Envious (19 page)

“It’s a deal,” Chris said, grinning.

The dinner had gone smoothly, except for the tension between him and Katie. Her mood had negated his intentions for the evening. He wanted her family and his daughter to get used to the idea of them as a couple. He didn’t even know if they were on the same page about their relationship anymore, and that worried him more than he cared to admit. He’d come too far to lose her.

Chris made sure Bianca brushed her teeth thoroughly after the chocolate cake she’d had for dessert. He knew he should have insisted on a bath, since that was another one of her mother’s rules, but she could barely keep her eyes open. He decided to tuck her in with a story about princesses and a kiss goodnight, knowing he would probably hear about it from Courtney if Bianca let it slip that he’d let her go to bed without a bath, but he couldn’t summon the energy to care about what his ex-wife thought while the woman downstairs was monopolizing his thoughts.

By the time he made it downstairs, his guests were gathered at the front door, waiting for him. “Thanks for coming, guys.” He shook Drake’s hand.

“It was our pleasure,” Drake said, smiling. “Dinner was great, by the way. You’re going to have to tell me where you got those steaks.”

“I could.” Chris smiled as he leaned in to kiss Cassidy’s cheek. “But then your wife would expect you to grill them the way I do, and we all know that would just lead to disappointment. It’s best to stick to the low-grade stuff so you can blame your atrocious grilling skills on the meat.”

Drake laughed and slapped his back. “Okay, smart-ass.”

“Language,” Cassidy said out of the corner of her mouth as she elbowed her husband gently.

Chris hugged the little girls before kissing Liz’s cheek. “I’m glad you could make it, Liz. It’s always a pleasure to see you.”

She patted his cheek and gave him a sweet smile as she stole a glimpse at her Katie out of the corner of her eye. “I hope you can figure out what’s bothering this one.” She was careful to speak loud enough for only Chris to hear.

“I’ll do my best.” He was stunned when Katie started to follow her family outside. He reached for her wrist. “Can I talk you into having a coffee before you head out?”

After a longing glance at her sister’s back, she said, “I guess so.”

They stood at the door and waved good-bye, fake smiles plastered on their faces until Drake’s Escalade was out of sight. Chris closed the door. “You want to tell me what the hell’s going on with you? You’ve been miserable all night. If this is about me bailing last night, I told you I had a—”

She held up her hand to silence him. She wrapped her arms around her waist and glared at him. “It’s not that. You have no idea why I might be upset?”

He could tell he was supposed to know, but he was clueless. Wracking his brain, he tried to come up with something he may have said or done to set her off. “No, I don’t. Are you going to tell me, or do I have to guess?”

“Are you sleeping with anyone else?” Her eyes narrowed as she searched his face for signs of deceit.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“We should take this into the other room,” she said between clenched teeth. “I don’t want to wake your daughter.”

That meant she was pissed and intended to let him have it, but she wasn’t the only one struggling to rein in her temper. He’d never given her reason to doubt him, and he didn’t think he could continue their relationship if her experiences with the wrong men made her doubt his feelings at every turn.

She led him into the kitchen and braced her back against the granite countertop. “Care to tell me about your relationship with Lucy?”

“Lucy? As in my next-door neighbor?” Uh oh, he knew where that was going. She must have told Katie they’d been seeing each other. It wasn’t an outright lie, but it was an exaggeration.

“Do you know any others?” She shook her head, a look of disappointment crossing her face before she reclaimed the mask of indifference. “I can tell by your face there’s a story there.”

Chris sighed and braced his hands on the back of a kitchen chair. He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her that Lucy meant nothing to him, but he knew she wouldn’t welcome his touch. “We’ve had dinner together a few times. We’ve never gone out, just pizza and a movie at my place.” He could tell he hadn’t convinced her. “She usually catches me when I’m getting home from work. I’m tired and haven’t eaten, so when she suggests ordering in, I figure, what the hell? She’s good company, a friend.”

“A friend? Do you sleep with all of your friends?”

