Erotic Refugees (32 page)

“
The game's going great,”
Eoin said. “For some of us anyway. And the launch will be fine too.
Milly’s on top of things, isn't she?”

“
Oh yeah. I had her in my
ear all morning going through her latest fixes, and it's all
water-tight. The site's ticking over, the beta testers are testin'
and the sausage rolls are all piled up and ready for the
oven.”

Eoin propped his cue in a
corner and sat down. “But are we sure Dating Dirt is the right
idea? I mean, some of the other ones were good too—”

“
Stop the frettin' Eoin.
We did a good job. Now either it'll float like a turd—”

“
Or it'll sink like those
other turds, the ones that sink,” Eoin finished for him.

“
Yeah,” Rob said with a
scowl. “Those turds. We won't think about those turds. I'm just
hopin' some lawyer from Diamond Date doesn't turn up and start
makin' a whole pile of trouble. Last thing we need.”

“
Do you expect them to? I
mean, we're not much of a threat to them, are we?”

“
Money's money. And from
what I've heard of Linus he doesn't let things slide. Plus if
Helena is actually the leak, it'll be nice to confirm it. Maybe I
should invite a lawyer for us too, in case things get nasty. Can we
get one of Alice's friends? Tell 'em there'll be sausage
rolls?”

“
Doubtful,” Eoin said.
“Anyway, Andy will be there if muscle is needed. And so will
Alice.”

“
Really?” Rob looked
impressed. “Nice work there. How did ye get 'em both to agree to
that? Being in the same place, I mean?”

Eoin looked shifty. He poked at
a beer mat.

“
Eoin. What did ye do?
Tell yer uncle Rob now.”

“
Well, I didn't quite
tell them they'd both be there. Not in so many words.”

Rob grinned and shook his head
in mock despair. “This won't be good Eoin, not good at all.
There'll be a cat-fight for sure. Those two shouldn't be mixed
against their will. They’re like water and … gin.”

“
I don't care,” Eoin
said, looking determined. "I don't like it when people are being
stubborn. They've got things to fix up, and they won't do it by
themselves, so I'll have to do it for them. I mean, it's not like I
lied—”

“
Hang on though, Andy
asked me if Alice was comin' and I said she wasn't. Cos that's what
you told me. So ye did lie.”

Eoin nodded. “Sorry. I just
want to get this fixed. And since they won't help me, I'll have to
do it for them.”

Rob checked out a girl in
leather trousers as she passed by the table. When she turned a
corner he reached for his pint and drained the remaining third. He
looked at Eoin. “You know what?”

Eoin shrugged. “No, what?”

“
I thought you were a
right dry bastard when I met ye.” He put down his Guinness. “Looks
like I was wrong. Yer at best only mildly annoying.”

Eoin blushed. He wasn't good at
dealing with positive comments.

“
Um, thanks. And you're …
not so bad yourself.”

They were silent for a moment
as they stared at each other. They both knew, just like the
incident in the car on the way from Ikea, that this would be
consigned to the emotional shoebox in the back of the cupboard and
never be mentioned again. Gone, but still remembered.

Rob broke the silence by
slapping his hands together. “Well maybe we should get back to the
thrashing at hand, yeah? Winner of this game gets the next
pints.”

“
You wish,” Eoin said as
he stood up and reached for his cue. “I'll give you lessons if you
want. I'm very reasonable.” He leaned over and took a long shot at
a hanging ball. He shook his head in irritation as it missed the
pocket by wide margin and gestured for Rob to take his
shot.

Rob leapt joyfully to the
table. He probably knew that Eoin had missed on purpose to give him
a chance. If he did, he didn’t say anything and lined up his next
shot with a gleeful look.

“
Prepare to meet yer
doom, Dundalk boy.”

Eoin nodded with a warm smile.
“Bring it on.”

Chapter
34

By twenty to seven the
preparations for the launch party were almost done. Two long tables
had been put out in the main room, one on either side. These were
covered with food, snacks, wine and beer. There were also computer
stations set up around the room, eight of them in total, and the
Dating Dirt site would be running on all of them.

