said, chuckling. "No duels, just words were my battles of late."

I relaxed a little knowing he hadn't had to fight his way out of any tricky situations and then stiffened as I realised our time was nearly up and the Champion would be expecting a result.

"We are royally screwed, aren't we?" I said, tucking myself under his chin.

"Maybe, maybe not," he replied cryptically. "But first, are you OK?" His voice softened at the end, his hand brushing my hair tenderly off my face.

I sighed. Was I? I had wanted Lutin dead and now he was. If I was honest, I was more shocked at my relief to no longer be connected to him, than I was at his death. And that scared me.

"Lucinda," Michel began, "he put you through hell. Any sympathy you have for the man is due to the call of your Light by his. And that is OK. But, he deserved what happened. If not by
Nathair-Sgiathach,
then by my own hand."

A part of me was relieved Michel had not been the one to kill Lutin. That turmoil of emotions I currently felt about his demise would be ridiculously confusing if I had to come to terms with that. Sebastian had acted for his own reasons, I still wasn't sure what they were. But he could have let Lutin retreat at any time. He could have turned away and abandoned me. His choices - and I wouldn't waste my time figuring them out. But I was pleased it had been the dragon-shifter and not Michel to land that final blow.

And how horrid it had been.

"Don't think on it,
ma douce
," Michel whispered. "It is over now, it is done. To dwell will change nothing." He took a breath in and slowly released it. "I was worried," he admitted, nuzzling his nose in my hair.

I tightened my arms around him, but didn't say a word. I'd been a little worried there for a while too. I think both of us were relieved right now. I sat up straighter.

"Is that why you're here?" I asked. "Because you're worried? Shouldn't you be politicking or something, we're running out of time."

He smiled up at me, then shifted me into a more comfortable position on his lap.

"Things may not be as bad as they seem." Then he frowned. "Well, at least for our immediate predicament."

I pulled back and looked at him. He looked tired, but relaxed. More so than I would have expected with the Champion's time limit running out.

"War has started with the
Ljósálfar,"
he said softly.
"The Champion is getting desperate. She no longer has any choice but to find a solution to your joining. Destroying you is, for now, out of the question."

Even with the connection Nut had placed between us, the Champion had obviously been counting on snuffing me out. Hearing Michel speak about it so casually was a jolt to the system. Then the meaning of all his words came crashing in.

"Even if the joining
can
be repaired, we can't have the portals closing," I said with a resigned sigh. If the portals to
Álfheimr
closed, the charm Sofiq had placed on me would be activated. And I would be back at the
Dökkálfa
Royal Court with no way home.

"One problem at a time,
ma douce
. I can keep the portals open without the Champion being aware it is me, but if we do not fix the joining then the portals will be irrelevant. As long as the Champion believes there is a possibility that your power will solve the current situation, she will keep you alive."

I stood up and started pacing, throwing my hands up in the air. "But what's the point, if it all ends up the same? A repaired joining won't give her what she wants. It's merely a delay."

He smiled sexily at me, a beautiful, luscious curve to his lips. "Did I say repair the joining? I meant reverse it."

"What? Lutin's dead and Aliath refuses to do it. I'm not 'in' with any other royal fairies enough to ask, but I think we can safely say we're shit out of luck on
that
."

Michel rose in a fluid motion, all sinuous muscles and lithe frame. Then proceeded to glide towards me. The smile only getting bigger the closer he came. My heart picked up speed, jumping right into my throat. I suddenly felt like his dinner, the prey the predator stalks.

"
Ma douce
, there is more than one way to skin a cat, as they say." Oh, so not a good choice of metaphor.

"Michel," I squeaked as he caught hold of me, his face tipping sideways so he could nuzzle my neck. He nipped at the skin there with blunt teeth, a teasing motion that made me jump. My heart rate tripled and yet I could never be afraid of this man. But he did make life interesting.

He chuckled. "You no longer run,
ma belle.
But I am
so
glad I can make your heart beat at such a rate." He wrapped his arms around me, kissing his way up to my ear. He nibbled there for a moment and then whispered, "The Ambrosia believes he can reverse the joining. I have spent the past day in his chambers discussing a plan."

He spun me out in a dance movement unexpectedly, then twirled me back into his arms. His eyes were alight with magenta, his face shining with what could only be called glee. Michel was high on something and it had an immediate effect on me. I laughed as he spun me again, then danced with me around the room. I had no idea what he was so happy about, but it made me want to be happy too.

Finally he stilled me, his arms securely wrapped around my frame. He leaned his forehead against mine and inhaled deeply.

"I am excited," he said unnecessarily. I just giggled against him, making him smile further. "We only have to convince the Champion that it can be done. The Ambrosia has said he will refuse to attempt it, unless it is you and I who are joined. The Champion would not force him on this, he holds too high a regard."

He leaned back and started laughing, then shook his head from side to side as though he couldn't believe his luck.

"Think,
ma douce
! If we are joined together again, I will be strong enough to stand against the Champion. There will be none stronger than me."