Closing his eyes, he took a moment to collect himself. He didn’t have to tell Katie about every sexual encounter he’d ever had, but she and Lucy were neighbors and friendly acquaintances. “It was one time, babe. New Year’s Eve. The Callahans had a party, and we both went. I’d had a few too many, and she walked home with me. She came in and…” He felt the heat rising up his neck. The last thing he wanted was to talk to the woman he loved about a meaningless one-night stand that had happened over six months ago. “We had sex.”

“I see.” Her lips were pinched, and she looked down at the brightly painted toes peeking out of her flip-flops.

“It meant nothing. I swear to you.”

“It meant something to her. She has feelings for you.”

That didn’t come as a complete surprise. Lucy had come on pretty strong after their night together, and he’d had to tell her in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. “I’ll talk to her, tell her that you and I are together now and it’s just not gonna happen for us.” He hoped that would be enough for Katie to just let it go. He wanted to make the most of their time together, not waste it talking about a woman who meant nothing to him.

She looked at him, her eyes swimming with tears. “Maybe you should think twice before you do that.”

His stomach lurched when he saw the pain in her eyes. “Don’t do that.” He knew the door of opportunity was closing, and he had to wedge his foot in before she closed it completely. “Don’t even think about shutting me down again. We’re good together. You know we are.”

“Maybe she’s better for you. She doesn’t have my history. She’s not facing a divorce and—”

“I don’t care about any of that,” he said, trying to combat his mounting frustration. “I want you. I don’t give a damn about her!”

She recoiled when he raised his voice. “I should go.”

“Damn it, don’t go!” He knew he had to get his temper under control, but it wasn’t easy when he thought about how far they’d come and how much he stood to lose. He’d thought making love had been the beginning for them, and she was confronting him with the end instead. He wasn’t ready to face that. He didn’t think he ever would be. He wanted her, not just for a day or a month or a year, but forever. “You need to stay. We need to talk about this.”

“Not tonight,” she said, taking a few steps toward the back door. “We will, I promise. I just need some time to think.”

That was the last thing he wanted to give her. He knew she would list all of the reasons she was all wrong for him, and before he could convince her otherwise, she would decide she was through with him. “What you need to do is stay here and talk to me. That’s what people in healthy relationships do when they have a problem, they communicate.” He wasn’t helping his cause by being condescending, but desperation was clawing its way to the surface. He hated feeling so helpless.

Without another word, she walked out the door for what he feared may be the last time.

***

Chris tried to put on a brave face with his daughter the next morning, but it wasn’t easy. He’d barely slept, and he was counting down the minutes until he could go over to Katie’s house and talk some sense into her. Courtney rang the doorbell at the appointed time, and he scooped up Bianca so he could answer it. He rubbed Bianca’s nose with his own. “There’s your mommy.”

She giggled and pinched his cheeks. “You’re silly.”

“So are you.” He laughed and opened the door, his face falling when he saw the sober expression on his ex-wife’s face. He knew that look. Something was wrong. His eyes traveled to the late model Volvo in the driveway as he set Bianca on the ground and reached for her hand. He couldn’t say why, but he felt the need to hold her just a little tighter.

“Good morning,” Courtney said, faking a smile for their daughter’s benefit as she reached for a hug. “How’s my little princess?”

“Good. Daddy made me a pancake for breakfast.”

“That’s nice,” Courtney said, eyeing Chris over their daughter’s shoulder. “Honey, Charles is going to drop you off this morning.”

A frown marred Bianca’s angelic face as she looked from one parent to the other. “How come?”

“Your daddy and I have a few things to discuss before I head into work.”

Chris’s stomach clenched. “What kind of things?” They were finally settling into a routine he could live with. If she was going to propose a change, he wouldn’t like it. He didn’t see Bianca enough already. If Courtney was going to propose less time, he’d have no choice but to contest. He didn’t want to assume the worst, but the only thing he and Courtney had in common was their daughter. If she wanted to talk, it had to be about Bianca.

Courtney’s tight smile told him she didn’t intend to answer his question in front of their daughter. “Give daddy a kiss, and I’ll walk you to the car, okay, sweetie?”