The total area they'd rented
was over two hundred square metres, including a kitchen and two
bathrooms, and Rob’s aim was to have no single point that was more
than five steps from food or drink of some description. And it
looked like he might succeed.

He turned his attention to
Ellinor who was sitting behind the desk by the front door. “You got
it then? Nobody comes in except for the people on this list and the
beta testers. Not even if they bribe ye. Although, if it's a big
bribe, give me a shout.”

“
Right,” Ellinor said.
“And these beta testers will just look like beta testers, will
they? Or will they have a special handshake?”

“
No, they'll have
invitations, with their username and a code we sent them. Just
read, it's all on that list there!”

Milly appeared and planted a
kiss on Ellinor's cheek. “Just pretend he's the boss, he likes it
that way. So, anybody else we should be ushering through the gate
Rob?”

“
Well, journalists,
obviously. And people who look like they date a lot. And … oh I
don't know, just use your women's intuition, yeah?”

“
Yes sir,” Ellinor said.
She gave an ironic bow. “Boss sir.”

Rob grinned. “Now that's what
I'm talkin' about!”

He stuck his head out the door
and gave a shiver as he glanced up and down the street. “Jaysus,
it's a graveyard out there. Couldn't we have picked a quieter day
for this, like Christmas Eve? Or the King's funeral?”

“
Wednesday means a cheap
rent,” Milly said. “And those sausage rolls in there aren’t free,
you know.”

Eoin appeared, carrying a
bundle of cables. “Aren't Eamonn and Andy here yet?” he said with
an edge of panic. He was dressed up for the occasion in a white
shirt and black waistcoat. “We're still waiting for that
projector.”

“
Look, relax, they'll be
here,” Rob said. “Where there's wine, there's Eamonn.”

Karen dashed up. Rob was glad
to see she had only the barest hint of make-up and was wearing
nothing more outlandish than black jeans and a grey t-shirt.

“
What's with all this
talking, bro? The doors are opening soon and there's a pile of
things to get done!”

“
The girl's got a point,”
Milly said. “We should start by going over our strategy for the
evening. Lead on, Karen.”

Rob followed the group to the
little podium at the other end of the room. On the wall behind the
podium hung a garish banner with the words “Dating Dirt” in big
purple letters. Milly had added a spontaneous tagline at the last
second: You have to dig some dirt to find some gold! And Rob
thought that was kind of good.

She'd also printed up a pile of glossy
documents summarising the concept, as well as a hundred and twenty
badges with the shovel logo on a yellow background. All that was
missing, Rob thought, was a priest to sprinkle some holy water
around and bless the whole thing. A rich priest who very much liked
investing in websites.

They arranged themselves in a
circle in front of the podium with Milly in the centre.

“
Well it looks to me like
we're ready,” she said.

“
The lights are a bit
bright though,” Karen said.

“
And there's no music,”
Ellinor added.

“
Plus,” Eoin said, “that
projector hasn't showed up—”

“
Relax, it'll be here!”
Rob said. “And if it doesn't show then we'll just do that
sock-puppet show we talked about.”

“
Oh can it Rob,” Milly
said. “What about the guests? Karen, who did you
invite?”

“
Who didn't I invite?”
Karen said. “Arts and culture people, magazines, newspapers, and
any useful bloggers I could track down. A few of them said yes, and
a few more said maybe, but I’ve really no idea who's going to make
it.”

“
Good. And, oh, I
forgot!” Milly reached behind the podium. She pulled out a clump of
yellow fabric that resolved itself into a dozen t-shirts. “I just
got them!”

Karen stared at the t-shirts
and their glaring logo with undisguised horror. “No way I'm wearing
that.” She patted her shoulder bag. “I've got my outfit right
here.”

“
I'm not wearing them
either,” Eoin said. “How will we get any respect if we look like
we're selling burgers?”

“
Oh alright then,” Milly
said. “We'll just give the things out as freebies. It's a business
expense anyway, tax deductible. Oh, here comes somebody
now!”