Oh, I wanted to be delighted, to be as excited and happy as him. I wanted to dance and sing and yell it to the world. Joined with Michel again! I had never thought to hope of such a thing.

But, Michel spoke of power like it was a drug. It was something he craved above all else. Even me. I had loved him despite that. But his words now scared me.
There will be none stronger than me.
Those few words cast a shadow over my happiness, but I refused to let him see. He was so excited at the prospect, so happy to be getting the power back he had lost when the joining had been reversed. How could I let him see my reservations, my fears, at what this could lead to?

One problem at a time, he had said. And right now, we needed the Champion to believe. And if I had to join with someone other than Avery, then there would be no choice at all. It was easy. I would always choose him. I just wished he hadn't spoken of power with such open hunger.

I attempted a bright smile, his face faltered for a split second, but then recovered. I was never good at acting, he'd seen my lack of enthusiasm, but had decided to pretend like me.

"Are you hungry?" he asked in a level voice, all evidence of excitement contained.

I shook my head and turned toward the bathroom. My heart no longer rapidly beating, instead it was somewhere near my feet. I'd made it a couple of steps when he spoke again.

"You wanted open communication, Lucinda. It goes both ways." I turned towards him and watched as he ran a hand through his hair. "I'll be downstairs if you want talk about this. Come and see me, when you're ready to
communicate
what it is that has you so upset."

He walked from the room without a backwards glance. What had I been thinking? Even when I hid my thoughts and tried to act a certain way, he
knew
me. We didn't need a joining or Bond, we didn't need anything supernatural to connect. Michel
knew
me so well, just because we were in love.

I stood silently still for several seconds and then sighed. He was right, of course. He's always right, even when I think he's wrong, he ends up being right. I let a little breath out on a laugh. I
had
wanted open communication, but how the hell did I broach this?

Like a Band-Aid, I said to myself as I got in the shower. Rip it off fast, minimise the hurt. He wants me to tell him, then I'll tell him. But I'll do it in a rush.

I took my time showering. The actual
telling
I might intend to do fast, but getting there was another thing altogether. I brushed my teeth slowly. I changed my mind several times about what to wear. I cleaned my stakes until they shined. I brushed my hair until it shone just as brightly. I even tidied the bathroom, making sure the labels on all the smelly potions were facing the right way and no scum ring of soap was peeking from beneath.

I remade the bed and fluffed the pillows. I put my dirty laundry in the hamper and straightened the clothes on the rack in the closet. And then I cursed loudly at my stupidity and stomped out of the room and down the stairs.

Part way down I ran into Christopher.

"Hi," I said, my mind still focused on one thing and one thing only, so the greeting was half-arsed.

"Mistress," he nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. I slipped past him before he spoke again. "You know, he won't bite."

I spun around to face him, almost losing my balance on the narrow tread. He laughed at the look on my face.

"Well, not the kind of bite you're worried about." Then his face sobered. "But truthfully, he's been pacing down there as much as you." He smiled again. "Just be honest, he'll understand."

I frowned at his retreating back. Sure he'll understand. Like hell.

I crept into the front room, all anger at my delay tactics long since gone. I think I lost it on the stairs with Christopher, I wondered if that had been his intention all along. Michel was alone, which was surprising. I don't think I had ever entered this room and found it so bare of vampires. Or humans. Where were Kathleen and Matthew?

"They have gone to settle the purchase on our holiday home," Michel said pouring a second drink and then handing it to me. He smiled sweetly and held my gaze for a second.

"Oh," I said taking the glass. "Where is it?" I took a sip of the drink; my usual, made to perfection of course.

"Do you wish to have small talk,
ma douce
? Or shall we... rip it off quickly?"

I groaned. "Have you been in my head the whole time?" He did have the decency to look contrite at that.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I was concerned."

"Michel," I sighed. He just leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, then took a seat on the sofa closest to the roaring fire.

"Come sit with me,
ma douce
," he said patting the seat beside him with his free hand.

I didn't hesitate, but snuggled in to his side.

"You think I hunger for power," he said, surprising me. I was sure I had shielded those thoughts well. "I am only guessing, you have your thoughts well contained." He took a long drink of his Whiskey.

I screwed my face up and took a big breath in. OK, here goes nothing.

"You said,
none would be stronger than you.
I'm not afraid of you wanting power, I'm afraid of you wanting too much."

He didn't say anything for several moments, the fire crackled in time to the second hand on the large clock down the far end of the room. I sipped my drink and waited. It was a hard thing to do. I wanted to reassure him I loved him, no matter what. And above all, I wanted him to reassure me he still loved me despite my fears. Or lack of belief in him. Crap.

"I do still crave power," he said slowly. "I have missed the Master of the City role. But things change and... I don't believe I could do that, be
that
vampyre again. You have changed me." He turned and offered me a small smile. "There are many things I hunger for,
ma douce
. Do you know what I hunger for the most?"