Chris leaned down to hug his daughter, barely resisting the impulse to hold her until she wriggled out of his arms. “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. Be a good girl. I’ll call you tonight.”

“Love you, daddy.”

“I love you too, Bianca.”
More than you’ll ever know.
He handed Courtney the bright pink and purple backpack containing Bianca’s most treasured possessions. He tried to read her expression. Her face remained neutral, which only made him more nervous. What the hell was going on?

“I’ll be right back,” Courtney said quietly as she reached for Bianca’s hand. She led her down the driveway toward her husband’s waiting car.

Charles got out and opened the door for them, raising his hand in greeting to Chris. Even he looked uncomfortable. Chris didn’t care for Courtney’s husband, probably because he had been one of the many reasons their marriage fell apart, but he had to tolerate him for his daughter’s sake. When the car drove away, Courtney walked up the stone path, squaring her shoulders before she looked him in the eye. No question about it, she was trying to work up her nerve to talk to him about something important.
But what?

“Can I get you a cup of coffee?” he asked, feeling the need to stall.

“No, I’m fine.” She offered him a weak smile. “I have to get to work soon. Fortunately, it’s a nice day. Since it’s only a few blocks, I can walk.” She used to walk to the bank from their home every day.

“Are you gonna tell me someone died, or what?”

Courtney’s head snapped up. She appeared shocked by the question. “What? No! Why would you ask me that?”

“I’ve known you a long time, Court. It’s not often I’ve seen you look so miserable.”

She sighed heavily as she stepped past him into the foyer. “I’m not going to lie. I’ve been dreading this conversation.”

“Is it Bianca? She’s not sick, is she?” She’d seemed fine, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t missed something.

“No, it’s nothing like that.” Courtney wandered into the great room and perched on the arm of the sofa. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to come out with it. We’re moving to Arizona.”

His ears rang as he braced his hand against the doorframe. Surely he’d heard her wrong. “What are you talking about?”

“Charles got a job offer in Arizona.” Her eyes darted to her feet. “He’s going to take it.”

“And you’re going with him?” That much should be obvious, but his brain was having difficulty processing what that meant. She couldn’t be implying that she intended to take his baby thousands of miles away, could she?

“Of course I am,” she said softly. “He’s my husband.”

“So was I, but you sure as hell weren’t prepared to stick it out with me, were you?”

She frowned. “I thought we were trying to move beyond that.”

“We were.” He thrust a hand through his hair, rage and frustration warring inside of him. The conversation wasn’t about their marriage; it was about their daughter. “You can’t take Bianca.” He hadn’t intended to be so blunt, but in his mind, that wasn’t even an option. He needed her to realize that.

“Please, don’t make this harder than it is. I know how much you love her. You’re a great dad, but I have to think of my family.” She stroked her stomach. “I’m pregnant. Almost three months.”

He sucked in a breath, wishing like hell it didn’t hurt so much to think of Bianca having a little brother or sister who called another man daddy. He no longer loved Courtney, but he couldn’t help but think of the large family they’d planned. “I don’t know what to say.” He should offer his congratulations. If not for the bombshell she’d just dropped, he would have. But the words wouldn’t come.

“My whole family is there, and I really want Bianca to grow up with her grandparents and cousins.”

“She is growing up with grandparents and cousins,” he said between clenched teeth. His family would be devastated when they heard the news.

“I know.” She lowered her eyes. “We didn’t go looking for this. They came to Charles with an offer he would have been crazy to refuse. Bank president with—”

“I don’t care about any of that,” he said, raising his hand. “I can’t let you do it. I can’t let you take her away from me.”

“That’s the last thing I want to do, believe me.” She looked at him, drawing him in with eyes the exact same shade as their daughter’s. “Maybe there’s another way.”

“What are you talking about?” He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe.

“We used to talk about moving to Arizona so I could be close to my family. You said you could have a remote office there.”

“That was then. I don’t have to remind you things are different now.”

“One thing hasn’t changed. You still want to be a part of our daughter’s life. She needs you. I know that.”