They heard the sound of a car
pulling up outside the door, followed by slamming doors and a
barrage of swears in an Irish accent.

“
It's the projector!”
Eoin said.

Milly raised a hand. “Hang on
Eoin, before you dash off there's just one more thing to do. And we
can't skip it.” She produced a stack of plastic champagne glasses
along with a large bottle containing something orange and fizzy.
Once the glasses were handed out she filled each one and raised her
own in a toast.

Rob frowned at the contents of
his glass. “What's this?”

Karen peered into it. “I do
declare it's Fanta! Quite popular on your planet I believe.”

“
Oh ye think.” Rob glared
at it. “It's not really a toast if there isn't any alcohol. That's
probably a law.”

“
Rob,” Milly said
cheerfully. “Just shut up. And the rest of you, here's to a
successful launch!”

“
Cheers!” they said as
one and downed their fizzy orange.

“
And now people,” Milly
said, “it's action stations! Let's go get 'em and don't you even
think about letting me down. Or you'll have to wear those t-shirts
until Christmas!”

Karen emerged from the kitchen
as the first of the guests were arriving. Rob, with an armful of
napkins, stopped dead and stared at her. “What, bro?” She gave him
an innocent look as she nudged her breasts into position inside her
sleek black bodice.

“
Right, now I'll just
need somebody to lace me up.”

“
Jaysus, Karen,” Rob
said. “Isn't it just a bit—”

“
I'll fix that,” Milly
said, slipping between them elegantly.

Karen shrugged as Milly went to
work, tugging on the laces. “I really don't know what he's worried
about. He should see what I wear when I go clubbing.”

Rob raised a hand. “Stop, I
don't want to know any more. Just pray the mother doesn't hear
about it, is all.”

He hurried to the front door
where Ellinor was checking off three guys against the names on the
list. Rob looked them over but didn't see any resemblance to
Kajsa's brother Linus. He wasn't really expecting Linus to make a
personal appearance but he still felt he should be on the lookout
for suspicious people. It couldn't hurt.

Eoin stepped up, in perfect
gentleman mode, and welcomed the newcomers in faultless (if slow)
Swedish. One of them muttered something as he peered around. Eoin,
in reply, pointed out where the beer was. That seemed to satisfy
the group and they headed for the beer table where Milly greeted
them with a brilliant smile.

“
Looking good,” Eoin
muttered and Rob nodded his approval. It was filling up nicely and
the conversation had reached a comfortable level. Now they could
let things roll and the party part should take care of itself.
Which just left the main event of the evening, the presentation, to
worry about.

Rob spotted Andy at one the
computer stations. He was looking very sharp in a blue shirt, wide
black suspenders and shiny shoes. Rob nodded to him, glad he
wouldn't be taking care of the kerfuffle when Alice arrived and
they both realised Eoin had tricked them. That was Eoin's mess, and
he had plenty to worry about already.

“
Rob!” hissed somebody
from across the room. He looked around and saw Karen waving to him,
in a frantic “get your arse over here right now” way. Rob got his
arse over there and joined Karen and Milly by the nacho and dip
corner.

“
What is it?”

“
That one there.” Karen
pointed. “He's a journalist. Ellinor gave me the signal from the
door when he came in.”

Rob looked the man over. He was
a typical Södermalm media type with sleek jeans, big black-framed
glasses and a bushy woodsman's beard. He was standing alone at one
of the viewing stations, clicking around on the site and looking
just a bit lost.

“
I'll take him,” Karen
hissed.

“
No way, he's mine,”
Milly whispered back. “You'll just scare him. Look, he's all
nervous already.”

“
But Milly,” Rob said,
“you don't even like men!”

“
I like them well enough, Rob. I
just don't do the wet slappy dance with them.” She cleared her
throat and stuck her chest out. “Well, here goes then. Wish me
luck!” And off she went.

“
Keep your eyes open for
any more,” Rob whispered to Karen.

“
Yes sir, Rob sir.” She
nudged him away. “Go on now bro, get out there and mingle. Ellinor
will let me know when the next one arrives.”